Jealousy in a romantic partnership can kill the romance really fast. Even though people in a relationship find jealousy from their partner quite flattering at first, gradually the cuteness turns into a serious problem. How to deal with a jealous partner then? Well, it is very difficult and frustrating, to put it mildly. However, being in a relationship with a jealous partner shouldn’t be a definite red flag unless your partner turns abusive and tries to control your life.
If you have not given your partner any reason to mistrust you, then this jealousy could be a manifestation of an underlying issue your partner might be dealing with. It could be a result of a deep-seated trust issue, fear of abandonment, or a bitter aftertaste of a bad breakup. While these issues can seem hard to face on the surface, dealing with a jealous partner is not that difficult. All you need is undeterred commitment to work through the problem.
8 Tips On How To Deal With A Jealous Partner
Jealousy in a relationship can have a major impact on the love you have for your partner. It might feel cute and romantic at first, but things can take a pretty devastating turn real quick and ruin your peace as well as the relationship. How to deal with a partner with morbid jealousy then, you may ask. There are ways to deal with jealousy in a relationship and overcome it. Allow us to help you.
Dealing with a jealous husband or wife may be difficult and a little tricky but it’s not impossible. Jealousy shouldn’t really be a dealbreaker unless it turns stressful, controlling, or abusive. It is possible for partners to work through the issues if they are willing to try. If you’re stuck in a similar situation and looking for ways to deal with a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend, these 8 tips can help:
1. Don’t distance yourself
This is one of the most important tips on how to deal with a partner with morbid jealousy. Being with a jealous partner can make you feel crazy and you would possibly want to distance yourself a little from the incessant dependency-seeking behavior. Don’t do that! It will only aggravate the problem. Instead, try to find out the reason behind his insecurities.
If you want to fix a problem, it is important to get to the root cause of it. But if you distance yourself from your jealous girlfriend or boyfriend, you won’t be able to find a solution. Try to find its origins and ways to overcome it. Spend time with your partner, show affection and compassion. It’ll build trust in the relationship, which might help reduce jealousy.
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2. Talk about their fear and anxiety
This is another answer to your ‘how to deal with a jealous partner’ dilemma. Communication is of extreme importance in such a situation. Have a constructive conversation with your partner about what triggers the jealousy, how you feel about it, how their actions affect you, and what can be done to fix the problem.
Get your partner to talk about their fears or any anxiety they might be dealing with. Don’t dismiss or ridicule their emotions, but also don’t give a watered down version of how their jealousy affects you. Listen to them but also express your feelings and point of view. Practise empathy when your partner confides in you.
3. Don’t get defensive
The third tip on how to deal with a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend? If your partner accuses you of something, don’t get defensive right away. Take a step back, evaluate the situation, and respond appropriately. When you get defensive about your own actions, it amplifies your partner’s anxiety too. Instead, approach the situation calmly and reassure your partner about your commitment to the relationship.
Talk to your partner about the problem and what can be done to solve it. The idea is to build an attachment, a close bond with your partner. Getting defensive will beat the purpose. Calm their fears by explaining your side in a composed manner. Assure them that you intend to work through the problem. However, if you have valid reasons to end the relationship, this might be a good time to talk to them about it.
4. Show support
This is easier said than done. Of course, your partner has to fix the jealousy on their own, but they are going to need your support from time to time. It’ll be easier to deal with your partner’s jealousy if you are there when they need you the most. Being available and responsive goes a long way in dealing with a jealous partner.
Your presence will calm your jealous boyfriend or girlfriend and also help build trust between the both of you. Shower them with more affection, empathy, and compassion in this vulnerable time. We understand his behavior probably comes across as irrational to you but you will have to practice patience and show more support to deal with a jealous partner.
5. Create boundaries
Boundaries are signs of a healthy relationship. Knowing what makes you feel comfortable and what does not, and how you want to be treated by your partner is a good thing and saves both partners from several conflicts and arguments in a relationship. For a healthy relationship to flourish, it is imperative that you openly discuss the emotions that are important to you and also mention the lines that are not supposed to be crossed ever.
A jealous girlfriend or boyfriend might just try to invade your private space and ask you for access to personal information like finances or phone, email, and social media passwords as proof of your loyalty. They may also go through your laptop and personal items. It’s one of the signs of a jealous spouse. They may also go to the extent of getting physically abusive and violent if you refuse to fulfill their demands.
In the heat of the moment, you might just provide them with the information too but remember that once you do so, there is no going back. How to deal with a jealous partner then? Well, you will have to set some boundaries or ground rules in the relationship. While you are at it, you also need to make sure that you do not give your partner more reasons to get jealous. Having said that, if things get violent, call the authorities immediately. Seek help. Do not tolerate abuse.
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6. Make them feel special
This is one of the most effective tips on how to deal with a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse. Make your partner feel extra special by showering them with a lot more love and affection. This will not only reassure them of your commitment to the relationship, but also help calm their jealous mind faster.
They might be feeling unwanted. They also might feel as if you’re not spending enough time with them or you don’t love them enough. If that’s the case, try to talk to them and give them the affection they desire. Be more available, compassionate, and responsive. Their fears might not be rational to you, but showing empathy goes a long way in dealing with a jealous husband or wife and helping them heal.
7. Recognize when jealousy gets abusive
Healthy jealousy is one where a partner uses it to make themselves a better person. If either partner tends to get jealous due to a threat to the relationship, it can be considered normal. But if the jealousy has no reason and includes anger, accusation, control, and unrealistic demands and expectations, it’s a red flag and a behavior pattern likely to be repeated over and over again.
