You know this woman. You like her. If you could, you’d send her cute puppy emojis all day long. Haven’t all of us been there? But here’s the thing: you don’t have her number. More importantly, you feel like it’s holding you back. If you could just have her number, you could make her see the charming person that you really are, and – in no time – you two would be going on dates, making love, and planning the names of the kids to come! But how to ask a girl for her number without sounding creepy? There are indeed smart ways to do that.
Okay, that might’ve been a stretch. But the point is that this distance of 10 digits is considered something that can make or break a potential relationship. Oh, and the dreaded question: “What if I come off as a creep?” Gentlemen, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that it’s actually not that difficult to ask a woman for her number. The bad news is that most of us have been terrible at something so simple, and that, coupled with the rampant abuse and harassment that women face because of men on a daily basis, has compromised their faith in us.
We are here to make sure you don’t get consigned to the ‘creep’ zone in her mind and the block list on her social media. Here are 8 enlightening points that’ll make your life easier and help you take that first step toward getting to know her better.
8 Smart Ways To Ask A Girl’s Number
No, you won’t end up giving off creepy vibes or make yourself look like a stalker if you know the right way to ask for her number. But what’s really the best way to ask a girl for her number? Is it good to be straightforward? Or should one go in a roundabout way? Is there really a way you can ask for a girl’s number without giving creepy vibes that have her looking for ways to get rid of a stalker? What can you do or say so that she would happily hand you her number?
Oh, there are just so many questions and really no way to not overthink this. Right? Well, wrong. Here are 8 smart ways in which you can ask a girl for her number. Use these right, and trust us, she will have a hard time saying ‘no’:
1. Don’t try to use obligation
All of us know at least one person like this. This is the ‘good guy’. This is the guy who, after a breakup, lists the number of things that he had done for his partner, cries about how ‘ungrateful’ she had been. To him, love is a bunch of business transactions!
This is also the guy who will do the woman a number of favors before asking her for her number. And in case of failure, this specimen scurries along to his friends with more tales of ungrateful women! If you’re going to be a gentleman about it, never use obligation as a means to get her number.
When asking a girl for her number, always remember that she’s under no obligation to honor your request. So don’t make it sound like she absolutely has to share her number and don’t give her grief if she refuses. It’s her choice and you have to be respectful of it.
2. Don’t go for her friends
If a woman had a rupee for every time some guy resorted to this method, she’d be a millionaire. From teenagers in tuition classes to adults in the workplace, getting a woman’s number from people who already have it is the most popular way to go about it.
It’s also downright creepy, so don’t be surprised if you’re left on read, or worse still, blocked right away. If you’re looking for her number, it might be tempting to get it from that male friend who already has it, but trust us: the move will backfire. Moreover, would you want the easy way to blow the chance of being with her that you might have had otherwise?
Related Reading: 5 tips to talk to an attractive girl
3. Sourcing it from WhatsApp groups isn’t the best idea
Whether your daily routine takes you to classrooms or to offices, chances are that you’re a member of at least a couple of WhatsApp groups. And what if the woman you’re dying to talk to is part of the same group? It might be tempting to just get her number from the common WhatsApp group and send her a PM. But don’t act on it just yet.
Ask yourself if you know this woman, and if you do, do you know her well enough to approach her? Considering the fact that she may be getting countless messages from creepy men already, you wouldn’t want yours to be added to that list. While there is no strict set of rules regarding this, ask permission before you talk to her, and always, always be polite.
Whether you want to ask a girl for her number at work or someone you connected with on a dating app, being direct about it is the best way to go. Sneaking into her DMs without her permission or consent is only going to put her off.
4. Don’t be clingy
Take it from us. If she wants to give you her phone number, she will. When asking for her number, slip your question in very casually between sentences. If she’s promised you her number but hasn’t sent it yet, give it time before you turn up your sad music.
Reminding her every day is only going to make it worse, and, for all you know, kill whatever chances you might have had of getting it! The best way to ask a girl for her number is to play it cool. You don’t want potential clingy boyfriend alerts to go off in her head. You know, as well as we do, that won’t bode well for you.
Once she sees this red flag, it won’t matter if you know how to ask a girl for her number in a funny way or be smooth about it. She is going to turn you down on your request.
5. Be straightforward
You might be thinking to yourself that this is the most obvious and intimidating way to go about it. But instead of coming up with an excuse to get her to give you her number, why not be honest? In this world of nameless and faceless Facebook profiles badgering women for their numbers, being straightforward has become a thing of the past.
So, walk over to her, tell her how you feel, and be your most polite self when asking her if she’d mind giving you her number. Making the effort to have a conversation in person and not on some chatbox lets you stand out from the crowd. However, if she doesn’t know you, chances are that she’ll feel uncomfortable, and we couldn’t blame her.
Note that interesting conversation and a foundation of trust can tip the scales in your favor! For instance, it can help if you know how to ask a girl for her number in a funny way. For one, humor may help take the edge off the request for both of you. She won’t feel like she’s been put in a spot, and if you can charm her with your witty one-liner, you have a good chance of getting her number.
Related Reading: Watch out, women hate dating these kinds of men!
6. Let your reputation speak for you
You have built a clean reputation over time. Use it now. If you really like her, then the smartest way to ask for her number is to tell her to run a check on you before she hands you her number. This will give her the confidence that you are not a creep or a stalker.
