I am a 23-year-old lady currently living in Delhi. I have a feeling I am suffering from depression. I am sure that mentally I am not well.
Am I Going Through Depression?
I checked online for the signs of depression and most of those match my condition. I am very confused. I feel very tired, I procrastinate a lot and I have been feeling like there is no point of living in this world.
Death is a good option
It’s not that I think of suicide. I never thought of suicide but if somehow I die by accident or by external factors I will not feel bad about dying. I came to Delhi from a small town in the North East a few months back. I am staying with my elder sister. I completed BSc in botany last year. I am here for a job. I gave interviews and even I got selected in many of the interviews but finally, things did not work out.
Related Reading: 8 Signs Your Friend Is In Depression And 6 Ways You Can Help
I talk about my past and cry
I just feel like sleeping the whole day. I sleep day and night. I feel like my childhood, parent’s pressure and failed love life is affecting me very badly. I have had many bad experiences in my life from my childhood till now.
Whenever I talk about my past I start crying.
I don’t know why my tears just don’t stop when I think about my past. Things are going from bad to worse day by day and now I spend most of the time sleeping. I have mood swings.
I have stopped laughing
My elder sister says that I don’t laugh much. I don’t look like a cheerful person at all. I feel tired, most of the time I don’t take calls from the interviewers because I just want to sleep. I don’t take a bath on most days. What’s wrong with me?
Related Reading: 7 Ways Childhood Sexual Abuse Can Impact Your Relationships
Once I got a stomach ache and I checked the internet. I almost got a heart attack – one site said I had pancreatitis and another said I needed an operation and yet another said I was pregnant! I rushed to the doctor and my heart was palpitating.
Doctor diagnosed right
The doctor said I had gas and gave me an Eno. I burped and all the scary diseases went away. Availability of information online has turned us into hypochondriacs. So you deduce that your laziness is because of depression.
Mental health is precious
Before you come to any conclusions, please visit a psychiatrist who will diagnose you. Mental health is precious and needs to be not taken seriously.
Not taking a bath, ignoring calls which the subconscious says will be cold, can’t be viewed as enough information to qualify your state as depressive.
You could be bored
From where I see it, you are probably bored and you are looking for an exciting adventure. You crave fun and excitement.
So I strongly suggest you visit a psychiatrist. Meanwhile, do something new – discover a new place, or a new skill or start learning something you never have learnt before. And meditate. Life will be clearer.
Love and light,