May-December pairings in relationships are not uncommon, be it in on-screen portrayals, among celebrity couples or even in the case of the average Joe and Jane. Yet, if you find yourself drawn to someone who is your senior by many years, the question about the viability of older man younger woman relationships does crop up, even if fleetingly.
There is no denying the fact that Hollywood couples like George & Amal Clooney and Harrison Ford & Calista Flockhart have shown the way forward in older man younger woman relationships. Even though the rumor mills are abuzz about how these star couples are dealing with older man younger woman relationship issues every now and then, they seem to have found the secret to keeping their partnerships going strong despite the difference in their years.
In this modern day and age, many women agree that they are more comfortable with the idea of dating older men or men who are more mature. If you’re one of those women, it helps to know how an old man and young girl can make their relationship work. To that end, we spoke with psychiatrist Dr Shefali Batra to understand the older man younger woman relationship psychology and why some women prefer to date much older men.
9 Reasons Why Older Man Younger Woman Dating Works
We have all seen younger women swooning over much older men and skipping a heartbeat or two over those salt-pepper looks. Heck, we’ve been that younger woman, at some point. What makes these young women gravitate toward older men? Why do younger women feel attracted to older men? Can an older man younger woman relationship be a fulfilling one?
Our expert sheds light on these questions by telling us the reasons why women like to be with older men:
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1. Women mature faster
The first reason why an older man and younger woman may date each other is that women mature faster compared to men. “Be it psycho-dynamically, emotionally, psychologically, they grow up faster compared to their male counterparts in the same age group.
“Hence, women connect better, mentally, and emotionally, with men who are older than them. The question is can an older man love a younger woman? Yes, he gels with her more because he is on the same wavelength with her,” says Dr Batra.
So, if you’ve wondered what attracts a younger woman to an older man or why older men like younger women, the answer is that the age difference makes them more in sync with each other. They may be separated by their years but have similar levels of emotional and intellectual maturity.
2. Older men can handle relationships better
“Older men tend to have more experiences in life and relationships. This gives them a better understanding of the psyche of an average woman. An older man is, thus, better equipped to take care of a younger woman’s expectations and needs. Whether it is unrealistic or realistic expectations in a relationship, an older man knows how to handle them,” Dr Batra says.
Older men are certainly more adept at dealing with these because they have reached a certain level of maturity and know-how to deal with different behaviors a woman exhibits. This is not to say that older man younger woman relationship issues don’t exist, but that these couples find a way around them.
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3. More professional stability
What attracts a younger woman to an older man? Well, an older man is more likely to be established in his career and has attained a certain level of success in life. This professional stability certainly gives a woman a greater sense of security.
“Of course, it’s not that women cannot or do not earn or take care of the man. But if you take our older man younger woman relationship advice the age-old norms of a patriarchal society tend to condition our minds on a subconscious level and women continue to associate professional success with security in relationships.
“Besides, having reached the peak of their career, older men are more relaxed about their professional goals and are able to give more time to their women,” Dr Batra explains.
4. More sexually evolved
Another reason behind an older man younger woman dating each other is the sexually evolved persona of the former. Older men know what women want and need in bed. This can lead to greater physical intimacy, making the age-gap relationship more fulfilling for both partners.
According to Dr Batra, older men younger women often find great sexual compatibility and this gives rise to more emotional intimacy in the relationship. This sexual and emotional compatibility is among the reasons why older men like younger women and vice-versa.
5. They’re more sophisticated
“With age comes sophistication, so older men are usually more experienced, sophisticated and smarter in their choices. They also are more likely to seek a meaningful, serious relationship than the younger ones who are more frivolous in their choices and decisions and most often not ready for commitment,” says Dr Batra.
An older guy dating a younger girl knows how to woo her. Not only can an older man love a younger woman but he also knows how to show his love and affection. Be it through romantic gestures like getting her flowers, understanding her emotional needs or indulging in pillow talk, he makes her feel appreciated and valued.
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6. They share responsibilities
Statistically speaking, older men know more about sharing responsibilities as compared to their younger counterparts. They may be handier around the home because they have more time at hand and have picked up some skills along the way. One simple example of this could be that older men are often better cooks than young guys.
So if you look at the older man younger woman relationship psychology, then this works wonderfully for both partners as they can create a partnership of equals in true earnest. The younger woman does not become nagging or clingy in such relationships because she feels secure, and the older man finds that excitement and spark that may have been missing from his life.
