Does online dating work out in the long run? Can you really find love online? Do online relationships work? Is the love of your life really only a swipe away? If these questions have been troubling you lately, chances are you’re contemplating hopping on the bandwagon of seeking love through the internet. Well, don’t fret because a lot of people are now making their rounds on these apps.
The chances of locking eyes with a sexy stranger in a coffee shop and being asked out seem too good to be true for our generation, at least. Even so, the experience can be a little unnerving at first, given that contradictory opinions and rumors still float around the whole concept.
Online dating is the way of the future, there is no doubt about it. Many of us have tried the most popular online dating sites such as Tinder, TrulyMadly, Happn or Woo to either play the field or find true love. And a lot of us have asked ourselves or our friends in the past if online relationships really work.
If you’re wondering how to make online dating work, don’t miss this article! Tighten your seat belts and get ready to experience the roller coaster ride of the online dating world. With insights from dating and communications coach Geetarsh Kaur, founder of The Skill School, which specializes in building stronger relationships, you’ll learn all there’s to know about how to make online dating work.
How Online Dating Is Different And Better
Online dating is different and more comfortable than meeting someone in person in numerous ways. There is no pressure to call/video call with someone right away. You do not have to see or be seen by the person you might have a romantic interest in. Chatting is an excellent feature provided by online dating platforms, which allows you to judge a person before you decide to reveal yourself completely.
As Geetarsh points out, “There is less pressure of being judged online. But in offline interactions, every single thing you do is noticed and judged, right from what you eat to how you walk to how you carry yourself in front of the person. This is why online dating brings a sense of ease and comfort to people. Besides, online dating has fewer distractions and is more direct. When meeting on an actual date, there are many other factors around you two. But when speaking online, you can take time out as per your schedules and maximize the interaction.”
So yes, the pros are plenty. But does online dating really work? Let’s dig deeper.
We admit online dating does sound like a dream. Well, it’s true! You could get to know the person completely before you even choose to meet/call them. The screen in front of you protects your identity and keeps you safe from creeps. In the case of a faulty first judgment, you still have the option of understanding the person by the way he would text you.
Indulge in a few texting games if you like them and then take things forward. If you think this person is not worth a shot, you can cease the texting and choose to never be in contact with them again. This is how online dating is different from meeting someone in person. And this is how it’s better.
So if you’ve made up your mind that you do want to give this a go, well then we know how to prepare you for the same. Let’s talk about some of the dating online tips that can help you make it work!
How To Make Online Dating Work?
Here’s how you go about it first. Once the applications are downloaded on your mobile phones, you begin with setting up your account by inserting the necessary details. You’re asked simple questions, which begin with your name and might entail something more personal like your hobbies, zodiac signs, etc. This is done to let the app analyze which people on the platform you are most likely to be compatible with. This is also to let the person viewing your profile know a little bit about you. Writing a dating profile is also an art, we must add.
After setting up a profile, which includes a display picture, one can start viewing their prospective matches. If you are a boy who has stated his interest in girls, you would be able to view the profiles of different girls on your screen and vice versa.
These profiles might show their display pictures and if you’re interested and click on these profiles to know more, they will give you further details as well. Accordingly, you may right swipe – indicating your interest. Or swipe left, which means you’re not interested in a particular profile. A left swipe will make the next profile pop up.
Related Reading: Things Guys Do On Dating Apps That Instantly Creep Women Out
8 Tips To Ace Your Online Dating Game
Do online relationships work and perhaps grow into serious relationships eventually? Research about online dating shows that one-third of people who use online dating services will never meet the person they are chatting with online. Because the options are SO many!
Despite this, online dating seems to be gaining popularity and picking up the pace in recent times. Who has the time to mingle with new people physically when you could do it in your pajamas at home whenever you want? All you have to do is download different applications on your phone that would allow you to match with people you like.
Now that we’ve gone over the operations of a dating website, it’s time for the final piece. Let’s try to understand how to make online dating work with these 8 important dating online tips.
1. Be crystal clear about what you want
Being direct is the way to go in the world of online dating. If you’re looking for love, experts say, put it in your profile. This way you will attract less noise and more music, if you know what we mean. It will act as the first level of filter and get across only those who are also looking for love and commitment on dating sites.
Geetarsh tells us, “This is incredibly important. As humans, we thrive on one-on-one connections, which we seem to lose when dating online since it is technically an artificial interaction. This is why it is all the more necessary to put forth your words in the most crystal clear and correct manner which reflects all your intentions and feelings. When meeting offline, it is much easier to express our intentions. So it is always best to try to replicate that in your online interactions as well.”
