What is the bro code really? A ticket for your bro to do whatever he wants no matter how bad it may be for him? That sounds a tad counterproductive to me. If you really are his friend, you are going to want to share with him what is best for him. That sounds more like it, doesn’t it?
If you think your BFF has a mean girlfriend, it is your job to tell him that. At the end of the day, his happiness should matter to you. If you can foresee that this new girl is not going to make him happy, breaking the bro code is just a small price to pay.
Are You Really Breaking The Bro Code?
Try telling a guy that his girlfriend is not good enough and he will start thinking that you have feelings for him. They are tuned to think that way, unfortunately. Moreover, if he is just starting a new relationship, he will be completely smitten with her. He may not be able to hear one negative thing against her or view your opinions of her rationally.
It is sort of natural for him to feel this way, but we get how this can also feel unfair to you. You just want to be there for your BFF and show him what is right for him. He may be so blinded by love that he cannot see it at all. But as an outsider and someone who truly cares for him, you can. The bro code does not exist in such a situation.
If you believe that his girlfriend is bad news, it may be difficult to show that to him. He may not believe you and he may even fight you passionately about it. Think about why you feel this way and be upfront with him. Here’s how you should go about breaking the bro code to show your friend the truth about his mean girlfriend:
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1. Stop and think
Are you really sure? Or is it your personal emotions and jealousy coming into play? I’m not saying that you have a crush on your best friend or that you want him all to yourself. I’m just saying it might be the case that you are missing him. Now that he has a girlfriend, he doesn’t spend that much time with you anymore and you are blaming his girlfriend for it.
Maybe you just need to step back and give the new couple a bit more space. You really do not want to stir drama about something that just does not exist. Therefore, before really doing anything, think carefully and take the right decision.
2. Try being nice
Really, try it. Not just plain everyday nice that you are to your cab driver or barista, but a little extra for your BFF’s girlfriend. If she’s all right and if you haven’t damaged the relationship already, then she will be responsive too.
But if she doesn’t, you will know for sure that she’s not that good. She is exactly the mean girlfriend that you thought she was. Breaking the bro code here might be allowed. Tell your BFF not to judge his girl on the basis of how she behaves with him but rather by how she behaves with his friends. He will soon understand the difference between who he thinks she is and the selfish girlfriend she really is.
3. Talk to her alone
Your BFF’s girlfriend may be suffering from insecurity herself. It is possible that she has unresolved issues which make her appear like a mean girlfriend. The bro code is all about wanting the best for your BFF. Sometimes, this may mean, doing a little something for his girlfriend.
Talk to her alone and you may realize that yourself. Meet her alone, try to find common ground and build a friendship. If she’s the love of your best friend, then she deserves a little love and respect from you too. All your efforts will fall flat if she considers you a threat to her relationship. Have you ever shown any sign of it being true? Has he?
4. Show him what she really is
Actions speak louder than words, we all know this. If you’ve spoken to her and still realized that she is not as sweet as she seems, it might be time to show it to your best friend.
Create the situations that you know she would react badly to and wait for it. Maybe your BFF will see her for who she really is or blame you for making her life harder. As his best friend, it is your job to show him all her toxic girlfriend signs.
There is a risk of this approach blowing up in your face. But it’s a risk you have to take: for better or for worse. You have some responsibility toward your BFF and you are just acting in his best interest. Isn’t it so?
Related Reading: Things you will relate to if your bestie is in a relationship
5. Stage an intervention
If you think that the things are getting out of hand and you can’t handle it anymore, bring in reinforcements. Get other friends involved; ask them if they feel the same way. If yes, then tell them to join the mission to help your BFF. Better still, get the parents involved.
You must already be familiar with your BFF’s parents and family. Just leak it to them that your BFF has a mean girlfriend. Yes, this can be seen as a serious breach of the bro code but sometimes the ends do justify the means.
Pass the responsibility of making him see the reality of the situation over to them and let them decide what should be done. They will want to meet the girl and if she’s the wrong one, they will outright tell your BFF that.
6. Hope for the best
If nothing works and if everything you do backfires, then all you can do is hope. When a person is blindly in love, they can’t listen to reason. They cannot see the faults in their partner and get angry with whoever points them out to them. He may be falling in love too fast.
After all, you don’t just fall in love with a person for all the good qualities they have but also in spite of all the bad qualities. So, maybe the things you find irritating in her, your BFF actually finds those cute. You did your best but now it may time to just be patient.
However, the bro code entails one more thing. If things really don’t work out between your BFF and his girlfriend, you can always lend your shoulder for him to cry on. Be his true friend always.