Dating a lawyer sounds fascinating, doesn’t it? It’s hard not to fall for their quick wit and charm. They possess a certain degree of confidence and intelligence that many people find quite alluring. If you’ve been captivated by their Harvey Specter-esque charm and you’re looking to have a relationship with a lawyer, you’ve come to the right place.
What is it really like dating a lawyer? Those who have dated one say that while on one hand, you could be floored by their sense of humor and intelligence, on the other, they tend to be the over-analyzing kind. They can twist every scenario to make the scales tip in their favor and their need for “winning” an argument can be overwhelming.
This is not to suggest that lawyers are undateable. However, it definitely helps to understand the disadvantages and advantages of dating a lawyer to know what you’re signing up for. Do you think you would be able to handle marrying a lawyer? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a bit of fun. Let’s take a look at a few things you should know.
What Is Dating A Lawyer Like?
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The first question people ask is do lawyers have time to date? The short answer is yes, but it is a little more complicated than that. Yes, lawyers date, so whether you are dating a female lawyer or a male, you will have a chance to build a relationship with them.
However, a lawyer’s schedule is busy. If you are the type of person who needs your partner to be around, dating a lawyer might not be for you. You have probably heard some of the jokes about dating a lawyer; that they never get to a party on time, or how they start with the word “objection” when they get into a fight or how lying becomes a part of their system. Case in point:
Partner: I love you
Lawyer partner: Do you have evidence to support your statement?
Well, as hilarious as these jokes may be, we are here to help you separate fact from fiction and let you really know what it’s like dating a lawyer. Here are a few things to bear in mind:
- Cold and detached: Lawyers have an objective bent of mind and they bring it to their relationships too. This can make them come across as cold and detached
- Lack of affection: Lawyers may not make the most affectionate partners
- A world of their own: Their world is made up of things only lawyers understand. If you’re not from the same field, there’ll be a part of their life you’ll never truly understand. This may mean feeling like a bit of an outsider when socializing with their coworkers or lawyer friends
- Long work hours: They work long hours, which means you will be on your own a lot. This can be a good thing if you’re someone who enjoys quality ‘me time’. But if you need emotional and physical availability to thrive in a relationship, think twice before you try to make a lawyer fall in love with you
- Not enough time: Your date nights may not be elaborate. In all likelihood, you won’t get to go out with you early in the evening and stay out till midnight. Movies, drinks, dinner all on a single date becomes a distant dream, especially when you’re dating a workaholic lawyer
- Know-it-all: Your lawyer partner may have a bit of a know-it-all attitude. You may find them correcting you over things big and small
- Perfectionists to a fault: They’re sticklers for detail and strive for perfection, and inevitably bring that trait to their relationships as well
If you’re dating a female lawyer, perhaps she’ll like a nice black blazer more than that bouquet of flowers all the other girls go for. To make sure you’re equipped with all the knowledge you’ll ever need, read on to find out every little thing you need to keep in mind. We don’t want you to be saying something along the lines of “why is dating a lawyer so hard?!” three months into it.
Related Reading: 15 Characteristics Of A Healthy Relationship
11 Things You Should Know About Dating A Lawyer
“I never thought I’d fall for someone who was helping me sue my landlord,” Jason told us, a 28-year-old architect who found himself head over heels for his lawyer. “We got to talking after the case, and she seemed like the most intelligent person I’ve come across, which really appealed to me. I knew I could be falling in love too fast and couldn’t help but think things like do lawyers fall in love with their clients or how to make a lawyer fall in love with you,” he added.
Just like Jason, have you found yourself falling for a cute lawyer? Their charm, charisma, and striking personalities have left you entertaining the idea of what it’d be like to date one. If things progress well, you may even be open to marrying a lawyer.
But before you start weaving your fantasy world of what your relationship would be like, it helps to gain a realistic perspective of the disadvantages and advantages of dating a lawyer. This will help you manage expectations realistically and make the most of what your partner has to offer. Here are 11 things about dating a lawyer that you should be mindful of:
1. Lawyers have high standards
Lawyers like the finer things in life and tend to have high expectations from their partners. Since they do not get to spend as much time as they would like with you, they want every date or moment spent together to count. If you are considering dating a lawyer, you should know that it takes a person of a certain caliber for them to even take notice.
