They say, “Behind every angry wife stands a man, who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.” And boy, can that be right.
Wives get angry with you for various reasons and more than half the time the husbands don’t even know why. Well, we can’t blame the poor husbands every time as wives are pretty moody at times without a real reason. Which makes them turn pretty short-tempered and crazy, leaving the men absolutely dumbfounded. And an angry wife can mean the whole house goes upside down!
Wives will get angry with their spouses, it is a given. But how do you calm your angry wife? And more importantly, how to make your wife happy when she is angry? This is exactly what we will talk about in the following article.
Often men get flabbergasted when their wives get angry, unable to fathom what they did to trigger the episode. Keep this in mind that no wife stays angry or cross with you forever. With the right tactics to approach her and communicate with her, you can indeed calm her down and all will be well again.
Why Is Your Wife Always Angry And Negative?
If your wife is always angry and negative toward you, you first need to understand the different triggers that make her this way. Perhaps she has deep-seated anger issues that often manifest and cause turbulence in your married life. This can also lead to her becoming an angry, depressed wife.
It is important to revive your wife’s happiness and bring back the lost mirth in your house instead of calling her a crazy wife and other names and then continuing fighting with her about it. Even if she has offended you and you are upset with her, it is time that you become the bigger person and bring your relationship back on track.
Paul Friedman, the founder of Marriage Foundation says in one of his YouTube talks, “One good thing is anger is not sustaining. There are two different degrees of anger. One is a reactive outburst and the other level is emotional anger which is carried inside constantly. So the first thing a husband should learn to do is disengage the moment she gets angry or he can just duck. You can get a glass of water or ask her out for a walk and then talk about the issues.”
1. Unmet expectations can lead to an angry wife
Anger and unhappiness arises in a relationship due to unmet expectations. Your wife may be having certain expectations from you which you haven’t been able to fulfill. This is causing her distress and making her act like an angry, depressed wife as she is unable to express herself in a more constructive manner.
Perhaps she hopes that you spend more quality time with her when you get off of work or that you help her out with the chores at home. She does not want to tell you that she is upset with you for these reasons because she expects you to realize it on your own. But this pent up frustration will come out in other ways such as making her perpetually seem like an angry wife.
2. Previous issues are still circling her mind
Ever wondered why your wife brings up previous fights in your present ones? Most men hate it when that happens but are subjected to it more often than not. But it’s time to now think about why women bring up old problems so often. It is because those issues haven’t been totally resolved. And all this time all you can think is that your wife completely hates you.
Many times these unresolved issues crop up in your wife’s mind and makes her even more frustrated. This leads to anger and resentment in your wife. If your wife is always angry and negative with you, it means that there’s something on her mind that is troubling her and will continue to frustrate her until it’s resolved. So if she brings up that time you did not introduce her to your boss at an office party in a fight that is about which lid goes on which container in the kitchen, you might have to address multiple issues at once.
Related Reading: 7 Strategies To Stop Fighting In A Relationship
3. An air of negativity is trapped in your relationship
Negativity builds up in a marriage for a lot of reasons. Your wife could be exhausted managing her work life balance, especially if she feels like you don’t help her with the chores or support her. Following deadlines, buying groceries doing kids homework are all responsibilities that might be making things very difficult for her. With that much to do, an angry wife is quite frankly, a natural consequence.
Because of these stressors, she flares up at the slightest pretext and you are left saying, “I don’t know how to make my angry wife happy!”
Have you checked if any financial issues are plaguing her? Is she unable to handle the pressure of multi-tasking so many things? Buying her an afternoon massage is not going to solve the problem here. There is a deeper issue of organizing time and effort in your relationship. Once you talk to her and show her that she’s not alone, this air of negativity can be done away with.
10 Ways To Make An Angry Wife Happy
How to make your wife happy when she is angry? If your wife is super mad at you, everything in the marriage seems to be falling apart. You start to feel that your house doesn’t have the happiness and the light that it used to have before.
What to do when wife is upset? Why is my wife mad at me? How do I deal with an angry wife? These are some questions that will continually torment you until you find a way to make things okay with your angry wife.
You want to calm her down and make her happy again but don’t know how to do so. In that case, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t worry, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed. And with a little love and effort, your angry wife can quickly become a happy wife. Here are 10 ways on how to calm down an angry wife.
1. Apologize for your mistake
Wives stay mad at their husbands for longer periods because their husbands have not apologized for their mistakes. It is important that when there is a fight, one person keeps his/her ego aside and tries to fix things. For all you know, she’s still holding a grudge about the time you forgot to water the plants but you lied to her that you did.
If you are the one who has committed the mistake, you should apologize sincerely to your wife at the first chance you get. Not only is it an essential virtue, but a habit like this will also keep some of your marital problems at bay.
2. Calm down an angry wife instead of adding fuel to the fire
It is important to calm down an angry wife when she is furious at you. Instead of letting her words get to you, take the higher road instead. Do not resort to saying hurtful things back to her or attempt blame-shifting. Instead, try talking to her or holding her tightly but lovingly when she lashes out at you.
At this time make it a point not to retaliate or say something that aggravates her even more. This is the time to show her that you still care for her even if she is shouting at you. I know, it sounds like we are asking you to be a saint but sometimes, you have to. She will eventually give into your efforts and calm down.
If your wife is angry with you, be the bigger person and keep your ego aside. Stay calm and try to calm her down. Once she is calm, talk to her and work on resolving the issue.
