Couples and honesty
People often say that the first step of being in love with someone else is learning to love yourself. While that might or might not be true, it is a fact that only when you know yourself can you know what you need from someone else. So many people go through life not knowing exactly what or who they want. They skip from relationship to relationship, complaining about commitment issues and other troubles. But perhaps a lot of this would be solved if only we understood ourselves better. This way we would know exactly what is a deal-breaker in a relationship even before we get into one.
Knowing what pisses us off and what makes us happy, in the bedroom and in the world outside, is a pretty decent way to not only help you choose your partners better but also to make your relationships stronger. Don’t you think being honest with yourself can actually mean so much for your relationship? Well, here are five ways in which knowing yourself better helps understand your relationship too:
1. You fight less often
Do your fights often get dirty and involve a lot of door slamming and breaking of nice plates? But when you think about it, do you have trouble remembering what you were actually fighting about? To be honest, such things are not surprising when any or both of you don’t know exactly what you want or need. Something your partner did made you mad but you are not sure what it exactly was so you throw tantrums over other, minor things all the time. This, of course, makes you look bad. It gives your lover the impression that you are fickle and moody and self-centred while it is not at all the case. Which is why it is important to understand ourselves better and know exactly what set us off. This way you can address the real problems instead of getting pissed over whose turn it was to get more milk.
2. Being aware of your own insecurities builds trust
No one likes realising that they are being petty and insecure. So one often tends to take it out on the other person instead of actually questioning oneself. This kind of negative feeling only makes things worse. You find yourself checking your partner’s phone when they shower. You often wonder if they are out with someone else when they say they are working overtime. Such doubts often pave the way for self-destruction. So instead of being suspicious, you need to be more aware of what you are feeling and then try to find out why you feel this way. If that doesn’t help, communicate with your partner. After all, they promised to stay by your side always, didn’t they?
3. You begin to communicate better
When you are aware of your own needs and shortcomings, it is easier to deal with the person in front of you. You can be clearer about what you feel and how. Not only will this lessen confusion on each side but also build a stronger base for your relationship. No one came into this with a manual in hand, right? So the clearer things are on either side, the more solid your relationship will be.
4. You accept what you deserve and nothing less
Not knowing what we want and desire might mean we get stuck in unfulfilling relationships all our lives. Some of us skip from one relationship to another due to this. Others just continue being unhappy in an unfulfilling relationship. This is why it is important to understand ourselves better before we get involved with someone. One must learn what they desire and deserve and only go for that. Anything less will only end up in heartbreaks and mess.
5. You get better sex
This might be an unexpected perk but it is still one. After all, only when you know what motions and emotions get us going behind the bedroom door, can you actually ask for it. Understand and be more vocal about your needs, even if it involves whips and handcuffs, and, believe me, you will never complain about your sex life being monotonous again.
Only when you know yourself can you actually be more vocal about your needs and create a relationship based on mutual trust and understanding. There is no better way to understand your relationship and the person in front of you than by being honest with yourself first. Which is why you should over-think less and practise more. And who knows? You might suddenly realise that your partner is the one you really won’t mind arguing with for the rest of your life.