27 Ways To Know If A Guy Secretly Loves You, But Is Too Shy To Admit It

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Have you spent restless nights thinking about your crush and wondering if you are on their mind too? Have you been looking for tips and tricks to figure out if a guy secretly loves you? The hardest and the most frustrating part of falling in love is not knowing whether the other person loves you or not. Are you looking for answers to how to tell if someone likes you? Well, the good news is that if a guy has feelings for you, there will always be subtle signs he loves you secretly. Yes, even if he is trying hard to keep his feelings under wraps.

We know and understand that one-sided love is a reality and might bring excitement into your life, but it does not mature into a healthy long-term relationship. Besides, men are not conditioned to be expressive about their feelings and find it hard to convey matters of the heart. This means, women (as usual!) need to put in the work and read the subtle signs. All you need is to know what are the signs he loves you deeply and looks for them in his behavior and body language around you.

Even the most introverted and shyest of guys give off certain signals to make it obvious that they secretly love you. Yes, it is natural to get confused and baffled because love is quite a complicated thing. So how to know if a guy loves you secretly? We’ll tell you about the signs someone likes you.

27 Ways To Know If A Guy Loves You Secretly

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Many guys are confident and do not hesitate to express their love and take the first step in the relationship by approaching their crush. However, some guys are genuinely shy and only give out very subtle signs to show their admiration toward the girl they’re interested in. They do find ways to make their love known but this is not direct or forward and can often be missed by girls.

If you have a crush on a shy guy and are dying to know whether he likes you secretly, then do not be disheartened because we are here to put an end to your confusion. We put forward 27 ways to know if a guy loves you secretly. Once you know these, you will be able to know if he feels the same way about you or not. These are the signs that he secretly loves you and are pretty easy to decode.

1. If a guy secretly loves you, he will always smile when you are around

How to tell if he loves you? As we said before, the signs he loves you secretly will always be there. All you need is to look out for them. The biggest giveaway of his feelings for you is that endearing smile that he will just not be able to rein in when he sees you. Simply put, just your presence will light up his face even when he is having a difficult day.

Even if he is in a bad mood and is avoiding other people, he will still make time for you and you will be the only one who will be able to bring a smile to his face. He will not avoid you and will always greet you with a pleasant smile because he wants you to acknowledge him and perhaps he wants to see your lovely smile as well.

signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it
He could be tired after work but seeing you he will be happy

2. The guy makes an effort to talk to you

One of the ways guys hint they like you is by making an effort in nurturing the relationship they already share with you, making sure you see the potential of it turning into something more. Whenever he sees you around, he will take the opportunity to talk to you, as it is his way of showing interest in you. This is one of the signs that a shy guy is in love with you. He will figure out ways to be a part of your conversations and may even do some homework on it.

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If a shy guy is making an effort to talk to you, it means he is doing something that is out of his comfort zone just so that he can get to know you better. One of our contributors who identified as a shy introvert told us the lengths he would go to to make sure he had something in common with his now-wife.

When they first became friends he was too intimidated to have one-on-one conversations with her and thus only interacted with her in a group setting. She was fascinated by Indian mythology and he claims that he became an expert in just over two weeks. This is an absolute sign a guy likes you as more than a friend.

3. He keeps his promises

One of the tell-tale signs a guy is totally in love with you is that he will take even the smallest promises made to you seriously and go above and beyond to ensure you’re not disappointed. Yes, a guy who secretly loves you will make sure he keeps his promises, even if it is getting you your favorite dessert from halfway across the town. Under no circumstances would he like to annoy you or upset you by not living up to his word.

His zeal to keep you happy and smiling will also be noticed by others. For example, if he said he will call you, then he will surely call you without fail; or if he said he will meet you, then he will make it a point to meet you even in the pouring rain. Plus, he will also keep hinting that he is willing to settle down with you. This is a sign he secretly loves you. He will talk about how you guys are perfect for each other and are very compatible.

