Being in love and having the other person feel the same way about you is a beautiful journey. However, not all relationships last forever, and unfortunately, a lot of them result in breakups. No matter how long you have been together, heartbreaks are devastating. While you’re suffering from the pain of a broken heart, it’s only natural to wonder if your ex is also going through the same. Is he hurting too? Are there any signs he regrets hurting you? Do guys feel guilty for hurting you? And what exactly does he regret? Is he looking for signs he lost you?
Your mind may be racing with these endless questions and you will find yourself looking for ways to see the signs he is hurting after the breakup. Perhaps, you need to know for your own peace of mind or you want to know so that you can rekindle the relationship. But at times, no matter how much you want it, guys move on easily after a breakup and do not have any regrets.
On the other hand, it’s also possible that he may have hurt you and left you but eventually begins to regret hurting you. It’s not uncommon for guys to feel guilty and go out of their way to do things for you when they are remorseful about hurting you. Did he dump you? If he did, you might find signs of dumper’s remorse in his actions like drunk texting you or calling you on your birthday. If you pass by the coffee shop you used to frequent as a couple, you might see him sitting there alone. These are all classic signs a guy knows he messed up as well as signs your ex regrets dumping you.
When a guy feels guilty for hurting you, their guilt starts eating away at them and you will see a drastic change in his behavior. If you are wondering, “Will he regret losing me?”, look out for signs he is hurting after the breakup. He may start checking up on you more often, bring up the past or say how sorry he is. Sometimes guys just stay silent and it’s hard to decipher how they feel inside. No matter how he behaves outwardly, some or the other signs he feels guilty for hurting you will manifest if he is remorseful about the way he treated you.
How Do You Know If Your Ex Regrets Breaking Up With You?
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So, how long does it take for a guy to regret breaking up with you? A day, weeks, or months? This entirely depends on how long and serious your relationship was. It also depends on what the issue was that caused the breakup. After the breakup, most guys will show you that the breakup hasn’t affected them at all, displaying signs he is not sorry for hurting you and that they are enjoying their new single life.
The differences in their lifestyle while dating and being single can be truly liberating in the first few weeks after ending a relationship. Therefore, the signs he is hurting after the breakup may not emerge immediately.
Your man will probably have a newfound love for social media and you will see more pictures of him partying and his “perfect life”. In fact, the way he’s going about living life to the fullest may make you feel like he’s moved on effortlessly, leaving you wondering, “Do guys feel guilty for hurting you?” or, “Will he regret breaking up with me? It really doesn’t look like it…”
After the literal and metaphorical hangover of his partying wears off, he will probably go MIA. This is among the first signs he regrets hurting you. He won’t text or call anyone much and he will go silent for some time. This is when the realities of your breakup will start hitting him and regret will kick in.
There would be signs that he knows he messed up and he knows he lost his mind, because he will start to send feelers through his friends. He wants you back in his life and will pull no stops in wooing you back after a breakup. Breakups are not easy, even for the ones who dump their partners. But if he regrets it, there will be signs he feels guilty for hurting you. And not just that, there will also be signs he is hurting after the breakup. For whatever reason a breakup happens, everyone does wonder whether it was the right call or not. That’s when the signs your ex regrets dumping you are the easiest to spot and you’ll be able to figure out do guys ever think about the girl they hurt.
Related Reading: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later?
9 Signs He Regrets Hurting You
He won’t let you know just yet that he feels guilty about hurting you. In all likelihood, he is expressing a flux of mixed emotions about hurting you and letting you go. These emotions can leave him too overwhelmed to come clean about his true feelings. Even when a guy knows he hurt you, he may not be upfront about it right from the beginning because he needs time to make sense of his emotions. At this point, you’ll probably think that the answer to the question buzzing in your brain — will he regret losing me? — is a big, ‘No.’ However, that may not really be the case.
Perhaps, he wants to get back together with you. Perhaps, he wanted both of you to move on at first but he regrets the breakup now. These conflicting thoughts are among the many things about breakups that no one tells you about. So when the confusion and mixed feelings hit home, they can leave a person perplexed.
You will not get a direct answer from him, so you will need to look for signs that will tell you that he regrets hurting you. If he was the one who called it quits, there will be signs of dumper’s remorse, he may wans concrete signs he knows he lost you and hope that he still has a chance. The biggest clue of all is that to everyone around, he will even show signs that he is still in love with his ex, in this case — you. What are these signs exactly? We’ve decoded the state of your man’s mind in these 9 key signs he is hurting after the breakup and regrets letting go of you:
1. He will be quieter than usual
You will notice that he is more quiet than usual. It is understandable that after a breakup the conversation between you guys will reduce, but you will notice that he converses less and less with your mutual friends as well. This is because a guy hurts more after a breakup and has a harder time moving on. It’s one of the signs he is hurting after the breakup.
