So, you’re dating a gamer. And you’re just realizing that to a gamer, a “party invite” is a call from friends on PlayStation (that’s literally what it’s called), Steam is a gaming library instead of evaporation, and Twitch is their Netflix.
Dating a gamer is a bad choice, you may think, judging by how they’ll pick their games over you anytime and every time. While that’s only 10% true (okay fine, 15%), it doesn’t mean they can’t be good partners in a relationship. In fact, there are many perks of dating a gamer, like never having to worry about them cheating on you since they’ll be too busy gaming.
If you’re dating a gamer or trying to date a gamer, you know sometimes you’ll randomly have to wait an hour before a text comes back your way. The text being, “sorry was AFK” (away from keyboard). Whether they like to immerse themselves in a make-believe world or not, you shouldn’t doubt their seriousness just because they’re into gaming. Here are 13 things to know about dating a gamer, told to you by a gamer himself.
Dating A Gamer – 13 Things To Know
Of all the pros and cons of dating a gamer, a notable pro is that the internet is always impeccable at their house, and if they pause that game to text you back, you know that’s a sign of a serious relationship. Sure, getting their attention might be a little difficult, but hey, at least you know they’re willing to pause a very persuasive hobby to text you instead.
Dating a gamer can undoubtedly have its ups and downs. They’re crying about being broke until you realize it’s because they spent an abysmal amount on new equipment. Sometimes it may seem impossible to get them to look at anything else but the screen, and you may be even left wondering if the game is more interesting or you are. It’s the game. Just kidding, relax. (Or are we?)
Plus, the stages of dating a gamer might have you bamboozled from the get-go. At first, the seemingly innocent “I’ll text you later, playing a game right now” messages you got didn’t seem like a big deal. Only after the first few months do you realize that “a game” turns into 10, and “I’ll text you right back” means you better put on a two-hour-long movie.
Even so, it’s not enough reason to say something like “gamer boyfriends are the worst.” Are they really the worst when you know that their Saturday nights are spent glued to a screen and not out in clubs with random people you don’t know? Owing to the stigma around gaming, it may seem difficult to deal with a gamer boyfriend at first, but you’ll realize that this hobby doesn’t mean that you’ll be ignored in your relationship for the rest of your days.
So what is it like dating a gamer? Will Mario always be more important than you? Or will you end up being addicted to gaming too? We’re here to tell you 13 things you should know if you’ve found yourself dating a gamer.
1. When dating a gamer, lose the stereotypes
First things first, get rid of all your misconceptions. Not all gamers are overweight, not all gamers are introverts and lonely, not all gamers are jobless and no, not all gamers are guys (yes, dating a gamer girlfriend is as wonderful as it sounds).
No, you won’t have to figure out how to “deal” with a gamer boyfriend or a girlfriend. Their hobby will not disrupt your relationship as long as they can keep it in control. The stereotypes about gaming have plagued the community since its inception, and the taunts about them hurt. Abolishing all stereotypes is probably one of the most important tips for dating a gamer we could give you.
2. Lag rage is real and no, that’s not what they’re like IRL
You’re toward the end of a game, you’re about to win it, but suddenly you lag and get disconnected. This rage has resulted in thousands of broken controllers, mouses and keyboards. If you were to ever encounter gamer rage, no that is NOT an indication of them having anger issues and/or how they’ll behave with you in the future.
We’re not children, we know how to control our anger (unless the internet gives way again, then it’s a different story). Even so, perhaps a notable con in the list of pros and cons of dating a gamer is that you’re going to hear them screaming at their screens from the room they’re in. Make sure you keep your AirPods handy.
3. You never need to worry about what to get them
When listing out the pros and cons of dating a gamer, the number 1 pro has to be that gift shopping is never going to be a hassle. Birthdays and special events will leave you racking your brain no more, since buying a gift can be as simple as a trip to an electronics store.
If they’re a PC gamer, get them a better mouse. Console gamer? Get them a better controller. If they’re a mobile gamer, tell them to stop calling themselves a gamer. Just kidding, get them a phone controller, or whatever they’re called.
4. You may need to deal with constant disappearances
While we’re listing the pros and cons of dating a gamer, we thought it’d be a good time to mention that gamers have a 100% tendency of leaving your message on read and replying an hour later. While this is annoying and undoubtedly anger-inducing, it’s nothing some good old-fashioned communication can’t fix and it’s not really a relationship red flag.
And by good old-fashioned communication, we mean a stern “you better reply or I’m reporting your Steam account” message. Just the thought of their gaming account being banned will scare them straight.
5) “One last game” means 20 more minutes
One of the most important tips for dating a gamer would be to never fall for the “one last game” trap. It’s a vicious cycle of pleas and requests that will only leave him/her playing on for another 20 minutes while you’re out there losing your mind enough to go and unplug their PC (that’s like killing a family member, please think twice before you do this).
Plus, the stages of dating a gamer will fool you into believing that this is never going to happen to you. If you’ve just gotten into a relationship with a gamer, chances are they’ve successfully fooled you into thinking that they don’t game as much. But sooner or later, even if they don’t game all that much, you’ll realize that “one last game” is never just one last game.
