We all know men flirt, but what we have trouble understanding is why do married men flirt? Every time a man with a wife and family flirts with another woman, she feels lost. She struggles to understand whether it’s a married man flirting or just being nice to her. And if he is, then why? Is he unhappy? Is she provocative? Is it the thrill of the chase or she simply looks easy to land in bed? Is he genuine?
While everyone loves attention, when it comes from a married man, the attention is seldom harmless. There is a thin line between him being nice and helpful to you, and flirting with you in ways that you don’t even realize. If you find yourself in that confused space, look for the subtle signs that a married man is flirting to get your answers.
So, what are the signs a married man is pursuing you? What could even be going on his head while he’s trying to act like your knight in shining armor when his queen already waits for him back home? What does it mean when a married man flirts? Read on to figure it all out.
22 Signs A Married Man Is Flirting With You
According to a study by Institute for Family Studies, married men are most like to cheat on their spouses than married women. The data is in line with what we’ve been seeing and what the studies have been backing up since time immemorial. So it’s entirely possible that that overtly flirtatious married coworker might just be head over heels for you. But what does it even mean when a married man flirts hot and cold?
Well, he may have his reasons. Why complicate your life by becoming involved in a messy triangle? He is already committed to another person and has made a promise to love his wife forever. His immoral choice of crossing the line by showing interest in you shouldn’t affect you, but yet it does.
If you’re considering a relationship with this married man, assuming his interest to be genuine, know that he is lying to his spouse and breaching her trust. Don’t you think he will repeat the same behavior when he is in a relationship with you in the future? Think about all this carefully before reciprocating.
This person showing explicit interest in you could be anyone in your life: a colleague or boss, your neighbor, a friend of your spouse. No matter how much attention he gives, you must be firm in your resistance to his overtures and avoid getting trapped in this tricky relationship. Knowing how to tell if a married man is attracted to you will help you deal with the situation a lot better.
Married men often know how to charm other women, while their wives might complain about being ignored. Given their sauve, charming ways, how do you know if a married man is flirting or just being nice? Having an answer to this question will give you an insight into their true intentions and help you figure out how to handle a married man flirting with you. Therefore, pay heed to the following 22 signs a married man likes you more than a friend to plan your course of action:
1. He will make excuses to be around you
Even if he has nothing to do with you, he will try to spend as much time around you as possible. One of the tell-tale signs a married man is flirting with you is that he’ll look for ways to help you or take help from you. He may befriend your friends so that he can get into your inner circle and even charm them to score points with you.
You’ll often see him going out of his way to be around you, even/especially if it means he’ll get home a lot later than usual. Suddenly, he might become the most helpful guy in the world, offering to drop you home even though his destination is 20 miles in the opposite direction.
2. He will always initiate conversations with you
You might notice he’s overly polite when talking to you, and does not let any opportunity to initiate a conversation pass. He’ll ask how your day is going, what your plans are for the weekend, how are things at your workplace and enquire about the things that bother you. In short, he’ll give you exactly the attention you are probably craving.
These conversations will flow generously through the week and then suddenly dip during weekends. This is one of the classic signs a married man likes you more than a friend and wants to keep you off his wife’s radar. Married men often initiate conversations, since it’s the only way they will get to flirt with single women and know you better. If he gives you his Netflix password, you know he’s already dreaming about you!
3. He will get too personal while talking to you
A casual conversation about your interests, family and so on to make small talk is perfectly acceptable, irrespective of the person’s marital status. But if he seems overly interested in your personal life, you can be sure that he is into you. He may ask you things like what makes you sad or about your phobias. He will try to dig into your past life and try to sympathize with you where you need it.
He will want to know about your favorite food, favorite perfume, favorite clothes or your interest in gadgets and gaming. One of the biggest signs a married man wants to sleep with you is if his questions approach more sexual topics. If he asks you about your sexual preferences, kinks, favorite positions and the lot, that’s exactly when you write an email to HR or drop his wife a text. That should get the job done.
Related Reading: 12 Signs A Married Man Is Falling In Love With You
4. He will become interested in who you date
Wondering how to tell if a married man is attracted to you? Pay attention to the things he talks to you about. If he has ulterior motives, he will be unusually interested in your dating life. If you have a boyfriend, he’ll probably be interested in how you two spend time together and how the relationship is going.
