Narcissus, the young man who was so consumed by his own reflection in the water pond, fell and drowned in it. Did he not have any friends or perhaps a lover to make him realise of the world around him? Can someone be so consumed by the love for themselves that they do not realise how poisonous it can get in the long term? Narcissists can’t maintain intimate, long lasting relationships, primarily because they are left with no energy to love anyone else other than themselves.
7 Reasons why narcissists can’t maintain an intimate relationship
Narcissists can’t look beyond themselves. Their world revolves around themselves and they cannot think of anything beyond that. Their own looks, achievements, importance, ego are always the priority. That’s why the sharing, sacrifice, nurturing that is needed for a close relationship is hard for them to do. Now wonder they are incapable of intimate relationships.
1. A narcissist has no friends
A narcissist usually grows up as a loner. He/she has no friends and even if they do, most of them are only at a superficial level who can be called as acquaintances. Relationship management is taught by one’s friendships in the early teens.
Sadly, most narcissists, do not befriend many because they rarely find anyone worth their friendship. It is only therefore evident that such people are extremely poor at displaying their emotions or caring for others.
No wonder then, that when they grow up, they are not able to have an intimate relationship.
2. Too full of themselves
Narcissists are too full of themselves. In an argument with their lover, they often do not apologise. They are comfortable with living alone should their partner decide to stop talking with them. In such cases, how can one expect to have an intimate relationship? They are unapologetically more in love with themselves and hence their ‘I am the best’ mindset sets them on a turbulent ride when it comes to matters of love.
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3. A narcissist is self-obsessed
These are the people who have very little time for others. Not because of their busy work schedules or chores but because of their self-obsession. They make even the tiniest of their issues bigger than the real issues of their partners. They always focus on their own success or failures with very little scope left for their partners to share theirs. As time passes by, their partners start disliking the importance that they put on themselves, than focusing on ‘we’.
4. Narcissists have no empathy
It’s ‘I, me and myself’ for such people. Their ability to empathise is equal to nil. They can’t ever put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
In order to connect emotionally with your spouse, it is very important to understand your better half. Unfortunately, narcissists lack this trait completely.
5. Arrogance and attitude
Can you imagine having an intimate relationship with a person full of attitude and arrogance? Which partner would like to be treated as a second hand product? Narcissists are arrogant people. There is a thin line between being proud of yourself and being arrogant and snobbish about it. Due to such traits, relationships fall apart and narcissists remain unaffected. They think no end of themselves and therefore never compromise, settle for less or give up.
6. Always want praise
Narcissistic people always want to be at the receiving end of all the praises. They would want credit for everything. In an effort to fulfill their own need to look the best, they end up hurting their partner’s emotions.
7. Expect a lot from their partners
Their expectations from their partners can sometimes be unrealistic. This puts a lot of stress on their partners and soon their relationship is taken over by tension. They want to maintain a certain image in the society for themselves and make sure that their entire energy is directed to this outcome and not the relationship itself.
Loving oneself is necessary, but overdoing it has many consequences. As emotional and intelligent beings, we should be in a position to give the same amount of love, respect, care and attention as much as we seek ourselves.