As an introvert, it can be pretty hard to date. Social interactions get tiring, and at times confusing. It is pretty hard to find any useful dating tips for shy guys. It seems like the confident people can find dates pretty easily while shy guys or introverts have to struggle for it. Sadly the struggle has just begun. As an introvert it has been hard for you to date just because you know how valuable your time to yourself is. Maybe now though, you want to try to get out there and meet a few people, if so, these dating tips for shy guys will certainly help you on your journey.
12 Dating Tips For Shy Guys
Let’s face it. Introverts look at the world differently. Introverts dating introverts is an different story altogether. What comes as the easiest and coolest thing for someone who is outgoing and easy with conversations, could turn out to be the most difficult thing for a shy guy. So when they meet someone they like and would like to do the dating scene with them like movies, restaurants and the likes, then they to do a few things their way for the date to work. Here are 12 dating tips for shy guys from us.
1. Don’t be the “nice guy”
Now this does not mean that you should be rude. No, this means that “nice” is not a personality trait. Simply being polite and courteous to women will not help you get a date as that is the bare minimum that is required. If you are nice, you are probably better than most of the guys hitting on her, but being nice does not make you interesting. Develop a personality and make sure it shines through. You want to make an impression on your crush. At the end, they should be able to say something about you other than “he was nice.”. Being nice will probably place you under the friendzone.
2. Improve the way you look
This does not mean something drastic like joining a gym or buying expensive clothing, although those will not hurt. There are other smaller things you can do to look better. As an introvert, initiating conversations with someone you like puts you way out of your comfort zone. Maybe you get nervous while talking to people, causing a few awkward situations. Whatever the case, grooming yourself can go a long way to making a good impression. Comb your hair, cut your toenails, use some lip balm or have a skin care routine, get some deodorant etc. These small acts can go a long way when it comes to dating.
3. Remember the 10-second rule
When it comes to dating, a shy guy needs to just be courageous for ten seconds. Ten seconds is about how long it takes to initiate a conversation, or to introduce yourself for the first time or even to ask someone out. The rest rely on things outside your control, like how their day is going and if they are in the mood to talk. Even if it looks like your crush is out of your league, you can get to talk to her by following this 10-second rule.
If talking to someone new feels like a daunting task and asking them out seems impossible, remember that all you have to do is be brave for ten seconds, it doesn’t take much longer than that.
4. Learn to make small talk
For introverted or shy guys, small talk can range from being boring to painfully awkward. Sadly this is something you need to learn. When you are courting or dating someone, there tend to be a few long silences at the start. If they happen too frequently though, the other person might get uncomfortable.
So here is a dating tip for shy guys, learn how to make small talk, it is an important skill to know. There are many ways you can practice, the most effective is talking to strangers. You can even try flirting – try once!
You do not need to seek anyone out in particular for this it could be the person sitting next to you on the bus or the person buying groceries next to you. The point here is not to make friends but for you to get comfortable making small talk to people you do not know. Else you will come across as boring and no one wants to date a boring guy.
Related Reading: When an introvert like me falls in love
5. Be proud of your hobbies
As an introvert, you probably do not talk about your hobbies or yourself in general, but your hobbies makes you who you are. You need to be proud of having the hobbies you have, to let the other person know who you are. Dating as an introvert is not easy, you need to let the other person know what you like and why you like it so that they do not have to struggle too much to think of what you two should do together. You might even get your partner to like them and dating gets much easier when you two have mutual hobbies.
6. Don’t cancel plans
One of the best feelings for an introvert is when plans get cancelled. I know this for a fact; it can be quite relaxing when the pressure of having to go out gets lifted. Doing this too often is dangerous. Try your best not to cancel plans or to make up for them if you do cancel. When dating someone, they need to know they can rely on your word. So do your best to stick to whatever plans you have made, even if you suddenly aren’t in the best mood for it. And please, never send texts when you have to cancel a date.
7. The first date
First dates are tricky territory for introverts. As such shy guys don’t get to date that often, so it is very important that the first date goes well, or there will not be a second one. For first dates, do something that brings out your chatty side. It is important that you talk, for you two to know each other better. For this reason, avoid going somewhere where you are uncomfortable talking, like the movies. Going out for an activity that you both enjoy is also a good idea.
A first date is not about where you go and it is not really about what you do either, it is about trying to give the other person a good time while having fun yourself.
8. Online dating
Online date is a great tool for introverts and shy guys. You have probably avoided it because it feels impersonal and you may believe that it takes the romance out of meeting someone, but online dating has a lot of benefits. For one thing, you do not actually have to go outside to meet someone new, a fact which makes introverts glad. If you are having trouble meeting someone or you just can’t seem to run into the right person, giving online dating a chance might be worthwhile.
Related Reading: Online dating: 8 must-follow relationship tips
9. How to meet new people
Meeting new people can be a challenge as a shy guy. If you’re a little old fashioned and online dating is not your cup of tea, then maybe a more traditional approach would suit you better. You could always ask a close friend to set you up with someone they know, that works for a lot of people. Or you could always try going to events or festivals that interest you and hope to meet someone there. Meeting new people is hard, but as a man, it has to be you who will put in the effort to interact with someone. It is not often that people will start approaching you.
10. Don’t always meet where you feel comfortable
As an introvert, it is pretty easy to fall into a routine that makes you comfortable. You would visit the same places, do the same things and it can get predictable at times. When dating, this can turn the relationship quite stale. So here is a dating tip for shy guys. It is important to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try new things with your partner.
Sometimes it is important to try doing the things that you’ve been avoiding. You might find that you enjoy it when your partner is around.
11. Shy guys over-think things
Over-thinking is something that a lot of shy guys and introverts do very often. You get stuck on a particular train of thought and you latch on to it causing an increasing amount of stress. Plus, you may already be suffering from new relationship anxiety. Try not to over-think about the relationship, it can be quite easy to get stuck in your own head, but panicking over things that are out of your control is not helpful. Try to focus on the positive aspect of your date and build on that instead, it is far more productive.
12. Avoid burnout
As an introvert, it can be quite draining and exhausting to always be around people, and planning dates and going outside. It can leave you tired, stressed out and in a bad mood. This is something you should be wary of. It is extremely important to take some time for yourself and be alone. There really isn’t any upside of forcing yourself to go out and do things when you know you will be bad company. So take some time to yourself, recharge and once you feel up to it, plan something else for you and your partner.
Even with all these tips though, there is still one hurdle that you might find is pretty hard to overcome. That’s shyness. You are probably thinking that a few or a lot of these things are hard to do for you because you are shy. Well unfortunately there isn’t much you can do to change that. In the dating world, it is often expected of the man to make the first move, and that can be extremely difficult when you are shy. But here is the thing, dating as a shy guy is much easier in real life than it is in your head. Your shyness might make you feel awkward at times, but the other person is just as curious about you as you are about them.