You also need to keep things interesting when dating a lawyer as they can get bored quite easily. Your dating etiquette must be on point right from the first date so that they don’t get put off or lose interest. It may also be a good idea to get him to chase you and he would enjoy it thoroughly.
Do lawyers fall in love with their clients? We don’t know about “love” but a sharp suit and some nice jewelry are bound to get their attention. If you came here looking for tips for dating a female lawyer, make sure you’re in your Sunday best on that first date you go out with her.
2. Lawyers are in a very stressful profession
Being a lawyer is very stressful. Other than the moral pressure they face from having someone’s fate rest in their hand, lawyers have to constantly be prepared for arraignments, meetings, gathering information and so on.
You might know this by now, but no one seems to talk about what this means for the lawyers’ life. Such levels of stress frequently leave lawyers feeling burnt out and agitated. It gets difficult to hide agitation from the people closest to them, which means you will frequently meet your partner when they are in a bad mood.
3. You will attend fancy parties
We have all heard that dating a lawyer means getting a taste of the finer things in life. They like to throw their money around. While this may not be true of their personal habits, it is certainly the case when it comes to the lavish parties they host. When you’re dating a female lawyer or a male lawyer, you will gain access to some high-profile social events.
Perhaps, even get to rub shoulders with the who’s who of your city. At the same time, marrying a lawyer means occasionally having to host such parties. When you’re with a lawyer, you’ll never have to worry about being in a relationship with an introvert.
Some people could consider this among the advantages of dating a lawyer or marrying one, as you get a taste of the high life. If you’ve been trying to figure out how to make a lawyer fall in love with you, perhaps you need to find your way into one of these parties and make conversation with them – about news and politics, of course!
4. Work tends to follow them home
We have heard jokes about lawyers to the effect that they are always on the clock, even at home. This isn’t entirely true. While lawyers do have the time to date, they do tend to bring their work home with them in the case of a court hearing or something similar.
This does tend to happen quite frequently, so you might sometimes ask yourself, “Can lawyers be romantic?” Many people consider this a major disadvantage of dating or marrying a lawyer. However, this busy schedule doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship cannot be sustained in the long haul or that you’ll fill the role of a trophy partner at best.
By scheduling date nights, being spontaneous in your plans and prioritizing overcoming communication gaps in the relationship, you can build a strong, lasting relationship with your lawyer partner. If you’ve been wondering who do lawyers marry, it’s someone who understands that they may not be able to get all the attention in the world, but still want to make it work.
5. Marrying a lawyer means you will have space
Lawyers have hectic schedules, between arraignments, briefings, cases and studying, they don’t have a lot of free time in their day to spend with their significant others. As a result, you’d be spending a lot of your nights without your partner around. This can really be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you’ll never have to worry about space in the relationship. On the other, it can get lonely at times.
One of the most crucial dating a lawyer tips is not to make the relationship the be-all and end-all of your life. Use all the free time at hand to pursue your own interests, hobbies and passions, nurture your bond with your friends, family and coworkers, or contribute to a cause close to your heart. And if you’ve been trying to figure out how to make a lawyer fall in love with you, you can do so by simply not being too clingy.
6. Don’t expect romantic gestures too often
Lawyers are great at giving gifts. They’d lavish you with fancy, expensive, extravagant gifts from time to time. However, what lawyers are not great at doing is giving you their time, since they have so little to spare. Due to these time constraints, there are few moments where lawyers can take the time to truly plan a romantic gesture.
They do, however, spare no expense when they want to show you how much they care about you. In such situations, the best thing to do is to manage your expectations. If you don’t, you’ll be thinking things like “Why is dating a lawyer so hard?” when they forget about your anniversary because they were busy doing research for an upcoming case. Is it safe to date a lawyer? Not if you’re expecting a hopeless romantic, it isn’t.
7. Arguments are going to be one-sided
Sadly, this is another joke about dating a lawyer that turns out to be true. Ever since your partner was in law school, they have been trained to think of things analytically based on the “evidence” at hand. This mentality carries over into their personal life. While dating a lawyer you might find that they value rationality over sentimentality.
