A married man flirting with you is often a prelude to complications and messy equations. Not to mention, it can leave you confused. Unsure of his intentions, you may find yourself struggling with questions like,

• Am I reading this right?
• Was that intentional flirty touching or am I being a prude?
• Did I send him the wrong message in some way?
• How do I respond to his advances?
• Can I do something to avoid it?

Even if you love the attention and enjoy flirting with a married man, it can be hard to know where to draw the line. If you’re not careful, you may find yourself catching feelings for a man who is already spoken for. What if he is just engaging in some harmless flirting without meaning to take it forward? You stand to get hurt.

On the other hand, what if he is flirting with intent and your reciprocation emboldens him to cross the line of fidelity? Well, you end up being the other woman in his life and still stand to get hurt. No matter how it plays out, the situation is likely to get complicated. That’s why, it’s important to be mindful of the subtle signs a married man is flirting with you, so you can handle the situation efficiently.

22 Signs Of A Married Man Flirting With You

According to a study, married men are more likely to cheat on their spouses than married women. The data is in line with what is a common presumption — it’s not unusual for a man to be married and looking for some attention, or more. So, that flirtatious married coworker who has been making intense eye contact with you could well be making a pass at you. Why, you wonder? Well, married men flirt for diverse reasons:

• They might want to boost their self-esteem and confidence, gauging if they are still attractive
• Some might be bored with their married life and want to add variety and spice
• Some may be dealing with sexual incompatibility with their spouse and looking for sex elsewhere
• Others may flirt to gain attention and be popular among women
• Some may genuinely get attracted to a girl and flirt to develop a relationship with her

Whatever the reason, one thing is clear, the man is already in a committed relationship. That is always dangerous territory to wade into, no matter how charming or suave the man expressing an interest in you. Married men who flirt may claim it is just harmless banter or light-hearted fun. But if you reciprocate by flirting with a married man, chances are, he will jump at the opportunity to take things to cheating-ville. This makes it doubly important to be able to separate friendliness from flirtation. To help you make that distinction, here are 22 signs of a married man flirting with you:

1. He will complain about his wife to you

“Is a married man flirting with me?” If you wrestle with this dilemma often, here is a tell-tale clue you just cannot misread: he’d complain about his wife to you, either unabashedly or subtly. Take a moment to reflect,

• Does he sulk about his married life and tell you about his issues with his spouse?
• Does he exaggerate or make up issues every day?
• Does he continually tell you how unhappy he is in his marriage and how he is never at peace?
• Does he drop you a message immediately after a fight with his wife, telling you about it?
• Does he often say, “My wife does not understand me”?

If so, he is certainly trying to flirt. The best thing to do in such a situation is to trust your gut. If you get a feeling that this guy is being manipulative and trying to use the beaten “sordid married life” tale to get your attention and then charm you with his flirtatious ways, trust your intuition and stay as far away as possible.

2. He doesn’t wear his ring when you are around

Whenever he meets you, you will notice that his wedding ring is gone. Maybe he is telling you indirectly that his marriage is not that important to him, and he wants you to notice him. He may have gone to the extent of symbolically taking his ring off to make you feel as if you’re the only one that matters. Let’s face it, he’s not keeping it in his pocket for safekeeping, is he? He’s probably initiating a hookup.

Susana, 29, who works at a law firm, had a similar quandary when a married coworker started getting too cozy with her. She says, “A married coworker I have shared a great rapport with suddenly seems interested in me. At least, I think he is. The last few times we went out to grab a coffee at the office cafeteria, I noticed he had removed his ring. I wonder, why would a married man be interested in me when he has a beautiful wife? Is he flirting with me or am I reading too much into the situation?”

Susana is clearly not reading too much into the situation. When a married man never mentions his wife or tries to hide her presence in his life in other ways, he wants to look available to the women around him. No better way to tell if a married man is flirting with you!

Related Reading: Dealing With A Crush At Work – How To Handle A Crush On A Coworker

3. He will change his attitude toward you in front of his wife

Another tell-tale indicator of whether a married man is flirting or just being nice is how he behaves with you in front of his wife. If he’s flirting, his behavior will be different in his wife’s presence.