A study conducted by the dating website Plenty of Fish found that people who used the word “love” in their profiles were more likely to be successful in finding meaningful relationships on the internet than those who did not.
Don’t pretend you’re up for something you’re not. Be clear and direct in your profile about looking for a committed, serious relationship, not a hookup situation. The more honest you are, the more quickly you will find someone who is like-minded and not waste your time lurking around these apps.
2. Do your own research about the online dating platforms
Odds are that you know somebody who has used some of the online dating sites or apps (even if they haven’t admitted it to you openly). This is why there are many different opinions about what is the best route to take when it comes to online dating. Some suggest that if you want to find a serious relationship via online dating, you should consider paying for it as you would through eHarmony or Match.com.
We feel before embarking on this new journey of online dating, you should do your homework on the best dating apps and sites for you. Don’t feel shy to ask your friends, family and coworkers about their experiences on online dating sites. Hearing their good and bad experiences can help you narrow down on the service that will work best for your interests.
3. Tread cautiously when taking things forward IRL
When you are meeting someone offline for the first time after communicating on online dating sites, you need to take certain safety precautions. After all, the world isn’t such a friendly place. And online dating apps are filled with romance scammers too. The astounding statistics on safety concerns vis-a-vis online dating are proof that it’s wise to err on the side of caution.
Do dating sites really work? They will if you play it smart and safe. The following basic measures can help keep you safe from the adverse outcomes of online dating:
- A public place: Meet at a public place where there are plenty of people around you two
- A backup friend: Consider taking a friend with you. Of course, they won’t be part of the date but they can always be in the vicinity. For example, if you’re meeting for coffee at a mall, your gang of girlfriends could plan a shopping trip to coincide with your date
- Keep family in the loop: Let trusted friends and family know where you will be well in advance. Keep them notified about any sudden change in plans
- Stay alert: While you are on the date trust your instincts and your feelings about them. If you notice anything off and feel uncomfortable, don’t let that feeling pass
- Don’t jump the gun: Do not go home with your date or give away personal information on the very first instance
- Do your research: Google your date (ensure there are no police records or red flags indicating that they could be out to catfish you)
- Don’t get in their car: Drive yourself to your date and back. Or take public transport. Don’t let your date pick or drop you
- Vet them first: Video chat with your date before meeting in person so you can at least confirm that it’s going to be the same person you were texting online with
Related Reading: 5 Reasons To Research Your Online Date Before You Meet
4. Set realistic expectations
Does online dating really work? Well, we have to admit that there is no success formula for falling in love with someone. But it is true that online dating helps make the process of finding someone to spend your time with a lot easier than scouring coffee shops and clubs, but nothing guarantees a happily ever after. By simply plugging in your information and your likes and dislikes, you can be matched with someone who you would never run into on a regular day.
One of the biggest relationship tips you can follow is to have realistic expectations when it comes to online dating. Don’t pour your heart and soul into each and every new date thinking that you’ll be riding off into the sunset together or that this person is going to be your life partner. Algorithms of online dating sites can align goals, locations, and interests for potential couples, but they cannot account for chemistry.
Geetarsh says, “In the process of finding the right companion, we start depending on others for validation. And this happens very quickly on dating sites. When you are unable to find the right match, things don’t work out and you keep going out with people only to come home and swipe all over again, you may feel disheartened.
“This pins your entire validation on your returns from these apps. Do remember that these people are only meant to enhance your life and not complete it. Your efforts might feel repetitive but keeping an open mind over and over again is important and also the real challenge here. It’s quite a process and it will take time.”
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5. Always give priority to communication
Does online dating work for guys? It sure will if you play your cards right, follow the dating etiquette and make the correct effort when talking to a woman. You may not be in a serious relationship yet, but that doesn’t mean that communication should be sent to the back burner. Even when you are talking to a person on any of the online dating sites, you should ensure there is no scope for a communication gap and that you are doing your best to have a fruitful and healthy conversation with them.
Couples should make communication a priority, no matter how long they have been dating online. Communication is the key to getting what you want out of a relationship. You must communicate your wants, needs, goals, and desires to your potential spouse or even a potential hook-up you’re supposed to meet at a bar next Friday. When they convey the same to you, you can meet in the middle and decide if you are actually right for one another and if your dynamic has any future at all.
