I have known Mr M since childhood. He used to admire me and wanted to marry me. But the proposal didn’t work out due to a misunderstanding, and we went our separate ways. Now we have become late-life lovers. But he won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go either.
He won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go
Table of Contents
My husband and I are separated and have kids (not legally separated). Mr M is married too. He and I reconnected a few days back, and we have been talking to each other. The misunderstanding that was there earlier has also cleared up. Now we are madly in love with each other and can’t do without each other at all. We are late-life lovers, but we feel like teenagers. He wants to be with me but says he can’t leave his wife (his wife is aware of our relationship). He won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go also.
His dad had an extramarital affair. He remembers what his mother went through, and he says the kids suffer the most in such cases. He doesn’t want to let go of me either. However, the more I insult him or go away from him, he keeps coming back. He works overseas and can meet me once in one or two years but will chat and call every day. I don’t know what to understand of this on-off relationship. He won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go either. I am not at peace. Please help me. Will we survive as late-life lovers?
Counsellor Deepak says:
This does seem like a sticky situation for you. In such cases, knowing and remembering your purpose helps the most. Ask yourself the following few questions: How do I want my personal and romantic life to look like three years from now? Do I want a family? Will the instability and infrequency of my relationship with Mr M be able to get me closer to my personal goals? Can I use emotions alone for Mr M as a license enough to get into another sticky situation, involving far too many people this time around?
Emotions are not everything
Sometimes we believe that emotions alone will guide us and tell us what is right for ourselves. The human condition is indeed such that very few logical things make sense to us if they ignore the emotional element in question. I also want to point our part of being an adult is to make hard choices.
Choices that may not always make you ‘feel’ good at the moment, but decisions that make sense for the long-term. Since you are late-life lovers, the alternative is even harder.
Look for a new start
I don’t know the details of the situation more than you have told us, but from what I know, I would look for a fresh beginning and find the courage in my heart to accept life the way it is and get on with the business of living to the best of my abilities. I would stay single until I meet someone free and willing to be with me. Intention and skill are both essential for me too.
I hope this helps.
All the best
Deepak Kashyap
Ask Our Expert
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
Featured
Why does my girlfriend hate me ?
Why am I so attached to someone who hurt me ?
Am I in love with my best friend? What should I do?
Should I forgive my husband for cheating?
I cheated on my boyfriend. How do I fix it?
My husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman
My husband cheated on me with a man
My boyfriend cheated on me but I still want to be with him. What should I do?
My husband is always angry and rude to me
Why do i always think my girlfriend is cheating
I wanted the divorce. Why am I so sad?
My husband still talks to the woman he cheated on me with
My husband lied to me. How do I trust him again?
My husband cheated on me what should I do?
I Cheated but I Want To Save My Relationship
Why do I resent my husband for not working. What should I do?
My husband is cheating on me with my best friend
My wife hates my female best friend. What should I do?
He cheated on his girlfriend with me. Now what?
Why do I still care about someone who hurt me?