Perhaps this person you’re pining for is in a relationship, or you’re in one yourself. Maybe they’re halfway across the world, or you’ve found yourself head over heels for your best friend’s girlfriend. Whatever the reason is, figuring out how to stop crushing on someone quickly can save you from a lot of sleepless nights.
However, unless the situation does not warrant an attempt, we hope you’ve at least tried to voice your adoration for this person. Who knows, a few replies on this person’s social media stories might just be the start of something new.
But if you’ve tried everything from flirting to trying to straight-up admitting that you’re dreaming up vacations with this person and none of it has worked, figuring out how to stop crushing on someone is the next logical step. Let’s get right to it before you spend another weekend trying to think about what text to send to your crush.
How To Stop Crushing On Someone? 13 Ways
Figuring out how to stop crushing on a friend is a little different than trying to stop crushing on someone at work. You can’t really be too cold to a friend all of a sudden, but the “Please contact me during work hours only” tone you can use with your colleague might just do the trick.
Similarly, trying to stop crushing on someone who is taken, or trying to get over a crush who doesn’t like you back all need to be approached differently. Nonetheless, we’re pretty sure you’ll find something up your alley from the following list of things you can do, so without further ado, let’s take a look at what you can be doing:
1. Don’t be too hard on yourself, give it some time
If you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on a guy or a girl, the first thing to realize is that it won’t happen overnight. You might not think too much about this person for an entire week, and the minute they pop up in front of you, your heart will skip a beat, the world will move in slow motion, the sky will look bluer – the whole shebang.
Acknowledge what you are feeling, and give yourself some time to grieve the loss of what you had cooked up in your mind. According to studies, it takes about 4 months for a crush to die down. Just like you grew out of your bangs phase, this feeling shall pass too.
Related Reading: Dealing With A Crush At Work – How To Handle A Crush On A Coworker
2. Take off your rose-tinted glasses
That is, make sure you understand that you’re infatuated, not in love. When we’re crushing on someone, we tend to idolize them and put them on a pedestal in our minds. This person can do no wrong, and they’re going to solve every single problem you’ve ever had in your life.
Take a moment to listen to what your friends are saying and acknowledge that you may be looking at this person through infatuated eyes. Even if you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on someone you see every day, you need to stop building them up in your mind.
3. Your friends will give you a reality check
Speaking of listening to your friends, reaching out to people you trust and letting them know what you’re struggling with is definitely going to help. If you want to stop crushing on someone you can’t have and you’ve got a best friend who’s brutally honest, you need not look anywhere else for advice.
Talk to that friend or a family member, or anyone you trust. Sometimes, a friend telling you about a similar experience they had can greatly help you. Plus, the crass “knock it off and go get a life” your friend is going to throw at you will help too.
4. How to stop crushing on someone: Get to know them
When you know you’re crushing on someone, you cook up a perfect image of them in your mind that they’re probably not going to be able to live up to. All you’ve got to do now is talk to them and get to know them. It’ll only be a matter of time before their actual personality doesn’t live up to the one you made in your mind.
Especially if you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on someone you see every day, this tactic might do wonders for you. It’ll be incredibly difficult to avoid this colleague or classmate, so go ahead and talk to them.
If you’re sweating buckets at the prospect of talking to this person, try to snap out of it. You’re not going up to them with the hopes of getting in a relationship, in fact, your mission is quite the opposite. So if you make a fool of yourself, it’s only going to work out in your favor. There’s literally nothing to lose!
5. Don’t ignore the things you know will be a problem
Once you’ve successfully initiated a conversation with this person and you’re starting to get to know them, make sure you don’t ignore the things you know you don’t necessarily love about this person. Perhaps they were a little rude to the waitress, or they’re so far right politically that you can’t even have a conversation with them about it.
When you’re figuring out how to stop crushing on someone, you might want to amplify this person’s shortcomings in your mind. You can’t really be with someone who can’t agree with you on things that are important to you, can you?
6. Get those dating apps running
When the single life gets too boring or if you just need a dose of validation, dating apps can be just the escape you need. Unless you are trying to stop crushing on someone when you are already committed, a few swipes and a few messages on Tinder might be all you need.
A word of advice: if you’re someone who develops crushes very easily, perhaps this might not be the best course of action available to you. Dating apps bring with them a whole new level of infatuation, and we don’t want you to end up with three new crushes just to get rid of an old one.
So, if you’re figuring out how to stop crushing on a guy or a girl and know that you won’t let infatuation take hold of you, go ahead and make the best dating app profile you can. Pro tip: pictures with your pets definitely help.
