Marriage is not easy. Sometimes your spouse will rock the boat. Other times you will do something to make them furious. That’s why you need some rules for a happy marriage to battle personal demons, financial and household crises, terrible moods, career issues, errors in judgments, and so on and so forth. No marriage is just about the joyous days alone. The secret to a happy marriage is not so much in how compatible the two of you are. The secret lies in how you deal with incompatibility.
A happy marriage is characterized by this knowledge, an understanding of each others’ needs, wants, and temperaments, and emotional maturity on each partner’s part. Sure, physical intimacy is important too, but it is all those other little things that characterize a truly happy marriage. For newlyweds, though, such terrain may be difficult to navigate and they may find themselves struggling to maintain the marital bond when faced with crisis. In such situations, it is important to remember and stick to the 10 key rules to a happy marriage that we’ve given below.
10 Rules For A Happy Marriage
There is no one-stop solution, no manual or guide that can help you deal with every problem you encounter in a marriage and turn it into a happy relationship that lasts forever. But still, every married couple looks for that secret ingredient to make their marriage a happy and successful one. However, we must come to terms with the fact that the path leading there has no shortcut. It is all about putting in constant effort and choosing each other over everything else every time.
This may seem like a lot of work, but, in the end, know that it will always be worth it. Make mistakes, make horrible decisions, but always remember to be willing to fix things. Because, together, you can solve anything. That being said, there are 10 rules for a happy marriage that every couple should follow to lead a life of marital bliss:
1. Learn to forgive and forget
One of the golden rules for a happy married life is practicing the art of forgiveness. You are married to another individual who has their own beliefs, perspectives, judgments, and opinions. You can’t expect them to act like you and vice-versa. You are two separate human beings prone to making several mistakes in a day.
When you learn to forgive with an open heart, you will have lesser problems in your marriage. Furthermore, you also have to let go of grudges and bitterness. Two people in a healthy relationship should learn to forgive when they make mistakes. Here are some tips to master the art of forgiveness in your married life:
- Acknowledge the harm done to you by your partner
- Don’t bury it deep inside you and wait for a cannon blast
- Talk about it with your partner and let them know what bothered you
- If you were the one who hurt them, then listen to their concerns
- Repair. Mend your partner’s heart by taking accountability for your words and behavior
- Apologize sincerely
2. Be willing to compromise
When two people share a life together, they face many ups and downs in life that require some degree of compromise. Always look at the bigger picture and compromise where necessary and when it’s practical. Compromising is one of the most important things in marriage.
While these rules for married couples do not mean that you should always bend over backward to fulfill your partner’s demands, especially if they aren’t rational demands at all, it does mean that you would need to be willing to let go of certain things to make them happy. This person is your whole world but they can be selfish and conditional at times. Don’t compromise when they are engaging in conditional love because compromise becomes sacrifice in the long run.
Love requires adjustments on each partner’s part. So, if giving up on something or changing a habit or two can make your partner and your marriage happier, be willing to make those adjustments. That being said, another one of the rules for a happy marriage is to remember to not take this too far and end up being the only partner making sacrifices. Some things should not be compromised on. Both you and your spouse need to make your marriage a truly equal and mature partnership.
3. Keep your arguments healthy
Don’t be afraid of disagreeing with your partner, but do it respectfully. Remember, a happy marriage has no space for ego. Let your mutual love win through it all. This is an important mantra and one of the key marriage rules to live by. Healthy arguments are necessary to sustain your bond.
They can be a good medium of communication as long as you keep things healthy, open, and respectful. Make your relationship better over time by fighting fair in your marriage. Here are some tips on how to do so:
- Do not engage in blame games and name-calling in your relationship
- Try and get to the bottom of the issue together instead of turning it into a battle you have to win
- Don’t use a condescending tone
- Don’t argue just for the sake of winning the argument
- Remember you and your partner aren’t fighting against each other. You are a team fighting against a problem
- Don’t leave an argument unsettled
Related Reading: 11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse – Spice Up Your Marriage
4. Don’t be afraid to communicate
Good communication is the key to any relationship. It is one of the most important things in marriage. Your partner can almost never tell what you are thinking. Communicate your feelings and needs with your partner instead of keeping it all to yourself. Open communication can solve a problem before it has the chance to turn into a bigger issue.
And remember, communication is not just about saying things. It is also about being a good listener. Listen to their side of the story without getting defensive. One of the major marriage rules to live by is to try to understand each other’s position and deal with the issues together. You will feel good when you talk it out with your spouse and they will feel the same. They will go to sleep content thinking that they have the best partner in the world.
