14 Signs A Girl Is Leading You On And Toying With Your Heart

Khushi Mehta
lady showing stop sign

So you have this girl in your life who is always looking for your attention, shows interest in you, might even go on dates with you and yet does not think of you as a boyfriend. When you ask her if she wants to make the relationship official she always has excuses to say no. She hangs around with you, even gets touchy-feely with you, behaves like she is your girlfriend and then suddenly when you least expect it she withdraws from you. And you wonder what is happening? You wonder why she is suddenly losing interest and you start chasing her even more. You keep thinking about how complicated the situation is and wish your love was more simple and brought you happiness and joy? So, let us try to understand why she is leading you on and the relationship is going nowhere despite your efforts. You probably are not misreading the signals she is giving you and she is simply toying with your heart.

Click here to read an article that has 15 signs she just wants attention and not you.

You may feel like she is playing with your emotions and this is causing you heartbreak. But, there will also be times when she is so loving and perfect than you can’t believe your luck that you found her. Some of the best moments of your life would have been with her and you are slowly falling uncontrollably in love with her. She’ll behave like your girlfriend, and yet refuse to acknowledge herself as one. She may seem just like the right person for you but isn’t. Sometimes, she shows signs she is interested in you, and the next she is distant and will avoid you for days at end. And while it may be hard to digest, the fact is, she is probably leading you on. You keep asking yourself the question is she leading me on but don’t know how to answer it. You are confused.

Click here to read about this woman who’s husband suddenly blocked her after three years of marriage.

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14 Signs A Girl Is Leading You On To Nowhere

So you have your doubts about the woman in your life and want to confirm that she is leading you on. You want to make sure that she is toying with your heart and is not just being friendly. To know for sure whether she is messing with your mind and heart, and is simply using you to get attention or as a backup plan, watch out for these signs. Here’s how to tell if a girl is leading you on.

1. The relationship is a secret

Even if she is dating you and on odd occasions makes out with you, to others, you are still close friends who may be on the verge of dating. The real equation between the two of you remains hidden and she prefers it that way. When she introduces you to her friends she always refers to you as her ‘good friend’ and will laugh it off when people tease you together. She is not willing to acknowledge your relationship on any social platforms and will not want to go on dates with you in very public places.

Click here to read about this man who is in a secret relationship with his brother’s wife.

2. Her plans don’t include you

You will have many conversations about your future and she may even share her future vacation plans or career goals but you will see that she doesn’t include you in any of these. When she plans her future, you are not even after thoughts. She may sleep with you, but will not discuss any plans of a future with you, because she doesn’t think you will be a part of it. She probably does not see you being in her life long-term.

Click here to read about this couple who have no future but are happy they have today and see if this is what you want.

lady pushing man away

Lady pushing man away Image source

3. She acts moody and distant

When you pursue her and give her attention, she becomes detached and distant and may even avoid you. She may stop calling you, replying to your texts, and meeting you. Whenever you feel like the relationship is taking two steps forward, she will take four steps back.

Related reading: 5 ways in which women play hard to get every time

4. Then suddenly she wants you

The moment you take a step backwards and think you should give her space and not cling to her, she starts to vie for your attention and is all lovey-dovey with you. She will go to any length to win your attention and she craves to be with you and spend time together. This may lead you to think that she realized she needs you in her life but it is more likely that she needs the attention you give her.

Here are 15 signs you are dating a clingy girlfriend.

5. You meet her only when she wants to

Because she does not consider herself as your girlfriend, you only get to hang out with her on her schedule. She will call you up as and when she is free, without being considerate of your family, work and social commitments. You may hear from her often when she is alone and lonely and needs someone to hang out with. If you want to meet her when she is not feeling lonely, she will give you plenty of excuses like a hectic work schedule or a sick mom.

Click here to read about this one-sided love story.

6. The nameless relationship

Just like you, your friends are also wondering what is happening between the two of you. She goes out on dates with you, sleeps with you, practically takes you everywhere with her, but refuses to acknowledge you as her boyfriend. Your friends often raise eyebrows at this nameless relationship, leaving you feeling like just an option for her. This is a sure sign she is leading you on.

7. She says she needs you

If ever you raise questions about your equation with her, she makes herself appear helpless and needy and claims she needs you. She makes you feel like you are the most important person in her life and she would not be able to survive without your help, support and advice. Even when you give her ultimatums, she begs you to stay and refuses to accept she is in a relationship with you.

Click here to read about this woman who’s affair made her feel cheated and helpless.