• He will act distant and show less warmth toward you
• He will change the tone of his voice as well so that his wife does not catch him flirting with you
• He will not be available on weekends and late nights
• He may tell you not to text or call after a certain hour

This may leave you even more confused about his intentions. “A married man flirts then ignores me. I wonder what’s on his mind,” you may find yourself thinking. His actions convey only one thing: he doesn’t want his wife to know about you. These could be signs he really likes the other woman, i.e. you, and hopes to kindle a romantic relationship with you on the sly. Or it could mean that while he does find you attractive, he doesn’t want to sabotage his marriage in any way.

4. He behaves differently with you when alone vs in public

“Married man flirts then ignores me” — this seems to be a rather common experience among women who find themselves at the receiving end of a married guy’s attention because he may behave differently in different scenarios. Publicly, he may act all formal and perhaps distant.

If you work together, you may notice that he does not show all the obvious signs of a married man flirting at work in front of other coworkers. But when he is alone with you, he will try to be intimate and extra sweet. When a married man flirts with you and you’re not sure what to make of his behavior, paying attention to his changing behavior and attitude may help clear up the confusion.

5. He will get too personal while talking to you

A casual conversation about your interests, family, and so on to make small talk is perfectly acceptable, irrespective of the person’s marital status. But if a guy seems overly interested in your personal life, you can be sure that he is into you. But what constitutes “getting too personal”? Here are some indicators:

• He may ask you things like what makes you sad or about your fears
• He will try to dig into your past and your love life, and try to sympathize with you
• He will want to know about your favorite food, favorite perfume, favorite clothes, or your interest
• He may ask you about your sexual preferences, kinks, favorite positions, past sexual relationships, and the like

You may also notice a lot of sexual innuendos in his conversations with you. These are clear signs a married man is sexually attracted to you and wants to sleep with you.

6. He will make excuses to be around you

One of the telltale signs a married man is flirting with you is that he’ll look for ways to help you or take help from you. Even if he has nothing to do with you, he will try to spend as much time around you as possible.

• He may befriend your friends so that he can get into your inner circle and even charm them to score points with you
• You’ll often see him going out of his way to be around you, even if it means he’ll get home a lot later than usual
• He might offer to drop you home even though his destination is 20 miles in the opposite direction

The signs of male attraction do not change with a person’s marital status. So, if it’s a case of a married man flirting with you because he likes you, you will notice that he is ready to do everything in his power to be close to you.

Related Reading: 12 Signs A Married Man Is Falling In Love With You

7. He will always initiate conversations with you

One of the clearest signs a married man likes you more than a friend is he does not let any opportunity to initiate a conversation pass. You may even notice that he speaks to you differently than he does with others. He will be overly polite. He’ll ask how your day is going, what your plans for the weekend are, how things are at your workplace, or enquire about the things that bother you.

More interestingly, these conversations will flow generously through the week and then suddenly dip during weekends. This is one of the classic signs that a man is married and looking for a connection outside of his marriage. That is why he’d want to do everything in his power to keep you off his wife’s radar.

8. He will become interested in who you date

Wondering how to tell if a married man is attracted to you? Pay attention to the things he talks to you about. If he has ulterior motives, he will be unusually interested in your dating life. If you have a boyfriend, he’ll probably be interested in how you two spend time together and how the relationship is going.

He may also point out your boyfriend’s shortcomings, in an attempt to make your relationship seem toxic and make himself seem like a better man in comparison. He will be subtle about it, so as not to arouse suspicion about his motives. This need to meddle in your romantic life and a hint of jealousy you may notice when you talk to him about your partner or romantic interests is also among the subtle signs a married man is sexually attracted to you.

9. He will compliment you incessantly

This is another one of the classic signs of male attraction and you will see it when a married guy makes a move on you. He will praise you and be generous with compliments. From your smile to the way you dress to every aspect of your personality, he will find a way to appreciate every little thing about you.

He’ll seem to be in awe of everything about you and may even compare you to his wife and say how much better you are. While this can be flattering, it’s important to not lose sight of the fact that in comparing her to you, he is being disrespectful toward his partner and that is a red flag that should make you run in the opposite direction.

10. He will try to make you laugh

Married guys who flirt tend to be extremely charming, and humor plays a big role in it. One of the easiest tells of a married man flirting with you is that he will try really hard to make you laugh. He may come up with witty one-liners to crack you you or flirtatious jokes to make you blush.

