Diamonds, flowers, exotic vacations and great sex really do make a relationship seem great, but it’s actually the little things that matter the most. Marriage is a work of maintenance and small steps yield happier results in the end. These little works of love and care go a long way towards making your marriage stronger over time, against the crests and troughs that usually come with it.
When your idea of romance and keeping the “spark” alive revolves largely around grand gestures and expensive gifts, you may end up firing blanks when trying to focus on the little things. We’re not saying those expensive gifts are bad, but what makes a marriage stronger isn’t always manufactured in a Gucci factory somewhere.
Sometimes, a simple act of kindness may just do the trick. When a thoughtful gesture ends up making your partner smile from ear to ear, you won’t have to rely on expensive jewelry. If you want to make your marriage last forever, then here are 23 little things you need to start adopting into your marriage.
23 Little Things You Should Do To Make Your Marriage Stronger
Little things often make a huge difference. A few years into any relationship, and the initial excitement starts to fade. Then comes the permanence of marriage, making it even more susceptible to becoming boring. Sure, that vacation you took might help things for a while, but if the next six months seem more of a drag than joyous, something’s definitely wrong.
Making a marriage stronger involves a lot of things, like making sure the fundamentals like mutual respect in a relationship, communication, trust, and love are all abundant. But even in the presence of the most resolute morals, boredom can seep into your dynamic without you realizing it.
A simple way to tackle this is to work on your relationship, little by little, every single day. We’ve listed out the little things you can do to make your marriage stronger, so you don’t spend precious time pondering over what you can do.
1. Try to be a good friend first
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Those are not my words but those of German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. A lot of arguments stop seeming relevant when you start fighting as friends, but then forgive each other too, as friends.
When you can truly call your partner your best friend, you’ll also be able to improve marriage intimacy, making sure you don’t hide your feelings from your paramour.
2. Be a good listener
You may or may not be a good talker, but practice the art of listening. Your partner might talk about everyday life or some frivolous gossip, but make sure they have your attention. It makes them appreciate you, because you value their speech.
Pro tip: understand the distinction between problem-solving and simply listening. Sometimes, when your partner rants about their terrible day, they’re not looking for solutions to their problems. Perhaps all they want is for you to acknowledge their struggle and say something like, “That sounds like it must’ve been annoying,” instead of saying something like, “You should’ve done this to fix it.”
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3. Have real conversations
There can’t be anything more simple and minor that will gradually but steadily improve your marriage relationship. Conversations don’t mean discussing the mundane, but more like huddled inside a blanket on a wintry evening and asking questions that connect two souls. Improving communication in your dynamic will help you solve the majority of your arguments, simply by being able to calmly voice your concerns.
4. Saying thank you makes your marriage stronger
Does s/he make excellent tea that scares away your headache? Maybe s/he always makes sure to help you with washing the dishes. Though they may seem like a routine affair, they also spell care and love out loud. Never take these acts for granted. Saying thank you to your partner shows that you appreciate their efforts.
5. The little surprises go a long way
Once the old Romeo-Juliet fever winds down after marriage, spouses stop making efforts to make their partners happy with little surprises. But when done right, these kind spontaneous acts of affection can end up making a person’s day. Are you on your way back from work? Stop at your partner’s favorite bakery and pick up their favorite croissants for them. Is your partner stressed from work? Make them breakfast in bed one day. Subtle-yet-cute ways to strengthen a marriage are often these thoughtful gestures that everybody loves.
6. The dating must not stop
What happened to your old romance? It’s true that after marriage, responsibilities, work, kids – everything starts to eat into your romantic mood. But you must try to not give in. It is essential that you take a break from everything else and spend some quality time together as a couple.
7. Overlook the annoying habits
Whether it’s the wet towel on the bed, or the pile of clothes taking all the space on the bed – try to overlook these small things. Voice your concerns at times, but resist the urge to make it a habit. Accept a person as he or she is, and the fact that you cannot change a few things.
8. Kiss goodbye before going to work
A good morning kiss or any other type of kiss definitely starts your day on a positive note. German physicians and psychologists found that men who kissed their spouses goodbye before heading off for work each morning live an average of five years longer and earn 20 to 30 percent more money than other men.
The things you can do to make your marriage stronger don’t need to be expensive or even grand, romantic gestures. A kiss before going to work, a surprise hug from behind, a kiss goodnight, might all do wonders.
9. Do a couple activity together every now and then
In order to build a successful marriage, it is essential that you work as a team. Doing at least one activity together goes a long way in making your marriage work. You can either cook a meal together or go to the gym together, depending on your shared interests.
10. Give each other personal space
Do not forget that you are free individuals who have their own lifestyle habits, friends, hobbies and interests. Give your partner his/her own space to thrive. This brings a sense of respect for each other and keeps the marriage relationship healthy.
Ironically, to make your marriage stronger, sometimes you need to give each other a bit of space. Spending a weekend with your friends or even going on a solo trip may sound like a big deal, but once it’s done you realize it’s done your relationship a world of good.
11. How to make your marriage stronger is all about showing how much you care
Ways of showing affection can be as simple as making your partner a cup of tea if they can’t stop sneezing. If s/he’s struggling to meet deadlines at work and returns home late, you can always wait for them to return before you have dinner. Sometimes, showing that you really do care makes your marriage a lot better.
12. Spending time with your in-laws
In order to make a marriage last, it is essential that you spend some quality time with your in-laws as well. We know, we know, dealing with your in-laws might be the last way you want to spend your Sunday morning, but trying to make your marriage stronger is more important than that Netflix show you were looking forward to watching all week.
