When your best friend gets a boyfriend does she say not without my best friend often? Probably not. And it does hurt a bit doesn’t it? Because a best friend is the Rachel to your Monica, the Gunther to your coffee, the Joey to your pizza and the Chandler to your sarcasm. In short, she is the one you run to share the latest piece of gossip. Your fingers are already texting her while you are witnessing a catfight and you cannot imagine watching a horror movie with anyone else. Yes, she is your best friend. You have been friends since you learnt to say A, B, C… Or maybe you just knew you were going to get along when you caught each other making the bitch face when the meanest girl in the class passed by.
Every girl has had that one best friend in her life, the kind of friend who is the only constant when everything else around her life changed. You have even considered marrying 2 brothers to end up in the same family or digging an underground tunnel just to secretly meet and crib about grown up life. And then you get a text that reads ‘He asked me out and I said yes!’ and all hell breaks loose.
You realise you are no more going to be her No.1 and soon will become ‘that girl I used to hang out with’. We have all been through these chain of thoughts when your best friend makes a boyfriend.
10 Thoughts You Will Have When Your Bestie Gets A Boyfriend
You have been childhood gal pals and you have always been together. You never had to think twice when you landed up in her house for some chit-chat or she called you and talked on the phone for hours. But when your best friend gets a boyfriend you don’t figure in her priority list anymore and you will have to accept that. Every new relationship comes with its euphoria and your bestie could put her BFF in the background to romance her new boyfriend.
Ritwika said when Asmita, her best friend, started dating at 17 she just hated the guy. “Till then we were joined at the hip. Every time I went to their house he was always there and I never got to talk to her. I came back home sad and crestfallen and there were times I plotted to tell her parents not to allow him in their house so often,” laughs Ritwika. But with time she came to terms with the fact that Asmita was in love and it was going to be that way. After they had a massive fight Asmita also understood that she was ignoring her friend. It’s been 20 years since then. Asmita’s boyfriend is her husband now and Ritwika is still her best friend. But Ritwika does have vivid memories of the days when she used to think, “My best friend is always with her boyfriend.” Here are the thoughts that usually comes to a girls mind after her bestie gets a boyfriend.
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1. Third wheel, supporting cast and what not
You realise you are no longer the centre of her universe and always find yourself being a third wheel to their hangout time. Initially, you even laugh at his jokes for your best friend’s sake but you soon give up and just sigh and roll your eyes wishing for time to just pass faster. You come to terms with the fact that your best friend has a boyfriend now.
2. Clueless and annoyed
The third wheel thing will seem bearable as soon as you realise you have no clue what the couple is laughing at. You hate their inside jokes, secretly cursing your friend for being so annoying.
Read more: Why every girl needs a guy best friend
3. One Mississippi, two Mississippi
Your best friend cannot shut up about the date she had the other day and you, being a good best friend, carry out your duty to duly acknowledge, even throw in an awww every once in a while, counting Mississippi all that time. Breathe! This is just the beginning. You are part of this whole thing of your bestie having a boyfriend, yet you are out of it. What a strange situation.
4. When your game backfires
So the next time the love birds hang out with you, you decide to pull out the big guns and start making inside jokes that only and only your best friend would understand in the whole world! ‘Take that you jerk’ is what you are saying to yourself, but before you finish your punch line, your bestie goes, ‘Oh let’s talk about it later, I don’t want him to feel out of place’. And that is when you begin to resent the dude.
5. Having to shop alone
Shopping is just another task on the checklist that you are now doing alone. Your best-friend-forever is busy planning a surprise birthday party for her guy and you end up wandering at the mall, trying really to find the meaning of life. You seriously contemplate moving towns or even adopting a cat.
6. Being dumped for a guy
This one really hurts! You finally look forward to spending some alone time with your girlfriend and are too excited to watch the latest RomCom when you get the call 30 minutes before the movie that starts with the words ‘Hey listen, can we reschedule..’ You cannot believe you are being dumped for a guy who has been in your bestie’s life for 2 months.
7. The confrontation and the cold war
You finally decide to confront your BFF and tell her how things have changed for the two of you. You have a speech rehearsed and you deliver it with extreme seriousness. But your bestie completely misunderstands and comforts you for being single and lonely and promises to hook you up with his best friend. That moment, you know you are going to say things which you will regret later but you say them anyway and thus the cold war begins.
8. Being alone for the rest of your life
There is zero communication between you two for days together and it is killing you. You think about apologising more than once but shake the thought off almost instantly. You decide to make a new best friend but literally not one name comes to mind. That is when you accept that you are going to be on your own for the rest of your life.
9. Light at the end of the tunnel
God is kind and you agree when you see your BFF’s relationship status from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘Single’ and you have performed the tango, salsa and hip hop all together. You knock on her door with her favourite brand of chocolates to hear it all out!
10. And we are back baby
All is well in the end when you go back to being yourselves and start dreaming about starting your line of fashion clothing together! OR it could be that you find a guy and then it’s time for double dates.
How To Survive When Your Best Friend Gets A Boyfriend
Every person goes through this phase in life. When your best friend gets a boyfriend you go from resentment to finally acceptance. But in case she breaks up you become the shoulder to cry on and come out with a stronger relationship. In case she doesn’t, you gradually accept the fact that there will be a man between you forever. This is a tough phase we agree when she goes from being available all the time to being perpetually busy with her guy. Here’s what you could do to survive the phase when your best friend gets a boyfriend.
1. Hang out with other friends
You surely have other friends whom you had been ignoring too because you and your bestie were together most of the time. Reconnect with them and have a good time hanging out. This could even make your bestie a bit “j”.
2. Learn from the experience
Treat this as a learning experience that you should not depend on one person to fulfill your emotional needs. Take your mom out to the movies and then shop together later. See how much you enjoy. Make the best of the difficult phase.
3. Never sulk
Sulking is just not an option. Your happiness is in your hands. All friends don’t stay with you all their life. Don’t you change cities, go to different universities and take up jobs in different places? Then what? Your friendship survives the distance and the phases if it’s strong enough. That your bestie is totally into her boyfriend and is ignoring you is just a passing phase. Don’t be upset.
4. Make use of the time
Walks with your bestie in the evening: 1 hour. Shopping and eating out on weekends: 4 hours. Chatting on the phone everyday: 1 hour. Texting: Endless minutes. Use this time now to join an online course maybe. Zumba class is a great idea too. You will get to meet new people as well.
5. Find yourself a guy too
Yep you never really had the time to fall for a guy because you were so busy with your bestie. Now is the time to be on social media more often and attend those parties you had ditched earlier. You never know where you find your own Prince Charming.
No really when your best friend gets a boyfriend you don’t need to be upset. Yes, we know you will go through the emotional upheaval of literally losing your best pal to a guy but just follow our survival tips and the phase will pass.