To spice up those evenings after a dull day at work, or plan something interesting to do on the holidays, it can be a great idea to organize a double date. A double date is essentially just like a regular date but with double the fun and double the people.
Hanging out with your partner every other night is lovely but can soon become a monotonous affair. To kick it up a notch and introduce some variation in your relationship, double dating can be a truly enlivening alternative.
“A double date actually changed my life,” said Jennifer Brown, a property consultant, based in California. “The guys were classmates in college and they asked my bestie and me out on a double date. Then after a series of dates for a few years, we both got married to the same guys. Our double date saga continued and 25 years down the line when our kids are grown up and we are busy with home and careers, we still make time for our double dates. It’s really something I look forward to,” she added.
What Is A Double Date?
A double date is when two couples go on a date together with the simple intention of having fun. Double date relationships are healthy because there is only friendship between a couple and no one is going hitting on each other.
What is the point of a double date? It allows two like-minded couples to have some fun together at a restaurant, at the movies, on a weekend trip or just at home over drinks and board games.
That’s why one of the main double date rules is to keep the PDA to a minimum and there shouldn’t be inside jokes shared by a couple because their friends might feel unwelcome.
Also, never go on a double date with the intention of swinging. That’s the most horrible thing to do. Double date happens between monogamous couples and there isn’t a question of an open relationship either.
15 Double Date Tips To Have An Awesome Time
A double date is one where you plan an outing with another couple. It can be a couple you have known since college, someone you just met once at a party or a recommended couple from your friend circle.
Double dating is helpful because it adds a fresh cream layer of excitement to your relationship. Your partner tends to reveal a certain side of you to them always. However, with more people in the mix and a change of scenario, they might bring out other aspects of their personality.
To have a successful double date especially if you are a newbie, here is a beginner’s guide to double dates.
1. Is double dating a good idea?
This primary concern must be taken care of at the very beginning. It is important to address whether this is something your partner is open to or is willing to do. Not everyone enjoys or feels comfortable in the company of another couple. It is only fun, when it is comfortable for all. Double dating should not turn into a cause for relationship arguments.
Moreover, if your partner does enjoy it, should it be a regular outing or a once in 3 months gig? These are concerns that you should discuss with your partner so that your double dates are actually fruitful instead of becoming counterproductive.
2. Choosing the right couple
This can be a challenging task but you should also look forward to it. You must sift through your friend circles and acquaintances to decide on a couple who you want to further explore. It does not have to be someone very close or someone very distant. However, there should be a certain spark.
It simply comes down to who you think you as a couple, would vibe with. Additionally, it should be someone your partner also has something in common with. You don’t want to simply hit it off with the co-male and watch your girlfriend get on the wrong foot with his partner.
3. Planning the activity carefully
This step requires some considerate thought. It is not only crucial to choose an activity that you and your partner bond over, but something that your co- couple is also looking forward to. This is good dating etiquette.
For example, you love playing paintball and it truly can be a wonderful group activity. Yet, it is important to gauge what kind of couple you are going out with. If they prefer sit-down dinners or indoor movie nights – thus is something you need to map out from your conversations with them. Ask the important double date questions and don’t jump the gun and plan something they might think is outrageous.
4. Picking the perfect spot
No matter what activity you are doing, it is vital to pick a comfortable location for both couples. You don’t want to have your co-couple drive in from 25 miles out of town because you cannot get enough of the new sushi place on main street. They will not stop bickering about that.
Be aware of the commute and how far the spot might be for both of you. A healthy middle meeting ground is ideal unless it is a home date.
5. Cue the icebreakers
If you are going on a double date with a couple you are not closely familiar with, you and your partner should make healthy efforts to get to know them. Keep in mind, that even though your partner is with you, you must properly interact with the others around the table.
Some popular questions to ask a couple can be about how they met, what their histories are, their jobs and the like.
Related Reading: What Are Some Good First Date Questions To Get To Know Someone?
6. Do not boast while double dating
One of the biggest mistakes of double dating is boasting in front of the other couple. “Hey honey, show these guys the pictures from our Hawaii trip!” If overdone it can make it seem like you are being a show off. Worse, is trying to be the alpha male of the group.
It is nice to share little tidbits but one must also realize whether the other couple is interested in your anecdotes or not. Anecdotes are great to build a good pair but be careful of what they might sound like to the other couple. They should not think that this double date is a competition or an uneasy standoff.
7. Lay low on the PDA during a double date
A little forehead kiss here and a graze on the arm there, is all adorable and acceptable on a double date. But too much of that, and you’ve found yourself on a slippery slope. You do not want the other couple to feel uncomfortable by the PDA.
