We all know men flirt, but what we have trouble understanding is why do married men flirt? Every time a man with a wife and family flirts with a woman, she feels lost. She struggles to understand whether it’s a married man flirting or just being nice to her. And if he is, then why? Is he unhappy? Is she provocative? Is it the thrill of the chase or she simply looks easy to land in bed? Is he genuine?
While everyone loves attention, when it comes from a married man, the attention is seldom harmless. There is a thin line between him being nice and helpful to you, and flirting with you in ways that you don’t even realise. If you find yourself in that confused space, look for the subtle signs that a married man is flirting to get your answer.
He may have his reasons. Why complicate your life by becoming involved in a messy triangle? He is already committed to another person and has made a promise to love his wife forever. Now he is breaking the promise and crossing the line by showing interest in you. He is lying to his spouse and breaching her trust. Don’t you think he will repeat the same behaviour when he is in a relationship with you in the future? Think about all this carefully before reciprocating.
Related reading: I walked away when he proposed affair, not marriage
This person showing explicit interest in you could be anyone in your life: a colleague or boss, your neighbour, a friend of your spouse, or the parent of the kids you tutor. No matter how much attention he gives, you must be firm is your resistance to his overtures and avoid getting trapped in this tricky relationship. Knowing how to tell if a married man is attracted to you will help you deal with the situation a lot better.
22 Signs A Married Man Is Flirting With You
Married men often know how to charm other women, even though their wives may complain about not getting enough attention. Given their sauve, charming ways, how do you whether a married man is flirting or just being nice? Having an answer to this question will give you an insight into their true intentions and help you figure out how to handle a married man flirting with you. Therefore, pay heed to the following 22 signs a married man likes you more than a friend to plan your course of action:
1. He will make excuses to be around you
Even if he has nothing to do with you, he will try to spend as much time around you as possible. One of the tell-tale signs a married man is flirting with you is that he’ll look for ways to help you or take help from you. He may befriend your friends so that he can get into your inner circle and even charm them to score points with you.
2. He will always initiate conversations with you
You will notice he is overly polite when talking to always you, and does not let any opportunity to initiate a conversation pass. He’ll ask how your day is going, what your plans are for the weekend, how are things at your workplace and enquire about the things that bother you. In short, he’ll give you exactly the attention you are probably craving. These conversations will flow generously through the week and then suddenly dip during weekends. This is one of the classic signs a married man likes you more than a friend and wants to keep you off his wife’s radar.
Married men often initiate conversations, as it is the only way in which they will get to flirt with single women and know you better.
3. He will get too personal while talking to you
A casual conversation about your interests, family and so on as a courtesy or to make small talk is perfectly acceptable, irrespective of the person’s marital status. But if he seems overly interested in your personal life, you can be sure that he is into you. He may ask you things like what makes you sad or about your phobias. He will try to dig into your past life and try to sympathize with you where you need it.
4. He will become interested in who you date
Wondering how to tell if a married man is attracted to you? Pay attention to the things he talks to you about. If he has ulterior motives, he will be unusually interested in your dating life. If you have a boyfriend, then he will probably be interested in how you two spend time together and so on. He may also point out things which are not okay about your boyfriend or your relationship. But will do so subtly, so as not to arouse your suspicion.
Related reading: 12 Signs A Married Man Is Falling In Love With You
5. He will compliment you frequently
This one is another classic behavioural trait of a married man who is flirting with you. He will make it a point to praise you as and when possible. From your smile to your dressing style and your personality, he’ll seem to be in awe of everything about you and shower you with praise just to make you happy. He may even compare you to his wife and say how much better you are. How easy to be with and so on.
6. He will be humorous around you
He will tap into the power of humour to charm you. All his jokes will be aimed at making you laugh. He wants to show you that he is witty, fun to be around, light-hearted and easygoing. If this behaviour pattern is recurrent, it should give you an idea about his intentions.
Related reading: What I Learned From My Affair With A Married Man
7. He will laugh and attentively listen to what you have to say
There will always be a smile on his face while talking to you and he will attentively listen to every word you say. He will respond at the right juncture and ask the right questions to show that what you’re saying is important to him. This shows that he genuinely is interested in and secretly attracted to you.
8. Texting you becomes his habit
Clear differentiation between a married man flirting or just being nice is the extent to which he wants to stay connected to you. Texting you several times in a day will become his habit. He will reach out just to know what you are doing, where you are and when will you meet him. When a married man flirts with a single woman he wants to keep a tab on her all the time. Also, he might send flirtatious texts with subtle hints or hidden messages of love.
Related reading: 7 Ways To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
9. He’ll flood your social media profile with comments and likes
He will take to his flirtatious ways even on social media and flood your posts and photos with comments and likes. This is because it gets the message across while making him look innocent, as he is putting it all in the open on a public platform.
10. He will shower you with gifts
Another one of the unmissable signs a married man is flirting with you is that he’d try to woo by buying gifts and spending money on you. He’ll bring your customised or expensive gifts to let you know that he is thinking about you. For instance, if he is away for a business or work trip, he may come back with an expensive perfume, a piece of jewellery or something that you wanted and have mentioned in passing to me. This thoughtfulness may make you develop feelings for him as well, but remember that a love affair with a married man cannot be justified.
11. He will never wear his ring when you are around
Whenever he meets, you will notice that his wedding ring is gone. By not wearing his ring when you are around, he is actually inviting you to develop a relationship with him.
Or maybe tell you indirectly that perhaps his marriage is not that important to him. Be careful about how you interpret his action.
