Communication is the most vital foundational pillar that keeps a relationship alive and healthy. However, as busy schedules and preoccupied minds become the norm, meaningful conversations often take a back seat. If only you had a few relationship building questions up your sleeve, you and your partner wouldn’t have to spend date nights staring at your phones.
So, if you feel that your conversations with your SO are shrinking to discussing the essentials or bordering on mundane, you need to lap up this list of 36 relationship building questions.
This couple bonding questions will not only help to build emotional intimacy, these questions will deepen your relationship. By relationship building questions we mean questions that build trust in a relationship and intellectual intimacy as well.
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36 Relationship Building Questions To Ask Your Partner
‘So, how was your day?’
‘It was all right.’
‘How was work?’
‘Well, work was…you know…hectic.’
‘How are you?’
Does that sound familiar? If that’s how your conversations with your partner go more often than not, you are caught in the ‘How Trap’. It means your conversations revolve around checking in on each other and discussing everyday logistics.
This is not to say that the intent to connect through communication is missing. However, sometimes even the most vocal people find them themselves at a loss for the right words to make the conversation flow.
If that’s something you have to do day-in and day-out, the challenge of thinking of interesting things to talk about becomes even more imposing.
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Break the monotony with these 36 interesting relationship building questions. These questions will deepen your relationship.
1. What’s your favorite childhood memory?
This is one of those questions that will deepen your relationship by giving you an insight into your partner’s growing up years.
2. If you had a time machine, would you travel to the future or past?
A quirk question that will surely throw up some interesting details about the way your partner’s mind works. You might be thinking how can this question help build emotional intimacy but the answer will give you a peek into your partner’s nature.
3. Video calls or voice call – which one do you prefer?
If you ever go into the long-distance zone, you’ll know what to expect. Some people love video calls, while others find them too in their face. This will help you ascertain if you’re on the same page.
4. What is your idea of a perfect day?
Take notes as your partner spells this one out. It’ll come in handy when you want to plan a surprise for them or spoil them with lots and lots of pampering.
5. Which is the one memory you wish you could erase?
This is one of those tricky relationship building questions that will bring some skeletons tumbling out of the closet. If your partner is forthcoming in their reply, that is.
6. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you like to go on a date with?
Just a fun question that can elicit some interesting responses, as long as your partner doesn’t pick you. If it’s a Hollywood star then you know they love glamour, and if it’s with an author, painter or sportsperson then you know their preference.
7. Do you ever talk to yourself?
There are somethings that we all do in our private space but hate to admit to others. Getting to know these little quirks will help you get to partner better.
8. Is there a social cause you feel strongly about?
This is among the questions that will deepen your relationship. If your partner is passionate about a cause, you will respect them more for their sensitivity and empathy. And if you’re on the same page about, you’ll have discovered one more thing to bond over.
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9. Have you ever passed out in a bar?
It is one of the yes or no questions for couples. But that doesn’t mean the monosyllabic response has to be a dead-end. You can always build upon in by asking for details.
10. What would you like to be famous for?
Is there a closet singer or an aspiring writer lurking in a corner somewhere? Ask and ye shall find. This is a deep relationship building question that tells you about their aspirations.
11. If a genie were to grant you 3 wishes, what would you ask for?
Let’s just hope your partner isn’t that person who says, ‘I’d ask for 3 more wishes!’ *Rolls eyes*.
But if they play along, you can find out what desire they hold for in the deepest recesses of their heart.
12. Do you ever think about how you’d want to die?
Yes, it can be a spooky question to ask your partner. But haven’t we all thought about our exit from this world at some point.
Find out where your partner stands on this. After all, the whole point of this is to feel more intimate and connected.
13. Do you believe in the afterlife?
While you on the topic of life and death, ask them what they think lies beyond life. Is there an afterlife? Or reincarnation? This is among the relationship building questions that border on the spiritual realm.
14. What are the three things you admire the most in me?
Who says relationship building questions for couples have to be focused on your partner alone! Go on, turn the tables, and make it about you every once in a while. This question will deepen your relationship.
15. And the three things that annoy you the most?
You have to learn to take the bad with the good. Look at it as an opportunity to work on yourself and improve your relationship.
16. What was the one thing about your parents’ relationship that you’d like to imbibe?
After all, our parents influence our lives and minds deeply. This question may well inspire you to make your relationship healthier, stronger and better.
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17. What kind of a parent do you see yourself as?