He may also point out your boyfriend’s shortcomings, in an attempt to make your relationship seem toxic and make himself seem like Brad Pitt in comparison. Since this man is most definitely overthinking the tactics he must use to get you in bed, he will put your boyfriend down subtly, so as not to arouse your suspicion.
5. He will compliment you incessantly
This one is another classic behavioral trait of a married man who is flirting with you. He will make it a point to praise you as and when possible. From your smile to the way you dress to every aspect of your personality. It’ll definitely be flattering, but this is when you need to maintain your distance so you make sure you don’t get caught up in this hot mess.
He’ll seem to be in awe of everything about you and shower you with praise just to make you happy. He may even compare you to his wife and say how much better you are. One of the classic signs a married man likes you more than a friend is when he’ll complain about his wife to you, even though to you they sound like the most absurd things to complain about. No wonder she doesn’t appreciate the work he does, he’s literally trying to cheat on her!
6. He will be humorous around you
He will tap into the power of humor to charm you. All his jokes will be aimed at making you laugh. He wants to show you that he is witty, fun to be around, light-hearted and easygoing. If this behavior pattern is recurrent, it should give you an idea about his intentions.
When he’s not with you, he might even end up sending you memes in a desperate attempt to continue the conversation with you. Talking to a married man everyday may not seem like the worst thing in the world in the beginning, but the more you see him pulling out his comic stand-up routine with you, the more you’ll realize you should perhaps maintain your distance.
7. He will laugh and attentively listen to what you have to say
There will always be a smile on his face while talking to you and he will attentively listen to every word you say. He will respond at the right juncture and ask the right questions, to show that what you’re saying is important to him. This shows that he genuinely is interested and secretly attracted to you.
8. Texting you becomes his daily routine
Clear differentiation between a married man flirting or just being nice is the extent to which he wants to stay connected to you. Texting you several times a day will come intuitively to him, even if you chose to leave him on read. The usual messages about what you’re doing, where you are, when you’d like the meet him, the whole nine yards.
When a married man flirts with a single woman he wants to keep a tab on her all the time. He might also send flirtatious texts with subtle hints or hidden messages of love, just in case the daily texts weren’t enough signs a married man is pursuing you.
Related Reading: What I Learned From My Affair With A Married Man
9. He’ll flood your social media profile with comments and likes
He will take to his flirtatious ways even on social media and flood your posts and photos with comments and likes. This is because it gets the message across while making him look innocent, as he is putting it all in the open on a public platform. After all, there’s nothing wrong with a harmless ‘like’, right?
That’s unless he likes all 245 of your vacation pictures, from 5 years ago. Yikes! Signs a married man wants to sleep with you aren’t that difficult to spot, but something as maniacal as this might just mean he’s obsessed with you. We’d advise you to maybe unfollow the man for a bit.
10. He will shower you with gifts
Another one of the unmissable signs a married man is flirting with you is when he tries to woo you by buying you gifts and spending money on you. He’ll bring you customized or expensive gifts to let you know that he is thinking about you. For instance, if he is away for a business or work trip, he may come back with an expensive perfume, a piece of jewelry, or something that you wanted and have mentioned in passing to him.
This thoughtfulness may end up convincing you that he isn’t all too bad, but remember that a love affair with a married man cannot be justified. The flowers and wine he gets you will only do so much when his wife comes storming into your house to have a “word” with you.
11. He will never wear his ring when you are around
Whenever he meets, you will notice that his wedding ring is gone. By not wearing his ring when you are around, he’s definitely inviting you to develop a relationship with him. Or maybe tell you indirectly that perhaps his marriage is not that important to him, and he wants you to notice him. Be careful about how you interpret his action.
If you do notice that he has symbolically taken his ring off, it’s a definite indication of when a married man flirts hot and cold. Let’s face it, he’s not keeping it in his pocket for safekeeping, is he? And he’s not really talking about how he took his ring off either. He thinks he’s being mysterious and slick when really, he couldn’t be further away from mysterious.