Tell her there is no hurry, she can give her number anytime she wants, and she can do her due diligence to make sure she is giving it to the right person. This could be an absolute winner. Asking a girl for her number doesn’t get more suave than this. You are exuding confidence and extending her the courtesy of taking this thing forward at a pace she’s comfortable with. What could be more charming than that!
7. Hand her your number
The best way to ask a girl for her number is to hand her yours. Tell her you don’t go around asking a girl for her number but if she is ever interested in a conversation over the phone, then she could call you or send a message. This way you leave the ball in her court and she doesn’t feel that you are harassing her for her number.
This way you avoid being one of those creepy, clingy guys most girls dread. Besides, doing so sends out a clear message that you’re not one to get obsessed with someone. This ought to put her mind at ease and give her confidence to reach out if she’s interested in you.
8. Don’t go round asking every girl for her number
This is the most important tip. Because we have told you the smart ways to ask a girl for her number, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you use these to get numbers from all girls you come across. Be selective. Only ask a girl for her number if you really feel a friendship or a relationship is possible with her.
If you ask a girl for her number at work one day and another the next, soon word will spread and you will be back in the tricky spot of being looked at as the creep who wants to slide into everyone’s DMs. Don’t view her as a conquest because eventually, she would understand that.
Related Reading: 10 Private Couple Messaging Apps For Secret Chatting
How To Ask A Girl For Her Number Online
If you’re looking for ways to ask a girl for her number in today’s day and age, the chance that you’d want to do it the old-fashioned way in a bar or a party is pretty slim. In all likelihood, she’s someone you’ve connected with on social media or a dating app and now want to take things forward. Knowing the right approach to how to ask a girl for her number online can improve your odds of success exponentially.
Given that you’re not going to be the only one vying for her digits, you’ve got to make sure you stand out from the crowd. That entails following some basic netiquette rules. Let’s look at a few common scenarios to make help you understand how to ask a girl for her number online without being turned down:
How to ask a girl for her number on Instagram
You see a girl, you like her profile, you slide into her DMs and ask for her number. Simple, right? Sure, it’s the simplest approach to land into her list of blocked profiles. But if you want to ask a girl for her number on Instagram and make sure she doesn’t say no, you’ve got to put in a little more effort than that and play your cards right. Here is a simple approach to ask a girl for her number on Instagram:
- Connect with her: Like her photos, if her profile is open, or send her a follow request, and then like a few of her recent posts. Don’t like her posts from three years ago though, you don’t want to be accused of cyberstalking
- Express interest: React to her stories often, and then use one of those to send her a DM
- Find a window of opportunity: Build a conversation from there and invest some time in getting to know her
- Ask for her number: Once you’ve established a rapport, say something along the lines of “I’m really enjoying talking to you and would love to get to know you outside of the Gram. Can I have your number?”
How to ask a girl for her number on DM
First of all, never slide into her DMs with creepy texts and unsolicited images, be it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or even a dating app. If you’ve connected with a girl you like on social media or a dating app, it’s imperative to gradually build a connection with her before asking for her number. Here’s how:
- Inspire interest: Don’t just lead with a plain ‘hey’ or ‘ssup?’. Make sure you use a more compelling conversation starter that she won’t be able to resist responding to
- Show interest in her: Ask interesting questions and get to know her better. It helps your case if she sees that you’re genuinely interested in her and not just another creep trying to get into her pants
- Develop a connection: Build a ritual around your texting routine, so that she begins expecting your messages around a specific time of the day or day of the week, depending on how the connection develops
- Open up to her: Let her get to know the real you. Be open and forthcoming in answering any questions she asks you
- Suggest taking things forward: Finally, when a good comfort level has been established, ask her for her number or leave yours, giving her the option to reach out if and when she feels ready
Related Reading: How To Make Online Dating Work? 8 Tips From Expert
How to ask a girl for her number on a dating app
Using the right approach becomes even more crucial when you’re trying to figure out how to ask a girl for her number on a dating app. Given that there are so many men mindlessly doing things that creep women out on dating apps, you have to plan your moves well. Since the intent of the connection is already clear on a dating app, you must make a conscious effort to let her know that you’re in no rush to take things to the next level. Here is how to ask a girl for her number on a dating app without making her regret matching with you:
- Take things slow: Don’t ask for her number soon after matching with her
- Get to know her: Take the time to get to know her, ask the right questions and be invested in the conversation
- Connect: Explore shared interests to build a connection with her
- Establish dating goals: Express your dating goals – whether you’re looking for a hookup, dating casually or something serious – right at the outset, so you’re both on the same page
- Make her want to know you: Be the charming guy she’d want to go out on a date with at some point but steer clear on hinting at meeting IRL too soon
- Take things outside the app: Once you get to a point where you spend most of your time on the dating app talking to her and not looking at other potential matches (and sense that she’s in the same place too), ask her for her number. Be a gentleman about it. You can try saying something like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you so far. If you feel the same way, perhaps it’s time for us to take things forward outside of this app. Can I have your number?”
The possibility of rejection is what keeps most people from asking a woman for her number. And while there’s no fail-proof way to go about it, follow these tips, and you won’t be deemed a creep!
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Thanks, this helps. There is this girl I have a crush on and we have known each other for just under 3 months. I enjoy hanging out with her and never really hint or express my feelings.