13 Signs She Is A High-maintenance Girl And Tips To Date Her

Dating experience | | , Writer
Updated On: January 22, 2024
High-maintenance girl

Dating a high-maintenance girl can be an intriguing journey. At first glance, you might see her as the epitome of perfection – impeccably dressed, flawless manicures, and an Instagram account that seems straight out of a dream. She’s confident in her desires and knows exactly how she envisions her life. You might have thought she’s your ideal match. However, after a few months of dating, you come to realize that maintaining such a level of perfection demands time, effort, and resources.

In this article, we’ll guide you through these nuances of dating a high-maintenance woman, helping you determine if this is the right path for you. If it is, we’ll explore how to create a compatible and fulfilling relationship with a high-maintenance girl. In the end, love transcends boundaries, and we aim to help you discover the common ground where your connection can flourish.

Dating A High-maintenance Woman Vs. Low-maintenance Woman

A Reddit user says, “My ex-fiancé said to me, “I’ve always wanted a low-maintenance girlfriend”, at the beginning of our 4-year long dance from hell, and as a dumb 19-year-old I took it as “Wow, I must not be that crazy as a girlfriend!” Well, it turns out that my ex’s idea of “low-maintenance” was more like “I barely have to interact with you or make time for you and you’ll be okay with it.” Because if I wasn’t okay with it, I was too needy or not giving him space.

“So I would go along with it to be the “chill girlfriend”. I started to feel like I was a crazy high-maintenance shrew because everything I asked for, like spending more time with me, helping me with things, setting aside more time with me, would start fights where I would just end up feeling like a nag.”

On the other hand, another user talks about dating a low-maintenance woman, “Isn’t super clingy and is generally independent. She adds to your life, doesn’t make things a hassle for you. Doesn’t expect to be taken care of. Has a we mindset rather than a me mindset.” A user shares, “You don’t have to text her for 18 hours a day to make sure you two are still a couple. I used to do this when I was younger, but now I kind of dislike texting. I don’t need to talk to my SO every moment of the day to know she’s still there.”

Dating a high-maintenance person may often feel like embarking on a luxurious rollercoaster ride. You’ll enjoy fancy dinners, lavish gifts, and impeccable style. But hold on tight, because there’s a price tag attached. High-maintenance partners can be demanding when it comes to efforts in a relationship, with high expectations from your time and wallet.

On the flip side, dating a low-maintenance woman is generally deemed as a relaxing day at the beach. It’s all about simplicity and enjoying the little moments in life. She’s often easygoing and appreciates the simple joys, like a picnic in the park or a cozy night in. Less stress, more chill – it can be a delightful adventure! 

So, now that we’ve caught a glimpse of some experiences related to this topic, let us get a clearer idea of what most people usually classify as a high-maintenance versus low-maintenance woman in romantic relationships.

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AspectHigh-maintenance WomanLow-maintenance Woman
DefinitionSeeks greater love, affection, and possessionsValues simplicity, content with what is necessary and joyful
Needs and wantsDemands may be higher than the averageAppreciates the little things in life
Material desiresMay desire and expensive lifestyle and giftsPrefers practicality to extravagance
Emotional intimacyMay require more reassurance and attentionValues trust and connection
Effort in relationshipDemands more effort in a relationshipRelationship tends to be more relaxed
Financial compatibilityIt may take a lot to afford her lifestyleAligns well with responsible spending
IndependenceLikes being taken care of and may know she is worthy of the “princess treatment”Values self-sufficiency and independence
Social activitiesMay lean toward luxury experiencesEnjoys simple activities like Netflix & chill
Communication styleExpresses needs and desires more directly to partners with strong opinionsRelatively easygoing and adaptable while communicating with partners
Career and ambitionsHas an incredibly strong focus on her personal careerGenerally, not a fan of the hustle culture and pursues individual goals with practicality

Related Reading: Fixing a Toxic Relationship – 21 Ways To Heal TOGETHER

13 Signs She Is A High-maintenance Girl

The high-maintenance woman meaning can be different for different people. Keep in mind that people’s preferences and expectations vary in the dating scenario, and what might be high-maintenance to one person could be completely normal to another. Even so, there are certain behavior traits and expectations that are universally accepted as high-maintenance. Drawing on those, let’s take a look at the traits that might help you identify if your girl leans toward being high-maintenance:

