Any romantic relationship — be it a marriage or otherwise — is a partnership. Together you will battle personal demons, financial and household crises, terrible moods, career issues, errors in judgements, and so on and so forth. So, there will be as many bad days as there are days full of sunshine and rainbows. No marriage is just about the happy days alone. The secret to a happy marriage is knowing that, no matter the storm, trouble, or obstacle that you face, as long as you have each other and choose your bond over everything else, you will be alright.
You will always emerge from the crises stronger and happier than ever before. A happy marriage is characterized by this knowledge, an understanding of each others’ needs, wants and temperaments, and emotional maturity on each partner’s part. Sure, physical intimacy is important too, but it is all those other little things that characterize a truly happy marriage.
For newlyweds, though, such a terrain may be difficult to navigate and they may find themselves struggling to maintain and strengthen the marital bond when faced with crisis after crisis. In such situations, it is important to remember and stick the 10 key rules to a happy marriage. While there is hardly a manual that will help you deal with everything — especially since everyone’s situation is unique — sticking to these rules will still make it way easier to navigate these treacherous waters.
10 Rules For A Happy Marriage
There is no one-stop solution, no manual or guide that can help you deal with every problem you may encounter in a marriage and turn it into a happy relationship that lasts forever. But still, every married couple looks for that secret ingredient in the recipe to make their marriage a happy and successful one. However, we must come to terms with the fact that the path leading there has no shortcut to this. It is all about putting in constant effort and choosing each other over everything else every time.
This may seem like a lot of work, but, in the end, know that it will always be worth it. Make mistakes, make horrible decisions, but always remember to be willing to fix things. Because, together, you can solve anything. That being said, there are 10 rules for a happy marriage that every couple should always follow to lead a life of marital bliss:
1. Always remember that you are two separate individuals
The first one in this list of 10 rules for a happy marriage is to acknowledge the fact that, even though you are sharing your life with your spouse, you two are unique individuals. While, that shouldn’t stop you from sharing your feelings with your partner, remembering that you are two separate individuals who have been brought up differently and are characterized by different needs, wants and desires will help you understand each other better.
It will also keep you from having unfair expectations of each other and instead allow you to be understanding of your partner’s point of view even in the direst of situations.
2. Be willing to compromise
When two people share a life together, they face many ups and downs in life that require some degree of compromise. Always look at the bigger picture and compromise where necessary and when it’s practical.
While these rules for a successful marriage do not mean that you should always bend over backward to fulfill your partner’s demands, especially if they aren’t rational demands at all, it does mean that you would need to be willing to let go of certain things to make them happy. Human beings are selfish beings. But love is anything but selfish. Love requires adjustments on each partner’s part. So, if giving up on something or changing a habit or two can make your partner and your marriage happier, be willing to make those adjustments.
That being said, another one of the rules for a happy marriage is to remember to not take this too far and end up being the only partner making sacrifices and compromising on everything. Both you and your spouse need to compromise on things to make your marriage a truly equal, mature partnership.
3. Keep your arguments healthy
Finally, don’t be afraid of disagreeing with your partner, but do it respectfully. Remember, a happy marriage has no space for ego. Let your mutual love win through it all. This is an important mantra and one of the key marriage rules to live by.
Healthy arguments are okay. Anger, irritability, and frustration are very human emotions. There will be times when both, you and your partner, make mistakes. There will be other times when you hurt each other. Even if that leads to arguments, do not resort to pettiness. Do not engage in blame games and name-calling. Try and get to the bottom of the issue together instead of turning it into a battle you have to win.
Arguments can be a good medium of communication as long as you keep things healthy, open and respectful.
4. Don’t be afraid to communicate
Communication is the key to any relationship. Your partner can almost never tell what you are thinking. So, it is important to communicate your feelings and needs with your partner instead of keeping it all to yourself. It may feel difficult at first, especially if you are used to dealing with things alone, but as we’ve said before, a marriage is a partnership. So, your problems aren’t just yours alone anymore. Tell them to your partner, even if it feels embarrassing. This is one of the key rules for a happy marriage.
Chances are, your partner has been waiting for the chance to be of help. Also, open communication can solve a problem before it has the chance to turn into a bigger issue. And remember, communication is not just about saying things. It is also about being willing to listen. Listen to their side of the story without getting defensive. One of the major marriage rules to live by is to try to understand each other’s position and deal with the issues together.