12. He will change his attitude toward you in front of his wife
Another tell-tale indicator of whether a married man is flirting or just being nice is how he behaves with you in front of his wife. If he’s flirting, his behavior will be different in his wife’s presence. He will act distant and show less warmth towards you. He will change the tone of his voice as well so that his wife does not catch him flirting with you.
He will not be available to see you on weekends and late nights too. Some men actually may even tell you to not text or call after a certain hour. When that happens, he’s basically screaming out at you that he doesn’t want his wife to know about you. If you were looking for signs a married man likes you more than a friend, look no further than how he acts with you around his wife.
13. He will keep inviting you for dinners and luncheons
He’d want to make sure that he can keep in touch with you and have you around him as often as possible. To this end, he will suggest taking you out for lunch, snacks or dinner as and when you have time. Moreover, it’s possible this sugar daddy might just treat you to the finest restaurants and the most expensive dinners, in an attempt to bedazzle you with his wealth.
Since this is one of the painfully obvious signs a married man is pursuing you, enjoying the expensive meals and outings is pretty much a double-edged sword. You like the attention and the meals, but you also know he’s only doing this to get into your pants.
Related Reading: 7 Ways To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
14. He will value your likes and dislikes
Whenever you both talk, his focus will be on discovering all about your likes and dislikes. After that, he will present himself in such a way that he seems absolutely compatible with you. This is one of the key signs a married man is flirting with you. He may also feign the same likes and dislikes as you to show how good you’ll be together.
Go ahead and ask him a detailed question about that common thing he claims to be interested in. Watch him stutter and stammer while trying to come up with an appropriate reply so he doesn’t screw up his chances with you. Who said this whole ordeal couldn’t be a little fun?
15. He will get jealous pretty easily
Since he is married and not able to commit to you openly, he will get extremely jealous if anyone else approaches you romantically. He might become possessive and obsessive in his behavior. Of course, he has no right to do so, but common sense was evicted from his mind the minute he decided he wanted to cheat on his wife.
If you’re talking to a married man everyday, the chances of him getting jealous increase indefinitely. Only when it reaches creepily obvious stages will you figure out you need to cut contact, or you could just catch him in his pathetic advances and stop him in his tracks.
16. Complains about his married life to you
If he sulks about his married life and tells you about all his issues with his spouse, then it is an unmistakable sign a married man likes you more than a friend. He may even exaggerate or makeup issues and continually tell you how unhappy he is at home and how he is never at peace.
One thing that all married men say is, ‘My wife does not understand me’. As though he’s a philosophical genius, understanding the likes of which is only accomplished by someone as smart as you. These stereotypical lines should be considered a red flag.
17. He behaves differently when he is alone with you and in public
Publicly, he will act all professional and perhaps distant. But when he is alone with you, he will try to be touchy-feely and extra sweet. He’ll also bring up things you had once mentioned just to make you see how he remembers everything about you. Pay attention to his behavior patterns.
18. He will keep checking you out
Whether you are available for a relationship or not, a married man who wants to flirt with you will keep checking you out and stare at you when you are not looking. It’s something he just won’t be able to cut out since his infatuation with you is bound to get the better of him sooner or later.
If every single time you turn your gaze towards him, he’s already looking right at you, it’s one of the classic telltale signs that a married man is pursuing you. It may seem sweet, but it gets creepy real soon as well. Perhaps consider spending some time away from him.
19. He will make you run errands for him
Just the thought of you doing something for him gives him an odd sense of satisfaction. He will ask you for favors in such a charming way that you will not be able to refuse. Plus, since his ego gets stroked by this odd power trip he enjoys being on, he might just increase the frequency of these errands as well.
If you’re shy and struggling with saying no, practice putting your foot down and taking a stand for yourself. If he’s your coworker and in a superior position than you, consult HR or a close friend about what you should do.
Related Reading: 15 Tips To Stop Dating A Married Man
20. He will try to impress you with his looks
Another one of the signs a married man is flirting with you is his attention to his looks. He knows that he is competing with eligible bachelors. So he will try to impress you with his looks and appearance. So he will get himself a grooming kit and make sure you notice the changes he makes to his otherwise shabby beard.
