A first date is as awkward as it is exciting. All that excitement can often leave you tongue-tied, wondering how to make the first date perfect. It is also true that the first date will either blossom into a second one, or go down in flames. And what actually makes or breaks the first date is the conversation you have – that keeps both of you engaged and gives you a little bit of idea about the nature and likes and dislikes of the other person. Of course, without letting each other know that they are being sized up.
Talking about the right things on a first date assumes a lot of importance. If you try to discuss marriage plans or how many kids you want, it will instantly establish your insecurities and desperation to find a match. In the same way, opening up too much about your grim childhood trauma or an episode of depression will chase them away. They didn’t sign up for a session to play the role of a therapist there, did they?
On the flip side, if you try to be too nonchalant, and declare on the first date that you are only looking for a fling and nothing serious, they may lose interest soon. To keep the conversation going on a date and make sure they’re glued to you the whole time, you have to find a fine balance between these. So what can a woman talk about on her first date that will keep both the parties interested? More importantly, how can she make her date feel warm and comfortable in her company? Let’s find out!
How to bat the first date jitters?
Unlike what you may think, you don’t have to be a charmer to make a first date a success. The first few minutes are naturally a hassle, which makes you appear at a loss for words. And while it is normal to feel shaky and confused for the first few minutes, here are a few first date tips for girls that can help you and your date to go with the flow:
- Greet with a warm smile: Goes a long, long way! The easiest way to make someone feel warm and welcome is to smile at them as you first see them from a distance. Hurry up a little to go and say a smiling hello
- Listen if they say something: So if you do have the skills of starting a conversation, do not forget that you need to listen too! Let them speak as well, and do not just charge at them snapping words after words
- Appreciate them for being on time: Thank them for being on time and also let them know that you appreciate people who are punctual. This may actually start a decent conversation
- Ask about their day: Not sure what to talk about on a first date with a guy or a girl? Begin with this one. Asking politely about their day will make them feel comfortable in your company and give the impression that you care
- Do not fiddle with your hair or clothes: To make the other person shun their inhibitions, you need to give them attention. Fiddling with your hair, mobile, or clothes will only make them feel as if you are not interested
Related Reading: What To Talk About On A First Date?
What should a woman talk about on her first date?
Like we said earlier, you are not supposed to create an intense atmosphere around the table when you are out on a first date. Avoid any subject that might make them feel uncomfortable. A first date should be as breezy as a bright sunny day – no tension, no awkward silence – just two people diving into the flow of a delightful conversation and enjoying each other’s companionship.
And with a little luck, if everything goes well, maybe they would walk you home, offer their coat as you feel chilly, and plant a little kiss on your cheek when you are about to say goodbye. To make sure you experience a dreamy evening just like this one, we have jotted down a few first-date topics to impress your date and seal a second date soon.
1. Find out common interests
This is the easiest way to start a conversation – and both people can talk a lot if the interests are mutual. A little research on their social media profiles will go a long way in this. Are they a bookworm? Ask them if they’re reading anything good. Do they love cooking? Tell them you admire people who follow their passion.
Could you figure out any common hobby or interest? Bring it up. And you will see that both of you will feel relaxed and comfortable with each other. Of course, there are flirty and romantic things to say on a first date, but to engage in a conversation where both of you can chime in without any hesitation is definitely the best of its kind.
Many people like to travel, and travel anecdotes can be quite interesting. Start with them – ask your date where they have lived, places they have been to, and places they’d like to visit. This will set the tone for an interesting conversation if you also look forward to visiting the places they want to see. If both of you have visited a place, you can recollect the memories and share them with each other. This will also give you clues as to what they like and dislike.
It may sound a little out there, but hear us out – if you are both adrenaline junkies and very much into action sports, you may as well plan a short adventure vacation once you get to know each other well. Also, travel is a great topic to talk about on a date if you already know the person.
3. Pets and animals
Pets and animals can be a major deal-breaker in a relationship, no matter which side of the fence you are at. If you are a pet and animal lover, you need to find out if the other person shares the passion too. It can set the ball rolling. I mean, forget kids, but you sure see at least two dogs and a cat in your future family home, right? And it’s a non-negotiable for you.
So, if the other person detests pets, that is enough to call it quits for a woman. This also works vice versa. If you are allergic to cat hair, and your date is a proud parent of five feline babies, they cannot think of giving them up just to accommodate a new person in their life. Think about it. You may not consider it in the first go but this should be a topic to talk about on a first date with a guy or a girl.
