My outgoing girlfriend hates restrictions and I feel insecure. How should I handle this situation?

She's very flirtatious and social, but he hates that and thinks she should be less open with other men
Man in Solitude


I am a 24-year-old guy and my girlfriend, who is going to turn 28 next month, works in the same office. We have been in a relationship for more than a year and plan to get married as soon as her parents agree. The problem with us is that we fight almost all the time over trifles and both our egos are so huge that neither of us wants to back down in a fight.

Now, she is a very outgoing person and I am not very social. The way she talks with other guys is kind of flirtatious. She says that that’s how she talks with everybody and she has no wrong intentions and I trust her too! But I have seen cases when it does not take more than a few exchanges to develop a crush on someone. This is my biggest insecurity and I have told her about this several times. On top of this, even though many guys bluntly hit on her and I advise her not to go out with such people to avoid awkward incidents, she almost never listens to me. She says that it’s her wish and I don’t get a say in that and that I shouldn’t try to control her.

Often when we get time to spend together and somebody else asks her out, she does stay with me but she keeps taunting me that she stayed only because I wanted. I don’t know what to make of this. Why does she want so much attention from others when I leave no stone unturned to find time for her out of my routine? She doesn’t place restrictions on me for anything and she expects me to be the same. But I don’t like it when she goes out for late night parties with people I don’t even know!

I can’t have a marriage in which I don’t even get time because my wife is too busy either on her phone texting with random guys (even though she says she is just having a normal conversation but that encroaches on my time with her) or going out for parties. Yes, I know how stupid I sound, but I seriously can’t understand her thought process or how to handle this situation. I would be immensely grateful if you help me out. Thanks in advance 🙂

relationship counselling

Related reading: Confessions of a jealous girlfriend

Deepak Kashyap says:

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