When he’s not with you, he might even send you memes in an attempt to keep the conversation going. The point is he wants to show you that he is witty, fun to be around, light-hearted, and easygoing. If this behavior pattern is recurrent, it should give you an idea about his intentions.

11. He will listen attentively to what you have to say

When looking for signs a married man has a crush on you, paying attention to how he responds when you have something to say is a good strategy. If he is interested in you, he will do everything he can to show you he’s invested in what you have to say to him. There will always be a smile on his face while talking to you and he will listen attentively to every word you say. He will respond at the right juncture and ask the right questions to show that what you’re saying is important to him. This shows that he genuinely is interested and secretly attracted to you.

12. He will text you often

A clear differentiation between flirting and just being nice is how much he tries to stay connected to you. Texting you several times a day will come intuitively to a man who is flirting because he is attracted to you, even if you choose to leave him on read. He’d want to know what you’re doing, where you are, when you’d like to meet him, the whole nine yards. He might also send flirtatious texts with subtle hints or hidden messages of love just to test the waters. After all, married guys who flirt with intent are always trying to gauge if there is scope to take things to the next level.

13. He floods your social media profile with comments and likes

Is a married man flirting with me, you ask? To find a definitive answer, turn your attention to how he interacts with you on social media. If he floods your posts, photos, and stories with comments and likes, and slips into your DMs every chance he gets, there is little doubt that he is trying to express his interest in you.

Engaging with you on social media is the most seemingly innocuous way of getting the message across while making him look innocent, as he is putting it all in the open on a public platform. After all, there’s nothing wrong with a harmless like or comment, right? That’s unless he likes all 245 of your vacation pictures, from 5 years ago. Yikes! When he acts this way, his intentions aren’t that difficult to understand but something as crazy as this might just mean he’s obsessed with you.

Related Reading: What I Learned From My Affair With A Married Man

14. He showers you with gifts

Married men who flirt with intent are known to make grand gestures. If there is such a man in your life, you may find that he tries to woo you by buying you gifts and spending money on you. Big or small, customized, expensive or spontaneous, these gifts are meant to let you know that he is thinking about you. For instance, if he is away for a work trip, he may come back with an expensive perfume, a piece of jewelry, or something that you wanted and mentioned in passing to him. Don’t confuse this thoughtfulness for genuine friendship. Ask yourself, “Does he do this for other friends or is this married man flirting with me?”

15. He will keep inviting you for dinners and luncheons

He’d want to make sure that he can keep in touch with you and be around you as often as possible. To this end, he will suggest taking you out for lunch, drinks, or dinner as and when you have time. Since this is one of the painfully obvious signs a married man is pursuing you, enjoying the expensive meals and outings can be a double-edged sword. While you may enjoy the attention, you also know where entertaining his advances and reciprocating by flirting with a married man would lead.

Related Reading: 7 Ways To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You

16. He values your likes and dislikes

Whenever you talk to him, he may focus on discovering all your likes and dislikes, making it seem like you’re the only one that matters to him. This is yet another one of the charm-exuding tools in the kitty of married guys who flirt. However, be aware, hi might just use this information to present himself in such a way that he seems compatible with you. He may also feign the same likes and dislikes as you to show how good you’ll be together.

Go ahead and ask him a detailed question about that common thing he claims to be interested in. Watch him stutter and stammer while trying to come up with an appropriate reply so he doesn’t mess up his chances with you. Who said this whole ordeal couldn’t be a little fun?

17. He may get jealous pretty easily

If he is vying for your attention while there is another man in the picture, you may notice that he gets jealous easily. This is especially true in the case of a married man flirting with married woman but can also happen if you’re dating someone else or have a potential romantic interest. Since he is married and looking to build a connection with you, and at the same time, is not able to commit to you openly, he will get extremely jealous of your romantic life. This jealousy and possessive behavior is also one of the signs a married man is sexually attracted to you and all that flirting he’s been directing your way is hardly innocent.

18. He asks you for favors

Wondering how to tell if a married man is flirting with you? See if he asks you to do things for him. Just the thought of you doing something for him gives him an odd sense of satisfaction. He will ask you for favors in such a charming way that you will not be able to refuse. Plus, since he gets an ego boost from this odd power trip he enjoys being on, he might just increase the frequency of these requests as well.