Now, it does not necessarily mean that his social life will come to a halt. He may put on an act of having a good time. Guys are usually good at suppressing their feelings and putting on a show in public. But when you look closely, you will be able to tell that their smiles aren’t genuine and their laughs aren’t real. When you ask him why he does not seem to be enjoying himself, he will make excuses and blame it on sleep or other issues. Chances are that his guilt and regret are stopping him from truly enjoying himself. When a guy feels guilty for hurting you these will be some of the giveaway signs he regrets losing you.
2. He checks on you more than usual
One of the signs a guy knows he messed up and wants to make it up to you is that he’d suddenly become the epitome of empathy and compassion. Even after your breakup, he will be worried about you and will constantly call you and message you to make sure you are okay.
In the early stages of the breakup, he might not reach out to you directly but will ask your best friends for updates. You will be confused by his behavior because if he truly cared about you so much then why did he end things with you. Remember that when you ask yourself, “Does he regret breaking up with me? Is this a sign he regrets hurting me?“ You have your answer right here. His guilt is making him realize his mistake and he regrets hurting you. He wants to check up on you to see how you are coping with the situation.
This is a sign that he knows he messed up and can’t just tell you that on your face. Neither can he get out of the habit of staying in touch with you all day. That’s why he tries to connect constantly with some pretext or another. And if this is what he is doing, you’ve got your answer to the question, ‘will he regret breaking up with me?’ If frequent check-ins are a sign of remorse, then what are?
Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs Your Partner Is Going To Break Up With You Soon
3. He shows he is too happy
He will make a big show to everyone about how much he enjoys being single again. He will post on social media and share posts about the perks of his new single life. When you see him, he will smile at you and talk as if nothing ever happened. He will behave as if he is the most optimistic person in the world. No matter what kind of a face he is putting on for the world, one day he will regret losing you and it will show.
Never have his friends seen him this way. He will keep talking about how great everything is and how light he feels. His behavior might actually leave you speechless — when will he realize he made a mistake? If he is enjoying life to the fullest, how is it among the signs he is heartbroken over you, you ask? Analyze his behavior closely, and you’ll have your answer.
This happiness will be so extreme that it will be easy for you to see through it and realize how fake it is. It might actually seem as if he’s going out of his way to give out signs he is not sorry for hurting you. If someone asks him about the breakup, he might talk about it for a few seconds and then change the topic to something happier because he has not fully accepted how much guilt and regret he feels.
Not talking about it is a sign that he knows he messed up and he really regrets hurting you. When a guy feels guilty for hurting you, it gives him pain when the topic of your breakup is brought up and he can’t bring himself to talk about it.
4. He can’t stop showing up
At what point do guys feel guilty for hurting you? He may have been carrying the guilt and regret around for a long time but it’s only when he has had a chance to work through his conflicting emotions will you see a change in his behavior. One such change is that he will look for reasons and excuses to be around you.
Whether it’s a common friend’s party or any small get-together, he will find a way to be there. He will suddenly take an active interest in your friends and will want to insert himself in any plans that involve you. After a relationship, it is likely that you will have many mutual friends but if you find him showing up at events he would not normally be present at then this could mean he regrets losing you.
Sometimes you might even find him at your favorite spots like your regular restaurant or supermarket. He might even become a little bit of a stalker and show up outside your workplace or your home. It may seem like a strange coincidence but he knows your schedule and knows where to find you. These are some of the strongest signs a guy knows he messed up and signs he is hurting after the break up, but is it cute or creepy? That is for you to decide.
5. He will change for you
One of the biggest signs your ex regrets dumping you is that you will see a change in his actions and not just empty promises of being better. After all, actions do speak louder than words. He knows you inside out, and as a result, also knows ways to win you back. He won’t be direct with grand romantic gestures, but his actions will make it clear that he knows he lost his mind and he wants you back.
When you both were in a relationship you might have told him to quit smoking or maybe you told him to stop wearing his favorite shoes that you found comical. You both probably even fought about this but there was no change in his behavior. All of a sudden you will notice that he is taking all your criticism into consideration and is a completely different person.
Though these gestures may be sweet, they won’t fix what was wrong with the relationship. But these are sure-shot signs he feels guilty for hurting you. At the very least, it could be a promising start to a new beginning for your love story, provided that’s what you want as well.
6. He will find ways to talk to you
Do men regret breaking up? Do guys feel guilty for hurting you? Do guys ever think about the girl they hurt? If so, what are the signs he is hurting after the breakup? You may have found yourself losing sleep over these questions in the initial days after the breakup. However, when a guy knows he hurt you and is ready to take responsibility for it, this veil of ambiguity will be life.
Your ex-boyfriend is probably extremely guilt-ridden at the moment. He regrets losing you and despite trying to stay away from you he is unable to control his urges and he calls/texts you a lot. He ends up sending you emojis too. He probably feels that a heart-to-heart conversation will make you feel better and this, in turn, will make him feel better.
You will notice that he is very active on his phone and is having long conversations with you. He will reply to your messages in seconds, which is strange for a guy who has just broken up with you. He will call you or text you for little things and want your advice on everything, be it what to order for food today or which series to binge-watch.
