How To Divorce Amicably And Peacefully

Expert Speak | | Expert Author
Updated On: November 2, 2023
amicable divorce

Divorce is the outcome of the inability of spouses to live together for reasons that each party attributes to the other. Only a few couples resolve the entire issue amicably by mutual consent divorce. Per a Forbes Advisor survey, 27% of respondents indicated that the decision to end their marriage was mutual. No matter what the cause is, an amicable divorce should be your topmost preference, especially if there are children involved. Those who fight it out in court have no option but to trade charges. And the proceedings are often painfully long-drawn-out.

We fundamentally believe that divorce cases can be fought with more grace than making it a spectacular ground of mud-slinging. In this article, Osama Sohail suggests following some simple practices. Osama is a distinguished lawyer with a flourishing practice in Delhi. He has 11 years of experience in dealing with matrimonial matters ranging from divorce, child custody, domestic violence, marriage annulment, to dowry cases and more.

How To Have An Amicable Divorce? 6 Ways It’s Possible

We know that your heart is broken and that might not be the easiest time to think straight or show mercy on the person who did the breaking. But divorce by mutual consent is your best bet if you want to have a smooth transition into your new and single life.

If not, then trying to keep your divorce proceedings as peaceful as possible can also go a long way. There is respect in being amicable and understanding and you should try to keep it that way in order for no follow-up fights to ensue. We tell you how to exit a marriage gracefully, for yourself and for your children.

1. Pay for child support voluntarily for an amicable divorce

How to divorce amicably
Pay for child support voluntarily

Generally, in the initial days of a contested divorce, the fight is about claims of maintenance. If there is a child, paying some amount of child support is necessary. You are fighting against each other, we understand. But your child should not suffer because of it. They are still your family, and always will be.

Related Reading: Divorce And Children – 8 Deep-Seated Impacts of Separation Parents Must Know

2. Child access must be granted

It’s equally important for the custodial parent to grant access to the child to the non-custodial parent. Once again, the child is not a matter of dispute. Sadly, in many divorce proceedings, children get roped into the crossfire. Try to arrange for joint custody if both the parents are loving and considerate.

But if not, it’s understandable that the custodial spouse has certain apprehensions and inhibitions. Those apprehensions need to be addressed and removed. This is easier said than done but this is definitely the right way to deal with the situation.

3. The child must not be used as a pawn in an amicable divorce

How to divorce amicably? Well, do not use your child as some kind of weapon to hurt your ex. Eventually, irrespective of the result and outcome of proceedings, this will cause irreparable damage to the child. In your fight about who is more right than the other, do not bring up your children or create fake stories in order to gain an upper hand. It’s hard enough for a child to truly understand what’s going on. Don’t let your fights make a bad situation worse for them.

Related Reading: 9 Important Tips When Moving On After Divorce – From An Expert

4. Fight on legal points only

And let that job be done by your lawyer because they are indeed best at it, especially if you want an amicable divorce. Any unnecessary interruptions or shouting during proceedings in court and leveling allegations against each other is not good. It will never help your case.

On the contrary, it goes against you in terms of conduct and behavior. Judges and lawyers make a strong note of such behavior. Avoid shouting or bringing up relationship arguments randomly, at all costs. This only gives you some internal relief but will completely ruin your case.

You have already stated your stand in your petition. Let your lawyer take care of the rest.

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5. Honor the orders issued by court

How to leave a marriage peacefully? Know that it doesn’t just end in the courtroom. Once any order passed by any court attains finality, it must be complied with and it is your job not to fight it without a really good reason. Don’t make order sheets dirty against you by noncompliance. Yes, it may make you happy to frustrate your spouse on that day. But it does not help your legal fight.

Related Reading: What Is Sleep Divorce and How Can It Save A Marriage?

6. Be open to finding solutions

Always fight with might, with sound principles and disposition. If you’re wondering how to end a marriage peacefully, keep your dignity intact and be honest. Don’t waiver in quality litigation but always be ready and open to solutions.

Sometimes the end result can be achieved earlier if you are open to solutions and conflict resolution strategies. Having a constructive outlook is half the battle won. The reason divorces go on for so long and are so messy is because nobody is open to leaving their grudges aside and finding solutions that work for both parties.

How to have an amicable divorce is really not all that hard as long as you put on a brave face and your best foot forward. Get through the trickiest part in a graceful way and embark on that beautiful new life the way you deserve to!


1. How do you start an amicable separation?

By getting a lawyer and informing them that you want the divorce to be as amicable as possible. Try not to get into too many fights before the divorce proceedings and ensure that your lawyer takes the right course of action for the same.

2. Is it better to separate or divorce?

That depends entirely on your nature and the nature of your relationship. Some people find it easier to separate but others are looking for a more final approach and divisions of assets and so on. Consider the pros and cons of both and decide what is best for you, personally.

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