5. Work on keeping the spark alive
Just because you are married now doesn’t mean the romance has to be dead. Once the honeymoon period is over, work hard on keeping that spark alive. Don’t just let the romance fade away as you lose yourself to family duties and professional responsibilities. Learn new things about them every day and fall in love with them all over again. Take time out of your busy schedules and spend it with each other. Go traveling. Pull pranks. Buy flowers and have date nights.
Remember, one of the best parts about being married is that you get to be with the love of your life for the rest of eternity. So, shower them with affection whenever you can.
6. Be trustful and trustworthy
There is no point in being together if you cannot trust your partner. Sure, there will be times when both you and they may keep secrets from each other. But still, trust them to do the right thing. One of the rules for a happy marriage is trusting your partner unconditionally as it will inspire them to do better and be better every day, since they would not want to let you down ever. Put your faith in your love and the bond that you share with each other and each day will be filled with marital bliss.
7. Respect each others’ opinions
This may seem like a no-brainer to some, but it is still one of the rules to a happy relationship. They are your partner in crime. They want the same things as you. Both of you want each other to be happy. So, why would you not pay heed to their opinions or advice? Even if it feels like they may have no idea about a situation, explain things to them and take time to listen to their piece.
And, whatever you do, remember not to ridicule their opinions, no matter how silly it may seem. Explain why you think what they are suggesting wouldn’t work instead. Learn to learn from each other and you will grow stronger as people and as a couple with every passing day.
8. Choose your battles wisely
While arguments are a great way of communicating your feelings, sometimes it does not bode well to be fighting and arguing about everything. One of the rules to a happy relationship that you should remember is that some battles are better not fought, especially when they can be resolved if you just make a few, small adjustments on your part.
Instead of always expecting your partner to fix their mistakes, actually ask yourself if the issue at hand is important at all. Or are you just used to doing things a certain way and don’t like it when you have to change them — even if the change is not so bad in itself? Introspect before engaging in arguments every time. In life, you win some, you lose some. But losing some battles and letting go of the rest may just help you win love in this situation.
9. Tackle problems together
Marriage rules state how important it is to learn to share your hardships with each other — even if it does feel difficult to be so vulnerable in front of another person. The idea of what is personal and private changes when you are married. So, your personal and professional troubles aren’t just yours to deal with anymore.
Think of it this way: Once you are married, you have got a wingman, a partner in crime, a confidante, a well wisher and a best friend all rolled into one. Use that power to tackle problems together instead of keeping things from each other.
10. Support each others’ dreams
Being each other’s biggest source of strength and motivation is pivotal to leading a happy marital life. It is one of the major marriage rules. You must strive to be the most essential force of inspiration for your spouse, even when times get tough. It is your responsibility to support their dreams, their career and their ambitions whenever and however you can and vice versa.
Tap into the powers of companionship, mutual understanding and respect to achieve your dreams and shoot for the stars together. Be the power couple everyone only dreams of becoming. It’s not hard as long as you have each other and your strong bond built out of love, compassion and mutual respect to fall back on.
In the end, while these 10 rules for a happy marriage may help, know that there isn’t a guide or list of rules for marriage that can tell you what to do and how to actually handle every problem, every moment and every disaster that comes with a marriage. But, thankfully, you have your partner and love of your life right by your side so you can face the world and its million hardships together.
The secrets to an everlasting marriage, and to any long-lasting relationship, are open and honest communication, trust in each other, mutual respect and the ability to be vulnerable in front of each other. No matter the problems or the obstacles you may face in your relationship, as long as you maintain communication, trust, respect and are ready to be vulnerable in front of each other, you can weather any storm and still emerge unscathed, with your bond stronger than ever before.
The key to any happy relationship is knowing that there will be sad and difficult days. No relationship can be constantly happy. There will be arguments, hardships, obstacles and terribly difficult circumstances. But as long as you put your faith in each other and face the difficulties together, you will have bright, sunny days again. Basically, long, happy relationships require a lot of effort and understanding from both partners. But, as long as they remember that their relationship with each other is more important than winning any argument, they will be able to deal with anything and derive happiness from each other’s company even in the darkest of times.
A loving, trusting, caring, and respectful partner can make anyone happy in a marriage, be it a man or a woman. Remember that no matter how many expensive gifts you buy for someone, if they do not feel loved or respected in the relationship, they will never be happy in it. Since our society is inherently patriarchal, there is a tendency among a lot of husbands to look down on their wives’ opinions when it comes to making household and financial decisions. Such husbands cannot make their partners happy. It is not enough to not be abusive to your wife. Treat her as an equal partner instead. Respect her opinion. A loving, respectful and trustworthy partner is what anyone wants from a relationship. As long as they have that, they can get through any storm together.