Relationships 101

15 differences between love and infatuation

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Some people think that there is a fine line between infatuation and love, but they are way different than you think. What you think to be love, could just be the idea of love that you are infatuated with. In the battle of infatuation vs. love, when do you know which one you are in?

15 differences between love and infatuation

Many times we have felt so strongly for someone that we feel that we are in love with them. There is this rush and strong desire from within that makes you want to be with that person almost every time. We mistake those feelings to be love, but in reality, it is just mere attraction that appears in a heightened form to us. It is actually infatuation coming in the disguise of what appears to be love. Love and infatuation are start off almost the same way – but infatuation is short lived while love is eternal.

More or less, teens and even adults sometimes get confused when evaluating their feelings. Has something like this happened to you as well?

Read these 15 signs to know the difference between love and infatuation and ensure that this doesn’t happen again.

1. Constant rush of feelings

Infatuation gives you this constant rush of feelings when you are with or without your crush. There are butterflies fluttering everywhere in your stomach. Love calms those emotions and gives you a sense of security and completeness. When those rushed feelings calm down and you still feel the same, it is love.

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2. Control of your actions

In infatuation, you take decisions rationally from the brain. It is all about pros and cons. You see it like a business deal – seeking the benefit that you can derive from it. Decisions and actions in love are driven by the heart and emotions. You think about your partner first before you make any decision and put his/her needs above yours. It is not about deriving benefit, but making your partner happy.

3. Infatuation doesn’t last

Infatuation is short-lived because it is not real. You think that you are developing feelings where it can just be some sort of attraction. Once you past the attraction phase, you will realise that all those feelings are gone. Infatuation will wear off sooner or later. Love has a tendency to stay longer, as those feelings are based on a deep emotional and physical connection.

4. You are always eager

When you are infatuated, patience isn’t your strong suit. You have this desperation and want everything to go at a fast pace. You don’t get about getting to know the person and just want to move forward because of this rush. Love is a gradual process that involves getting to know each other, building a connection and feeling secure.

5. It’s not been that long

How many days has it been since you’ve known this person: a week, a month or a year? It has not been even a month since you’ve known this person and you are already making promises to stay together forever. This is your infatuation talking. Infatuation just makes you fall in love with the idea of a person or the idea of love. Once you know a person properly enough to go past both the good and bad, that is when you are actually in love. Till then, it’s just the idea of love that you are clinging on to.

6. You easily get green with jealousy

In the battle of infatuation vs. love, jealousy plays an important role. The foundation of your relationship hasn’t formed yet and thus feelings such as trust and understandings are lacking. You thus get easily jealous, because a part of you knows that the foundation of your relationship is based on infatuation and you can easily be replaced when true love comes into the picture.

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7. There is no deeper connection

Other than physical attraction, there is no other bond that you share with that person. Your connection with that person is simply limited to his/her physical appearance and the materialistic qualities of that person. Love is when you feel this deep connection and share a strong bond that is above all kinds of attraction.

8. Commitment, but only to yourself

When you feel infatuated, the only thing that you are committed to is your ideas, your imagination and yourself. There is no ‘we’ involved. Love requires commitment to both yourself and your partner, which comes over the time through patience, dedication and understanding.

9. It’s all superficial

Infatuation is superficial and materialistic. You are attracted to all the materialistic qualities and go past things that actually matter. Love does not attract you to the materialistic qualities. It is all about the person who your partner is from within.

10. Delusional vs. unconditional

Infatuation makes you fall in love with the idea of love and not in love itself. It creates a perfect idea of how your fantasy would look like. Love is unconditional and may be imperfect. Loving someone unconditionally by going past all those imperfections is what it is all about.

11. Love or lust?

Which is the main emotion that is driving your emotions? Is it lust or love? The constant feelings that you have for your partner tell you what you actually feel for him or her. If you are always thinking sexually about your partner, then it is physical attraction speaking. If you feel a sense of comfort when you see your partner, then you know that it’s love.

12. The real deal

When you are infatuated, you are just attracted to what is on the outside. You don’t even feel like knowing the actual person within. Love is when you know the actual person’s flaws and weaknesses and don’t feel any different about him/her. That is what the real deal is all about.

13. Communication between you two

In infatuation, there is minimal communication involved, because you both spend most of your time obsessing over each other. Two-way communication helps in creating a bond between the two of you so that you feel a deeper connection, which is what happens in love. You focus more on communicating with your partner than obsessing over him/her.

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14. Making sacrifices

Your infatuated self will not want you to make sacrifices for your partner. It is because a part of you knows that your feelings aren’t strong enough to make you do so. Love makes you make unconditional sacrifices for one another without thinking twice.

15. Intensity of feelings

Infatuation makes you feel intense emotions, but these emotions are merely constrained to the physical aspects of the person. When it comes to deeper feelings, there is this void that you feel. Love is intense in every aspect. You feel this intensity in emotions, understanding, trust and feelings for the person, irrespective of his/her physical aspects.

Everyone’s psychology about love differs and thus many mistake infatuation for love. Though one’s psychology may differ, what doesn’t change is the way you really feel about that person. Always look for the real deal and you will get the answer whether you are in a fantasy called infatuation or close to the reality of love. Love may or may not be forever, but you know how fast infatuation can vanish. Think these points through and know for sure whether you are in love or just feeling infatuated, thinking it to be love.

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