Infidelity comes in many forms, and often is the most challenging problem for a marriage. If your wife is sneaking on you and being unfaithful, she would be giving you subtle, but quite clear signs. You cannot miss these signs of a cheating wife if you are just a little careful.
When you take your marriage vows in front of the priest, you promise to be with each other “till death do us part”. But, what if much before death, there is another person that does you part? What will you do if you find out that you are in a marriage of three? A marriage is built on two pillars: trust and commitment. But how can you trust her when she is committed to another? All those years of togetherness start to feel like a lie. She doesn’t just cheat on you; she cheats on your marriage too!
Maybe after all, there’s no happily ever after.
“You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn’t just break my heart; you broke our future.”
According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, statistics on cheating wives indicate that 15% of married women have extramarital affairs. A study in The Journal of Sex Research reveals that women are most likely to cheat between six to ten years of a relationship.
In her book, Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson says, “Cheating is easy. There’s no swank to infidelity. To borrow against the trust someone has placed in you costs nothing at first. You get away with it. You take a little more and a little more until there is no more to draw on. Oddly, your hands should be full with all that taking, but when you open them there’s nothing there.”
Is my wife having an affair?
Men make silent sacrifices for their marriage by sacrificing their time to make a living for the family. As a result, they become physically and emotionally distant from their wives. Women, craving emotional solace, try to fill the void with something else or maybe someone else. They start having an emotional affair with someone who is emotionally available for them and this in turn sometimes results in physical intimacy too.
There is no single reason for cheating. There could be many and some signs tell you to believe that you have fallen prey to a cheating wife.
In the age of hundreds of apps at your fingertips, it is difficult to understand whether your wife is cheating on you or not because the evidence is just a password or a delete button away. Your wife could be cheating on you digitally (through online dating), emotionally or physically. It could be a bit of all too. Confronting her without evidence is a bad idea. It’s better to look out for signs of infidelity before accusing her of something she might not be guilty of.
18 signs of an unfaithful cheating wife
You may have accidentally read some suspicious texts, found some irregularities in her phone bill, saw her talking to someone who should have been you or maybe it was your gut that was telling you to look for signs of an affair. There are many physical signs your wife is cheating that serve as definite warnings – but you need to pay attention. Here 18 cheating wife signs to look out for to know for sure that your wife is cheating on you.
Related reading: Reasons why women have extramarital affairs
1. She starts acting distant
Something suddenly starts feeling “off” about her. She is physically present but is lost in her thoughts, or maybe in her guilt. You ask her what’s wrong but she won’t give a direct answer. Women are usually upfront about their thoughts and that’s why they nag at you so much. But a wife who is cheating would prefer to stay to herself and not give you much, even if prompted.
When everything suddenly turns cold, that’s when you need to worry.
2. Her social life has become ‘too happening’
Hanging out often with friends isn’t a bad thing but hanging out with someone else in the name of your friends, means something is fishy. When your wife has too many plans with her friends that do not involve you, then it’s something to think about. She could be a lying wife trying to use her friends as a cover for the new person in her life. A cheating wife is careful and smart, so you need to be a step ahead of her.
Is it really a girl’s night out or a romantic rendezvous with her lover? You will have to find out discreetly.
3. Her phone is always busy
No matter when you call, you will always find her phone busy. When you ask her, she will take some friend’s name. Was she always so involved with her friends or is this something new that is going on? At times, she may even go into another room to talk when you are nearby. What conversation is so private that cannot be had in front of you? Or does she keep her phone upside down so that you cannot see the screen when it buzzes? Sounds fishy, doesn’t it?
4. She cringes every time you are near her phone
Whenever her phone rings in front of you, she jumps up to take the call before you see who it is from. She has suddenly started setting passwords on her phone, which she would never do. She acts funny when you are near her phone. If you ask her to lend you her phone even for five minutes, she will find some excuse to get out of it.
A person who is cheating would be terrified to share their phones, even if it is for something as trivial or casual as clicking a photograph.
5. Her web history is always erased
You see your wife spending most of her time on her phone or her computer, both modes which she uses for frequent communication. When you check her Web history, you find it all deleted. You check her computer out again, after a few days and still find everything erased. She wipes out all her activities, logs off from all the accounts and there is an air of deception around.
Why press the delete button when there is nothing to hide?
6. You start having a lot of fights
Your wife starts nagging you for small and insignificant things. It is as if she is finding a way to fight with you. It could be because she is just mad at you for something else or because she is trying to show herself why this marriage cannot be saved and is trying to justify the affair. It is a way for her to feel less guilty and justify her actions. Cheating spouses often find ways to justify their actions and indicate cheater’s guilt.
