“Is my best friend in love with me?” An interesting study points out that two-third of the couples in the sample had started out as friends. The percentage leaped to 85% among 20-somethings and LGBTQ+ participants.
Best friends love each other. And many of them fall in love. Best friends falling in love is as cute as it is comfortable. The possibility of friends turning into lovers is high because you spend so much of your time together, know each other very well and love to be together. How can romance be far behind then?
But can you just ask your friend whether he loves you like that? Naah! You do not want to risk your friendship by flatly asking something as serious as this! But you can notice the subtle signs that your best friend likes you romantically, carefully. There could be a lot of mixed signals and you could get it all wrong because you have this feeling that your best friend is in love with you.
Your best friend is there in your bad times, supports you and is your advisor at times too. He is also your fun-buddy. That’s why it becomes difficult to know whether he is doing everything for you as a friend or he has developed feelings for you.
12 Signs That Say Your Best Friend Is In Love With You
Some very lucky people find their soulmates in their best friends. And if you are wondering if you belong to that chunk of people, you will need to observe your best friend closely. Just saying, “I think my best friend is in love with me”, is not enough you have to find out if they really have feelings
Hollywood has again and again explored this theme of best friends falling for each other. Starting from the famous film Best Friends (1982) starring Burt Reynolds and Goldie Hawn to more recent films like Single All The Way (2021) starring Michael Urie and Philemon Chambers, the idea of romance between best friends is intriguing.
There are always the signs a friend likes you romantically. Here are some signs that you might be one of them. If you’re wondering “Is my best friend in love with me?” , find out for yourself.
1. You want to spend alone time together
As best friends, you both want to spend most of your waking hours together. You don’t mind who else is there as long as your best friend is there. But recently things have changed and your best friend makes it a point that you two are alone when you spend your time together.
Your best friend is cancelling group plans or getting you out of social commitments to spend hours chatting with you or maybe even to hear you talk. But it has to be just you. If you are wondering, “I think my best friend is in love with me” you are not wrong.
2. Showers you special compliments
Are you wondering, “Is my best friend in love with me or is it all in my mind?” Your best friend is always on your side but when they start complimenting you particularly on your good looks then something has shifted in the friendship. They now can’t take their eyes off you when you are dressed nicely. You can sense something more than friendship in the way they look at you.
But even when you wake up messy and droopy, they can’t look away from you either. Your best friend appreciating you might be a regular thing but you should not ignore the way they look at you now. If that changes then everything else between you changes. You are moving from friends to lovers.
3. Awkward about physical touch
Best friends usually have complete access to your personal space. You invade each other’s personal space everyday without thinking twice. And you would obviously notice if things change there.
If your best friend refrains from physical touch and feels uncomfortable being near you then maybe their feelings for you have changed. Now that they think of you sexually, they can’t pretend otherwise.
4. You find your best friend staring at times
Do you find your friend staring at you? Whether you are in a crowd or alone, do you find your best friend looking at you with intensity but quickly divert their eyes as soon as you find them watching? You know what it means, right?
So, the answer to “Is my best friend in love with me?” is that your best friend is already in love with you even if they are in denial. Staring at you at every possible moment indicates your friend likes you romantically.
How to know if your best friend loves you more than a friend? Your best friend cannot take their eyes off you because they are seeing you for the first time as a person of desire. While looking at you they drift off into daydreaming about the fact how their life would be if you two clicked.
Only when you look back at them they come back to the reality where you two are still just friends and nothing more. This is one of the most common signs of a guy who wants more than your friendship.
5. Your best friend knows and remembers everything
Your best friend remembers everything about you and that is what is expected but now they want you to recognize this. How to know if your best friend loves you more than a friend? If your best friend starts asking for credit or acknowledgement for knowing you better than anybody else in the world, then they are definitely in love with you.
And they are trying to let you know so that you may notice that. His attention to detail when it comes to you is enough for you to know that your best friend loves you more than a friend.
6. Romance and sex becomes conversational
You two have always shared internal jokes. There are things that only you two can share. But if your best friend has started using romantic or sexual innuendoes that only you will understand then they must be in love with you.
They are still trying to hide their feelings but they come out as innuendoes and are not always intentional. The point here is not to embarrass you but it is actually a tactic to determine if you feel the same way or not. And it is a very loud sign that your best friend is falling for you.
