Amidst booming years of speed dating and social media, the idea of love marriage has had significant challenges, especially the “Log kya kaheingey” factor?
Let’s face it. India is still a place where arranged marriages get a roaring thumbs up and parents look forward to choosing the “perfect one” for their adult kids. In a scenario like this, it is not easy to tell the parents that you have already done what they were looking forward to doing with bated breath. You have already chosen the one and that person might love you to bits but in your parent’s eyes might not be the “perfect one”. So there you go. You have some convincing to do if you have to tie the knot with your chosen one.
Related Reading: How To Convince Parents For Love Marriage Without Hurting Them
5 Sure Shot Tips To Follow When You Are Talking About Love Marriage
So what should you do then? When it comes to the convincing part you cannot go wrong in any way. If you do, there’s a chance of your love life messing up forever. No worries. Here are our 5 sure shot tips that you should follow when you are talking to your own parents or even to the parents of the one you have chosen. Don’t forget to give us your feedback once the job is done.
1. Keep it practical
Honesty and loyalty are nice and all but when you want to have an everlasting impression on your to-be-partner’s parents about love marriages; security and stability are key tadka.
Use it proportionately without too much drama.
If you don’t have your own house, and Ambani like bank balance or even a most successful career – share your ambitions, career plans and give a timeline of things that you have planned and discussed with your to-be-partner to lead a fulfilling married life and you will walk the talk. They will be convinced you are focused and that’s what matters.
2. Assurance takes you miles
No, I am not advocating an idea to score daddies and mommies from a theatre, pawnshop, chor bazaar; no! That’s a cliché in 2020. No kidding! What I meant was; connect with close relatives and friends and gain their confidence and trust by coincidently meeting them at the mall, religious hangout places, marathons or even at the nearest SBI (because the place is like a crystal maze); some might still wonder how to do so? Well, ideally without using a calculator or Google but simply by planning with your ‘partner-in-prime’.
Have a conversation with relatives/friends of parents and genuinely show sincerity and friendliness that assures them that you are not a serial-killer; even though you may seem like one from certain angles (perhaps on Mondays or during month ending).
3. Clarity of mutual plans
Refrain from giving out social media followers to parents initially; rather share professional, personal, financial, social and other even Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham or Hum Saath Saath Hai goals such as having mutual respect within families and giving space; sorry – both qualities may not last forever, hence in a nutshell, show intent, discuss as a team and listen as a team; don’t go enthu-cutlets like opportunist politicians during television debates.
4. Invest time, listen actively
Simple survival techniques that are likely to have a higher success rate anywhere in the world are to assess the situation, observe and reflect.
Regardless of differences such as culture, caste, religion, faith, language, sexual orientation or even social status; always know that kindness, love, respect and patience are powerful qualities (not exclusively TEDx speakers’ qualities) that bind relations from thick to thin phases of life. Meeting parents during festivals helps to build a healthy rapport and festivity has a sense of togetherness that a couple can use as a chance to know each other’s traditions, rituals and cultures.
Related Reading: Love Marriage In India: 10 Reasons Why It’s Successful
5. Act your age, feed egos responsibly
Thing is – love marriage is like cracking a deal between two different families and it might go helter-skelter if not handled with care (no shit ACP Pradhyuman). If a girl’s younger brother doesn’t like you; you can’t help it. Pay attention to those who matter and understand that less is more; please understand and accept that these parents and relatives of your to-be-partner don’t know you well – maintain a warm smile and look interested nonetheless.
Now, sit back and visualize spending the rest of your life with that special person. And always remember; some things are meant to be …others are, not! Take it as it comes, perhaps ‘easier said than done (in some cases)’ but even take rejections gracefully. It’s a massive universe out there and believes there’s always someone who is longing to see you smile, enjoy and celebrate life as it’s meant to be – so be; love yourself too!