When emotions and tempers are raging high on your end, their cool, composed, and methodical approach to handling arguments can become overbearing. Of course, when one person is operating from a place of reason and the other is feeling emotionally volatile, the odds of winning arguments naturally tip in the favor of the former.
If you’re looking for tips for dating a female lawyer, perhaps try to disengage from fights when you know you’re wrong, and apologize. You’re not “winning” them anyway, might as well learn a few ways of conflict resolution in your relationship.
8. News and politics are going to be frequent points of discussion
An inescapable fact of dating a lawyer is news and politics will intrude into your personal life. They will have very strong views on most subjects and are prepared to defend them fiercely. If you’ve been asking yourself, “Who do lawyers marry?”, it’s definitely someone who can tackle them intellectually and take part in engaging and smart conversations with them about politics and news.
Many people consider this the biggest con of marrying a lawyer as politics is one of the topics couples tend to fight about the most. If you have ever asked yourself should you marry a lawyer, remember that they are smart and have the evidence to back up their opinions.
9. They will try to understand your point of view
Another thing lawyers are great at is trying to see this from the other person’s perspective. This actually helps them win cases as they can anticipate how their opposition would try to proceed with the case. This is one of the advantages of dating a lawyer as they will find it quite easy to understand your point of view, even if they do not agree with it.
While arguing with a lawyer will still be hard, they will genuinely listen to what you have to say. So if you’re dating a female lawyer (or a male one), you won’t have to worry about a lack of empathy in your relationship. Though they’ll stick to their “argument”, they’ll also be capable of seeing where you’re coming from.
Related Reading: How Do You Set Emotional Boundaries in Relationships?
10. Lots of free perks
One of the perks of dating a lawyer is that you and your spouse will receive a lot of freebies from their employer and extremely happy clients. While this is solely your partner’s achievements, you get to tag along because they love you. These trinkets of appreciation can include anything from free meals at a Michelin-starred restaurant to tickets to high-profile events and even holiday vouchers.
When you have a relationship with a lawyer, your biggest concern might be how to not let yourself be spoiled silly. The next time you’re contemplating whether or not to flirt with a lawyer, keep in mind how the quality of your life can improve should things click between you two.
11. They will tend to overpower you
It takes a certain type of personality to become a successful lawyer. They need to be confident, intelligent, quick-witted and extremely dedicated to be effective in their profession. These traits can also make them slightly arrogant and ruthless, bordering on narcissistic tendencies in some extreme cases.
They will not concede easily and will most likely wear you down before you are able to wear down their defenses. So, if you were wondering something like, “Is it safe to date a lawyer?”, perhaps their overpowering nature might temporarily pose a threat to your mental health, but we’re sure it’ll be okay.
Hopefully, by now, we have been able to dismiss some of the myths surrounding dating a lawyer. While the perks do exist, dating a lawyer is not as glamorous as it seems. Not everyone has the stomach to put up with their lifestyle, attitudes and behavior traits. So, no matter how enamored you’re with cute lawyers, the decision to date one should not be made lightly.
Marrying a lawyer can be a bit of a mixed bag. While there are perks and a certain sense of stability when your spouse is in a well-paying profession, the demands of their professional life can take a toll on your marriage in the long run.
It is not uncommon for lawyers to want to marry someone from their own profession as it gives them a lot of common ground to connect with their spouse over. Besides, considering that things only lawyers understand, someone from their own field makes for a more compatible choice. But that does not mean that a lawyer cannot fall in love with and have a successful marriage with someone from a dramatically diverse field of work.
Getting to live the high life is one of the biggest perks of dating a lawyer. You will get a taste of the finer things in life, attend some of the most high-profile parties in town, be lavished with expensive gifts and enjoy the perks of your partner’s professional successes.
Considering that time is a luxury that most lawyers do not have, coupled with their tendency to overpower their partners and a compulsive need to win arguments and be proven right, dating a lawyer is definitely no walk in the park. But if you both love each other, you can make the relationship work. All you need is to learn to take their irritants as part of the package deal.