Dating a lawyer sounds fascinating. It’s hard not to fall for their quick wit and charm. They possess a certain degree of confidence and intelligence that many people find quite alluring.
And when it comes to dating a lawyer jokes this one takes the cake…
What is it really like dating a lawyer? Those who have dated one say that while on the one hand you could be floored by their sense of humor on the other hand they tend to be the over-analyzing kind. They can twist every scenario to make the scales tip in their favor and their need for winning an argument can be overwhelming, to say the least. Do you think you would be able to handle marrying a lawyer?
This is not to suggest that lawyers are un-dateable. However, it definitely helps to understand the disadvantages and advantages of dating a lawyer to know what you’re signing up for.
What Is Dating A Lawyer Like?
The first question people ask is do lawyers have time to date? The short answer is yes, but it is a little more complicated than that. Yes, lawyers date, so whether you are dating a female lawyer or a male one, you will have a chance to build a relationship with them.
However, a lawyer’s schedule is busy. If you are the type of person who needs your partner to be around, dating a lawyer might not be for you.
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You have probably heard some of the jokes of dating a lawyer. , that they never get to a party on time, that they start with the word “objection” when they get into a fight or how lying becomes a part of their system. Case in point:
Partner: I love you
Lawyer partner: Do you have evidence to support your statement?
Well, as hilarious as these jokes may be, we are here to help you separate fact from fiction and let you really know what it’s like dating a lawyer. Here are a few things to bear in mind:
- Cold and detached: Lawyers have an objective bent of mind and they bring it to their relationships too. This can make them come across as cold and detached
- Lack of affection: Lawyers may not make the most affectionate partners
- A world of their own: Their world is made up of things only lawyers understand. If you’re not from the same field, there’ll be a part of their life you’ll never truly understand. This may mean feeling like a bit of an outsider when socializing with their coworkers or lawyer friends
- Long work hours: They work long hours, which means you will be on your own a lot. This can be a good thing if you’re someone who enjoys quality ‘me time’. But if you need emotional and physical availability to thrive in a relationship, think twice before you try to make a lawyer fall in love with you
- Not enough time: Your date nights may not be elaborate. In all likelihood, you won’t get to go out with you early evening and stay out till midnight. Movies, drinks, dinner all on a single date becomes a distant dream, especially when you’re dating a workaholic lawyer
- Know-it-all: Your lawyer partner may have a bit of a know-it-all attitude. You may find them correcting you over things big and small
- Perfectionists to a fault: They’re sticklers for detail and strive for perfection, and inevitably bring that trait to their relationships as well
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11 Things You Should Know About Dating A Lawyer
So, you have been around more than a few cute lawyers. Their charm, charisma and striking personalities have left you entertaining the idea of what it’d be like to date one. If things progress well, you may even be open to marrying a lawyer.
But before you start weaving your fantasy world of what your relationship would be like, it helps to gain a realistic perspective of the disadvantages and advantages of dating a lawyer. This will help you manage expectations realistically and make the most of what your partner has to offer.
Here are 11 things about dating a lawyer that you should be mindful of:
1. Lawyers have high standards
Lawyers like the finer things in life and tend to have high expectations from their partners. Since they do not get to spend as much time as they would like with you, they want every date or moment spent together to count.
If you are considering dating a lawyer, you should know that it takes a person of a certain caliber for them to even take notice. You also need to keep things interesting when dating a lawyer as they can get bored quite easily. Your dating etiquette must be on point right from the first date so that they don’t get put off or lost interest. It may also be a good idea is to get him to chase you and he would enjoy it thoroughly.
2. Lawyers are in a very stressful profession
Being a lawyer is very stressful. Other than the moral pressure they face from having someone’s fate rests in their hand, lawyers have to constantly be prepared for arraignments, meeting, gathering information and so on.
You might know this by now, but no one seems to talk about what this means for the lawyers’ life. Such levels of stress frequently leave lawyers feeling burnt out and agitated. It gets difficult to hide agitation from the people closest to them which means you will frequently meet your partner when they are in a bad mood.
3. You will attend fancy parties
We have all heard that dating a lawyer means getting a taste of the finer things in life. They like to throw their money around. While this may not be true in their personal habits, it is certainly the case when it comes to the lavish parties they host.
When you’re dating a female lawyer or a male lawyer, you will gain access to some high-profile social events. Perhaps, even get to rub shoulders with the who’s who of your city. At the same time, marrying a lawyer means occasionally having to host such parties.
Some people could consider this among the advantages of dating a lawyer or marrying one, as you get a taste of the high life.
4. Work tends to follow them home
We have heard jokes about lawyers that they are always on the clock, even at home. This isn’t entirely true. While lawyers do have the time to date, they do tend to bring their work home with them in the case of a court hearing or something similar.
