“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope,” said celebrated American author-poet Maya Angelou. While love does make the world go round, interestingly enough the opposite is true for India. If one were to go by the statistics despite close to 90% of Indian marriages being arranged in India, as per a Vice article on February 2019, only 5% of marriages in India are love marriages. So where does love marriage in India stand?
Meanwhile, in a study done in 2014 by UNPF & International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) study on 9205 men and 3158 women from 7 states of India between the age group of 18-49, it was found that of the total respondents only 11.7% men and 8.5% women said they chose their partners with or without the consent of their families.
Today many youngsters and even mature folk are exploring love in their own way despite the sanctions and pressures put on love by modern society. Love marriage is becoming increasingly popular in India despite the challenges it faces against traditional values and societal pressures. So what makes love marriage so beautiful and strong?
10 Reasons why love marriage in India is successful
Knowing each other before tying the knot is a huge advantage. Most people who have opted for love marriage will tell you. There are other things that work too. Those are listed below.
1. Shared values
Couples in a love marriage have more knowledge and understanding of each other and their backgrounds. This makes them accept each other’s differences and embrace the similarities. Also, it is seen that couples with a set of shared value system are preferring love marriages as they rate this aspect higher than shared religion, languages, social mores and cultures in many cases.
2. Better understanding, knowledge of one another
In a love marriage, a couple has knowledge and understanding of each other beforehand.
This makes the first few years of marriage much easier as compared to an arranged marriage. Being privy to each other’s personalities, this couple has chosen to marry each other, which makes them come into the marriage with an informed decision.
3. Adjustments become easier
A couple’s prior knowledge from their dating days ensures that they have an understanding of each other’s personality, character, likes and dislikes.
While this does not spell success but the couple already has tools to work on challenges that may arise in their marriage based on this prior understanding and knowledge of their partner from before the marriage.
This gives you more amicable and creative ways to deal with each other.
4. More give and take of culture
Increasingly India is seeing interfaith and inter-caste love marriages taking place between people belonging to a completely different background and tradition. So in order to bond better with the other, there is a melding of cultures and traditions so that there is give and take. This way both partners feel equally represented in the relationship these days.
5. Less parental pressure
In an Indian marriage, two families come together. In an arranged marriage since the lead is taken by parents, they tend to have a say in the marriage which puts additional pressure on the newly married couple.
6. Partners have each other’s back
Since love marriages in our society have to face a lot of pressures initially before it culminates into a marriage, the relationship becomes stronger as a result. This also builds trust which ideally should make them each other’s strongest allies in any given situation.
7. Intimacy is easier
As physical attraction and mental bonding drive a love marriage, partners do not have to work hard to create that intimacy inside a bedroom.
Many couples these days tend to get physical before marriage and so are comfortable with each other’s bodies as compared to an arranged marriage where the couple has to put work into creating intimacy together.
8. You deal with each other’s negatives better
In a love marriage, both partners come from a place of knowledge of each other’s flaws and negatives. This makes them better equipped to deal with them. In comparison since it takes years to build understanding in an arranged marriage, the flaws of each other are revealed slowly over the years.
9. More freedom
As both partners know each other from before the marriage, there is more freedom for them to express their opinions and live life to the fullest. Partners feel that the relationship and later the marriage provides a safe haven for them to be themselves completely and live their most authentic life without any pretensions or secrets.
The arranged marriage vs love marriage debate
In the Arranged marriage vs. Love marriage debate, one edge that love marriage will always have is that it’s there from before the marriage while it takes some time to arrive at in an arranged one. Love can make many things smooth including personal or professional struggles. In an arranged marriage, the struggle can lead to a partner feeling short-changed or cheated post-marriage whereas in love marriage there is more acceptance of any curveballs life may throw at you. Love also ignites passion and romance, which is still in a trial and error mode in an arranged marriage.