1. Not a big fan of ordinary dates (yes, she prefers candlelit dinners and luxury vacations)

Low-key dates and at-home date nights are not her cup of tea. She believes in experiencing the finer things in life and expects her partner to treat her to the best. People who don’t know her well may label her as a self-absorbed woman. However, she knows that being open-minded about one’s happiness isn’t a bad thing. If you need to know how to handle such a situation, here are 3 handy tips:

  • Balance the extravagance. Embrace occasional simple dates to enjoy quality time together without the glitz and glamor
  • Candlelit dinners, classy clubs, and exquisite getaways are more her style. If you want to make her day, you may go ahead with these options as long as they do not put a strain on your finances and make you feel like her errand boy
  • If you like a low-maintenance life, you’ll constantly feel like she’s high-maintenance. So, discuss financial expectations earlier to avoid financial infidelity and ensure both partners are comfortable with the date plans
High maintenance girlfriend
If she’s high-maintenance, this will cheer her up

2. She values her appearance and self-care

Many individuals, regardless of their maintenance style, appreciate taking care of themselves. However, for some high-maintenance women, their appearance is like an expressive canvas. They love to invest in their self-care routine. Their makeup is on point, they carefully select outfits that make them feel confident, and they embrace their style with grace ­— these are things high-maintenance women do and if you’re in a relationship with one, you’ll have to find a way to make peace with it.

Related Reading: How To Get Your Partner To Open Up To You: 8 Tips That Actually Work!

3. She’s got some high standards in dating

When a high-maintenance girl chooses to be with you, it’s a testament to your compatibility and the qualities she sees in you. It’s a beautiful reminder that you’re someone she considers truly special. This is because high-maintenance queens often have high standards in relationships. They have an eye for quality, and that naturally extends to their choice of partner. Here are a few signs of a strong woman in a relationship that you need to know:

  • She seeks a partner who shares her values, interests, and aspirations, aiming for deep connection signs built on common ground
  • She expects mutual respect and healthy communication, as she understands that a relationship thrives on understanding and empathy
  • What is a high-maintenance woman? One who is drawn to people who are driven and ambitious, as she believes partners in a romantic relationship should support each other’s growth
  • She looks for someone who can provide emotional intimacy and security in a relationship

4. She loves it when all eyes are on her

The low-maintenance relationship meaning boils down to a partnership that requires minimal effort and attention. However, when you’re dating a high-maintenance girl, she loves it when you’re fully engaged, giving her your undivided attention in a relationship. Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a casual night in, she thrives on feeling cherished and seen. These are some of the traits of a high-maintenance person.

However, if this turns into a toxic relationship trait and you resonate with the following points, please have an open conversation with your partner:

  • “My girlfriend expects too much from me. This is why I wanted to avoid a high-maintenance woman.”
  • “My girlfriend is too much to handle. She constantly craves attention, and my relationship feels suffocating.”
  • “My girlfriend gets mad when I hang out with friends and don’t spend every second with her. It’s like I’m in an emotionally draining relationship.”
  • “I find my high-maintenance girlfriend always complaining that I don’t give her enough attention.”

5. She elevates your ambitions and inspires you to be a go-getter 

Wondering about high-maintenance meaning or looking for high-maintenance woman signs? Here’s your answer: being with a high-maintenance woman may inspire you to reach new heights! Yes, her pursuit of excellence will inspire you, encouraging you to push your limits. Just remember, while aiming high is fantastic, maintaining a balance between ambition and enjoying the present moment is equally crucial.

6. She may prefer fancy and practical gifts to sentimental ones

While some high-maintenance women may lean toward practical gifts over sentimental ones, it’s important to remember that preferences vary. For some, receiving the best gadgets that enhance their daily routine might hold more significance than a heartfelt note. However, it’s essential to have open communication about your feelings if a particular gift choice leaves you feeling hurt or unappreciated. 

For instance, you surprise your high-maintenance girlfriend with a homemade gift, assuming she’d appreciate it. Instead, she expresses a preference for a spa day or a weekend getaway. You wonder if she’s exhibiting red flags commonly associated with demanding women. In such a situation, calmly communicate your intention behind the gift while also understanding her desire for experiences that bring relaxation and joy.

7. Her self-esteem is unshakable

She doesn’t keep worrying, “What do guys think of high-maintenance women?” She’s got high self-esteem. She’s self-assured and she knows she’s the best girl. Whether she enters a room or engages in a conversation, her magnetic confidence is palpable. So, if you’re looking for high-maintenance woman signs, an unshakeable self-esteem is the one to keep an eye out for. It is what defines high-maintenance girls.