4. The guy tries to highlight the commonality between the two of you

Wondering how to know if someone loves you secretly online or IRL? Pay attention to his attempts to find common ground to connect over. He’d always try to look for things that you have in common, like say, a hobby or an interest and then suggests that you both do it together. He wants to know more and more about you.

This is just his way of letting you know that you both are very compatible and can think about a future together. He will want to be a part of your life and will try to suggest you watch movies together or do other activities together. He will want to get to know you better in your comfort zone and will insert himself in your plans. This is an absolute sign he loves you without saying it and he loves you secretly.

Related Reading: 8 Signs From the Universe that Love Is Coming Your Way

5. A guy who secretly loves you will make excuses to be with you

Does he keep waiting for you when he can actually go home? Has he not eaten his lunch because you have been busy? And then he tells you he wasn’t hungry because he had coffee earlier? Classic signs he loves you secretly. If you notice a guy making dumb excuses just to spend some time with you, then you can be sure that he likes you.

Introverts show their love in soft, subtle ways and rarely make grand romantic gestures to announce it. You may notice that he wants to hang out with you because having you by his side is the highlight of his day. When you are around him, he doesn’t care about anything else. The signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it don’t get any clearer than this.

6. Flirting with you comes naturally to him

Whenever he flirts with you, it is absolutely effortless. He will use cute one-liners spontaneously, and for some reason, you will always laugh. It will be light, with just the right sense of humor and tease. This is one of the qualities that women admire in men and also one of the most common ways guys hint they like you.

You kind of get the idea that he actually likes you because he knows how to be playful with you and tease you to get your attention. Nothing about your interaction with him seems unnatural to you and you also tend to respond to his advances naturally.

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7. He remembers everything that you say to him

How to know if someone likes you back? For starters, he will remember every little detail of what you say to him. You will be amazed to find out that the guy remembers everything that you say to him, whether it is your favorite color or some issue you are facing at work. He knows how you like your coffee and what is your go-to song when you are in a bad mood.

He is always attentive and never misses a thing you say even when it is very trivial. This is his way of showing his affection toward you. This is also his way of letting you know how important you are to him and how interested he is in getting to know you better. If you notice him being unusually attentive to every little thing that matters to you, count it among the signs he secretly loves you but is scared. Well, don’t they say love is visible in the smallest of gestures?

8. A guy who likes you will be conscious around you

A man who is secretly in love with you will want you to think highly of him and, therefore, will always be conscious of what he says, how he dresses and how he looks around you. You might find him wearing your favorite color more often and dressing in ways that you find attractive.

If you compliment him on his hairstyle or beard you will see that he will always groom it in that manner when he meets you. Even though he is not openly expressing his feelings, he wants to make sure that you find him attractive and presentable. He is surely displaying some of the most classic signs he secretly wants you. If you like him too, maybe drop a hint that will give him the confidence to take things forward.

Related Reading: 11 Reasons Why You Must Date Your Polar Opposite

9. He defends you in front of others

If there are people who are against you, then he will always defend you in front of them and save you from any attacks from their side. Whether there is a serious or light-hearted argument, he will most likely always take your side in public. He will encourage people to be less harsh towards you and will support you with his words and body language. If he feels you were in the wrong, then chances are he will speak to you about it in private and give you constructive criticism.

He will want you to think you can rely on him and will almost never put you down or let others put you down in group settings. This does not mean that he will not playfully tease you but it will never be about something you are insecure about. In this way, he is letting you know that he is there to protect you from any harm whatsoever and stand by you at all times.

10. He uses social media to stay in touch with you

How to know if someone likes you online? By using his smartphone and social media accounts, he will make an effort to continuously stay in touch with you and get updates on your life. If you post a story, he’s most probably the first one to heart-react to it. If he sees you online, he’s sure to DM. And he tries his best to keep text conversations with you going, sometimes late into the night.

signs he secretly loves you but is scared
He will keep in touch with you over social media

A shy guy will probably use technology and social media more instead of face-to-face conversations because his awkwardness can stay hidden while he tries to build a rapport with you. He will probably keep sending you articles or memes that remind you of him and will want to be connected with you on all social platforms. He will follow your activity closely and will stay in touch with you online.