If your partner is trying to control your life or accusing you of something you didn’t do and you are constantly defending yourself against such accusations, know that it’s a red flag. You should seek help before matters get out of hand. Do not tolerate such behavior.
8. How to deal with a jealous partner? Create an atmosphere of trust
One of the most important tips on how to deal with a partner with morbid jealousy is to build trust between both of you. Try to create an atmosphere of trust. This involves being truthful to your partner about how you spend your time, who you meet, or where you go. Be honest with them whether they like it or not.
Building trust is a two-way street. It may lead to conflict or arguments but, at least, you know in your heart that you are honest with your partner. When they see that you are being honest and committed to the relationship, they’ll begin to trust you and that might just make them get over their jealousy.
Dealing with a jealous partner is not easy. As long as there are no signs of unhealthy or abusive behavior in the relationship, you can make the effort to mend things. Talking to them, showing empathy and affection, creating boundaries, and building trust are ways you can use to deal with their jealousy.
Below, we have provided you with some tips on how to help a jealous partner if you want your relationship to last. However, if things spiral out of control, don’t hesitate to call it quits.
5 Tips On How To Help A Jealous Partner
It is human nature to feel jealous. As long as that jealousy encourages partners to be the best version of themselves, it is healthy. But if they are using the emotion to exercise power over your life or it makes them become a possessive and controlling partner, then that’s a red flag. If not, then you can help them deal with it and eventually overcome such behavior.
Some amount of jealousy is normal in a relationship. At times, jealousy crops up due to underlying fears that have gone unaddressed for way too long. If you are stuck in a similar situation, allow us to help you. Here are 5 tips on how to help a jealous partner that might work:
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1. Try therapy
If things have really gone out of hand, seeking help from a professional might just help sort the mess. A relationship expert will be able to look at the situation from an unbiased lens and offer the right guidance on how to deal with a jealous partner. They’ll mediate the conflict and tell you aspects that both of you might have overlooked.
A therapist will also be able to get to the root cause of the problem and offer advice accordingly. They’ll help you find ways to communicate better and clear misunderstandings. If you are going through something similar, you can always reach out to Bonobology’s panel of licensed and experienced therapists for help.
2. Talk to your partner
This is one of the most important and effective tips on how to help a jealous partner. Communication goes a long way in sorting differences between couples. Talk to each other about how you feel. It encourages trust, respect, and the ability to be vulnerable with each other.
Feeling jealous on a daily basis is indicative of a breach of trust. It’s a sign that your jealous boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other is not feeling safe in the relationship. Talking will help partners understand mutual triggers and figure out ways to deal with the problem at hand.
3. How to help a jealous partner? Skip the blame game
Blame-shifting will do more harm to the relationship than good. It’ll affect the equation you share with your SO. So, skip the accusations and the blame game and try to have a productive and constructive conversation with your partner. Talk about how you feel about their actions instead of making the conversation about them.
For example, instead of saying things like “you did this” or “you did that”, try saying “I’ve been feeling this way about your behavior”. Attacking them will get them on the defensive but if you make the conversation about yourself and your feelings, it might just help in communicating with your partner better, which will eventually help both of you solve matters.
4. Figure out the root cause of the jealousy
This is a crucial tip on how to help a jealous partner. You need to figure out the underlying fears, anxiety, and any other issues, if you want to fix the problem. Instead of assuming or blaming your partner for being jealous from the get-go, make an effort to understand where the emotion is coming from. Talk to them about their triggers.
Getting to the root cause of the problem is the first step to fixing it. Jealousy can have many reasons – insecurities, attachment issues, broken trust, low self-esteem, past trauma, bad breakup, complicated family dynamics, sense of loss, etc. Understand the trigger and also try to analyze your own feelings toward the issue.
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5. Work together as a team
It takes two to tango. Fixing a problem requires effort and commitment from both parties. Remember that you and your partner will have to work as a team if you want to deal with the problem at hand. Have an honest conversation about what can be done to stop being jealous and get rid of the insecure feelings. Come to a compromise both of you are comfortable with.
If you think changing a habit of yours can help them overcome jealousy, commit to doing it temporarily. But make sure you communicate to your partner that it is a temporary solution designed to help them deal with their jealousy. Something as simple and basic as calling frequently throughout the day or spending more time with each other can go a long way in helping your partner deal with jealousy.
Jealousy may be a normal human emotion but it is imperative that you recognize and understand the difference between healthy jealousy and abusive or toxic behavior in the relationship. If you are being forced to stop talking to your family or friends or give up an important job offer or cut ties with your loved ones, then it is high time you end the relationship. Do not tolerate abuse in the garb of jealousy.
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There can be many reasons that partners feel jealous – low self-esteem issues, traumatic past, bad breakup, broken trust, and complicated family dynamics, to name a few. Your partner may feel like they aren’t good enough. Unrealistic expectations can be another reason for the jealousy.
It is possible for a jealous partner to change for the better. But raging or morbid jealousy is a difficult habit to change because there’s a high possibility that your partner might just refuse to admit that they are wrong. Communicating with each other honestly is important if you are dealing with a jealous partner.
Jealous behavior is a red flag if your partner tries to exercise control over your life, invades your privacy, or emotionally or physically abuses you. If you are forced to snap all ties with your loved ones, then it’s a red flag.
It is possible to get rid of jealousy in a relationship if it remains within the boundaries of a healthy emotion. Talking to your partner about their fears and expressing your feelings can help a jealous partner heal.
Jealousy and selfishness sometimes go hand-in-hand. If you allow your jealousy to rule your decisions and actions without thinking about how your partner may feel, then you are being selfish.