12. He will change his attitude toward you in front of his wife
Another tell-tale indicator of whether a married man is flirting or just being nice is how he behaves with you in front of his wife. If he’s flirting, his behaviour toward will be different in his wife’s presence. He will act distant and show less warmth towards you. He will change the tone of his voice as well so that his wife does not catch him flirting with you. He will not be available to see you on weekends and late nights too. Some men actually may even tell you to not text or call after a certain hour.
13. He will keep inviting you for dinners and luncheons
He’d want to make sure that he can keep in touch with you and have you around him as often as possible. To this end, he will suggest taking you out for lunch, snacks or dinner as and when you have time.
14. He will value your likes and dislikes
Whenever you both talk, his focus will be on discovering all about your likes and dislikes. After that, he will present himself in such a way that he seems absolutely compatible with you. This is one of the key signs a married man is flirting with you. He may also feign the same likes and dislikes as you to show how good you’ll be together.
Related reading: 15 Tips To Stop Dating A Married Man
15. He will get jealous pretty easily
Since he is married and not able to commit to you openly, he will get extremely jealous if anyone else approaches you romantically. He might become possessive and obsessive in his behaviour.
16. Complains about his married life to you
If he sulk about his married life and tells you about all his issues with his spouse, then it is an unmistakable sign a married man likes you more than a friend. He may even exaggerate or makeup issues and continually tell you how unhappy he is at home and how he is never at peace. One thing that all married men say is, ‘My wife does not understand me’. These stereotypical lines should be considered a red flag.
17. His behaves differently when he is alone with you and in public
Publicly, he will act all professional and perhaps distant. But when he is alone with you, he will try to be touchy-feely and extra sweet. He’ll also bring up things you had once mentioned just to make you see how he remembers everything about you. Pay attention to his behaviour patters.
18. He will keep checking you out
Whether you are available for a relationship or not, a married man who wants to flirt with you will keep checking you out and stare at you when you are not looking.
19. He will make you run errands for him
Just the thought of you doing something for him gives him an odd sense of satisfaction. He will ask you for favours in such a charming way that you will not be able to refuse.
20. He will try to impress you with his looks
Another one of the signs a married man is flirting with you is his attention to his looks. He knows that he is competing with eligible bachelors. So he will try to impress you with his looks and appearance.
Related reading: What Are The Consequences Of Affairs Between Married Couples?
21. He will get nervous around you most of the time
Since he doesn’t want to upset you or push you away, you’ll find him being extra cautious and somewhat nervous around you. He will weigh his words carefully to make sure he doesn’t give away anything that makes you suspect his intentions.
22. You will be uncomfortable around him
Women have a very strong sixth sense that picks up that something is amiss long before we consciously acknowledge it. If a married man is trying to flirt with you, something in your gut will tell you to get your guard up.
A sense of uneasiness may set in and you may not find his presence around pleasing. So, visibly you will not be comfortable around him.
How To Tell If A Married Man Is Attracted To You? – Body Language Signs
A person’s body language tells us more about them and their intentions than their words ever will. To be sure that you’re drawing the correct conclusion on the matter, pay attention to a married man’s flirting body language. This will help you decide wisely whether you want to actually develop a relationship or limit your interactions with him. Ultimately, that choice is yours.
Sometimes married men just flirt with single women without crossing the line to infidelity. Here are certain married man flirting body language signs to look for to know what is actually going on in his mind and heart:
- He will stare at you most of the time, hold your gaze and even look embarrassed if you notice him staring at you.
- Whenever he talks to you or vice versa, he will lean toward you.
- He may position himself in such a way that he looks taller than you and you get the impression of him being stronger.
- He will keep fidgeting, subconsciously or consciously, when talking to you.
- He will always maintain eye contact with you.
- He may touch his hair and blink more when talking to you. In a group setting, he may fix his gaze on you, again and again, indicating his interest.
- He will always try to touch you to express his affection.
- The married man might also try to mirror every move that you make.
These are just a few of the body language signs which might help you in making sure that a married man is not just being nice to you but is looking for something else with you.
How to handle a married man flirting with you?
Having a relationship with a married man will leave you all alone and devastated in the long run, especially if he fails to commit to you. Therefore, your best bet is to avoid getting involved with a married man. Once you notice the signs, keep your distance and let him know you’re not interested. If needed, have a chat with him and convey your lack of interest in clear, explicit terms. It will be embarrassing and awkward, but it is a conversation you cannot avoid.
On the other hand, if you have feelings for him as well, then tell him you are not ready to be the second woman in his life. Now, the ball is in his court. Wait and watch how he plays it. If he genuinely likes you, he might end his relationship for you. But ask yourself this – do you really want to break a family which has been together for years? Will your relationship with this married man be able to sustain the baggage of a broken home?
Besides, if a married man can leave his family for you, he may leave you for the next one. That is a real, tangible risk. And it is something that will constantly haunt you whether it actually happens or not. This account of a young girl who had an affair with her married teacher will put things in perspective.
However, if things really do not work out between the married man and his wife and they get a divorce, then you can think about him.
But if he is all happy in his marriage, it may leave you wondering why do married men flirt?
Why Do Married Men Flirt?
For a majority of married men, flirting is just a pastime – more to feed their desire of being wanted. In any way, flirting is always an indication of dishonest behaviour, shaking the very foundation of a committed married life. Married men flirt for diverse reasons, and not always to have sex. They just want to see how attractive they are even after marriage. They want to boost their self-esteem and confidence.
Some of them might be bored of their present married life, so they want variety and spice in their life. Some may want sex, while some may just flirt harmlessly to gain attention and be popular among the women.
However, there might be a few married men who genuinely get attracted to another girl and flirt to develop a relationship with her.