The fact that you’re asking this question in the first place is an indicator that you should block your ex. Jokes apart, this is a question I get asked very often by my friends and siblings. And I’m about to impart the same wisdom that has helped many before you.
Your conundrum of “should I block my ex?” can have a fairly straightforward answer. To arrive at that answer, you need to self-assess your past relationship with complete honesty. In fact, pinkie promise me right away that you won’t overlook the red flags staring you in the face.
Before I move to give you all the good reasons there are to cut off an ex, I want to recount a pearl of wisdom passed down to from the wisest man I know – my dad. Here’s what he says: “Use what you need to take care of yourself; sunblock, social media block, whatever.”
8 Reasons To Block Your Ex Right Away
There are times when you really just have to let people go. The small problem with today’s world is that goodbyes aren’t really final. This is because people exist in the actual world as much as the virtual one.
The only way to cut someone off completely when they’re present on 7 different apps with you is by blocking them. And ‘blocking’ is a much-debated topic. Some think of it as a boon, and others as a bane. If you’re wondering whether you should block your ex, you probably have many questions:
Should I block my ex on WhatsApp? What are the signs you should block an ex on your social media? Should I block my ex who cheated on me? Why should I block my ex-girlfriend on social media?
Let’s address them one by one while we journey through the 8 reasons to block your ex right away. An individual’s social media presence can impact our lives more than we know. It is time you decided whether your ex makes the cut to continue to exert that kind of influence on your headspace. All set? Here we go:
Related Reading: The Right Way To Use Power Of Silence After A Breakup
1. On-again off-again toxic-again
Ah, the sweet old cycle of unhealthy behavior patterns. Most couples tend to reconcile with their partners after a breakup because they miss them a ton. However, the rosy period does not last long, and soon enough they’re back to square one. Thus begins the dreaded on-again-off-again relationship cycle.
A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that as many as 60% of young couples could have experienced an ‘it’s complicated’ phase in their relationships. Staggering, right?
So, what’s the easiest way to connect to someone at any hour of the day? Social media. What’s the number one mistake you’ll make in a moment of vulnerability? Texting your ex. Now we don’t want you falling back in the loop, so you must block your ex on all the apps. Yes, all of them. Look at it like a purge/detox/cleanse.
No more reconciliations (that are ultimately breakups), and no more emotional stress. End things once and for all, so you can quit asking “Should I block my ex on WhatsApp?”
2. Closing the deal
What we all want after the end of a relationship is closure. Unfortunately, not all of us are that blessed. My sister, Tisha, struggled with gaining closure when her 5-year relationship ended on a bad note. She did not know how to accept what had happened (and why). Finally, she realized that she could move on without closure.
Tisha blocked him on all her apps and deleted his contact, along with their photos. She said that she felt like a burden had been lifted off of her heart. He was no longer a part of her life, and that was that. Her answer to ‘should I block my ex to get over him?’ has been a yes since then.
Acceptance of the relationship’s end is the first stage to getting closure. As long as you feed yourself false hope, healing cannot begin. Sit with your feelings and process them. Acknowledge the relationship, even grieve for it. But finally, go ahead and block the pathways of communication to really know it’s over. And that it’s okay.
It’s exactly what Shannon Alder says, “Nothing changes until people decide to do the things they must, in order to bring about peace.”
3. Mental wellbeing > Pretenses
The biggest, most nonsensical mistake exes make is playing mind games on social media. “If I post this, my ex-girlfriend will get jealous.” “If I share this on the WhatsApp group, then he’ll know that I’m doing well.” STOP IT. Just stop.
Play-acting who’s doing better or trying to get attention is the ultimate petty move. It is one of the top signs you should block your ex. These are things you should not do after a breakup at all costs. Choose your mental well-being over false appearances. Why do you want to self-serve anxiety and stress to your already exhausted post-breakup mind?
Childish games like these lead nowhere. Rise above this pettiness and block your ex asap. If it makes you feel any better, they’ll keep wondering why you blocked them, and what you’re up to nowadays.
Regaining your equilibrium is very important after a breakup, and social media wars don’t allow you to do so. Focus on the things which help you heal after a breakup. Being held back on inner peace, and that too by social media, is not something you ought to do.
4. Things will get (gas)lit
Everyone who’s been manipulated or gaslit in a relationship, raise your hands. You know exactly how toxic such exes are. They invalidate your feelings and strip away your self-esteem. You’ve tolerated them in the relationship, so why put yourself through the same trauma after a breakup?
If you keep a channel of communication open, they will start making you feel guilty about your emotions. Exes like these manipulate you under the guise of romance and play the victim themselves. They’ll have you questioning yourself, the breakup, and in no time, you’ll go running in their arms.