19. His body language will be flirtatious

If you want to know how to know if a married man likes you, you need to pay attention to the way a flirt may act around you. Here are certain flirtatious body language signs and other physical ways that guys flirt:

• He will stare at you most of the time, hold your gaze, and even look embarrassed if you notice him staring at you
• When talking or listening to you, he will lean toward you
• He may position himself in such a way that he towers over you, giving you an exaggerated impression of his strength
• He will always maintain eye contact with you
• He may touch his hair and blink more when talking to you
• In a group setting, he may fix his gaze on you
• He will try to establish physical contact to express his affection
• He will try to mirror every move you make

Related Reading: 25 Body Language Signs A Man Is In Love With You

20. He will try to impress you with his looks

Another one of the signs he is married and looking for your attention is that he starts paying attention to his looks. He knows that he is competing with eligible bachelors. So he will put in greater effort to appear well-groomed and make sure you notice the changes he makes to his physical appearance. Be it a new cologne, a new wardrobe, or styling his hair differently, he will try to impress you with his looks and appearance.

21. He may act nervous around you

If you are looking for signs a married man likes you but is hiding it, pay attention to his anxious nerves! Since he doesn’t want to upset you or push you away, you’ll find him extra cautious and somewhat nervous around you. He will weigh his words carefully to make sure he doesn’t give away anything that makes you suspect his intentions. It might seem hilarious to see an adult, married guy get the sweats around you. But his infatuation with you gets the better of him.

22. You can just feel it

All of us have a very strong sixth sense that picks up when something is amiss long before we consciously acknowledge it. If a married man is flirting with you, something in your gut will tell you to get your guard up. A sense of uneasiness may set in and you may not find his presence comfortable. When that happens, trust your gut and do not try to subdue the feelings of uneasiness you may be feeling. You may not be able to do anything about his advances solely based on your gut feeling, you can at least try to minimize contact and stay out of his way.

How To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You?

This person showing explicit interest in you could be anyone in your life. A colleague or boss, your neighbor, a friend of your spouse, or a spouse of your friend. Depending on who he is, it might become less or more challenging to deal with his moves. How do you handle that?

On the other hand, you might like him back. In that case, flirting with a married man and reciprocating to his advances may seem tempting. Well, you know as well as we do that a relationship with a married guy can be fraught with trouble and can leave you feeling devastated. However, ultimately, the decision is yours to make. To help you arrive at the right decision, here are a few suggestions on how to respond to a married man flirting with you in different situations:

If you are not interested in his advances

Keep your distance. Make sure not to reciprocate his overtures. If that doesn’t give him a hint, have a chat with him and convey your lack of interest in clear, explicit terms. It will be embarrassing and awkward but it is a conversation you cannot avoid.

If you have feelings for him

You have a lot of decisions to make if you’re interested in a married man. First things first, you need to understand what it is that you hope to get from acting on your feelings and responding to his advances.

• Are you looking for a casual hook-up just to get it out of your system?
• Or do you want a long-term relationship with him?
• Are you both on the same page about what you seek from this connection
• Are you okay with breaking up a marriage?
• Can you bear the burden of being the other woman?

Introspect, analyze and communicate before you decide on how to respond to the flirtatious advances of a man you find so hard to resist.

Related Reading: What Are The Consequences Of Affairs Between Married Couples?

If you have feelings for him but are married

A married man flirting with married woman can open a can of worms. So, tread very, very cautiously. You may like him back but is that enough to hurt your family and spouse, and his? You are playing with the emotions of a lot of people in this case. You need to be absolutely sure before you make a move. Just casually flirting or giving mixed signals is not going to cut it.

If he doesn’t back off when you want him to

If you are struggling with saying no or getting your point across, you may need help from other people, like a close friend or a professional. In case a coworker in a superior position to you decides to misuse his power, you must report the matter to HR. Whoever he may be, if at any stage you feel threatened, your priority should be to safeguard yourself. Even if it means going to the authorities.

Final Thoughts

Having a married guy dropping hints all around you can leave you flustered. You might be left wondering if the married man is sending mixed signals. The possibility of love and romance may also seem enticing. But situations like these are bound to blow up sooner rather than later, causing irreparable damage to everyone involved. Our one-line advice? Tread with caution!

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