If you don’t have children or they are fairly young, this is among the questions that will deepen your relationship by giving you a clear idea about what your future with your partner will look like.
Will they be the disciplinarian or a friendly figure? Will the responsibility of doling out tough love fall on you?
18. What is your biggest fear?
If you’re searching for questions to build emotional intimacy, bookmark this one. It’ll inevitably bring out your partner’s vulnerable side and help you get closer than ever before.
19. What do value the most about your friends?
Everyone’s idea of friendship and their equation with their friends are different. This question will help you understand how much your partner values theirs.
20. Do you think friendship is important in a relationship?
Honestly, romantic relationships where both partners are also each other’s best friends are the most charming and holistic kind.
To inculcate that in yours, you first need to know where your partner stands on this whole theory.
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21. If I were abducted, how long will you search for me before giving up?
It is one of the surefire questions to build trust in a relationship. Chances are most partners would say something on the lines of ‘I won’t rest until I find you’.
But pay attention to how much the thought of it unsettles your partner and you’ll know whether you can trust this person with your life or not.
22. How important is your career to you?
There is nothing wrong with a person being driven and focused on their professional life. In fact, it’s admirable. But there is a difference between being driven and obsessed.
This question will help you ascertain where your partner falls on the spectrum of ambition. This is a very important intimacy building question.
23. Which sitcom can you watch over and over again?
Are they a Friends fan? Or a Seinfeld fanatic? Do they lean in favor of How I Met Your Mother or dig the quirky Big Bang Theory? Find out, because it’ll determine what you’d end up doing on many a lazy Sunday afternoons.
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24. What is the one thing you can never joke about?
We all have some no-go zones in our lives. A painful breakup, strong affiliations, an issue we feel strongly about. Use this relationship building question to find out your partner’s.
25. Pizza or Chinese?
One of the must-ask relationship this or that questions. This can help save a lot of disagreements over what take-out to get for a movie night at home or an evening where you feel too lazy to cook.
26. Which is the one personal loss that shook you up the most?
Losing a loved one is never easy. There is a good chance that your partner has suffered such a setback. If you want to know them inside out, you have to be willing to ask some troubling questions.
27. What is your go-to song?
Everyone has a selection of their favorite numbers that they like to play on a loop in the car, sing in the bathroom or at a karaoke bar. Find out how similar or different your taste in music is.
28. Which one between coffee and chocolate would you choose?
Yet another fun relationship this or that question that will surely invite some passionate responses. This will tell you if you both believe in the same potion.
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29. What do you see in our future?
One of the fail-proof couple bonding questions that will give you clear insight into how your partner views your relationship. And also, whether you’re on the same page about where the relationship is headed.
30. What is your dream vacation?
A dreamy question that is bound to elicit a fantastical response. If you like what you hear, you can add it to your bucket list.
31. If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?
This is among the tricky relationship building questions that will tell you what your partner views as the biggest hits and misses of their life so far.
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32. What does your bucket list for the next 10 years look like?
Do they plan to scale a peak before they’re 40? Or become a CEO by 35? Does their life plan involve living on a farm in a quaint countryside? Get a sneak-peek into your partner’s future plans with this question.
33. What was the most heartbreaking moment in your life?
Yet another one of those questions to build emotional intimacy in your relationship. If your partner hasn’t been able to open up to you about a particularly dark moment in their life, this will give them the nudge to get over their inhibitions and talk.
34. What is your biggest regret?
Not being able to stand up to that bully in school. Passing off a great work opportunity. Not being there for a friend in need. What is the one regret that keeps your partner up at night?
35. What’s the one superpower you’d like to possess?
Would they rather be the invisible man or cure world hunger? It’s a fun relationship building question but it can lead to some interesting discoveries.’
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36. What is your idea of a perfect relationship?
This compilation of relationship building questions would be incomplete without this one. It can help you learn a lot about what is working in your relationship and what needs to be fixed.
When asking these questions, don’t make your partner feel like they’re being interrogated. Use them as building blocks for deep, meaningful communication. Reciprocate with inputs and responses of your own, let the conversation meander.
Couples can play sports together, go on hiking trips or cook and do household chores together to get closer to each other.
You connect at a deeper level with your partner through physical intimacy, through getting involved in activities together or doing something that they are passionate about like listening to music or playing an instrument.
Any questions that make their relationship fun and gives them something to talk and discuss about.
You bond with your significant other when you make love, when you go on dates, when you travel together and when you indulge in common interests like music and sports.