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8. The list of her admirers is, well, endless

Oh, it’s no secret – her admirers (some of them may include her guy friends) are plenty! People may flock around her, mesmerized by her charm. They’re ready to take leaps for her attention. As her partner, this can be somewhat disconcerting for you. But you need to remind yourself that these are not signs of a spoiled woman. To handle this aspect of her personality well, be open-minded, dive deep into your own insecurities, and try to understand if you have enough trust in your relationship.

9. Upscale tastes, unapologetically

As we said, she’s got a taste for the finer things – grand restaurants, luxurious getaways, the latest gadgets – she doesn’t hold back. But here’s the twist: she’s not apologetic about it. She’s a go-getter, working hard to earn what she desires. Her ambition and self-sufficiency make her all the more remarkable. 

However, if her upscale tastes (in case you’re always asked to pay for it all or you feel like her errand boy) put a strain on your mental health and your financial situation, it is important to dive deeper. It is advisable to address this issue and look for solutions before you get into a committed relationship.

A Reddit user says, “The signs I usually look for are: was she a spoiled brat growing up? (Pretty easy to find out by consulting social media, but some also make it obvious whenever they open their mouth). Is she still a spoiled brat now (parents pay for her expenses and she complains about adulting all the time)?” Here are some questions that can help you ascertain whether what you’re dealing with can be classified as signs of a difficult woman:

  • Is she a Disney adult? 
  • Does she describe herself to you as a romantic? 
  • Does she have zero awareness about other people (she assumes everyone is as privileged as she is)? 
  • Does she know the value of a dollar? Or the value of an honest day’s work?
  • Is she classist/racist? (This is obviously bad for multiple reasons)
  • Does she subscribe to the idea that products are only worth buying if they convey status?
  • Does she have a superiority complex?
High maintenance woman signs
Be transparent about finances in your relationship

10. She’s bold about her desires

She’s the queen of communication. If she wants a kiss, she’ll say so – no beating around the bush. She knows how to communicate better with a partner. Honesty is her policy, and she expects the same from you. Some may feel these are the signs of a difficult woman or the signs of a spoiled woman. However, she knows she has every right to be bold about her desires. And honestly, it’s refreshing to be with someone who expresses their needs openly, making the relationship more transparent and exciting.

And what do guys think of high-maintenance women who do this? In some cases, especially if the guy does not want to put in any effort in the relationship, he may say:

  • “My girlfriend is a brat. I don’t want such a demanding girlfriend.”
  • “My girlfriend is too much to handle. She’s emotionally high-maintenance.” 
  • “I find my girlfriend always asking me to do things. This is why I wanted to avoid a high-maintenance woman.”
  • “My girlfriend doesn’t prioritize me and keeps focusing on her own desires.”

11. She’s a pro when it comes to detail-oriented organizing

Here’s a good way to define high-maintenance girls. You’ve entered her world, and it’s impeccably organized. These are a few areas where her organizational prowess may shine:

  • Closet perfection: Her wardrobe is a masterpiece of organization, with every item meticulously categorized and color-coded. You may find her effortlessly pulling out the right outfit for any occasion
  • Event planning: When she plans a weekend getaway or an adventurous date, every moment is thoughtfully curated. From restaurant reservations to activity schedules, she ensures that everything aligns seamlessly
  • Task lists: What is a high-maintenance woman? Her to-do lists are a work of art. She’s on top of every detail, making sure nothing falls through the cracks
  • Home decor harmony: Walk into her living space, and you’ll see a perfect blend of aesthetics and functionality. Every piece of furniture, artwork, and decor has been carefully chosen to create an inviting ambiance
  • Travel itineraries: She researches destinations, creates comprehensive itineraries, and plans well to ensure a smooth and memorable travel experience

These are just some of the things high-maintenance women do to build a high-value life. While her knack for organization is truly commendable, remember that a touch of spontaneity and flexibility can infuse even more vibrancy into your relationship. Embrace the joy of unplanned moments that allow you both to enjoy each other’s company without the pressure of meticulous plans.

