To spice up those evenings after a dull day at work, or to plan something interesting to do over the holidays, it can be a great idea to organize a double date. A double date is essentially just like a regular date but with double the fun and double the people.
Hanging out with your partner every other night is lovely, but it can soon become a monotonous affair. To kick it up a notch and introduce some variation in your relationship, double dating can be a truly funtastic alternative.
You know how first dates can be super awkward, especially if you are meeting someone from an online dating app? Here’s an idea! What if you plan a double date with another nice couple from your social circle? It will take the pressure off you to hold an engaging conversation throughout the evening, that too single-handedly.
“A double date actually changed my life,” said Jennifer Brown, a property consultant, based in California. “The guys were classmates in college and they asked my bestie and me out on a double date. Then after a series of dates for a few years, we both got married to the same guys. Our double date saga continued and 25 years down the line when our kids are grown up and we are busy with home and careers, we still make time for our double dates. It’s really something I look forward to,” she added.
Well, doesn’t that make you even a little curious? If you genuinely wish to go on a double date but are not confident enough yet, we have a bag full of information to help you execute the whole plan in flying colors.
What Is A Double Date?
First things first, let’s clear the air about what is double dating in a relationship. A double date is when two couples go on a date together with the simple intention of having fun. Double date relationships are healthy because there is only friendship between a couple and no one is going to hit on the other person in the accompanying couple.
What is the point of a double date? It allows two like-minded couples to have some fun together at a restaurant, at the movies, on a weekend trip, or just at home over drinks and board games. That’s why one of the main double date rules is to keep the PDA to a minimum and there shouldn’t be inside jokes shared by a couple because their friends might feel unwelcome.
Also, never go on a double date with the intention of swinging. That’s the most horrible thing to do. Double dates happen between monogamous couples and there isn’t a question of an open relationship either. In one of their articles, Science Daily talks about double date benefits, which include rekindling the passion and spark in your own relationship.
As you are asking a couple for a double date, you get a chance to exchange similar anecdotes and discuss relatable personal issues that you cannot always do with your single friends. And finally, how to double date? Let’s discuss that in further detail.
Related Reading: Couples Therapist Talks About The Pros And Cons Of Open Relationships
15 Double Date Tips To Have An Awesome Time
A double date is one where you plan an outing with another couple. It can be a couple you have known since college, someone you just met once at a party, or a recommended couple from your friend circle. Double dating is helpful because it adds a fresh layer of excitement to your relationship.
When you’re on your own, your partner tends to reveal a certain side of themselves to you, a side you’re familiar with. However, with more people in the mix and a change of scenario, they might bring out other aspects of their personality. To have a successful double date especially if you are a newbie, here is a beginner’s guide to double dates:
1. Is double dating a good idea?
This primary concern must be taken care of at the very beginning. It is important to address whether this is something your partner is open to or is willing to do. Not everyone enjoys or feels comfortable in the company of another couple. It is only fun when it is comfortable for all. Double dating should not turn into a cause for relationship arguments.
And if your partner does enjoy it, should it be a regular outing or a once in 3 months gig? These are things that you should discuss with your partner so that your double dates are actually fruitful instead of becoming counterproductive. Set your double date questions and doubts straight before involving another couple in the picture.
2. Choosing the right couple
This can be a challenging task but you should also look forward to it. You must sift through your list of friends and acquaintances to decide on a couple with whom you want to spend time. It does not have to be someone very close or someone very distant. However, there should be a certain spark.
It simply comes down to who you, as a couple, would vibe with. Additionally, it should be someone your partner also has something in common with. You don’t want to simply hit it off with the co-male and watch your girlfriend get off on the wrong foot with his partner.
Related Reading: How Important Are Common Interests In Relationships?
3. Planning the activity carefully
This step requires some considerate thought. It is not only crucial to choose an activity that you and your partner bond over, but something that your co-couple is also looking forward to. This is good dating etiquette. For example, you love playing paintball and it truly can be a wonderful group activity.