Related Reading: Five simple rules for a happy marriage
13. Send cute texts to each other when you’re not together
Nothing can be cuter and more adorable than sending little love messages when your partner is least expecting it. A “miss you” text, or a simple “I can’t wait to see you again” can boost anyone’s mood. It’s not that hard to be cute over the phone or through texts, and you can even send a selfie to your partner, letting them know how much you miss them.
14. Physical intimacy is a great way to strengthen a marriage
A hug, a gentle or passionate kiss, holding hands, cuddling together – these little touches and acts of physical intimacy keep the excitement in a marriage alive. Indulge in a little PDA, or maybe even kiss your spouse when they don’t expect it. Still figuring out how to make your marriage stronger? Why sex of course — it plays an important role
If you want to get better at sex, all you’ve got to do is ask your partner what they like and what they don’t. You don’t have to do that “thing” they like all the time, but hey, at least they’ll feel heard.
15. Sleep together – literally
Every night, make it a point that you both go to the bed together. If you cannot give up your late-night shows or give Internet surfing hours a break every day, do it at least a few nights. Hitting the bed together, ruffling each other’s hair, and sharing a laugh or two is the perfect way to end a day.
16. Laughing together is a happy marriage trick anyone can learn
Sharing laughter could be the most vital and healthy thing in keeping your marriage alive. Find some old embarrassing photos or watch your favorite romantic comedies together, or maybe even reminisce about the good times you spent with each other. Meet up with a couple of friends for that Sunday brunch, the laughter is bound to flow, along with those mimosas.
17. Keep the passion alive in the bedroom
As we mentioned before, keeping things interesting in the bedroom is a simple yet often overlooked aspect of making a marriage stronger. Undoubtedly, sex improves marriage intimacy between couples, often resulting in enhanced comfort and trust between one another.
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18. Boost each other’s self-esteem
In marriage, you are each other’s bedrock. A little motivation and encouragement from you can boost your partner’s self-esteem. And you have no idea how deeply and passionately they will come to love and admire you. Giving each other confidence-boosting compliments can literally be as simple as, “You’re the smartest person I know, you’re going to nail that presentation.”
The ways to strengthen a marriage all revolve around the fundamentals of any good relationship: trust, support, communication, respect and love.
Related Reading: 10 Things Happy Couples Do That Others Don’t
19. Watch your words
Words cut deeper than swords, we all know that. Always be kind in your speech and avoid using hurtful abusive words, if you really wish to make your marriage last. It may not even seem like what you’re saying is hurtful, but a harmless comparison of your spouse to one of your friends isn’t going to be so harmless to them.
20. What makes a marriage stronger: honesty on all fronts
No marriage is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. What matters more is your approach towards those mistakes, because that will determine the course your marriage will take…for better or for worse. Instead of practicing the habit of lying, make it a practice to tell the truth, even when you’re afraid and ashamed.
21. Thoughtful sweet-nothings will improve marriage intimacy
Leave a note on the refrigerator when you are late. Bring her her favorite flowers even a non-occasion. Give your spouse a day off from household chores. Sneak in a dirty message in the wallet. These small gestures can end up changing the way you two look at each other, and voila, the ways to show affection won’t seem as difficult as you think they are.
Make a random day seem like it’s Valentine’s day and go all out on your celebrations. Being spontaneous and kind at the same time will speak volumes about the compassion you have toward your partner.
22. Dress to impress
Bring a breath of fresh air into your marriage relationship by dressing up only for your spouse. And when they ask, “What’s special?”, wink and say, “You”. Seriously though, one of the best happy marriage tricks anyone can learn is making sure you don’t stop putting effort into yourself after you get married.
23. Cherish the silence
Couples who have been in a successful marriage claim that silence is a big sign of compatibility. You not only learn to deal with the bickering maturely, but also learn to cherish the long breaths of silence, when you sit next to each other saying nothing.
Now that you know these 23 little things, never, ever, make the mistake of considering these things literally as ‘little’. They actually go a long way in making a big difference in your marriage.
Related Reading: What Do You Do When You Are In An Unhappy Marriage?
Why Is It Important To Work On Your Marriage?
Marriage continues to be one of the most important aspects of a person’s life. Everyone looks forward to the day they get married, and they have probably dreamt up their ideal partner too. But are marriages really simple and happy affairs? We doubt it. In the present scenario, not only are young people taking their time in choosing a marriage partner and settling down, but also realizing that making their marriage last forever has justifiably become a lot more important.
In the days of old, you may have noticed it was commonplace for married couples to not tell each other things that were bothering them, essentially increasing their communication problems. Once those issues grew to be too much to handle, it generally resulted in a huge issue or a fight that eventually led to the complete deterioration of the marriage.
Since being on the brink of divorce is not something anyone looks forward to, making a marriage stronger must become an everyday endeavor. With the help of the happy marriage tricks that we shared here, anyone can have the rock-solid marriage of their dreams. Hopefully, you now realize the importance of those goodnight kisses.
No, we’re not saying those surprise gestures and a bit of PDA will save your marriage, but at least they’ll show your partner that you care about them. Plus, as long as healthy communication is in play, there isn’t much that can get in between the two of you.
No one said that spending your entire life with one person, getting to know them and their family and making a marriage work, would be easy. But no one said that it was a Herculean task either. If you wish to make the most of your marriage and make it better with every passing day like a fine bottle of wine, then you better start typing that little love message to your spouse right now.