Related Reading: 27 Sure Shot Signs Your Crush Likes You
7. Acknowledge that your happiness doesn’t rely on this crush working out
“All I want is to be with this person.” “The only way I’ll ever be happy is if I’m with him/her.” These are thoughts you should strictly avoid. You’ve got to realize that crushes, by nature, are of the fleeting kind.
Your happiness doesn’t depend on this person and you’re responsible for your own happiness. Especially if you’re trying to get over a crush who doesn’t like you, you’ve got to realize that this not working out isn’t the end of the world. Perhaps this was an experience that guides you toward the perfect person for you. You know what they say, everything happens for a reason.
8. Implementing no contact is how to stop crushing on someone
If you’re trying to stop crushing on someone you can’t have, go ahead and implement the no-contact rule. Yes, that includes unfollowing their social media as well. “But I just follow them because their pet is so adorable, I swear!” Nope, we’re not having it. Block them.
Even if you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on a friend, perhaps not talking to them for a while will do you some good. This isn’t the only friend you have, and even if you lose them, you might just end up doing a lot of good for your mental health. You’ve got to put yourself first.
9. If you’re in a relationship, be honest about it
When trying to stop crushing on someone when you are already committed, you might feel very guilty for developing the crush in the first place. However, it’s important to realize that you’re only human, and it isn’t too unheard of for someone in a stable relationship to start having a fleeting crush (“fleeting” being the operative word).
Though it won’t be the best conversation in the world, we’d advise you to tell your partner about it. Assure them that these feelings are extremely temporary and that by no means do you plan on acting on this crush. Assure your partner that the very fact that you told them is a testament to the fact that there’s nothing fishy going on, and you plan on shaking this off as soon as possible.
If this conversation incites a fight, try to be empathetic in your relationship with your partner. It’s not exactly something you want to hear from the person you love, so it’s bound to hurt a little bit. Nonetheless, it’s one step closer to helping you figure out how to stop crushing on someone.
10. Get busy hustling
If you’re the career-oriented kind and you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on someone at work, perhaps burying yourself in work and taking on more responsibility will help. You don’t even really have to get extremely busy with work, you can always pick up a hobby or get back into one.
Perhaps being knee-deep in excel sheets is what you need, or maybe blowing the dust off your old guitar will help you distract yourself. Whatever it is, trying to find something to do helps you stop crushing on someone who is taken.
11. Ask yourself why you’ve developed this crush
Are you just lonely or do you actually like this person? Perhaps you just miss being in a relationship, or the thrill of liking someone you can’t have has added a layer of excitement.
When you’re trying to figure out how to stop crushing on someone, a bit of introspection is in order. If you can get to the bottom of what has brought upon this crush in the first place, you’ll better be able to shut it down too. So put your detective hat on, and start solving the mystery that is your mind.
12. Try to not let your feelings overpower you
Every now and then, an insatiable urge to be with this person might take over you. It might seem like they’re all you think about, and you might even find yourself altering your personality to make yourself more appealing to this person. Trying to stop obsessing over someone can become the need of the hour.
When you’re consumed by thoughts of being with this person, try to find something to do, someone to talk to or a healthy distraction. We know it’s easier said than done, especially if you’re figuring out how to stop crushing on someone you see every day, but progress begins when you give it your best shot.
Related Reading: 12 Sure Signs Your Husband Has A Crush On Another Woman
13. Get professional help
If you’re unable to control your thoughts and they’ve started negatively impacting your physical or mental health, it’s vital to get help immediately. A professional therapist will be able to provide an unbiased diagnosis of your situation and can lay the groundwork for improvement.
There’s no shame in admitting that a crush has got you feeling blue but when it negatively impacts your day-to-day activities, figuring out how to stop crushing on someone becomes a necessity that you might need some immediate help for. If it’s help you’re looking for, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists is only a click away.
Now that you know how to stop crushing on someone, we hope you won’t spend any more long nights listening to Taylor Swift while also stalking this person’s social media. Go and listen to some uplifting Rihanna and block their social media as quickly as you can. Before you know it, you’ll be crush-free. Until the next one rolls around, that is. See you then!
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According to studies, it takes about four months for a crush to die down. However, if you follow the steps to stop crushing on someone and lead a healthy life, we’re pretty sure you can drastically reduce that time frame.
Perhaps you’re prone to idolizing someone, or you’re feeling lonely and miss being in a relationship. Crushes are tied closely to a fantastical image of someone you’ve cooked up in your mind, and figuring out why you crush on people so easily involves a fair amount of introspection.