5. Work on keeping the spark alive
One of the most important rules for married couples is to not let stagnancy ruin the foundation of their love and happiness. The last thing you want is to make your partner feel unloved and unappreciated. Just because you are married now doesn’t mean the romance has to be dead. Once the honeymoon period is over, work hard on keeping that spark alive. Don’t just let the romance fade away as you lose yourself to family duties and professional responsibilities.
Listed below are some happy marriage tips and small things you can do to make your relationship better over time:
- Learn new things about them every day and fall in love with them all over again
- Take time out of your busy schedules and spend it with each other
- Go traveling
- Pull pranks on each other
- Buy flowers and go on date nights
- Use words of affirmation to make them feel loved
- Touch them in non-sexual ways
Remember, one of the best parts about being married is that you get to be with the love of your life every day. So, shower them with affection whenever you can.
6. Be trustful and trustworthy
There is no point in being together if you cannot trust your partner. Sure, there will be times when both you and they may keep secrets from each other. But still, trust them to do the right thing. One of the rules for a happy marriage is trusting your partner unconditionally as it will inspire them to do better and be better every day since they would not want to let you down.
Put your faith in your love and the bond that you share with each other. Don’t go around snooping and checking your partner’s phone. If you suspect anything, see if it’s your paranoia from past relationships acting up. If they have always been loyal and faithful, then don’t rain down hell on them before you have solid proof.
7. Respect each others’ opinions
This may seem like a no-brainer to some, but it is still one of the rules of a happy relationship. They are your partner in crime. They want the same things as you, mostly. Both of you want each other to be happy. So, why would you not pay heed to their opinions or advice? Even if it feels like they have no idea about a situation, explain things to them and take time to listen to their piece.
And, whatever you do, remember not to ridicule their opinions, no matter how silly they seem. Explain why you think what they are suggesting wouldn’t work instead. Learn to learn from each other and you will grow stronger as people and as a couple with every passing day.
8. Show compathy and kindness
Research shows that being compassionate toward your partner has many benefits. It shows that when you do something nice for them, such as making their morning coffee or showing affection to your partner, it can boost your emotional well-being, regardless of whether or not they notice.
Here are some of the most bankable rules for a successful marriage:
- Be kind to them
- Look at things from their perspective
- Don’t make fun of them when they make a mistake
- Correct them gently. Don’t criticize them
- Be vulnerable with one another
- Don’t make them feel like they are alone in this world
Related Reading: 7 Fundamentals Of Commitment In A Marriage
9. Tackle problems together
Marriage rules state how important it is to learn to share your hardships with each other – even if it does feel difficult to be so vulnerable in front of another person. The idea of what is personal and private changes when you are married. So, your personal and professional troubles aren’t just yours to deal with anymore.
Think of it this way: Once you are married, you have got a wingman, a partner in crime, a confidante, a well-wisher, and a best friend all rolled into one. Use that power to tackle problems together instead of keeping things from each other.
10. Support each others’ dreams
Being each other’s biggest source of strength and motivation is pivotal to leading a happy marital life. It is one of the major marriage rules. You must strive to be the most essential force of inspiration for your spouse, even when times get tough. It is your responsibility to be a supportive spouse when it comes to their dreams, their career, and their ambitions, and vice-versa.
Tap into the powers of companionship and mutual understanding to achieve your dreams and shoot for the stars together. Be the power couple everyone dreams of becoming. It’s not hard as long as you have each other and your strong bond built out of love, compassion, and mutual respect to fall back on.
- Marriage is hard work. It is always 50-50. It has to be kept alive with little acts of love, compromise, and mutual understanding
- One of the rules for married couples to keep their marriage healthy is to not let outside people enter their dynamic and to not let conflicts go unresolved
- Some other rules for a successful marriage include respecting each other’s opinions and supporting their dreams
If things are rocky, talk to your family therapist or take couple’s counseling. While these golden rules for a happy married life may help, know that there isn’t a guide or list of rules for marriage that can tell you what to do and how to actually handle every problem, every moment, and every disaster that comes with a marriage. But, thankfully, you have your partner and the love of your life right by your side so you can face the world and its million hardships together.
This article has been updated in April 2023.
The secrets to an everlasting marriage, and to any long-lasting relationship, are open and honest communication, trust in each other, mutual respect, and the ability to be vulnerable in front of each other.
Happy relationships require a lot of effort and understanding from both partners. But as long as they remember that their relationship with each other is more important than winning any argument, they will be able to deal with anything and derive happiness from each other’s company even in the darkest of times.
A loving, trusting, caring, and respectful partner can make anyone happy in a marriage, be it a man or a woman. Remember that no matter how many expensive gifts you buy for someone, if they do not feel loved and respected in the relationship, they will never be happy in it.