Related Reading: How Do You Give Someone Attention In A Relationship?
6) Sometimes addiction does get the better of us
Much like anything else in the world, too much of anything is bad for you. When we spend every free minute trying to get a win in that battle royale or trying to score a goal in FIFA, it’s possible that the “hobby” will creep into other parts of life.
Practicing self-control is important. Gaming can be an addiction just like any other. If you’ve got to deal with a gamer boyfriend who’s addicted, start by opening the windows (an actual window, not the OS!) and reminding them that the sun exists and so does a world outside their screen.
7) Playing a game together could be a great couple’s activity
There’s nothing more your gamer partner will enjoy more than playing a game with you. Don’t worry if you’ve never gamed before, they’ll gladly teach you as it’ll just make them feel more needed. It’ll be a great couples activity and might even get you two closer together.
If you’ve ever thought, “my boyfriend is a gamer and I’m not”, just try asking him to find a game you two can play together. You’ll see his face light up in a way you’ve never thought possible.
8) Dating a gamer means you’ll never feel a space jam
You’ll never feel smothered while dating a gamer nerd. They know the importance of personal space and they give you yours in abundance. They know how important having a life outside of the relationship is. So all those people who said “gamer boyfriends are the worst” or that dating a gamer is a bad choice and are now asking you what is it like dating a gamer, you can always brag about not having a possessive partner.
9) Even if it seems like it, they’re not picking games over you
Now that we’ve told you that’s not the case, you should be feeling a little better. But that doesn’t satisfy the itch inside of you, does it? It still feels like you’re being neglected for a stupid game. Well, what do you do then? Disconnect their WiFi? Beat them at their own game? No wait, don’t ever do that. That will be soul-crushing.
Instead, what you should do is just communicate with your partner. Tell them what’s bothering you and if their “personal time” is getting way out of hand.
10) If something important comes up, gaming can wait
Gaming is not such a sacred prayer that whilst performing, the performer shalt not be disturbed. If something important has come up, you should tell your partner you expect them to drop what they’re doing to help you out.
But this also doesn’t mean gaming is useless and can and should be paused every time you wish to talk to your partner. Think of it as your partner exercising some personal time. They’re simply doing whatever they want during their personal time. Now if something comes up, and you need help, you’ll call them and they’ll help, right? It’s the same if they’re gaming.
Related Reading: How Much Space In A Relationship Is Normal? Balance Is Key!
11) Gaming does not completely define their personality
Just because they game doesn’t mean that’s all there is to their personality. It doesn’t automatically make them only a nerd gamer who wears glasses and sits in front of his screen all day. They may enjoy other things, possibly more than gaming as well. Get to know them better, they might have multiple other interests.
Gamers are usually artistic and have their heads in the clouds. If you’re dating a gamer girlfriend/boyfriend, we hope you never assume that gaming is all they do. Granted, they do it for five hours every day but that’s not all they do.
12) If they say goodnight early, there’s a 90% chance they’re gaming instead of sleeping
A lot of gamers are not going to be happy with me for being the whistleblower here. The truth is, if you suspiciously receive an “I think I’m going to sleep, I can’t keep my eyes open!” text at 10 pm, they’re most probably going to throw their phone away to go game.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, this will hurt more (but with some effort, it’s not too hard to maintain communication in a long-distance). There’s no harm in this as such, but honesty should still be aimed for in a relationship. But hey, at least they’re not cheating on you, right?
13) Gamers are usually very patient
Constant internet issues, encounters with cheaters (in-game, hopefully not in real life), frustrating results and poor performances, gamers have seen it all. They know the dedication it takes to get good at a multiplayer game. And if they’ve put the time in and are fairly decent, you can bet your last dollar on them being patient.
This basically translates to them not losing their mind if you can’t decide what to eat or if you like keeping expired eggs in the fridge (who even does that, you ask? Psychopaths. That’s who).
Out of the many perks of dating a gamer, we’re going to leave you with the most important one: they’re good with their hands *wink wink*. Seriously though, dating a gamer nerd isn’t just all dealing with his/her antics. Gamers can make you laugh and introduce you to a world you might never have stepped into before. So go ahead and text them, “you clutch all the time in-game, it’s time for you to clutch in a private lobby with me” It’ll work, we promise.
Gamers are usually patient and good at problem-solving, so it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if you’re dating a gamer. As long as gaming is just a hobby that they can control, you wouldn’t have to worry about them spending all their time gaming the night away either. Plus, you might just realize that you like games too when they get you hooked on them.
Video games will ruin a relationship if the person playing them has no control over the amount of time they spend doing so. Much like any other addictive hobby/obsession would damage a relationship, if a person is spending more time gaming than with their partner, it’s bound to harm a relationship.
But if a gamer does not let this hobby/career path disrupt the time they spend with their significant other, gaming can not ruin relationships.
While studies have proven that addiction to gaming very clearly leads to marital dissatisfaction, putting a number on how many divorces are caused by video games is rather tricky. Unless a partner is helplessly obsessed with gaming, it probably won’t be the sole reason for a divorce.