Yet, it is important to gauge what kind of couple you are going out with. If they prefer sit-down dinners or indoor movie nights, then getting hit by splotches of paint all evening would not be a great idea. Thus, this is something you need to map out from your conversations with them. Ask the important double date questions and don’t jump the gun and plan something they might think is outrageous.
Here, we suggest you keep your alcohol intake to a minimum for the evening. Nothing sets poor double date examples than one person puking all over the place. Or worse, any kind of misbehavior that will only bring you embarrassment and regret the next morning.
4. Picking the perfect spot
No matter what activity you have chosen, it is vital to pick a comfortable location for both couples. You don’t want to have your co-couple drive in from 25 miles out of town because you cannot get enough of the new sushi place on the main street. They will not stop bickering about it.
When you are going on a double date, do not resort to showing off to the other couple and pick a posh sophisticated restaurant that none of you will enjoy. A dinner date at home can be more fun in that regard. Clear communication between the couples is highly recommended. Be aware of the commute and how far the spot might be for both of you. A midway meeting point is ideal unless it is a home date.
5. Cue the icebreakers
If you are going on a double date with a couple you are not closely familiar with, you and your partner should make concerted efforts to get to know them. Keep in mind that even though your partner is with you, you must interact properly with the others around the table.
Some popular questions to ask a couple can be about how they met, what their histories are, their jobs, and the like. Suppose, at some point, you run out of questions to ask on a double date, playing a ‘who knows their partner better’ quiz can liven up the mood again. The options widen even more on a home date. Bring out your favorite board game and get into a friendly couples tournament. If nothing, there’s always wine tasting to start off an engaging conversation.
Related Reading: What Are Some Good First Date Questions To Get To Know Someone?
6. Do not boast while double dating
One of the biggest mistakes of double dating is boasting in front of the other couple. “Hey honey, show these guys the pictures from our Hawaii trip!” If overdone, it can make it seem like you are being a show-off. Worse, trying to be the alpha male of the group.
It is nice to share little tidbits, but you must also gauge whether the other couple is interested in your anecdotes or not. Anecdotes are great to build a conversation but be careful of what they might sound like to the other couple. They should not think that this double date is a competition or an uneasy standoff.
7. Lay low on the PDA on a double date
A little forehead kiss here and a graze on the arm there is all adorable and acceptable on a double date. But too much of that, and you’ve found yourself on a slippery slope. You do not want the other couple to feel uncomfortable by the PDA. Double dating is collaborative fun and not a featured display of your love. Be your natural self, do not compromise on that. However, keep it simple, do not be reclusive, and be more engaging with the rest of the circle.
8. Is it better to sit next to or across from your date?
This is a valid question in order to ensure maximum comfort for everybody. At a dinner date or the like, I personally let the situation take the lead and determine how I want to place myself. Most people sit next to their partners when they co-date, especially if it is with a couple they are meeting for the first time.
Don’t sweat it. Just do what makes you feel right at that moment. You can even crack a joke and lightly ask the other couple what they would prefer. No biggie at all.
Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online
9. Who pays on a double date?
Steal the bill if that is your natural inclination, but by no means put up a boisterous fight. Nobody enjoys the back and forth of the “Let me pay the bill’’ drama. Splitting the bill while double dating, in my opinion, is one of the more important first date tips.
It also depends a lot on your established relationship with the couple. If they have invited you out, you should still offer to pay for at least your and your partner’s share. If you have invited them out and are feeling generous, go all the way if you want (even though you do not HAVE to).
10. Know what your partner wants to talk about
When you’re ensuring a good time for everyone else, make sure you do not leave your significant other out of the equation. Remember this is all about having a good time and if that’s not happening, you need to understand what might be going wrong.
