Months of planning, years of conceptualising a dream wedding. When the day finally arrives, you want it to be the most magical day of your life. Festivities and rituals, wedding ensemble and photographers, you leave no stone unturned to make your wedding day a fairytale-esque affair. Then, you venture into a new chapter of life with the much-hyped first night of matrimonial bliss. To make sure that pressure to make it special doesn’t ruin the moment for you, knowing what not to do on your wedding night is as important as having the right moves up your sleeve.
Related Reading: Why newly wed couples in Bengal cannot spend the first night together
What Not To Do On Your Wedding Night Checklist
The wedding night is important as this is the first time you are together after as a married couple. It doesn’t matter whether you have been living together or known each other for as long as you can remember, there is still something special about the wedding night experience. So, it is vital that you don’t end up ruining the experience in your zealousness for making this occasion special.
This checklist of what not to do on your wedding night will help you navigate the potential minefield of mistakes:
1. Expecting sex is among the common wedding night mistakes
Weddings are hectic. You are the centre of attention for an entire day, or maybe days at a stretch if you’re having an elaborate ceremony. Spending the day getting ready, performing rituals and socialising with guests and smiling constantly at people you don’t even know while looking your absolute best takes a toll on your body.
If there is one wedding night mistake you should definitely avoid, it is expecting sex – or worse, still pestering your spouse for it. It is possible that neither of you feels sexually charged up after an emotionally draining and physically taxing day. And that is perfectly okay.
That said, lack of sex doesn’t mean you can’t use this time together to set the tone for cultivating different types of intimacy in your relationship. Engage with your spouse, talk, kiss, cuddle, give each other a nice body rub – there are so many ways to feel close that don’t involve penetrative sexual intercourse.
Related Reading: First Year Marriage Problems: 5 Things Newly-Wed Couples Fight About
2. Do not invite your friends or family over
You may love your family or friends to bits, but in this moment, there is just no space for anyone other than the two of you. Do not invite your friend or family for drinks or a meal after the ceremony is over. No matter what.
In the Indian culture, it’s a ritual for a member of the bride’s family to accompany her to her new home. Even so, the bedroom door is where you should draw the line. No matter how overcome with emotions you are, this is one of the non-negotiable wedding night tips for brides, if you want to make this experience count.
You have entered a new phase in your life and your wedding night is the perfect avenues to kick start this new journey, without the intruders. Don’t ruin the sanctity of it.
3. Obsessing over your body can ruin the wedding night experience
Perhaps you’ve spent the past couple of weeks, or months, obsessing about your body. Whether you’ll fit into that wedding dress has been weighing on your mind. That’s only natural. Here is one of the most crucial wedding night tips for brides – shake off that obsession once you’ve walked down the aisle.
Worrying about how you look or whether that skimpy lingerie you picked out augments your flaws will only escalate the anxiety you’re feeling. That makes for the perfect recipe to ruin your wedding night experience. Want to wear that lingerie? Do it. Want to slip into a comfortable pair of PJs instead? Do that.
You spouse has seen you at your worst and best. So, worrying about how they will perceive you in that moment definitely falls in the what not to do on your wedding night category. Your spouse’s idea of a perfect night and perfect life is with you. No amount of bodily flaws is going to change that.
Related Reading: 10 Things Nobody Tells You About Marriage After The Wedding
4. What not to do on your wedding night? Going unprepared
Just like your wedding day, a million little things could go wrong on your wedding night too. Either of you could end up with a throbbing headache. Or all that wedding couture could give you a rash. It’s possible that something from the wedding menu didn’t sit right with your stomach, and you come down with indigestion. Or if you’re not prepared for sex but one thing leads to another, you could risk an unplanned pregnancy.
That’s why preparing for all foreseeable eventualities is one of the most important wedding night tips for the groom and bride.
Do not forget to keep an emergency medicine kit handy and stock it with basic medicines as well as any medication you may be on. Talk to your partner about the best contraceptive measure beforehand, and make sure you have it readily available on your wedding night. This way you can let loose and go with the flow without worrying about the consequences.
5. Unpleasant conversations can ruin the wedding night experience
It is a night of love, not a night of interrogation. You might be tempted to ask that one question you have always wanted to ask your spouse. Your wedding night is not the time for it. You have your entire life ahead of you and there will be plenty of opportunities to quell your curiosity. Similarly, avoiding any mentions about your ex, past relationships and experiences is critical for making your wedding night special.
At the same time, hold back any negative feedback about your spouse’s relatives or friends.
There might have been an irritating aunt or intrusive friend who you met during the wedding festivities. It may be bothering you but do not bring it up just yet. The same goes for confessions. Skeletons tumbling out of the closet is certainly not a pleasant wedding night experience. Unless you have murdered and buried someone in the backyard, any coming-clean kind of information can wait till the next day.
The bottom line is making your wedding night special is all about focusing on just the two of you and creating special memories to start off your married life with.
Tales Of Arranged Marriage Couples Who Didn’t Sleep On Their First Night
Adjustment In Marriage: 10 Tips For Newly Married Couples To Make Their Relationship Strong