Starting a new relationship is sometimes just like renovating an old house. It’s a bit of a slippery slope because you have to choose the right person just like you worry about choosing the right elements for your home. The walls, the upholstery, decor and other features do not have to be identical but should be in sync with your personality.
Getting into a brand new commitment with a brand new person is a happening change and will make your life rosier. But starting a new relationship also requires some healthy decision making, understanding and reflection. After all, you don’t want your living room to look the opposite of what you had imagined!
Starting a New Relationship – 21 Dos and Don’ts
What happens in a new relationship or the timelessly confusing dilemma of space when dating is something you might worry about eventually. To make the best of your experiences with this new entry in your life, there are certain tips and rules to help you out.
If you’re nervous, then understand that beginning of a relationship anxiety is not a bad thing! It only shows that you are concerned about what you are getting into and paying attention to yourself. It’s only natural to feel this way but we have got you covered to ease the process.
Here are 21 dos and don’ts to keep in mind when you are starting a new relationship.
1. Make sure you are attracted to the right things about them
It will be a terrible waste of time starting a new relationship with someone who you think is just hot or fun to be around. While those things are major deal breakers in the initial days of dating, you must dig deeper and admire their qualities. To engage with another person means getting to know and like who they are on the inside.
Frivolous banter, coquettish behavior are all fun and sexy in the beginning. However, when starting a new relationship, a more meaningful connection can lay a great foundation. Perhaps you admire his sincerity toward his parents or like her commitment to her job. Take some time to ponder what you really like about them.
2. Do not keep talking about your exes
It’s the new relationship 101 to refrain completely from going down your romantic memory lane. Sharing a few cute stories here and there is okay. However, you do not want to scare off your new partner by repeatedly bringing up an old flame. It might make them feel insecure and that is not a good sign for the future of your relationship.
Saying, ‘My ex Matthew loved the mud pie at this restaurant’ when on a dinner date with your new boyfriend will ring a blaring alarm in his mind. Keep the mention of exes on the down-low to avoid scaring off your new partner. They never signed up for a competition with your past relationships.
3. Don’t shy away from communicating your feelings
Rosy beginnings call for honest and open communication. Whether something is making you feel elated or uncomfortable – you must lay it all out on the table. These early days are the ripe time to get to know one another.
Worrying about hurting their feelings or doing things you don’t want to make them happy cannot sustain in the long run. So, it’s best to be yourself right from the beginning, so they can get a hang of your likes and dislikes too.
4. Understand their physical and sexual boundaries
Sexual progression differs from relationship to relationship. Some are manifested from an amazing sexual compatibility and others take their own sweet time to express physical affection. With such a variety of terms for each individual, you must be smart enough to gauge where your partner is on this equation.
More importantly, be comfortable where you stand and don’t rush into sex if you do not want to. Disrupting the comfort will also disrupt the love that has blossomed so far.
5. Don’t act like a maniacal partner
Dealing with ‘Why did you not call when you got off of work?’ or sending a trail of ‘I miss you’ texts can be overwhelming for anyone when starting a new relationship. You must learn to relax when dating someone and loosen the reins on them.
This is still a time when you are both figuring out what you want from this. Understand their need for space when dating.
Related Reading: 15 Unwritten Rules Of Dating We All Should Follow
6. Do not try to show off constantly
To make the other person fall deeper in love with you and reassuring them that they made the right choice is not an excuse to brag. Whether it is your fancy Wall Street job, a brand new car or last vacation to Hawaii, nobody likes a loudmouth.
Moreover, you want your new partner to love you for who you are and not for the material things in your life. If you keep up this showboat attitude, chances are you won’t leave room for any actual romantic developments.
7. Show them that you care when starting a new relationship
Starting a new relationship is graced by a sizzling honeymoon period with endless perks and zero sadness. This period requires a lot of attention and concern. To start things off on the right note, you must show that you are capable of being committed and ready for exclusive dating.
Do things that make them feel like they matter and are welcome in your life. Small, romantic gestures such as writing them a heart-warming thank you letter, sending flowers to their workplace or watching their favorite movie with them go a long way.
8. Be honest about your own emotional needs
When starting a new relationship, you are officially entering an arena of some heavy emotional exchange. To understand another person emotionally is one thing. You must be aware of their reactions, responses and expectations.
At the same time, you should also not put your own emotional requirements in the backseat. A relationship is only right for you when your wants are also being listened to. Do not neglect yourself for the sake of being polite.
9. Try new things for them
Starting a new relationship is also a lot about learning to build an interdependent relationship. It could also offer some serious spiritual growth, exploring a better world understanding or simply trying a new skill. When you accommodate a new person in your life, you must also accommodate everything else they bring to the table!
Even if you two are poles apart, you know you like her for a reason. For example, if you’re a city man and she’s a country girl, you could always try exploring the countryside for her sake. Not only will this help you get to know your partner better but will also help you get in touch with some unexplored parts of your personality.