Related Reading: Dating Etiquette – 20 Things You Should Never Ignore On A First Date
4. Education or work
If you are a student or dating someone who is, it would be nice to bring up education and future goals in a conversation. If your date is working, talk about what they like about their job, and how their professional life is. People who are passionate about their work give subtle clues on how fulfilling their lives are, and that may click with you too. On the other hand, if they keeps cribbing about how hard they are working or how tough their boss is, you may get an idea that they are more of a complainer.
So you get a clear picture of whether you are dating an enthusiastic, hard-working person or someone who is full of negativity. Also, you could easily start a conversation related to work and education when you can’t find anything to talk about on a first date with a friend.
5. Talk about family
What should a woman talk about on her first date? Bring your family into the picture and subtly ask your date about theirs. Simple questions like “Did you grow up with any sibling?” or “Do you have any special family traditions for the holidays?” can keep conversation going on a date.
You could also share a little bit about your special bonding with your siblings or talk about your mom’s famous pumpkin pie. However, do not go overboard with this one, as some people prefer to keep their families away from their dating life. If you feel they are not comfortable with the conversation, drop it.
Related Reading: 30 Cute and Fun First Date Ideas
6. Past relationships
This could be a dicey conversation to start with, but when done in a nonchalant fashion, it will help you know the person better. Well, certainly not one of the romantic things to say on a first date, but it’s kind of an important one to understand their dating and attachment style.
If they have had a series of failed relationships in the past, the problem could be your date themselves. The way they speak about their ex partners can provide a great window into their mind on how they think about women in general. The point to remember here is that you will also need to be as honest and open about your past relationships as you expect them to be.
7. Go funny
Funny conversation starters are a great way to go about making the other person feel relaxed and at the same time get them interested in you. For example, you can tell your date about an amusing incident that happened at your workplace or college. Your date might be able to relate to it and tell you a similar story, which will keep the conversation flowing. Indeed, funny anecdotes, jokes, and incidents are the best things to talk about on a date if you already know the person.
8. Childhood stories
All of us have memories of ourselves as children. And if one has had a happy childhood, childhood stories can take us down memory lane and make us smile. Ask where they grew up and what they were like as a kid. Share your stories and wait for them to come up with one or two. If they don’t, maybe they don’t want to talk about their life as a kid. In that case, you better let this topic go.
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What to talk about on a date when you already know the person?
What to talk about on a date if you already know the person? Well, you are lucky! You don’t have to face the initial ice-breaking phase on the date, and you already have a fair idea of what the person likes and dislikes. The pressure is comparatively low when you are looking for topics to talk about on a first date with a friend. You both have landed on this date because you already known each other to some extent and, you liked what you learned about them.
You could discuss mutual friends or experiences you have shared together. If you like something about them but have been hesitant to tell them, now is the time. Expressing your liking will change the flavor of the date from friendly to romantic, and might lead to a pleasant situation for both of you.
Things to avoid on a first date
There are some things to avoid on a first date, and keep the room open for subsequent ones. Let’s talk about certain dating etiquette and obvious first-date mistakes to avoid to create the right impression on your date. Are you with me?
1. Keep that phone away
Who would like to be with someone who is constantly digging into their phone screens texting, posting, and liking stuff? Being on the phone while you are with someone can make them feel unimportant and ignored. Keep that phone away and answer only the very, very important phone calls. Focus on your date.
2. Skip controversial topics
Do not start talking about controversial topics, the major ones being religion and politics. These are things people are normally sensitive about and it is best to postpone conversations about them till you get to know the other person a little more. Avoid asking too many personal questions. Not everyone is willing to open up to someone they have only just met.
3. Don’t eat or drink too much
Yes, it is a date and you’re there to have fun, but you need to let the other person know that you are responsible too. Avoid gorging on too much food or getting drunk way out of your limit. Reserve such surprises for later dates. In the first one, order reasonably, eat slowly, and drink responsibly.
Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online
4. Skip marriage and kids
It is just a first date, and you still do not know whether you will see this person again. Talk about your family and gauge your date’s interest in marriage and kids. But do not give the idea that you want to rush things straight to the aisle! I am sure you won’t like to scare them away on the very first day.
5. Don’t talk more than you listen
Be open to listening. First dates are not about talking all the time, so let the other person participate in the conversation and gather all your attention to focus on them.
Do remember to compliment!
Remember to give at least one compliment to your date. It might be something as small as “You smell nice”, but it can do wonders to lift the mood and show your date that you are being attentive. Avoid being critical. Keep the conversation simple and fresh, and you’ll do great!