Related Reading: 13 Tips To Date Online Successfully And Find Your Ideal Partner
6. Don’t let distance stand in your way
While most dating sites and apps allow you to search for singles in your vicinity, others will allow you to date people in different countries, states, and provinces. But do online relationships work when you’re based in two different cities? Well, that is a personal decision at the end of the day but it just might.
Geetarsh says, “One has to be really careful when getting into an online relationship as it will bring plenty of complications. It works for some people, it doesn’t for some but the challenges are all the same for everyone. Miscommunication, misunderstandings, time management are some hurdles that you might face.”
If you begin dating someone online who lives halfway across the world, be careful. Often, long-distance relationships work only when there is an end date in mind. If you have been dating your long-distance partner for a couple of months online and you feel like you have a serious connection, it may be time to finally start talking about the future and how they should ideally align at some point.
For example, if you’ve been together for a considerable amount of time, you should have a conversation about being together and taking the next step in your relationship.
7. Give up the temptation of finding a better prospect
Out of all the dating online tips, this is perhaps the most important one. Dating online isn’t as easy as it sounds. Yes, there are plenty of opportunities out there in the online dating world. But this can be a double-edged sword. The grass always appears greener on the other side when using dating sites or apps like Tinder because the options are just endless.
There are so many options for dates available that it’s quite easy to ghost someone who is perfectly attractive (and awesome to talk to) in the hopes that the next best thing is just a swipe away. One of the best tips to date online successfully is to focus on quality over quantity.
Don’t go swiping away in search of that perfect, imaginary partner when you have a potential match right in front of you that who you totally hit it off with. Maybe you had a really enjoyable conversation that night sitting on the rooftop which made you think that he just might be the one.
So don’t ghost him the next day because there are plenty of other profiles with ab pictures and you want to give them a go. Try to see things through if the chemistry is that strong. If you really connect with someone, don’t let them slip away into the unending irresistible maze of online dating sites. Because that is a bottomless pit, indeed.
8. Refrain from lying and unfair means
In the age of Catfish and reverse Google image search, your best bet when it comes to online dating is to avoid lying. Don’t use someone else’s photo, don’t stretch the truth about what you do for a living, and don’t emotionally mislead people you connect with. Do dating sites really work? Yes, they do but only as long as you’re following the rules and not playing any dirty games.
You want someone to fall in love with you for who you are. They can’t do this if they don’t know who you really are. So, don’t try to be someone you are not just because you are on the other side of the screen. Steer clear of sketchy people, and be as truthful as you would be had you met someone in a coffee shop or nightclub.
Geetarsh advises, “It’s important to reveal your true self on these platforms to enhance your credibility. How long can you really fake it? If you fake it, do know that the truth will certainly come out when you interact more and interact offline. So why would you want to ruin a potential date like that? Keep it simple, keep it real and ‘do dating sites really work?’ will no longer be a question you need to wrestle with after every failed attempt at striking a romantic connection.”
When it comes to online dating, remember to be clear about what you want. Don’t waste your time with creepers and those you aren’t genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship with. Most importantly, don’t throw away something amazing in hopes that something better is just around the corner.
Are you still asking yourself if online dating really works? If yes, it’s time for you to download some of these applications and get your hands dirty on your own now. With a few right swipes, you’ll hopefully be sitting across your beloved in a coffee shop soon and making conversation with them. Should you mess up a little, don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Just remember what you’re looking for and you’ll do great!
We hope your online dating journey has been made a lot simpler as we laid out these popular online dating tips. Experience would teach you a lot but a few general suggestions would always help you go a long way. By following these online dating tips you’ll be well on your way to finding the love of your life, even if you have already steered your boat through the multiple ports of online dating sites.
Two to three weeks is the most optimum amount of time you should give to a person you come across on online dating sites. It’s just the right amount of time to get to know them just enough but not too much that you end up overthinking and the spark fizzles. Having said that, every blooming relationship takes its own course. If it feels right sooner than that, you should surely go for it.
Though we always try to know what’s going on in the mind of the person on the opposite side of the screen, there are some things that truly give away in online dating. Make sure to notice if the other person replies instantly, compliments you, respects your personal privacy, shows interest in knowing about your day, makes an effort to know you more, shares about themselves, and you know you have a real catch.
There are certain things that can go wrong with online dating sites such as fraud, IT security breaches, risk of deception etc. So, some common red flags which you should be on a lookout for are display pictures with old-time/date stamps, different ages listed on the profile and disclosed by the person, too many photos showing off an upper-class lifestyle, messages containing strange links, an urgency to meet up offline, also an unwillingness to meet in real life, and finally trust your gut. It rarely lies.