Are you aware of a new bug going all around and everyone around you is catching it? It’s called marriage and your friends and peers are dropping like flies after being affected by it. You open up social media and everyone from your high school classmates have either changed their statuses to “getting married” or updating a name change after marriage even as there is a chorus on their timeline of friends wishing them a happy married life or happy marriage. Is all this leaving you thinking when will I get married? More importantly, does this make you wonder, why do people get married at all? While procreation of the human race is one reason but dig deeper, and there are plenty of reasons to get married.
Bonobology gives you a lowdown of some of the most common yet foolish, zany, fun, right and wrong reasons to get married…With a super breakdown of both the best and awful reasons to get married, you will have no doubts if it’s your turn at the altar.
7 Good reasons to get married
Yes there are plenty of good reasons to get married. Marriage can be a beautiful thing and here’s why you should and must go for it.
1. You are in love
Love makes your world go round. And it’s finally happened to you and it feels right enough that you wish to take your love to the next level. You dream of your partner in new roles in a husband and wife relationship after marriage and imagine sweet babies in your arms in a few years.
2. Makes you more responsible
Marriage is finally about letting someone into your life and both partners being responsible for each other.
You have reached a point where you feel the need to nurture and care for someone apart from yourself.
While it feels jittery to some, you, on the other hand, are more than ready to take on the highs and lows of newly married couples and finally accepting to commit to a lasting partnership that only marriage can bring.
3. Sharing your life with someone
You feel that after years of living the single life, you are finally ready to drop anchor and nest and share your life with someone and come home to someone at the end of the day.
4. To start a family
Growing up, the idea of a family and children had been important for you.
You feel that a family is something you always wanted for yourself and see yourself easily slipping to the roles. You are able to see yourself and your partner reaching this goal together and have already had several conversations about this and are on the same page.
5. A great support system
Marriage gives both partners stability and an all-access zone to each other’s vulnerabilities, pains, successes, and even trauma. This makes them a stakeholder in all your good and bad times and even a shoulder for your parents to lean on. A supportive spouse can be a great uplifting influence and the best sounding board even.
6. Growing old with someone
You may mean many things to the world, but for someone, you mean the world. From those silly early morning conversations to learning each other’s quirks to holding onto one other through illness and growing old with that special someone, marriage gives you a great window seat to this life.
In a marriage, you are able to enjoy the simple things in life with someone forever. Be it travel, everyday conversations, mood swings, caring for elderly parents and children, sharing kitchen duties, to sharing life experiences. Even better yet are the myriad memories you can make with someone in a marriage and the camaraderie you can build up slowly over the years in a marriage.
7 Foolish and awful reasons to get married
1. To figure out your relationship problems
Nothing is going right in your love relationship and doubts gnaw at you all the time.
You feel that life as a married couple will reduce all the uncertainty, stress and doubts in your relationship and enforce some stability.
You pin hopes that life after marriage may smoothen out some of the creases in your love relationship.
2. No one wants to be alone
As close friends take their shot at having a happy married life, you see yourself being left alone.
Marriage is still seen as a rite of passage in our society. You dread the constant question of ‘are you married’ and feel at times that you may have missed the bus and are staring at a deadbeat future alone.
You feel intensely lonely as your friends taking their first steps as a married couple.
3. You don’t want to face up to your own problems
Our society regularly primes us to see marriage as a one-stop solution to all our problems. Many of us want to buy into this fantasy even as we have yet to confront and work out our own personal demons or problems.
Mostly we wish to escape our own fear of dealing with childhood trauma, or a bad breakup, your failure at a career, healing from a life event, deep-seated issues with your parents or guilt and expect marriage and a partner to do the work for us.
4. Everyone’s getting married
You are tired of being the bridesmaid or best man at every other friend’s wedding. Answering every relative and family member on your wedding plans is another nag you’d rather avoid. Many of your friends have graduated to having kids even as you are barely acing the dating game.
The single life refuses to hold the charm it used to.
All your married friends are busy hooking you up with people so you all can socialize together on a couple of nights.
5. You are dying to have the dream wedding
Your social media feed is littered with those Oh-so-perfect wedding pics and the glittering smiles and revelry while you have saved up pictures of wedding rings and that perfect wedding dress for your big day- which is a far cry yet.
You want that big fat Indian wedding and so does your family who drop constant hints of a good rishta/match. You are tempted to plan an insane wedding planning, pose for those gorgeous photos of both of you as newlyweds and the honeymoon!
You attach a certain glamour to life after marriage and want to have those fantasy couple goals in the first few months as a married couple.
6. Loneliness & Boredom
As your pool of friends starts disappearing, you realize that life after marriage for all your married friends has changed drastically, leaving you like the odd one out. Dating does not hold the promise it used to earlier and as your friends start prioritizing their marriage, you realize that loneliness and boredom can be cured with a marriage. With lesser friends for socializing, you are on your own a lot and feel bored and feel that a spouse is a perfect antidote to ward off the loneliness.
7. Your ex or exes are married
Let’s face it, who doesn’t feel that slight twinge of jealousy when confronted with the wedding pics of an ex with a brand new partner staring at a lifetime of togetherness while all you have is your cat or your DVD collection.
You feel a marriage now will bring back the attraction that your ex felt for you and who knows may even make you end up feeling “one-up” in this heady game of the ‘new couple’ on the block.
In the end you should tie the knot only when you feel you are ready.