Breakups don’t come with manuals. Different people handle breakups in different ways, some with indifference, some with constant breakdowns and ice-cream tubs. The primary reason why it’s hard to deal with a breakup is that it throws you off balance and makes it harder for you to move on with your life.
Besides, here are some things that no one tells you about a serious breakup:
1. It’s alright to grieve
It’s common sense that you’ll grieve after that heart-breaking separation. But what no one tells you is that it’s okay to grieve. Not only is it okay, but it’s normal. Yes, even when people are telling you to get over it and move on, it is still okay to grieve. Grief is the first stage of getting over things. It gives you a fresh perspective on things and lets you begin again.
2. It is okay to not feel normal
Sometimes, overthinking and anxiety lead you to believe several false things about yourself. This escalates exponentially after a breakup. What you need to realise is that whatever happened, it was a very important phase of your life and letting that go is going to be hard.
3. Thinking about a future with your ex
Yes, this is a thing that often happens. Whatever happened in your relationship, whoever screwed it up, you often go back to thinking of the good things that were and how they could have been if you still were together. This happens during the grief period and, sometimes, even after that. You need to make sure that this idea doesn’t develop into anything bigger than a fantasy.
4. Art will make things better for you
If utilised right, different forms of arts according to your tastes will help you feel better about yourself and life in general. Whether it’s a movie, song or painting, choose what you’re seeing or listening to carefully. Make sure to use it in a way that it doesn’t make things worse for you. Don’t listen to that one song that you loved listening to as a couple. If you used to paint before, start again. Let go of your pent-up emotions but in a way that relieves you.
5. Sharing is liberating
You’ll find it often that the more you share, the better you feel. Find some good company or trustworthy friends and talk to them about your life and what’s happening in it. You’ll soon see that the more you let your emotions out, the faster it helps you heal.
6. Sadness paves the way to anger
You’ll soon start realising after your break up that you are starting to become angry about the smallest of things. It’s normal. It’s your mind’s way of letting out the frustration developing inside you because of the sadness you’re holding in. This is why sharing is important. You need to be aware of this and make sure you don’t end up doing something bad impulsively.
7. Time does heal wounds
Now this may sound clichéd and cheesy but it’s the truth! Once you have faced it yourself and made it through all the phases of a breakup, you’ll come out a better person, feeling good about yourself. You’ll be stronger and more confident about yourself.
So, there you have it. Just remember that because one relationship has ended, it doesn’t mean you will never find love again. Open your heart up to new experiences and don’t be afraid to feel. And someday, you will love again!