Different people handle breakups in different ways, some with indifference, some with constant breakdowns and ice-cream tubs. The primary reason why it’s hard to deal with a breakup is that it throws you off balance and makes it harder for you to move on with your life. But there are things no one tells you about a breakup and you have to find out the hard way.
The truth about breakups is when a person gets into a relationship he or she never thinks it would end. But when it does you realise breakups don’t come with manuals. You have to wade through the waters of misery to find a way out. If you just went through a breakup with someone you love then this article is for you. We harp on the harsh truth about breakups.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday And Find Peace
7 Things No One Tells You About A Breakup
People will give you all kinds of advice after your heartbreak but there will always be things that no one talks about after a breakup. So her in this article we will focus on the 7 things no one tell you after a breakup and you will only discover it when you are going through the tough time. That’s why Bonobology is here. You will get an inkling of the truth about breakups.
1. It’s alright to grieve
It’s common sense that you’ll grieve after that heart-breaking separation. But what no one tells you is that it’s okay to grieve. This is one of the things no one tells you about a breakup.
Not only is it okay, but it’s normal. Yes, even when people are telling you to get over it and move on, it is still okay to grieve. Grief is the first stage of getting over things. It gives you a fresh perspective on things and lets you begin again.
2. It is okay to not feel normal
Sometimes, overthinking and anxiety lead you to believe several false things about yourself. This escalates exponentially after a breakup. What you need to realise is that whatever happened, it was a very important phase of your life and letting that go is going to be hard.
But there is no point keeping blaming yourself about what happened. You will not feel normal that’s a given and you won’t feel like eating even. You could lock yourself in a room all day that’s also okay.But ensure you don’t do it forever.
3. You keep thinking about a future with your ex
Yes, this is a thing that often happens. Whatever happened in your relationship, whoever screwed it up, you often go back to thinking of the good things that were and how they could have been if you still were together.
This happens during the grief period and, sometimes, even after that. You need to make sure that this idea doesn’t develop into anything bigger than a fantasy.
4. Art will make things better for you
If utilised right, different forms of arts according to your tastes will help you feel better about yourself and life in general. Whether it’s a movie, song or painting, choose what you’re seeing or listening to carefully.
Make sure to use it in a way that it doesn’t make things worse for you. Don’t listen to that one song that you loved listening to as a couple. If you used to paint before, start again. Let go of your pent-up emotions but in a way that relieves you.
5. Sharing is liberating after a breakup
You’ll find it often that the more you share, the better you feel. Find some good company or trustworthy friends and talk to them about your life and what’s happening in it. You’ll soon see that the more you let your emotions out, the faster it helps you heal.
Women can share more easily than men. That’s why a breakup hits men later and they keep grappling with it for a longer period of time.
Men deal with breakups differently than women but for both sexes sharing their feelings with someone could help.
6. Sadness paves the way for anger
There are things no one tells you about a breakup and one of that is you will go from being sad to very angry. You’ll soon start realising after your breakup that you are starting to become angry about the smallest of things.
It’s normal. It’s your mind’s way of letting out the frustration developing inside you because of the sadness you’re holding in. This is why sharing is important. You need to be aware of this and make sure you don’t end up doing something bad impulsively. Often people end up doing some silly things after a breakup. You should avoid that at all costs too.
7. Time does heal wounds
Now this may sound clichéd and cheesy but it’s the truth about breakups! Once you have faced it yourself and made it through all the phases of a breakup, you’ll come out a better person, feeling good about yourself. You’ll be stronger and more confident about yourself.
Time is the best healer and as you make the effort to reclaim your life and move on the memories would start to fade too. The smell of a perfume or that ice-cream parlour down the road won’t keep reminding you of your ex. Breakups don’t come with a manual, you will have to figure it out.
But does life get better after a breakup? Among the many things that no one tells you about a breakup this is definitely one. Life does get better after a break up when you get a grip on the reality. Because you don’t have to keep struggling in a relationship that isn’t working. You might miss your partner but you will not miss many aspects of the relationship. You will ultimately ensure closure.
So, there you have it. Just remember that because one relationship has ended, it doesn’t mean you will never find love again. Open your heart up to new experiences and don’t be afraid to feel. And someday, you will love again!