Double dating is collaborative fun and not a featured display of your love. Be your natural self, do not compromise on that. However, keep it simple, do not be reclusive and be more engaging with the rest of the circle!
8. Is it better to sit next to or across from your date?
This is a valid question in order to ensure maximum comfort for everybody. At a dinner date or the like, I personally let the situation take the lead and determine how I want to place myself. Most people sit next to their partners when thy co-date, especially if it is with a couple they are meeting for the first time.
Don’t sweat it. Just do what makes you feel right in that moment. You can even crack a joke and lightly ask the other couple what they would prefer. No biggie at all.
9. Who pays on a double date?
Steal the bill if that is your natural inclination, but by no means put up a boisterous fight. Nobody enjoys the back and forth of the ‘Let me get the bill’’ drama. Splitting the bill while double dating, in my opinion, is one of the important first date tips.
It also depends a lot on your established relationship with the couple. If they have invited you out, you should still offer to pay for at least yours and your partner’s share. If you have invited them out and are feeling generous, go all the way if you want (even though you do not HAVE to).
10. Know what your partner wants to talk about
When you’re ensuring a good time for everyone else, make sure you do not leave your significant other out of the equation. Remember this is all about having a good time and if that’s not happening, you need to understand what might be going wrong.
One of the biggest double dating dos and don’ts is regarding oversharing. Be mindful of how much tea regarding your relationship your partner is willing to spill. For the sake of conversation, do not indulge in embarrassing stories or private conversations that your partner might be uncomfortable discussing.
Related Reading: What should a woman talk about on her first date?
11. Prioritise their needs on a home date
When you are hosting, you are the mighty captain of the double date ship. Organizing the date rests mostly on your shoulders and you have got to become a pro at it. When organized poorly, the date can more easily make you seem like like a boring date.
A house tour, especially when you’re living with your partner, is a great way to start off. Prepare the perfect board games, be aware of everyone’s food choices and most importantly, make sure there is everyone’s favorite choice of a nightcap. Just do what every good host does and think of some date ideas!
12. Be conversational but not intrusive
When getting to know the other couple on a double date, questions to ask a couple should be casual and easy. Also, avoid too many follow up questions. When it comes to romantic lives, it is better to let people open up themselves about it instead of barraging them with personal questions.
If the other couple shares an interesting bedtime ritual or happy incident- just appreciate it instead of dissecting every aspect of their relationship. You’re not their therapist you are just on a friendly date.
Related Reading: 36 Relationship Building Questions To Ask Your Partner
13. Be open to trying new things on a double date
For the love of god, try not to be the spoilsport. This is one of the biggest dos and don’ts when on an outdoor date. Nobody likes it when you say: “I hate playing tennis” or, “The sun is too strong today”. When everyone is trying to have a good time, go with the flow instead of turning it into an unpleasant date experience.
You do not have to jump completely out of your comfort zone but do not bring everyone else down too. The whole point of a double date is to explore new things. Thus, you must be receptive to the things that the other couple suggests.
14. Keep the cross-flirting at a minimum
It can be fun to flirt with the opposite partner, once you have established a good friendship with them already. Yet, double dating this is still a game of hearts interspersed with a game of friendliness. One of the crucial elements of a beginner’s guide to a double date involves drawing a healthy boundary with the other couple, physically and verbally both.
It can get annoying for anyone to watch your partner flirt with others. Words your interactions appropriately and never suggest anything overtly sexual in a random manner. You do not want to cross anyone, no matter how innocent your intention might be.
15. How soon to double date again?
When you’ve had a fabulous time with another couple, chances are you want to do it again. Show your excitement and that you are looking forward to it, but do not press on it like an elated child. Let the other couple take the lead too and perhaps let them plan the next outing. This is one of the rules of dating.
How soon to do it again, comes down to you and your co-dates. Don’t say, ‘Hey, let’s try this again next week!’, but instead go with, “We’ve had such a great time today, we’d love to see you again whenever you are available next”. The former can come off a little strong and the latter allows some breathing space.
It allows two like-minded couples to have some fun together at a restaurant, at the movies, on a weekend trip or just at home over drinks and board games.
It can be a good idea for a first date if you are feeling nervous and jittery and suffering from dating anxiety. Going on a double date can give you more confidence especially if you are meeting for the first time after online dating.
Decide on activities and venues together, be relaxed and chilled out, keep the PDA minimum, keep healthy relationship boundaries and enjoy the company and conversations.
It depends on how close you are as a double-dating couple and how much you enjoy each other’s company.