This does tend to happen quite frequently, so you might sometimes ask yourself can lawyers be romantic? Many people consider this a large disadvantage of dating or marrying a lawyer. However, this busy schedule doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship cannot sustain in the long haul or you’ll fill the role of a trophy partner at best.
By scheduling date nights, being spontaneous in your plans and prioritizing overcoming communication gaps in the relationship, you can build a strong, lasting relationship with your lawyer partner.
5. Marrying a lawyer means you will have space
Lawyers have hectic schedules, between arraignments, briefings, cases and studying, they don’t have a lot of free time in their day to spend with their significant others. As a result, you’d be spending a lot of your nights without your partner around.
This can really be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you’ll never have to worry about space in the relationship. On the other, it can get lonely at times. One of the most crucial dating a lawyer tips is not make the relationship the be-all and end-all of your life.
Use all the free time at hand to pursue your own interests, hobbies and passions, nurture your bond with your friends, family and coworkers or contribute to a cause close to your heart.
Related Reading: How Do You Set Emotional Boundaries in Relationships?
6. Don’t expect romantic gestures too often
Lawyers are great at giving gifts. They’d lavish you with fancy, expensive, extravagant gifts from time to time. However, what lawyers are not great at doing is giving you their time, since they have so little to spare.
Due to these time constraints, there are few moments where lawyers can take the time to truly plan a romantic gesture. They do however spare no expense when they want to show you how much they care about you.
7. Arguments are going to be one-sided
Sadly, this is another joke about dating a lawyer that turns out to be true. Ever since your partner was in law school, they have been trained to think of things analytically based on the ‘evidence’ at hand. This mentality carries over into their personal life.
While dating a lawyer you might find that they value rationality over sentimentality. When emotions and tempers are raging high on your end, their cool, composed and methodical approach to handling arguments can become overbearing.
Of course, when one person is operating from a place of reason and the other is feeling emotionally volatile, the odds of winning arguments naturally tip in the favor of the former.
8. News and politics are going to be frequent points of discussion
An inescapable fact of dating a lawyer is news and politics will intrude into your personal life. They will have very strong views on most subjects and are prepared to defend them fiercely.
Many people consider this the biggest con of marrying a lawyer as politics is one of the topics couples tend to fight about the most. If you have ever asked yourself should you marry a lawyer, remember that they are smart and have the evidence to back up their opinions.
9. They will try to understand your point of view
Another thing lawyers are great at is trying to see this from the other person’s perspective. This actually helps them win cases as they can anticipate how their opposition would try to proceed with the case.
This is one of the advantages of dating a lawyer as they will find it quite easy to understand your point of view, even if they do not agree with it. While arguing with a lawyer will still be hard, they will genuinely listen to what you have to say.
10. Lots of free perks
One of the perks of dating a lawyer is that you and your spouse will receive a lot of freebies from their employer and extremely happy clients. While this is solely your partner’s achievements, you get to tag along because they love you.
These trinkets of appreciation can include anything from free meals at a Michelin star restaurant to tickets to high-profile events and even holiday vouchers. The next time you’re contemplating whether or not to flirt with a lawyer, keep in mind how the quality of your life can improve should things click between you two.
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11. They will tend to overpower you
It takes a certain type of personality to become a successful lawyer. They need to be confident, intelligent, quick-witted and extremely dedicated to be effective in their profession. These traits can also make them slightly arrogant and ruthless, bordering on narcissistic tendencies in some extreme cases.
They will not concede easily and will most likely wear you down before you are able to wear down their defenses.
Hopefully, by now, we have been able to dismiss some of the myths surrounding dating a lawyer. While the perks do exist, dating a lawyer is not as glamourous as it seems. Not everyone has the stomach to put up with their lifestyle, attitudes and behavior traits. So, no matter how enamored you’re with cute lawyers, the decision to date one should not be made lightly.
Marrying a lawyer can be a bit of a mixed bag. While there are perks and a certain sense of stability when your spouse is in a well-paying profession, the demands of their professional life can take a toll on your marriage in the long run.
It is not uncommon for lawyers to want to marry someone from their own profession as it gives them a lot of common ground to connect with their spouse over. Besides, considering that things only lawyers understand, someone from their own field makes for a more compatible choice. But that does not mean that a lawyer cannot fall in love with and have a successful marriage with someone from a dramatically diverse field of work.
Getting to live the high life is one of the biggest perks of dating a lawyer. You will get a taste of the finer things in life, attend some of the most high-profile parties in town, be lavished with expensive gifts and enjoy the perks of your partner’s professional successes.
Considering that time is a luxury that most lawyers do not have, coupled with their tendency to overpower their partners and a compulsive need to win arguments and be proven right, dating a lawyer is definitely no walk in the park. But if you both love each other, you can make the relationship work. All you need is to learn to take their irritants as part of the package deal.