This is his way of saying that even after the breakup, you mean something to him. He probably misses you. Now, it is for you to decide whether you miss your ex or miss being in love. If the answer is the former and your man is displaying all the signs he is heartbroken over you, it could be worth reconsidering a future with him.
7. He tries to make you laugh
Just because your relationship did not work out and he may have dumped you for some reason, it doesn’t mean that he stopped caring about you. He knows that you are very hurt because of the breakup and all he can think about is bringing back the joy in your life and making you your old self again.
One of the signs he is sorry for hurting you is that even if he knows that you two are not good for each other as romantic partners, he still cares about you. This care and concern is what makes him go above and beyond to make sure you’re not hurting. When a guy feels guilty for hurting you, more than anything, they want to bring the smile back to your face.
He will crack jokes, make you laugh, and even try to cheer you up with your favorite food. You will see him going out of his way to bring you back to your cheerful and happy self. These are signs your ex regrets dumping you. You can find happiness again after a failed relationship.
8. He apologizes
Do guys feel guilty for hurting you? You will know the answer to this question when he offers a heartfelt apology for his actions. He feels sorry for hurting you. Eventually, he will open up to you and share his true feelings with you. He will tell you how sorry he is for hurting you and breaking your heart.
Some men might take time to apologize when they feel guilty about something. But eventually, their apology will be genuine and you will be able to see how sorry they feel for their mistakes. He will tell you about his thoughts and feelings since the breakup and will ask for your forgiveness. He possibly regrets the breakup and wants another chance. Whether to forgive him or not is your call.
But he will tell you that he regrets losing you and the time away from you has given him the perspective he had been seeking. He could tell you he realized that his life is empty and meaningless without you. These are signs he is hurting after the breakup. But have you moved on? It’s up to you how you want to deal with it.
If you also follow the Zodiac and are curious about how different sun signs handle relationships, such as “Will a Sorpio man regret losing me?” or “How does a Taurean handle the end of a relationship?”, the signs a guy knows he messed up, up pretty similar. Of course, there might be certain stereotypical reactions from certain Zodiac personalities, but quite a few signs he regrets losing you might be similar across the board.
Related Reading: Men vs Women – 5 Differences In How They Handle A Breakup
9. He will want to get back with you
An ex who regrets breaking up with you will feel sorry for his actions and some part of him will tell him that he needs to fix this. But if he is talking only about his feelings, then he is showing selfish boyfriend signs. Beware! Sometimes his way of fixing things will be by trying to get you back. Feeling regret for hurting you is one of the worst things he feels right now and one of the ways for him to ease the pain is to try to win you back.
His guilt and regret may be because he is still in love with you and can’t bear the fact that you won’t be in his life. Maybe it’s time for you to forgive. He will tell you how wrong he was by breaking up with you. You need to reflect on your relationship and see if you want to get back with him. Only if you feel the relationship is worth saving.
It is normal for people who initiated the breakup to feel regret. Feelings for one another just don’t vanish with the breakup. The person who initiates the breakup feels like they owe it to the other to fix things. He regrets breaking up with you because he still cares for you and is doubting his decision to end the relationship. So if you’re trying to piece together the signs to answer the question, “Do guys ever think about the girl they hurt?”, they answer is, “Yes, they do.” And that’s when they might pull out all te stops to woo you again.
However, this might not always be the case. You need to be smart about being able to distinguish between genuine concern your ex might have for you and him wanting to get back together with you. If he says that he wants to get back together with you, ask yourself whether it is a good idea and whether the problems in your relationship can really be fixed. Then only take your decision.
And stay away from the break-up-sex. That will only complicate matters and confuse the both of you. It might scare him, making him shut himself away from you or stop communicating, leaving you wondering if these are signs he regrets sleeping with you. And that’s another messy head-space you don’t want to be in, right?
Remember, you need to put yourself first. If you have been hurt and fear you might be hurt again, put the no-contact rule in place and block him on social media — these are some of the signs he knows he lost you. However, when a guy feels guilty for hurting you and he is doing all he can to show you that he really cares for you, misses you and wants to make amends, give him a chance if you feel it’s worth it. But do lay down the ground rules. You are in the driver’s seat to steer with care.
FAQs
After a breakup, a guy might take some time to realize what he has done. He could realize he has messed up and may suffer from dumper’s remorse. You might wonder what does he regret? Well, when he knows what he has lost, he would regret hurting you.
We wouldn’t tell you to be vengeful because it never works. There are ways to make him regret not choosing you but if we had our way we would rather move on and not look back. Karma finds its way — one day he will regret losing you. Trust us.
A man would regret losing you only if you are successful in maintaining the no-contact rule. Stay away from him, don’t message or call, soon reality will hit him and he will regret losing you. This could be within a few weeks or within months of your breakup.
Most often they do. When their girl is around them, they might call her clingy and say they want their own space and their old life back. But when she is not there, they realize what they have lost.
