Dealing with in-laws, especially the ones who don’t approve of your marriage, can be tricky territory. Constant nagging and taunts at family dinners and parties keep you on the edge, leaving you feeling like you need to walk on eggshells around them to keep the peace. But, at the end of the day, they are your spouse’s parents, and by extension, a part of your life now.
Even if you haven’t been able to build a rapport with them, you have to find a way to co-exist with them. If you’re looking for some tips for dealing with in-laws, you’ve come to the right place!
5 Tips For Dealing With In-Laws
What do you do when it takes every ounce of energy in your being to put up with the people who brought your life partner into this world? Those of you blessed with adjusting, liberal and loving in-laws, this piece is not for you.
However, the rest of us aren’t so lucky and are often left struggling with one question: how to deal with horrible in-laws without letting it take a toll on our marriages. Well, we’re here to help you figure it all out. If you feel like your strained relationship with your spouse’s parents is ruining your marriage, try these tips for dealing in-laws:
Related Reading: How To Impress Your In-laws In The First Meeting
1. Avoid being collateral damage in the war between your in-laws and the home staff
Be generous with your wallet, very generous. These two will never see eye-to-eye, so instead of trying to get them to bond, incentivize the house help to stand down and get them to admit defeat.
Your in-laws do not want to hear your opinion and just want someone to back them up when it comes to negotiating. It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right, if you want to get on the good books of your in-laws, make it clear that you are on their side.
2. Break the prison of emotional blackmail
Next time your holiday plans abruptly get canceled because of the guilt of the ubiquitous “I don’t know how many days I have left with you” retort, take measures to increase those days.
No more greasy burgers and sugary sweet cheesecakes for the fathers-in-law whose hearts are at the brink of giving out any minute, or shopping and going to the salon every other day for the mothers-in-law whose knees are no longer up for it.
No matter how much they hate it, don’t deal with their hypocrisy. If they are emotionally blackmailing you, make sure to use it to your advantage.
3. Steer clear of the influx of extended family visits
If the visiting relatives are beyond second cousins, find a conveniently timed charity or pressing task to attend to which saves you from serving unlimited cups of tea and coffee, as well as explains your absence during those mindless gossip sessions.
Before you lose your mind at your mother-in-law and her group of gossiping old women, by screaming at them to get a life, just take your leave and spend your time wisely.
4. Their never-ending struggles with technology
Let’s be honest, the most annoying aspect of dealing with in-laws is their struggle with technology. Since they insist on being active smartphone users, their unskilled maneuvering of WhatsApp and Facebook causes you to play technician more often than you would like.
If you’ve ever had to deal with Facetime calls with no audio because they are covering the speakers, or them complaining about not receiving a reply when they haven’t even hit send on iMessage, it is totally justified why you would be irritated.
The solution to this is simple, pass on the responsibility to your offspring under the pretence of quality grandparent bonding time. Your children may hate you for this, but grandparents love their grandchildren no matter how much they dislike their daughters-in-law.
The kids-grandparents equation is something that they love, and will never ruin the relationship with their grandchildren. So make your kids do the dirty work.
5. The unwanted critical feedback for all your actions
In their eyes you can’t seem to do anything right, be it perfecting a family recipe or raising their grandchildren. To avoid being constantly compared and put down, do the same to them. Compare them to their siblings, friends and cousins. “Karen’s mother-in-law makes the most delicious Sunday roast, I wish there was someone in our family who had such culinary skills.”
Hopefully, this article helped you understand a little better how to deal with in-laws, and how to not take to heart what they say. If your husband and children love you, and you are happy as a family, nothing else matters!
Learn to ignore their taunting comments. Try to avoid family visits that you know won’t end well, and avoid arguments at all costs. You don’t want to unnecessarily spend your energy on people who don’t bother to change their perspective.
If you don’t get along with them, dealing with in-laws is quite the task, so you don’t want to be living in the same house as them.
If your husband is very attached to his parents, then yes this dynamic can ruin a marriage. Make sure you’re marrying the right man!