There is a fine line between being a loving girlfriend and a clingy one. All boyfriends love a loving girlfriend who cares for them like no other. What boyfriends don’t like is a psycho who stalks their everyday life and does not give them space even to breathe. Are you that psycho girlfriend? Be prepared to become his psycho ex-girlfriend if that’s you.
We know that clinginess is confusing. You don’t want to be too clingy nor too distant. It is difficult to find the right balance between clinginess and distance. The truth is that the extent of clinginess varies from relationship to relationship. What could be too clingy for one boyfriend could be lots of love and care for the other?
Who said understanding relationships was a piece of cake?
What is being in a clingy relationship?
Being in a clingy relationship is when girlfriends cross all limits of possessiveness. They want a relationship where it’s just the two of them and there is no room for their boyfriend’s friends, family or colleagues. They become too clingy and needy and their boyfriends start to find ways to avoid them.
What makes a woman so clingy and needy? Are all women in relationships clingy and needy? Most women who are clingy are not even aware of the negative effects of their actions. It’s as if their brain is clouded with emotions and love hormones. They constantly feel the urge to either talk to their partner or meet up with them. Staying apart even for a few hours makes them psychotic and crazy.
Clinginess could either be due to the initial excitement of a relationship or the fear of a potential heartbreak. The fear of her boyfriend going behind her back makes her uncomfortable and she therefore forces herself into her boyfriend’s life to be a part of it as much as she can.
15 signs of being a clingy girlfriend
Are you afraid to screw up a relationship because you could become clingy? Don’t worry, this article will help you clearly see through all those overwhelming emotions and become a girlfriend that your boyfriend cancels other plans to be with rather than choosing to avoid. Take the following clingy girlfriend signs as warning signs in your relationship.
1. You do not give him space
You become so desperate to be a major part of his life that you even want to become the air he breathes. You want him to spend his entire day with you and will keep asking him whether he thinks about you. You want him to give an update of his whereabouts every 5 minutes and will start obsessing if he stops replying to your texts all of a sudden.
Men love their space more than anything. Give him the space he needs and he will gradually let you enter it. Be patient enough to let it happen on its own. Don’t push it.
Related reading: Why is space so crucial in a relationship?
2. You want to talk to him the entire time
We all love the honeymoon phase of a relationship where you both can’t keep your hands off each other. You want to talk to each other day and night and eagerly wait for the next time you meet. After the honeymoon phase wears off, things get back to normal as the temperature of your relationship is in control. If you still want to talk to him the entire day even after the honeymoon phase is over, then stop.
When you keep calling him or sending him clingy girlfriend texts, even if you know that he might not be able to talk, it is called disturbing.
3. His entire life must revolve around you
After getting into a relationship, many people forget that they still have separate lives. A clingy girlfriend is the first one to forget that. You want him to do everything solely with you. You want to be the most important person in his life and in this attempt you force him to plan everything according to you.
Wherever he goes, you follow.
4. You are over-dependent on him
You take this relationship too seriously. By building your world around him most of the time, you have forgotten what your life was like before him. Doing anything without him makes you feel nervous. You call him to solve every minor issue in your life.
5. All his attention should be on you
You want him to give you his undivided attention. Even him talking about another girl raises your eyebrows. You should always be on his mind like he is on yours. Initially, your boyfriend might think it cute. He might think it’s a sign of love. Constant attention seeking will eventually frustrate him and he will want an out.
6. You become suspicious
There are parts of his life which you might not be involved in. Not knowing his whereabouts will make you suspicious. All sorts of weird thoughts and ideas will be in your mind. The fear of him cheating will make you paranoid. You will start asking him constant questions and you won’t believe him even if he is telling the truth.
Constant suspicion is a big turn-off. It will only distance him even more.
7. You are constantly thinking about him
It’s good to be crazy about him. But by constantly thinking about him and your relationship, you are leaving no room for your individual life. It is very important to have a life of your own in which your boyfriend doesn’t play a part. Maintain a balance between your individual life and your love life.
8. Insecurity creeps in
Somewhere within, you get a feeling that your boyfriend isn’t as serious about your relationship as you are. This makes you uncomfortable and insecure. Thinking about the fact that you may not be his only priority make you fear that your relationship is threatened. You try as hard as you can to become his priority.
Trust is the foundation to a healthy relationship and if you don’t trust him, then what are you fighting for?
Related reading: 5 things men do to make a woman feel insecure
9. You are jealous that he has a life without you
Your boyfriend has a life of his own. He could be making plans without you and you don’t enjoy it. You are jealous of him enjoying without you and question whether his friends make him happier than you do. You even try to sabotage his plans and forcefully include yourself in them.
10. You are possessive
Every girlfriend is a bit possessive about her man but too much of it is the doom of a relationship. If you are being over-possessive, stop it! You are obsessing over him. Over-possessive girlfriends start treating their boyfriends like their property and no one else can even eye them. A casual conversation between your boyfriend and a female friend will make you want to scratch the girl’s eyes out.
11. You are too available
Always being available for him will make him take you for granted. He will know that you are always free for him and thus will make plans at his convenience. Though this may sound a good thing, it is not. Know your self worth and make him realise it too. You need to make yourself sound busy even if you are not, so that he values you and your time.
12. You don’t think he loves you enough
Have you ever asked your boyfriend whether he love you about 500 times a day? You are already clingy. Whatever you have is not enough for you and it might never be. Him telling you his feelings isn’t enough validation. You constantly want more, even if you don’t know how. There is constant doubt in your mind relating to his feelings. If you constantly feel so, talk it out and work something out.
13. Low self esteem
“What did I do to get you?” This is something we all have told our boyfriends at some point of time. Do you think that you don’t deserve him? Do you think that he is too good for you? Low self-esteem usually makes a person more insecure. She therefore clings onto every possible thing to make the relationship work, because she fears that he will find someone better than her and leave her. If you didn’t deserve him, then he wouldn’t have chosen to be with you.
14. Stalk his social media account
Social media accounts are a great way to gather really useful information about your boyfriend’s life. A picture is worth a 1000 words and so are the comments on them. But what about stalking his friends, friends of friends and friends of friends of friends? Have you reached the point where you stalk all possible accounts remotely related to your boyfriend just to know where each one stands in his life?
I sense a clingy lover!
Related reading: Should you share social media passwords with your partner?
15. You keep wanting to meet his parents
You might have already got married to him in his head. Hence, wanting to meet his parents isn’t surprising. He is very important to you and what is better than knowing it from his parents? You want to know his parents on a personal level and want them to like you. You constantly coax him to take you to meet his parents. Meeting parents is a big step which he might not be ready to take. So trust him with the fact that he will do it when he is ready.
How to avoid being a clingy girlfriend?
To avoid being a girlfriend could need some hard work depending on how easily you get tempted into doing the crazy. But then, if you’ve got to make your relationship work, you cannot be clingy. Worship the tips below to help you be the girlfriend every guy loves.
- Maintain distance. Make him call first. It will make him miss you more and keep the heat going in your relationship
- Keep surprises up your sleeve. Don’t give everything away too soon. Men love women who amuse them from time to time
- Stay mysterious. Make him want to unravel your secrets. Make him crave you
- Do things for yourself. Work on your own life first
- Give him space. You need to trust him with what he does when you are not around
If you have seen yourself in more than seven points, then it’s time you do something about it before your boyfriend plans to dump you. A relationship may not work, but being dumped for being too clingy isn’t something any girl wants to hear.