My friend, Max, once asked, “Should I block my ex who dumped me? I wanted the relationship to go on…I want us to get back together. What if he comes back?” Despite everyone’s insistence to the contrary, Max didn’t block him. A month later, he broke down saying that his ex had blamed him for everything, saying he deserved to get dumped.
Such exes like Max’s try to make you feel dependent on them with texts like – You know you need me. Hear me loud and clear; you DON’T need them. Block them right away and save yourself a truckload of trouble.
5. Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater
There are a few trademark things cheaters say when they are confronted with their affair. The same-old excuses, promises of betterment, melodramatic apologies, and so on. But that does not erase the pain they have put you through. Ross Geller may say he was on a break, but we know how wrong he was, don’t we?
Block an ex that has been disloyal to you, and dismiss all feelings of guilt. A breakup is a painful process to go through; you don’t need the added stress of dealing with a cheater. A gentle reminder that cheating is a sign of not just disregard (for your feelings), but also disrespect (for your relationship).
I hope you know why we call cheaters compulsive eaters. It’s because they eat away our inner peace and stability. They’re like zombies that feed on emotions. So when you ask – Should I block my ex who cheated on me? I chant: Block em’. Block em’. Block em’.
Related Reading: Why Do Some People Take Breakups Harder Than Others?
6. Close all tabs to restart
How can you move forward if you’re anchored to the past? A new beginning is not possible unless you end things with history. If you want to become a better version of yourself and heal from the previous relationship, you should sever all ties with your ex.
Even I’ve been in a place where I’ve wondered should I block my ex to get over him? I mean, you don’t want to be the person who has back pain from carrying around her emotional baggage. Because trust me, this will impact every aspect of your life.
Blocking your ex will lend a sense of finality to your breakup, so you can move on and eventually even date other people.
Sometimes we say goodbye to our partners but struggle with accepting this farewell. Take this as a sign you should block your ex. Blocking an ex is not always a gesture of anger or sorrow; it is sometimes a reminder to ourselves that the relationship is over. Reboot your life
7. Amour propre
Everything sounds better in French; you cannot change my mind. Amour propre means a sense of self-worth – something you need to protect with your last breath after a breakup.
The iffy thing about breakups is that they make sobbing messes of the best of us. We beg, we plead, and we cajole with our exes to take us back, listen to us, work things out, or meet one last time. This is (obviously) very unhealthy for our self-worth. To avoid destroying each shred of your dignity, block your ex on all platforms.
No drunk calls or texting, no weepy midnight messages, no booty calls or suggestions of make-up sex. It may take a while to get a grip after a breakup, but it takes 14 seconds to block someone.
“Should I block my ex who dumped me?” Yes, you should, because you will regain a sense of control in your life. Please don’t forget that you’re an individual worthy of respect and love!
Related Reading: 12 Things Not To Do After A Breakup
8. Recalibrate with a break
Even if you harbor hopes of reconciliation after a breakup, a little bit of away time is always great in a relationship. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Partners become habituated to each other, and this can lead to monotony. Even if you’ve broken up (or are on a break), take some time off from each other.
Block them to withhold communication for a while. You’ll realize that you both value each other more than you may have thought. Use this time to think over your relationship and what you can do to make it better.
Maybe you get back together stronger, maybe you part ways – but either decision should be well thought out by you. Sit with yourself and ponder: do I unblock this relationship? Can I fix my toxic relationship?
That ought to have cleared things up for you. Just a final word of advice: when you block an ex, keep it that way. Don’t block-unblock them like a teenager, because it is really immature. Stick to your decision and hold your ground!
Blocking an ex is a choice that can have multiple reasons behind it. The ones given above are the top 8. If you think we’ve missed something, or you’ve got a story you want to tell, write to us at Bonobology – we’ll be thrilled to hear from you!
Hmmm, that depends on the ‘why’ of the situation. Why are you blocking them? If you have valid grounds to cut them off, then no, it is not immature. Prioritizing your own mental health is never petty or childish. But if you don’t really have a good reason, and are doing it for attention – please refrain from making this choice.
There is no sure-shot guarantee that doing certain things will make you move on. But in my experience, limiting contact with an ex is a pretty great way to start the healing. Getting over someone is a long process, and keeping an ex around is definitely not helpful. So blocking is effective in the sense that you are restricted from making rash decisions.
Again, this question is circumstantial. Letting go of someone we love is not an easy business. But if your beloved ex is a toxic individual who is harming your wellbeing, then by all means block him. Abusive, cheating, or lying partners may have your love, but they don’t deserve your mental peace. East or west – self-care is the best.
Both these options are the same at their core. They want to limit contact with an individual. If you think you are prone to hasty decisions like calling or texting an ex, then delete their number. This will give you a window of time to think before you act. Otherwise, blocking gets the job done too.