10. Don’t pry into their past
When investing in somebody new, you might wonder whether they are right for you. Wanting to know about any skeletons in their closet or being wary of trusting them completely are all valid concerns.
The way to address these concerns is by asking them the right questions and not playing Sherlock and making them feel cornered. Ask them what you want to know without making it seem like an interrogation!
11. Keep an eye out for red flags when starting a new relationship
Being smitten is beautiful. But hold your horses and do not drift off onto a cloud of infatuation. Taking a new relationship slow gives you time to pay attention to detail. The excitement might enrapture you but you must stay circumspect before completely falling for the wrong person.
Judge how they respond to you, your advances, affections and moods. Are they willing to make changes for you and understand you? Or are they only in it for convenience?
12. Don’t be scared of fights
Fighting when just starting a new relationship does not happen as often but it is not impossible. If your partner is unhappy about something and is in a fit, do not run away from them. A new relationship requires a lot of work, dedication and consistency.
Freaking out over tiny relationship arguments is not a good look. Just because it’s new, doesn’t mean it’s going to be completely smooth. Stay, understand, reciprocate and fix the problem at hand.
13. Be careful with your vulnerabilities
When it comes to letting our guard down, most of us prefer doing it gradually. You might often ask yourself, how to start a relationship slowly? One way to do that is to be careful with all that you reveal about yourself. Not every sad story is date conversation.
One should only open up completely when the trust has been fostered. If you put both feet in two quickly, you might be more susceptible to being hurt or betrayed, especially if you already have trust issues. Take baby steps and you’ll find your way.
14. Don’t make them the center of your life
It’s only a new partner. While that is great and exciting beyond comparison, you still have your old life to look after. Taking a new relationship slow requires you to also slowly weave your new partner in the other parts of your life. You don’t need to diminish other activities and friends to make room for them!
15. Get acquainted with their body language
As highly expressive beings, we tend to communicate a lot by means other than our words. Words are easy, simple and direct. There is a different sexiness to body language signs and unique gesticulations.
They say eyes are a window to the soul, but a person’s non-verbal cues are truly underrated in the same regard. A lot of our feelings reflect through our posture, gestures and expressions.
16. Don’t bombard them with questions about the future
Yes, worrying about the future is natural. You probably want to make sure that there is one. Starting a relationship can make you feel super jittery about what the future holds and what the next few years of your life might look like.
However, constantly talking about the same and asking your partner questions about their ideals might put a little pressure on them. Take each day as it comes, enjoy it to the fullest and forget stressing about what may or may not happen. Furthermore, your partner might feel intimidated easily if they don’t yet have the answers to your questions.
Related Reading: We Couldn’t End Our Relationship Nor Do We See A Future Together…
17. Get a hold of your expectations
While the newness might enrapture you into thinking that this is it or that she might be the one, let’s hold that thought for a moment. We want every relationship to last until the very end and see ‘the one’ in every person that we date. I’m sure experience must have told you already that it is just not the case.
That does not mean you have to divest either. Stay, understand, tell someone you love them and create something wonderful. However, also be smart about things and don’t start planning a wedding with the person you’ve just started dating.
18. Keep jealousy aside
One of the most important new relationship tips for guys is to keep their macho, overprotective tendencies away. A lot of guys think that behaving possessively when starting a new relationship will show their commitment greatly.
However, most women do not enjoy it beyond a point. A new relationship is about building trust, commitment and honesty. Signs of unhealthy jealousy will only stir annoyance into your relationship.
19. Be reciprocal when starting a new relationship
When it comes to gestures, text messages or sweet nothings – make sure to try to reciprocate the love that your partner showers so generously. Sweet actions should go back and forth in a new relationship. It drives home the point that you are in this as much as they are. You do not want your new partner left wondering whether you like them or not!
Related Reading: 10 Proven Ways To Show Someone You Love Them
20. Do not put them on a pedestal
In a new relationship, your world might seem to revolve around your new love. As you peel the layers of their personality and get to know them, you might fall more and more in love with them. Soon, you might even be enchanted by them to a point where you stop thinking about yourself.
Your self-respect and worth are more important than any relationship. You must make sure to not sacrifice that. Ensure that you are being treated with the same respect that you give to your partner.
21. Build upon your past learnings
Your past relationships must have left you with a plethora of life-changing lessons. Whether it was some deep emotional realization or a problem-solving strategy – tap into these learning to build a strong foundation for your new relationship. This will help you make much better choices!
Starting a new relationship sounds exciting now, doesn’t it? It takes a little work but that is the case with love. It’s not a simple game of Ludo but rather a complex maze. With the right person by your side, you will never want to exit this maze!
A new relationship is exciting and offers you a lot of new and interesting things to explore in another person.
Even though the relationship is very new and you might want to spend all your time with your partner, you have to give breathing space to them and to yourself. Do not saturate someone with so much attention that they become uncomfortable.
In a serious relationship, you have to be honest and open about your expectations and feelings. Moreover, you have to give them valuable time and invest energy in their needs as well.