3. Listen to her side of the story
When your wife is angry at you, she can quickly turn into a nagging wife. A nagging wife may keep complaining a lot making you grow weary of hearing the same thing over and over again. But think about it more deeply as this may not be without reason.
How to deal with an angry wife? Pay sincere attention to her and listen to what complaints or issues she has with you. Perhaps you have been coming home late everyday, or there is another misunderstanding that is constantly brimming in her mind. Whatever it may be, allow her to let it all out.
Make her pour her heart out and try to understand her perspective. Listening to her side of the story will also help you realize your own mistake.
4. Don’t let your ego get in the way
It’s only human to get your ego hurt when an angry wife is expressing her grievances to you. So we don’t entirely blame you if you start to get defensive during a fight. But many a times when married couples fight, the issue becomes even worse because both partners aren’t willing to let go of their ego.
Both the partners in their mind feel that they are right and in doing so, they hamper their relationship. And gradually, fights become bigger than the relationship. Eventually, both spouses forget what is truly important and continue to ruminate on the hurt caused by the issue at hand.
You should not let your ego come in the way when you are trying to make your angry wife happy. If you feel like you need a time out to process things, then take it. But don’t charge into the room with an ‘Alpha male’ attitude because that will only worsen things. Put your ego aside and only then, approach her.
5. How to make your wife happy when she is angry? Surprise her
An angry wife won’t be angry for long when she starts seeing that you are making genuine efforts to win back her love. You know all the things that will make her heart melt and now is the chance to use those things to win your wife back.
Give her surprises and thoughtful gifts that will melt her heart instantly. Sending her flowers, cooking a special meal for her or sending her chocolates spelling out ‘I’m sorry’ are some great ways to put a smile on her face again. Her heart will melt in no time and her anger will disappear.
Related Reading: 21 Last-Minute Gift Ideas For Your Wife’s Birthday | Dec.2020
6. Flirt with your angry wife to lighten the situation
When wondering how to deal with an angry wife, did you think about flirting with your spouse? Strangely, flirting actually helps in calming down your angry wife. Flirting with a touch of humor and a bit of an apology does wonders in making your angry wife calm down. Imagine a scenario where your wife says that she doesn’t want to talk to you.
So you as a husband should not start ignoring her when she is furious with you. instead, in response you can say, “But I can’t stay without my wife not talking to me. I may die. Oh no! I’m dying already, please come back to your crappy good for nothing husband.”
The cheesier it sounds, the more effective it is. Your wife will begin to smile and you’ll know that it’s working.
7. Show compassion and love to her
If your wife’s anger and frustration is coming out of nowhere, it is possible that it really is not your fault. There must be something else on her mind that is bugging her but she hasn’t yet shared with you. Do not get frustrated with her behavior or pull away in frustration because you may be all that she has. And at this point, she needs you more than anything else.
If she avoids intimacy or shows signs of drifting away, do not lash at her for being a bad wife. At this point, show compassion to her and let her know that you are there for her no matter what. However obnoxious she may be, your angry, depressed wife needs you now more than ever.
When your wife feels ready to talk, she will come forward and share her feelings with you. So give her space but also shower her with some affection so that she knows she’s not alone.
8. Show her that you’re improving yourself
If you’ve made a big mistake in the past, don’t just apologize to your wife for the sake of it. If your wife sees you committing the same mistake again, it could hurt her even more and she could start pulling away from you. This is not only dangerous as it the reason for your wife’s bad moods but it is also one of the signs of a marriage being on the rocks. At this point, you need to pull up your socks.
Saying sorry is not enough unless you are making efforts to work on the problem. After promising her that you won’t commit the same mistake again, show her that you are working on improving yourself for her sake and for the sake of your marriage. When she sees your genuine efforts in saving the marriage, she will feel happier and will trust you again.
9. How to make your wife happy when she is angry? Pull her into a long hug
This can work wonders. Trust us. When your wife is angry and is in a fit of rage so go ahead and give her a tight bear hug and see the effect for yourself.
She might resist it initially but it will eventually calm her down as she succumbs to your love. She might even start crying because of all the intense emotions she will be feeling all at once. But one thing is for sure she wouldn’t be able to resist that warm hug from you. She will certainly hug you back as tightly as she can. Then you can both have a chat about. the problem and resolve your issues.
10. How to deal with an angry wife? Order food online
Modern problems require modern solutions and here is a sure-shot solution to ‘How to deal with an angry wife?’
It is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But if you have to make your angry wife happy then food can do the trick for her too.
Once you have managed to calm her down, order some food online for her. Thai, Chinese, Sushi or a plain cheeseburger – make sure you get her comfort food that she will absolutely relish in that moment. Once the food has arrived, make her a plate and ask her what’s been throwing her off edge lately.
Remember, anger mostly crops up from hurt and mismatched expectations in relationships. Your wife may be angry at you for valid reasons and this is an indication that you hurt her in some way. You being the husband, not only need to work on those concerns but also need to reassure her that you still love and respect her.
If the reasons for her being an angry wife have nothing to do with you, even then, try to placate her as warmly as you can. If after many attempts, you aren’t able to pin point the reason for her negative behavior, seek a third opinion or consider going to a counselor. Having a fresh perspective might help you resolve your wife’s anger issues. Luckily, Bonobology has a skilled panel of therapists who will be happy to help you with the same.