8. She hasn’t had many men in her life

Perhaps because she leads them on, she hasn’t dated many men. When you ask her about her past relationships she will tell you that there has never been a serious on. Even if you know she was going around with someone, she will dismiss the affair and tell you they were just rumors about a friendship she had. She has had relationships, but because she led them on, they were not relationships to her. This will also tell you your position in her life. You are being led on too by her, face that.

Click here to read about new-age relationships in India.

9. She doesn’t appreciate you eyeing any other girl

She gets furious if you indicate you find another girl attractive or compliment someone. If you show signs of being interested in someone else, she will go out of her way to seduce you with flirty conversations and naughty texts. She wants you all to herself and sees every other woman you find attractive as a threat.

Click here to read about how Lord Krishna proved that pride and jealousy have no place in a relationship.

lady fighting with husband

Lady fighting with husband Image source Image source

Related reading: 5 zodiac signs that are known to be master manipulators

10. She may hook up with someone else, though

Since she claims you are just a friend and you guys are not exclusive, she doesn’t think she is wrong for hooking up with another guy. But she will still give you her attention and act flirty with you, leaving you confused and wondering what your relationship with her means. You will be so drawn to her that you feel happy when she smiles at you and spends time with you, even though she treats you like you are dispensable and easily replaceable.

Click here to read about this man who encourages his woman to flirt with other men.

11. She is moody

For days and weeks, she will have eyes only for you and will flirt with you. She will be close with you and hang out pretty often. She may even have sex with you. Then there will be days when she is withdrawn. She will ignore you and not respond to your calls and messages. She may not meet you for days before again getting back to the same behaviour. If you notice this pattern frequently, she is leading you on.

12. She cuddles and gets cosy

She tells everyone you are just a friend, but when she is alone with you, she gets all cosy and warm with you and wants to cuddle and hold hands. In her private moments with you, she will not shy away from letting you stroke her hair or kiss her, and may even respond by getting seductive taking a step further. It all depends on what her mood is and what she wants from you. She is indeed leading you on if she wants no public displays of attraction.

13. You are her go-to man when she is lonely

You won’t hear from her when she is having fun and is with her friends, even if you tell her you need her. But when she is lonely or needs something, your phone will buzz constantly and she will expect you to drop everything for her. You are not a part of her happy life, only the part when she is lonely and needs something. If she is not willing to be there for you during your bad phases she is probably not emotionally invested in you.

Click here to read about the young bachelor who met the lonely housewife.

14. She never acknowledges you as her boyfriend

In front of her friends, she never says how close you are and acknowledges you just as a friend. She tells you that she does not want anyone to know how much you guys talk or how much time you spend together. She may even sleep with you, but will never let her friends know it. You feel like her dirty little secret. She probably feels she is too good for you and she deserves someone better, so she has fun with you and when she feels like she is done she will dump you.

Click here to read about confession stories of women who slept with their best friend’s boyfriend.

sad man

Sad man Image source

If this is what your relationship looks like, it is complicated. If you decide to confront her, she will use her manipulative tactics and you will get confused about your decision. Love clouds our judgement and that is what will happen to you as well.

Why do some girls lead guys on?

For the fun factor, the drama, or for the time that she needs to make up her mind, there could be a few reasons that a girl leads a guy on. It may seem like a complicated deal, and may even hurt at times, but a girl giving you mixed signals could be confused herself as well. We have summed up a few reasons why girls lead guys on:

  • For the fun and the drama. She does feel good to have all your attention and time. Plus, she gets to toy with your heart
  • She may be confused and needs some time to figure things out, but does not want to let you go during this time in case she decides to commit to you
  • She may just think of you as a friend, and you are misreading her signals and think your friendship means more than it does
  • She feels you are just an ‘average’ guy and does not want her friends to know about her relationship with you for fear of judgement and embarrassment
  • She is interested in someone else, but likes you as well and is keeping you as her backup plan
  • She doesn’t realise she is leading you on but is being nice and friendly because she does not want to reject you outright

Click here to read about this man who’s partner left him because he was ugly.

However, if you are convinced she is playing with you and leading you on, you need to sum up these signs and walk out on her before it is too late.

What to do if you love a girl who is leading you on?

You need to think about what you want for yourself. Are you happy with the scraps she is throwing for you? If not, you need to wash her out of your system – and that will be a tough thing to do because you love her. Girls who lead guys on are like drugs; you reason and try to get them off you, but they come back again, screwing with your mind and playing with your heart.

To escape the clutches of a girl leading you on, you will need to walk out of the relationship immediately. If she restrains and woos you back with puppy eyes and flirty conversations, try doing or saying something that hurts her fragile ego. There! Now she would probably let you go.

It can be tough to let someone you love go, but is there a point pursuing a relationship that has no future and will eventually hurt you more?

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