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12. She graciously accepts compliments without downplaying them

One clear sign that she’s a high-maintenance girl is her ability to accept compliments gracefully. The absence of low self-esteem in a relationship is a driving force in how she responds to praise. It reflects her confidence in her own value. Here are a few scenarios that illustrate this skill:

  • When someone admires her outfit or hairstyle, she simply smiles and thanks them
  • If someone acknowledges her achievements, she acknowledges their words with a genuine “thank you”. She’s confident in her abilities and doesn’t undermine her accomplishments
  • If someone praises her kindness, intelligence, or other positive traits, she accepts the compliment without brushing it off
  • Whether it’s a skill she’s mastered or a talent she possesses, she acknowledges the compliments and other things related to her abilities without diminishing her own prowess

13. She’s driven by goals

She’s not content with mediocrity or other things that appear satisfactory. Instead, she may set ambitious goals and work diligently to achieve them. Whether it’s excelling in her career, pursuing personal passions, or making a positive impact on her community, she’s committed to making her mark.

dating tips

How To Deal With A High-Maintenance Girl

“I’m sorry. You’re not easy-going, but you’re passionate, and that’s good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I’m pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that’s good, too. So, they can say that you’re high-maintenance, but it’s okay because I like…maintaining you,” Chandler tells Monica. In this way, if you both can navigate the unique dynamics of her high-maintenance traits while maintaining your own sense of self, your relationship has the potential to thrive.

However, if at any point you feel overwhelmed or compromised, don’t hesitate to reassess and have an honest conversation about your needs and expectations. After all, the most beautiful bonds are built on mutual growth, respect, genuine connection, and communication in a relationship. To make things easier, if you find yourself attracted to a high-maintenance girl and decide to pursue a relationship, here’s how you can ensure a healthy journey together:

Related Reading: Transparency In Relationships: Meaning, How To Show & Some Secret Tips

  • Respect individuality: Understand that her high-maintenance traits are a part of who she is. Avoid labeling her as a demanding girlfriend or saying, “My girlfriend is a brat.” Instead, if you truly want to spend time with her or build a relationship with her, respect her preferences, whether they’re about appearance, lifestyle, or attention
  • Open communication: If you think that your partner exhibits relationship red flags, or you feel her demands are affecting your mental health or personal growth, initiate an open conversation. Share your feelings and concerns calmly, without trying to belittle her
  • Mutual growth: A relationship should encourage both individuals to grow. Ensure that your personal growth is not compromised by trying to meet her demands at the expense of your own aspirations
  • Avoid being bossy: Trying to control or boss her around will only create friction or an abusive relationship in the long run. Instead, approach discussions with empathy, respect, and understanding
  • Healthy boundaries: Establish boundaries that work for both of you. This can help manage expectations and avoid unnecessary conflicts
  • Celebrate differences: Embrace the differences that you both bring into the relationship. A high-maintenance partner can add excitement, while your perspective can offer balance
  • Shared experiences: Find activities that you both enjoy. These shared experiences and hobbies for couples to feel closer can strengthen your bond and help you connect beyond materialistic concerns
  • Relationship counseling: If you like a low-maintenance life, you may constantly feel like she’s high-maintenance. Try relationship or premarital counseling for better alignment and growth 
  • Honesty is key: Be honest about what you can and cannot provide. It’s better to be upfront about your limitations and comfort zones than to create false expectations

Key Pointers

  • A high-maintenance woman, meaning someone who has specific and often demanding expectations in various aspects of life, applies the same standards to her relationships as well
  • When you date a high-maintenance girl, you’ll notice she’s bold about her desires, driven by her ambitions, has a sense of unshakeable self-esteem, and doesn’t settle for less
  • While dating such a woman, understand that her high-maintenance traits are part of her unique personality, initiate open conversations about finances and personal growth, and try some hobbies for couples to feel closer and connect beyond materialistic concerns
  • If you decide to pursue a relationship with such a person, be honest and transparent about what you can and cannot provide, and what you expect from the relationship

In a world full of labels and assumptions, a high-maintenance girl is so much more than what meets the eye. Beyond the superficial misconceptions, her allure lies in her unwavering confidence, unapologetic self-expression, and ambition to live life on her own terms. So, keep those honest conversations flowing, respect her quirks, and appreciate what she brings into your life. As you walk alongside her, remember that her high standards reflect a desire for the extraordinary – be it in her experiences, her connections, or her love story with you!

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Readers Comments On “13 Signs She Is A High-maintenance Girl And Tips To Date Her”

  1. High Maintenance equals high expenses, a wise man once said ,Reekay Valez, ” don’t ever give your girlfriend wife money”, think about that Gents, .
    In my opinion, even IF a man has bank, is that the kind of worthwhile investment to make?
    Is being used a good feeling? Let’s all reconsider OUR motives .


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