11. His friends know all about you

You may not know who all his friends are, but they will surely know who you are. Sometimes his friends might even knowingly tease him about his love life in front of you or make subtle digs at how you guys are perfect for each other. These encounters will make him blush because he secretly agrees with them.

This is among the surest signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it. Have you met his bestie who’s rattled off everything about you? What you love to eat, when you go to sleep, what’s your favorite color. We cannot reiterate this enough: this is an absolute sign he loves you but is too shy to tell you. Don’t let it slide.

12. His body language acts as a big indicator

A guy who does not use his words to express his emotions will use his body language to let you know what is on his mind. If he leans towards you while you are talking to him, then it means he is interested in you. If he frequently fidgets, then it means he is nervous around you.

He will always want to be as close to you as possible and in group settings will always jump at the chance of being seated next to you in a movie or perhaps next to you in a car. He will always maintain eye contact and let you know with his body language that you have his full attention.

13. The guy does not shy away from physical contact

While respecting you and your boundaries, he might try to make physical contact with you by touching your hands, patting your shoulder, hugging you, etc. If you are the one initiating contact, then a shy guy may be shocked at first, but eventually will be okay with you being close to him and will reciprocate your advances.

This physical proximity will be oddly comforting for him – and you, if you too feel the same way about him. Soon you will have established a comfort zone where your flirtatious moves venture into the physical plane with subtle advances like your fingers momentarily intertwining with each other’s, a lot of accidental brushes and affectionate touches. This is a sign the guy loves you deeply.

14. Your thoughts and opinions matter to him

One of the signs a guy is totally in love with you is that how you view him will become increasingly important to him. He will want to consult you and ask for your opinion when he is in trouble or confused about something. If he is ever faced with a dilemma or has some life-changing decision to make, then he will turn to you for support and advice.

Even if your opinions differ, he will intently listen to you and value what you have to say. This is because you are important to him and thus your thoughts and opinions matter to him. He would never belittle you and will always value your opinions and suggestions.

Showing that they know what it takes to respect a woman in a relationship is among the ways guys hint they like you. Since his feelings for you are genuine, he doesn’t even have to try too hard to make you feel that way. Love and respect for you will come naturally to him.

15. He shares his thoughts with you

While valuing your thoughts and opinions, the guy will always share his thoughts with you comfortably. He opens up with you as he does with no one else. You will notice him sharing his feelings comfortably with you but when he is around other people, he may be more reserved and not sure of his thoughts or opinions as much.

Even if he is an introvert and is afraid to open up to people, he will be at ease around you because he loves you and trusts you. His ability to be vulnerable with you is among the subtle but sure signs he secretly loves you but is scared to act on his feelings. To maintain this trust, make sure you do not make fun of him in private or in public, especially about matters he is insecure about.

16. He tries to keep you happy

Any guy knows that humor is something that girls find irresistible. So the guy who likes you secretly will make it a point to keep you happy and try to show his humorous side to you in order to create a lasting impression on your mind. He may playfully annoy you too, just to build a rapport with you.

He will also go out of his way to make sure that you get what you want. A reader once told us that he visited over 15 shops to get his crush a specific chocolate bar at 1 AM! Like him, if the guy likes you, he will go to crazy lengths to satisfy your cravings and show you that he loves you deeply without saying it.

17. The guy does not feel awkward while staring at you

How to tell if someone likes you by their eyes? Well, eyes give clear hints of someone’s feelings for you. You might catch the guy staring at you lovingly, especially when you are not looking at him. When a man is falling in love, he can’t help but try to take you in with his eyes.