21. He will get nervous around you most of the time
Since he doesn’t want to upset you or push you away, you’ll find him being extra cautious and somewhat nervous around you. He will weigh his words carefully to make sure he doesn’t give away anything that makes you suspect his intentions. It might seem hilarious to see an adult, married man get the sweats around you, but that’s just one of the classic signs a married man likes you more than a friend.
22. The biggest sign a married man is pursuing you: you can just feel it
Women have a very strong sixth sense that picks up that something is amiss long before we consciously acknowledge it. If a married man is trying to flirt with you, something in your gut will tell you to get your guard up. A sense of uneasiness may set in and you may not find his presence around pleasing. So, visibly you will not be comfortable around him.
This is when you trust your gut and don’t try to subdue the feelings of uneasiness you may be feeling. What does it mean when a married man flirts and you couldn’t feel more creeped out? It means you need to stay far, far away from him.
How To Tell If A Married Man Is Attracted To You? – Body Language Signs
A person’s body language tells us more about them and their intentions than their words ever will. To be sure that you’re drawing the correct conclusion on the matter, pay attention to a married man’s flirting body language. This will help you decide wisely whether you want to actually develop a relationship or limit your interactions with him. Ultimately, that choice is yours.
The way he conducts himself around you can show you all the signs a married man wants to sleep with you. Just being a bit more attentive toward the things he does will give you all the information you need. Sometimes married men just flirt with single women without crossing the line to infidelity. Here are certain married man flirting body language signs to look for to know what is actually going on in his mind and heart:
- He will stare at you most of the time, hold your gaze and even look embarrassed if you notice him staring at you
- Whenever he talks to you or vice versa, he will lean toward you
- He may position himself in such a way that he looks taller than you and you get the impression of him being stronger
- He will keep fidgeting, subconsciously or consciously, when talking to you
- He will always maintain eye contact with you
- He may touch his hair and blink more when talking to you. In a group setting, he may fix his gaze on you, again and again, indicating his interest
- He will always try to touch you to express his affection
- The married man might also try to mirror every move that you make
These are just a few of the body language signs which might help you in making sure that a married man is not just being nice to you but is looking for something else with you.
How to handle a married man flirting with you?
Having a relationship with a married man will leave you all alone and devastated in the long run, especially if he fails to commit to you. Therefore, your best bet is to avoid getting involved with a married man. Once you notice the signs, keep your distance and let him know you’re not interested. If needed, have a chat with him and convey your lack of interest in clear, explicit terms. It will be embarrassing and awkward, but it is a conversation you cannot avoid.
Related Reading: What Are The Consequences Of Affairs Between Married Couples?
On the other hand, if you have feelings for him as well, then tell him you are not ready to be the second woman in his life. Now, the ball is in his court. Wait and watch how he plays it. If he genuinely likes you, he might end his relationship for you. But ask yourself this – do you really want to break a family which has been together for years? Will your relationship with this married man be able to sustain the baggage of a broken home?
Besides, if a married man can leave his family for you, he may leave you for the next one. That is a real, tangible risk. And it is something that will constantly haunt you whether it actually happens or not. However, if things really do not work out between the married man and his wife and they get a divorce, then you can think about him. But if he is all happy in his marriage, it may leave you wondering why do married men flirt?
Why do married men flirt?
For a majority of married men, flirting is just a pastime – more to feed their desire of being wanted. In any way, flirting is always an indication of dishonest behavior, shaking the very foundation of a committed married life. Married men flirt for diverse reasons, and not always to have sex. They just want to see how attractive they are even after marriage. They want to boost their self-esteem and confidence.
Some of them might be bored of their present married life, so they want variety and spice in their life. Some may want sex, while some may just flirt harmlessly to gain attention and be popular among women. However, there might be a few married men who genuinely get attracted to another girl and flirt to develop a relationship with her.
Even so, it doesn’t take away from the fact that by flirting with other women, they’re essentially betraying the trust of their wives. Don’t fall for the common tactics, and be on the lookout for the most obvious signs a married man is pursuing you. Even though it may seem enticing, it’s bound to blow up in your face sooner rather than later.