Different people handle a breakup in different ways – some with indifference, some with constant breakdowns and ice-cream tubs. The primary reason why it’s hard to deal with a breakup is that it throws you off balance and makes it harder for you to move on with your life. But the main speed breaker in the entire process is that there are various things no one tells you about the process, and you have to find out the hard way how to get over a breakup.
Though relationships and an unfortunate, consequent breakup don’t come with manuals, it’s surely not the end of the world. You have to wade through the waters of misery to find ways of how to get over a breakup you just had.
But with the correct amount of time, strength, patience and love from near and dear ones, getting over even the worst breakup is possible. So, if you just went through a breakup with someone you love then read on to find out what all can help you heal.
Related Reading: How To Get Over Someone You See Everyday And Find Peace
How To Get Over A Breakup – Things That No-one Tells You
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People will give you all kinds of advice after your heartbreak, but there will always be certain things that no one talks about after a breakup. There’s no self-help book or how-to guide when it comes to healing post breakup.
Every person takes their own time and deals with the trauma in their own way. But there are certain things that nobody might have told you about, but which helps you confront the situation you are in. Here are 7 such things that can help you face these tough times.
1. It’s alright to grieve
It’s inevitable that you’ll grieve after that heart-breaking separation. But what no one tells you is that it’s okay to grieve after a breakup.
Not only is it okay, but it’s normal. Yes, even when people are telling you to get over the breakup and move on, it is still okay to grieve.
Grief is the very first stage if you want to know how to get over a breakup. It gives you a fresh perspective on things and helps you begin afresh.
2. It is okay to not feel normal
Sometimes, overthinking and anxiety may lead you to believe several false things about yourself. This escalates exponentially after a breakup.
What you need to realize is that whatever happened, it was a very important phase of your life and letting that go is going to be hard. There is never an easy answer to the question “how to get over a breakup?”
But there is no point in blaming yourself about what happened. You will not feel normal that’s for sure. You could lock yourself in a room all day and feel cranky and disoriented – that’s also okay. But ensure you don’t do it forever after the breakup.
3. You keep thinking about a future with your ex
This is a thing that often happens after a breakup. Whatever happened in your relationship, despite all the negativity you feel now, you might go back to thinking of the good things that were there and how they could have been if you still were together.
This specially happens during the grief period and, sometimes, even after that. You need to make sure that this idea doesn’t develop into anything bigger than a fantasy.
Or else it’s going to be quite difficult even if you get a ready-made manual on how to get over a breakup.
Related Reading: First Breakup – 11 Ways To Deal With It
4. Art will make things better for you
If utilized right, different forms of art, according to your personal tastes, will help you feel better about yourself and life in general. Whether it’s a movie, song or painting, choose what you’re seeing or listening to carefully, especially in a post breakup phase.
Make sure to use it in a way that it doesn’t make things worse for you. Don’t listen to that one song that you loved listening to as a couple.
If you used to paint before, start again. Let go of your pent-up emotions, but in a way that relieves you.
5. Sharing is liberating after a breakup
You’ll find it often that the more you share, the better you feel. Find some good company or trustworthy friends and talk to them about your life and what’s happening in it.
You’ll soon see that the more you let your emotions out, the faster it helps you heal post breakup. Someone you talk to might also offer some useful advice on how to get over a breakup, who knows?
Women can share more easily than men. That’s why a breakup hits men later and they keep grappling with it for a longer period of time.
Men deal with breakups differently than women but for both sexes sharing their feelings with someone could help.
6. Sadness paves the way for anger
There are certain things no one tells you about a breakup and one of them is that you will go from being very sad to being very angry very quickly.
You’ll soon start realizing after your breakup that you are starting to become angry about the pettiest of things.
It’s absolutely normal after a breakup. It’s your mind’s way of letting out the frustration developing inside you because of the sadness you’re holding inside you. This is why sharing is important.
You need to be well aware of this and make sure you don’t end up doing something bad impulsively. You should avoid that at all costs too. Silly, impulsive actions are never the answer to how to get over a breakup.
7. Time does heal wounds
Now this may sound clichéd and cheesy, but it’s the ultimate truth about breakups! Once you have faced it yourself and made it through all the phases of a breakup, you’ll come out a better person, feeling good about yourself.
You’ll be stronger and more confident and will no longer go in search of answers on how to get over a breakup.
Time is the best healer and as you make the effort to reclaim your life and move on, the memories would start to fade too. The smell of a perfume or that ice-cream parlor down the road won’t keep reminding you of your ex. Breakups don’t come with a manual; so you will figure it out eventually.
But does life get better after a breakup? There is no one answer to that question. Life does get better after a breakup when you get a grip on the reality. We say this because you don’t have to keep struggling in a relationship that isn’t working. You might miss your partner after the breakup, but you will not miss many aspects of the relationship. You will ultimately get closure.
Just remember that because one relationship has ended, it doesn’t mean you will never find love again. Open your heart up to new possibilities and don’t be afraid to feel. And someday, you will love again!
1. How long until a breakup stops hurting?
Though this is a million dollar question and most of us are seeking a definite answer to this, unfortunately there is none. The exact timeline is very subjective and varies from person to person, from breakup to breakup. If you keep yourself engaged in other things and don’t sit and mope, you’ll get over it much faster.
2. Why does a breakup hurt so much?
No, it’s not just in the saying; there is actually a scientific side to it. A published neurophysiology study has shown that a breakup of relationships tends to hurt this much because it activates that portion of our brain which is related to motivation, reward, and addiction cravings. This is the reason why we tend to think and overthink, going over the unfortunate event of the breakup in our mind and can’t move on so easily.
3. How to move on from an ex whom you still love?
There are simple yet fool-proof ways of getting over your ex. These are to cut off contact, letting go of the fantasy world you had imagined with your ex, making peace with what happened, know that it is okay even if a small part of your heart continues to love them forever, and ultimately practice self-love.