However, he will not feel awkward that he is staring at you because he adores you and wants to show his affection toward you. This is how he shows he secretly loves you. You might catch his eye often when you are on the phone or playing with the fork on the plate. He actually can’t take his eyes off you. And the fact that you are noticing this is making him stare at you more.

Related Reading: 15 Funny Ways To Annoy Your Girlfriend

18. The guy notices every change you make in your appearance/apparel

A new haircut? A new dress? Or a new pair of shoes? He will notice it all. If you make any changes in your appearance, even when they are minor, a guy who has a crush on you will be the first to notice it. This attention to detail is among the most telling signs he loves you secretly.

He might even go one step ahead and compliment you on it. Even the smallest details will not escape his eyes. And even if he does not like the particular change, he will praise you to make you feel good about it. This means he is in love with you.

19. His tone of voice is different around others

When the guy talks to you, he will probably make it a point to speak softly, charmingly, and in a pleasant manner so that you get attracted to him. His eyes will light up and he will be smiling slyly.

You might notice the tone of his voice changing around other people because they are not special, you are special. On the phone, he talks in a low, sexy tone with you, a voice that’s only reserved for you. The tone of this voice, the intensity of his gaze will make something stir inside of you as well.

20. The guy mimics your actions

Consciously or unconsciously, if the guy mimics the way you are moving your hand, the way you are sitting or talking, then he probably has hidden feelings for you. He may keep his car the way you keep yours or arrange his desk just like yours. He is trying to follow your ways because he is deeply in love with you.

Then he could even try to bring to your notice that he is doing things the way you like it. If you have been struggling to decode the signs he loves you secretly, pay attention to this. Since mimicking your actions is a subconscious manifestation of attraction, it’s hard to hide.

21. He surprises you with gifts

The gifts he gives you may not be luxury products or very expensive. They could be simple meaningful gifts like an encouraging note written by him or chocolates. As simple as a pen, perhaps. But he knows what things hold sentimental value in your friendship and will use these to surprise you and make you smile. These simple things are his way of telling you how much he loves you, without saying anything at all.

One of the signs he secretly loves you but is scared is that he tries everything in his power to make you feel special, because to him, you are. And he wants you to know that. For instance, if you’re part of the same group of friends, these surprise gifts and thoughtful gestures may be his way of letting you know that you mean more to him than just a friend.

22. Your special days are special for him as well

If a guy remembers your birthday and any other special days in your life, then he obviously likes you. He will even celebrate and be with you on those special days in order to show the importance you have in his life. He never forgets your birthday or any other special day.

In fact, he pulls all stops to make them even more special and memorable for you. If it’s your birthday, he might plan a surprise for you. If you get a promotion, he may show up at your door with a bouquet and take you out to celebrate. After reading these signs there is no reason to doubt he loves you.

23. He is always texting you

How to tell if someone likes you through text? How to know if someone loves you secretly online? If you’re losing sleep over these questions because picking up on the signs he loves you secretly when you’re not together can truly be baffling, pay attention to the effort he puts into staying in touch with you constantly.

If a guy is sharing the minutest details of his day with you over text, be assured he has you on his mind all the time. Not only will he initiate texting, but he will also reply quickly to any text you send him. From good mornings to goodnights and a few jokes, he shares his whole day with you. And, did he ever say he’d rather be with you than texting you? There you go – he totally is in awe of you.

Related Reading: How Guys Text When They Like You – We Give You 15 Clues

24. He asks you a lot of questions

If someone likes you, they’d want to know a lot about you. If a guy has been asking you a lot of questions, rest assured he is interested in you. If someone likes you as more than a friend, they’d want to know the real you and not just the side of yourself you present to the world. And the easiest way to do that is by asking a lot of questions.

If a guy has been crushing on you, he’d ask you questions to know you better. And these questions will not be superficial- they are aimed at knowing the real you. This is a busy world, my dear, if someone is making an effort to know you deeply, he surely likes you secretly.