One of the biggest double dating dos and don’ts is regarding oversharing. Be mindful of how much tea your partner is willing to spill regarding your relationship. For the sake of conversation, do not indulge in embarrassing stories or private conversations that your partner might be uncomfortable discussing.
11. Prioritize their needs on a home date
When you are hosting, you are the mighty captain of the double date ship. Organizing the date rests mostly on your shoulders and you have got to be a pro at it. When organized poorly, the evening can easily make you seem like a boring date.
A house tour, especially when you’re living with your partner, is a great way to start off. Take out the perfect board games, be aware of everyone’s food choices, and most importantly, make sure you have everyone’s favorite choice of a nightcap. Just do what every good host does and think of some date ideas.
Related Reading: What Should A Woman Talk About On Her First Date?
12. Be conversational but not intrusive
Don’t be that guy who gets a long list of questions to ask on a double date off the internet. While it’s great to look up ideas and keep a few questions in mind, don’t make it seem like you’ve memorized an entire script. The more spontaneous it is, the better. When getting to know the other couple on a double date, the questions to ask a couple should seem casual and easy.
Also, avoid too many follow-up questions. When it comes to romantic lives, it is better to let people open up instead of barraging them with personal questions. If the other couple shares an interesting bedtime ritual or a happy incident, just appreciate it instead of dissecting every aspect of their relationship. You’re not their therapist, you are just on a friendly date.
13. Be open to trying new things on a double date
For the love of God, try not to be the spoilsport. This is one of the biggest “don’ts” from the dos and don’ts when on an outdoor date. Nobody likes it when you say, “I hate playing tennis” or “The sun is too strong today”. When everyone is trying to have a good time, go with the flow instead of turning it into an unpleasant date experience.
You do not have to jump completely out of your comfort zone but do not bring everyone else down too. The whole point of a double date is to explore new things. Thus, you must be receptive to the things that the other couple suggests.
14. Keep the cross-flirting to a minimum
It can be fun to flirt with the opposite partner, once you have already established a good friendship with them. Yet, double dating is still a game of hearts interspersed with a game of friendliness. One of the crucial elements of a beginner’s guide to a double date involves drawing a healthy boundary with the other couple, physically and verbally.
It can get annoying for anyone to watch their partner flirt with others. When you partake in a double date, you are trying to ameliorate your own relationship. Do not invite fresh hell with a tactless gesture. Word your interactions appropriately and never suggest anything overtly sexual in a random manner. You do not want to cross anyone, no matter how innocent your intention might be.
Related Reading: 36 Relationship Building Questions To Ask Your Partner
15. How soon to double date again?
When you’ve had a fabulous time with another couple, chances are you want to do it again. Show your excitement and that you are looking forward to it, but do not insist on it like an elated child. Let the other couple take the lead too and perhaps let them plan the next outing. This is one of the rules of dating.
How soon to do it again, comes down to you and your co-dates. Don’t say, “Hey, let’s try this again next week!”, instead go with, “We’ve had such a great time today, we’d love to see you again whenever you are available.” The former can come off a little strong and the latter allows some breathing space.
So, does this clarify all the double date questions you had in mind? You can count on our suggestions as a handbook if you want to set amazing double date examples and earn some brownie points from your partner. Keep in mind, double dates are not just about the two of you. Rather, it’s more about socializing. Try to go with an open mind to make everyone in the group feel welcome and keep your personal issues on hold for one evening. You will see, you are in for a real treat!
FAQs
It allows two like-minded couples to have some fun together at a restaurant, at the movies, on a weekend trip, or just at home over drinks and board games.
It can be a good idea for a first date if you are feeling nervous and jittery and suffering from dating anxiety. Going on a double date can give you more confidence especially if you are meeting for the first time after online dating.
Decide on activities and venues together, be relaxed and chilled out, keep the PDA minimum, keep healthy relationship boundaries and enjoy the company and conversations.
It depends on how close you are as a double-dating couple and how much you enjoy each other’s company.
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