Cheating is a legal and moral offence. No reason can justify it.
7. Your sex life has turned cold
When a woman starts having a physical relationship with someone, she doesn’t feel like sleeping with any other man. If your wife is having a physical affair with someone else, she will not feel like being sexually involved with you. You don’t turn her on anymore. All her sex drives are now driven towards her new lover. You don’t play a role in her sex life anymore. If you have had an active sex life before the affair, you would notice that your wife now refuses to have sex on one pretext or another.
You both have literally become the married couple that never has sex.
8. She has made a ‘new friend’
Did she tell you about her ‘new friend’ Michelle that you have never met? She loves talking about her and going out with her. It seems that the two of them have become pretty close in a short span. The name often drops in conversations, especially when she needs to go out. Ever wondered why you haven’t met this ‘new friend’?
Is this new friend really a Michelle or a Michael?
Related reading: She cheated on him and now fears he might have a counter affair
9. She doesn’t look too happy
You don’t make her happy anymore. You give her surprises and bring her presents but it doesn’t seem to light her up. She is always lost in her own thoughts and she doesn’t want to share things with you anymore. You call her friends to ask them but you don’t find out much about it. Talk to her and ask her upfront that yo have been smelling signs of a cheating wife. Tell her that you won’t be mad at her or judge her. See how she responds.
10. Her car mileage doesn’t match her stories
She tells you that she is going to meet a friend or is going grocery shopping. You check her car mileage only to see that it has gone much further that just the grocery store. She might give excuses of how she had to go to another store and got caught up there, but do you really buy that story?
11. She has started dressing up a lot
After the ‘honeymoon period’ of marriages, both partners pay less attention to their looks. There is no more this rush and excitement to look good every time. All of a sudden you find your wife dressing up the way she would on your initial dates. She dresses to kill and tells you that she is going out with her so-called ‘friends’.
Women like to dress up during the initial stages of their relationships and if she is dressing like that and going out with someone else, then you already know who it is she is doing it for.
12. Her shopping sprees have increased
You find a huge increase in her credit card bills. You see her buying all sorts of new outfits and more importantly, new lingerie. You find her with all new lingerie, but she doesn’t wear it in front of you. You find the tags cut off from the items, but you have never seen her wearing it.
It’s simple. The new lingerie wasn’t meant for you.
13. She has many mood swings
There are days when she is very happy and is very attentive to you, both emotionally and sexually. And then there are days when she will start shouting at you for no reason. You might think that your marriage issues are causing such behaviour. Your marriage has issues for sure, but these moods swings are because the ups and downs of her new relationship.
At times, she knows and understands she is doing wrong to she makes up to you. But then, her affair takes over her intentions.
14. There is something different about her scent
When two people are married for some time, they identify each other’s scent. You find your wife always ‘clean’ when you come home. She bathes so that you don’t sniff the scent of her new lover. But even then, on smelling her you will find that she smells a bit different from before.
15. She has developed new habits
When two people are in a relationship, they start developing each other’s habits and tastes. Does your wife too have new tastes that you never noticed before? If your wife is dating a smoker or an alcoholic then there are chances that he will pass them on to her as well.
Is your wife changing into someone you don’t recognise anymore?
16. She avoids eye contact with you
Your wife tries to avoid eye contact with you whenever she is having a conversation with you. It is her guilt that is reflecting in her eyes and she doesn’t want you to know about it. Try talking to her with eye contact and subtly ask her to do the same. Do you see the guilt in her eyes?
17. There are too many work emergencies
Working wives are more prone to having affairs with their co-workers. It is because they spend most of their day with these people and attraction sets in. If she is having an affair with her co-worker then she will always have a ‘work thing’. Was your wife always a workaholic or is this something new?
Have you ever visited her in her office to see what that work thing is?
18. Your gut is telling you so
After so many years of being married to your partner, somewhere deep down you know that your relationship has changed. You might think that you are being like those jealous and suspicious husbands, but it doesn’t feel like jealousy or suspicion. It feels like concern about your wife and your marriage. Your gut is telling you that your marriage is threatened and this is what is making you question your wife’s loyalty.
These cheating wife signs will put you in a fix. Your marriage is in danger and you don’t know whether you want to save it anymore. Not all marriages that involve infidelity have to end up doomed. The key to a long and happy marriage is forgiveness. Your partner could have had a ‘moment of weakness’ and has learnt her lesson. Think about how it would have been if you were the one cheating. How would she have reacted? It is up to you whether you are strong enough to forgive that moment of weakness for your marriage or end those vows altogether.