25. You are introduced to their inner circle

How to tell if someone likes you? When they let you in their inner circle. An introduction to their loved ones, or an invitation to a family function, or a movie date with the rest of the gang – these are all the signs the guy sees you as a permanent part of his life. If you have scored an invitation to a guy’s family or inner circle of friends, there is no doubt that he secretly loves you.

While he may not have gathered the nerve to tell you how he feels, he’s truly exhibiting the signs he secretly wants you. There is a good chance that you will get special treatment from his loved ones because they already know how much you matter to him.

26. He displays hints of jealousy

How to know if someone loves you secretly online or IRL? Well, one unmistakable giveaway is the hint of jealousy that will shine through in his words, behavior and body language if a third person gets involved in the equation. Let’s say, some guy asks you out and you agree to go on a date with him. It’s bound to rile up the guy who has been harboring intense feelings for you.

You may notice that he is sulking, brooding or not being his usual endearing self around you. Now, we don’t recommend that you flaunt your proximity to or interest in another man just to get him jealous. But if there is someone else who’s interested in you, try to nonchalantly mention it to him. And you will no longer have to fret over the signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it.

27. He’s no longer looking to date

One of the clearest signs he loves you secretly is that he’d go off the dating game completely – uninstalling dating apps, not checking out other women or even texting potential romantic interests, he’d go the whole hog. It’s not hard to understand why. He has already found the one in you, and everyone else just pales in comparison.

He is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you and would naturally want to concentrate on all his energies and efforts in wooing you and trying to get you to go out with him. So, yes, a lull in his dating life is the biggest indicator of a guy’s feelings for you.

Related Reading: 21 Undeniable Signs That He Likes You

3 Hidden Signs A Man Is Falling In Love With You But Is Hiding It

Picking on the ways guys hint they like you can become a lot easier when you know what signs to look out for. The real challenge lies in figuring out how to know if someone loves you secretly when that someone is really good at masking their feelings. If he is aware of his feelings for you and has made up his mind to not let them on, it can get that much harder to decode the signs he secretly wants you.

When a guy is torn between how he feels about you and his decision to keep his feelings under wraps, he may start acting all aloof and distant and giving mixed signals, leaving you all confused about his intent and feelings. But fret not, you can still get to the bottom of how he feels about you with these 3 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you:

1. His eyes always search for you

How to know if a guy loves you but is hiding it without talking? Well, just pay attention to his gaze. If he has strong feelings for you, his eyes would invariably scan a room (or any space) for your presence, especially if he expects to run into you there. Even if you’re in a crowded café or a room full of people, you’d notice that his eyes wander all across and then settle on you.

You’d also notice his eyes light up when he finally sees you. This is one of the surefire secret signs a man loves you that is hard to miss. Since this is an instinctive reaction, he may not be able to rein it in. Besides, because he doesn’t know that you’re looking for signs he secretly wants you, he’ll have no reason to stop himself from following his instincts.

Related Reading: Eye Contact Attraction: How Does It Help To Build A Relationship?

2. His hero instinct kicks in

How to know if someone loves you secretly? When that someone is a guy you suspect to have feelings for you, the task becomes that much easier. Simply pay attention to whether his hero instinct kicks in when he is around you. The hero instinct in men is a term coined by James Bauer in this book, His Secret Obsession, to explain the relationship psychology of men.

signs a guy is totally in love with you
He is eager to help you out

According to Bauer, men want to feel needed by you to thrive in a romantic connection. So, if a guy is secretly harboring feelings for you, he’d also have an inherent need to help you out in your times of need and save the day. If your efforts to uncover the secret signs a man loves you have all been in vain so far, perhaps try to ask him to help you out of a tricky situation. If he drops everything and plunges himself into “rescuing” you, it’s one of the clearest signs he secretly wants you.

3. He talks about the future

One of the ways guys hint they like you is by talking about a hypothetical future of which you’re an integral part. This fantasy plays out in their mind so often that it becomes a part of their consciousness and every now and again, slips out in conversations.

