According to social conventions in the Indian subcontinent, older men getting married to younger women is the norm. Many women agree that they are more comfortable dating and living-in with older men or men who are more mature. We spoke with psychiatrist Dr Shefali Batra to understand the older man younger woman relationship dynamics and why some women prefer to date much older men.
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9 Reasons Why Older Man Younger Woman Dating Works
We have all seen younger women swooning over much-older men and skipping a heartbeat or two over those salt-pepper looks. Heck, we’ve been that younger woman, at some point. What makes these young women gravitate toward older men? Can older man younger woman dating each other bring relationship fulfilment?
Our expert sheds light on these questions by telling us the reasons why women like to be with older men:
1. Women mature faster
The first reason behind an older man younger woman dating each other is that women mature faster compared to men. Be it psycho-dynamically, emotionally, psychologically, they grow up faster compared to their male counterparts in the same age group.
Hence, women connect better, mentally, and emotionally, with men who are older than them.
2. Older men can handle relationships better
Older men tend to have more experiences in life and relationships. This gives older men a better understanding of the psyche of an average woman. An older man is, thus, better equipped to take care of a younger woman’s tantrums and needs. Even if some of her expectations are unrealistic.
Older men are certainly more adept at dealing with these because they have reached a certain level of maturity and know-how to deal with different behaviours a woman exhibits. The age difference makes it easier for women to connect with an older man.
3. More professional stability
An older man is more likely to be established in his career and has attained a certain level of success in life. This professional stability certainly gives a woman a greater sense of security.
Of course, it’s not that women cannot or do not earn or take care of the man. However, the ages-old norms of a patriarchal society tend to condition our minds on a subconscious level and women continue to associate professional success with security in relationships.
Besides, having reached the peak of their career, older men are more relaxed about their professional goals and able to give more time to their women.
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4. More sexually evolved
Another reason behind an older man younger woman dating each other is the sexually evolved persona of the former. Older men know what women want and need in bed. This can lead to greater sexual compatibility, making the age-gap relationship more fulfilling for both the partners.
5. They’re more sophisticated
With age comes sophistication, so older men are usually more experienced, sophisticated and smarter in their choices. They also are more likely to seek a meaningful, serious relationship than the younger ones who are more frivolous in their choices and decisions.
6. They share responsibilities
Statistically speaking, older men know more about sharing responsibilities as compared to their younger counterparts. They may be handier around the home because they have more time at hand and have picked up some skills along the way. One simple example of this could be that older men are often better cooks than young guys.
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7. Older men follow holistic lifestyles
As you age, you tend to become mellow and have less emotionally volatile. Older men are calmer and capable of making healthier lifestyle choices. A majority of them indulge in exercise, eat healthily and look after themselves. We see so many older people today who are passionate about biking and weightlifting, participating in triathlons and so on. That can be pretty impressive for a younger woman.
8. They make better life choices
Older men make more healthy and rational choices. This usually means that they will not do anything immature like getting crazy drunk, partying till dawn or breaking rules just for the heck it. They are more grounded.
9. Their biological clock is not ticking
Men remain biologically fertile longer than women. So, when an older man younger woman date, they don’t have to worry about rushing into taking things to the next level because of a ticking biological clock. This would be a concern if the gender dynamics were reversed.
Do Older Man Younger Woman Relationships Work?
There are going to be ups and downs, differences in opinions on plenty of things in an age gap relationship. An older man might be more possessive about the younger woman in his life. This possessiveness often stems from the fear of losing her.
The double-edged sword of insecurity
Insecurity can be a big issue in such relationships because ‘being old’ is often viewed as an inadequacy. An older man dating a younger woman could develop a complex, thinking that he is “lesser” than the men his partner’s age.
This needs to be taken care of, otherwise, it can lead to myriad issues in the relationship later. For instance, the woman may find her partner’s possessiveness to be unreasonable and confining. This behaviour can interfere with personal independence, leaving the woman feeling that he exercises too much power and control over her. This can prove to be a double-edged sword, as the older partner may think that his actions are justified, given that he has more life experience.
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Making older man younger woman relationship last
It is not as if an older man and younger cannot build a successful, stable, and fulfilling relationship. For that to happen, both the partners must respect each other’s boundaries and have mutual respect. Then the relationship becomes enriching and uplifting for both partners.
However, if the respect is lacking and he thinks that he can command respect simply because he is the older one in the relationship, it might lead to some serious problems. The key is to understand that despite the age difference, a relationship has to be based on equal partnership.
He is not the father here, he is a partner sharing his life with a person he loves.
An older man younger woman relationship with an age difference of 10, 15 years or more might work. But it is very difficult for them to find common ground in the long run. Their points of reference, beliefs, and ideas can be so drastically different that it may seem like the two partners have descended from different planets.
Now, this is not to say that such relationships cannot work out at all. But there are bound to be certain challenges along the way. However, if the two partners decide to work on their difference and make it a shared goal to overcome the challenges, age gap relationships can flourish and thrive.