7. Older men follow holistic lifestyles
As you age, you tend to become mellow and less emotionally volatile. Older men are calmer and capable of making healthier lifestyle choices. A majority of older men indulge in exercise, eat healthily and look after themselves. We see so many older people today who are passionate about biking and weightlifting, participating in triathlons and so on.
On that note, it’s imperative to offer an important piece of older man younger woman relationship advice – an older man’s attitude to life and his relationship will be centered on stability and rhythm and the younger woman should learn to enjoy that.
Do older men like younger women because of their electrifying energy and zeal for life. Yes, sure. But he may not be able to match it. So, the younger partner has to be prepared to slow dance her way through this relationship rather than looking to set the floor on fire.
8. They make better life choices
Older men make more healthy and rational choices. That is why there are fewer older man younger woman relationship issues. And even the ones that arise from time to time are addressed and put to bed more healthily than they’d typically be dealt with in relationships where both partners are also peers.
This usually means that they will not do anything immature like getting crazy drunk, partying till dawn or breaking rules just for the heck it. They are more grounded. They are more sorted when it comes to finances and younger women don’ have to deal with financial stress if they have an older man as a partner.
Older men have a rhythm in their life that fits in golfing, Sunday brunches and beach holidays. This is what attracts a younger woman to an older man..
9. Their biological clock is not ticking
Men remain biologically fertile longer than women. So, when an older man younger woman date, they don’t have to worry about rushing into taking things to the next level because of a ticking biological clock. This would be a concern if the gender dynamics were reversed.
Also, older men are more settled and like to take things slow. They are in no hurry to get into nappy duties. That works out great for a younger woman.
Do Older Man Younger Woman Relationships Work?
Yes, age-gap relationships have existed and thrived in every age and time. If you look around, you’d find enough evidence that older man younger woman relationships work like a charm. However, this does not mean that there aren’t going to be ups and downs along the way. Being prepared for the potential pitfalls can help in navigating them more successfully.
Older man younger woman relationship issues
The question of can an older man love a younger woman enough to build a lasting relationship with her cannot be answered unless we look at some of the common issues May-December couples deal with. Here are some older man younger woman relationship issues you have to brace for:
- Difference of opinions: From your taste in movies and music to permissible screen time, you and your partner are going to disagree about a lot of things. This can lead to frequent bickering and arguments
- Insecurities: Insecurity can be a big issue in such relationships because ‘being old’ is often viewed as an inadequacy. An older man dating a younger woman could develop a complex, thinking that he is “lesser” than the men his partner’s age
- Possessiveness: An older man might be more possessive about the younger woman in his life. This possessiveness often stems from the fear of losing her. The woman, in turn, may find her partner’s possessiveness to be unreasonable and confining. This behaviour can interfere with personal independence, leaving the woman feeling that he exercises too much power and control over her
- Uncertainty about the future: This can be one of the most pressing older man younger woman relationship issues that can impact both partners. For instance, the younger partner may want to get married and start a family at some point. Given the man’s advancing years, he may be hesitant to go down that path again. If the age-gap is significant, the question of how long do they have together can loom large on the relationship, as the older partner’s mortality becomes more real
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Making older man younger woman relationship last
It is not as if an older man and younger cannot build a successful, stable, and fulfilling relationship. For that to happen, both the partners must respect each other’s boundaries and have mutual respect. Then the relationship becomes enriching and uplifting for both partners.
However, if the respect is lacking and he thinks that he can command respect simply because he is the older one in the relationship, it might lead to some serious problems. The key is to understand that despite the age difference, a relationship has to be based on equal partnership.
He is not the father here, he is a partner sharing his life with a person he loves.
An older man younger woman relationship with an age difference of 10, 15 years or more might work. But it is very difficult for them to find common ground in the long run. Their points of reference, beliefs, and ideas can be so drastically different that it may seem like the two partners have descended from different planets. Which can bring up the question – why do older men date younger women at all?
Well, because there is also an undeniable pull and charm to these unusual couple pairings. She makes him feel young and alive again, he makes her feel more secured and loved than she may ever have been in her past relationships. As long as both partners decide to work on their differences and make it a shared goal to overcome the challenges, age gap relationships can flourish and thrive.
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An older man can always date a younger woman and age gap relationships can work wonders. Some relationship problems can arise from the age gap, but if that is handled, the relationship can be great.
Apart from his salt-and-pepper hair, his penchant for healthy life choices and the financial security he brings to a relationship, a younger woman is attracted to an older man because he is more understanding and emotionally sound.