So, if a guy says something like “I want to retire early and travel the world with you” or “How cool it’d be if we took a trip to watch the next FIFA world cup from a stadium and not this couch”, it’s one of the clear signs that he is ready to settle down with you. He may not have asked you out on a first date yet but in his mind, he already sees you as a potential life partner.  

How To React When He Loves You Secretly But Is Hiding

Now you know all about the secret signs a man loves you and can say with some certainty whether that guy you suspected of having feelings for you actually feels the way you thought he did. However, figuring out how to know if someone loves you secretly is only one half of this puzzle. You also need to know how to react when he loves you secretly but is hiding.

Once you’ve spotted the signs he secretly wants you, your next course of action would depend on how you feel about this guy. Let’s take a closer look at how to react when he loves you secretly but is hiding, based on your feelings for him:

Related Reading: 18 Mutual Attraction Signs That Can’t Be Ignored

How to react when he loves you secretly but is hiding and you like him too

If you spot the secret signs a man loves you and feel the same way about him, then it’s pretty clear what you need to do. Make apparent your feelings for him so that whatever doubts or apprehensions he has been harboring in his mind dissipate and you can begin a beautiful journey together. You can do this by dropping hints, making overtures, or taking a more straightforward approach and making the first move.

Sally, a reader from Houston, shared with us what she did when she noticed the signs that a college friend was falling for her. “I had this huge crush on Mark but we were also great friends and I didn’t want to jeopardize my friendship by doing something foolish. Then, I began noticing these subtle signs that he too was attracted to me.

“I figured that perhaps he was holding himself back for the same reasons that I was. So, one Saturday evening, we were chilling at my apartment, watching movies and gorging on pizzas, and we had this fleeting but intense moment between us. And I just followed my gut and leaned in and kissed him. It’s been four years since that first kiss and we’re still together and happy.”

How to react when he loves you secretly but is hiding but you don’t feel the same way

You may have cracked the code of how to know if a guy loves you but is hiding it without talking, but now, you probably want to know how to let a guy know you don’t love him back without talking about it. We get it, turning someone down is never easy. The fact of the matter is that you’re going to break his heart when you tell him that you don’t love him back and he’d probably spend the next few months figuring out how to get over someone you never dated.

Hard as it may be, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. The best approach here is to let him down easy and perhaps convey your lack of interest before things get too intense. Cassandra, a nurse, talks about how turned down a senior resident without actually turning him down. “This young, handsome doctor was dropping hints left, right and center. Even though he was what many would describe as a complete package, my heart just wasn’t in it.

“Primarily because I didn’t want to date anyone from the medical fraternity. So, one day, I caught him on his coffee break, we started talking, and I casually slipped in the fact that I would never date a coworker or just anyone from the same line of work as mine. Then, I went on to talk about a few great imaginary dates I had been on. He looked crestfallen but got my point. The hints and the innuendos stopped after that. We still have a great working relationship.”

Remember the signs he secretly wants you are always there. You just need to know where to look. We hope these signs are enough to help erase all your doubts about the love and affection a guy has toward you and you now have a clear idea of how best to navigate the situation, depending on whether or not you like him back.


1. How to know if a guy loves you but is hiding it?

It’s all there in his smile. He wouldn’t be able to stop smiling around you. You could even catch him staring at you often.

2. How to know if a guy loves you secretly through text?

He would text you often and try to stay in touch with you over texts. He could be sending you emojis too to drop hints that he loves you secretly.

3. What are the 3 hidden signs a man is falling in love with you?

The three hidden signs that a man is falling in love with you are. 1) His eyes always search for you. 2) His hero instinct kicks in. 3) He talks about the future.

4. How do you make a guy confess his feelings for you?

To make a guy confess his feelings for you, you can drop hints to let him know that feelings are mutual or make discreet overtures that can convey your interest in him. Or you could be upfront and make the first move. Ask him out or kiss him, that ought to get his guard down.

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