Related Reading: Sleeping With Your Best Friend? Here Are 10 Pros And Cons
7. You don’t mind sharing food
Are you that kind of friend who shares food all the time? Has your best friend started saving the things that you love? Does your best friend now look for excuses to touch you; either to wipe your cheeks or to put food in your mouth? Then, the answer to “Is my best friend in love with me?” is pretty obvious.
Do you feel that something happens to your best friend when your hands touch accidentally inside a popcorn tub? As you know your best friend the best you will notice more things knowing they are in love with you.
8. The friend feels ‘jealous’ at times
Has your best friend started being jealous if you date somebody, fantasise about somebody or even check somebody out? Now you may notice that your best friend cannot tolerate anybody you are romantically or sexually attracted to. When your best friend is falling in love with you, it’s inevitable they would get jealous.
How to know if your best friend likes you? Your best friend always compares themselves with anyone you are remotely interested in. Actually, right now they are starting to conceptualize themselves in the position of your love interest. That is why they are irritated even at the thought of anyone else.
Related Reading: How To Date A Friend?
9. The parents love your friend
Sometimes you feel that your parents may actually love your best friend more than they love you. And if your best friend is in love with you then they will now take advantage of that.
Your best friend now tries to prove to you that they are the best option you have depending on things your own parents say about your best friend. If your best friend is in love with you then your parents’ approval becomes important for them.
10. Make promises of marriage
Have you made a contract with your best friend that if both of you remain single at 30 you will marry each other? Maybe that statement was made in jest and was nothing but friendly chatter.
But now that your best friend is in love with you, they remind you of that promise and you start feeling that they have taken that promise seriously. Now that they are primed to see a future together, your best friend wants you to understand where you both stand.
Related Reading: 7 Good And Awful Reasons To Get Married
11. Doing the couple things
Does your best friend make it a point to do things together like a couple? Then they get irritated and frustrated when you don’t understand their point of view. Sometimes you get bewildered by the fact that your best friend wants you two to have the appearance of a couple even when you are definitely not so.
But it is an illusion that your best friend wants to maintain because that is the next best thing to the relationship they really want to have but don’t know if they can really ask for it.
12. Keeping each other’s promises
As I always say, friendship is having each other’s Kryptonite (a la Superman) and never using it against them. Your best friend is the keeper of your biggest secrets. You might forget about things that your best friend keeps a track of. You are at your most vulnerable when you are with your best friend. But you trust them not to take advantage of that. Even when your best friend starts getting attracted to you in a way that is more than being friends, they do not make any advances.
That is not only because they don’t want to lose you as a friend but also because they don’t want you to lose your place of reliability and comfort with them. They still would maintain the façade of friendship even when it is evident to everybody else that your best friend is in love with you. Race, religion, caste or gender are no boundaries for love, don’t let friendship get in the way of a good story either.
“My Best Friend Is In Love With Me But I Don’t Feel The Same Way”
My friend Paul has told me, “Is my friend is love with me? Yes. My problem is that my best friend is in love with me but I don’t feel the same way. What should I do? Is it common?” Yes, Paul, it is very common. In fact, studies point out that eight in 10 people have experienced at least one instance of unrequited love for a friend, by the age of 20.
Count me in that club, please. My best friend is in love with me but I don’t feel the same way. This has led to a complicated situation, where I keep getting blamed for giving him mixed signals. To avoid such a hurtful scenario, here is what you can do when you notice the signs your best friend is in love with you but don’t feel the same way:
- Don’t flirt with them or mislead them by giving mixed signals/ false hopes
- Be honest, clear and kind with them by telling them you don’t feel the same way. This will put an end to their obsession about “Is my friend in love with me?”
- If you have been leading them on unintentionally, just apologize for the misunderstanding. Don’t leave them thinking “Is my best friend in love with me?”
- Once you are clear about the signs your best friend is in love with you, give them time and space to process that their love is one-sided
- Draw a boundary and avoid blurring the lines between friendship and love; it will confuse and torture them further
Finally, if you are still looking for tips on how to know if your best friend likes you, you can work with a therapist and understand more on what you can do about it. A licensed professional can make this whole situation feel a little less overwhelming. Our counselors from Bonobology’s panel are just a click away.
You will know your best friend is in love with you when they want to spend alone time with you even in a group. They would talk about romance, will be awkward with physical touch. If you feel the same for them then romance with a best friend is a great idea. Otherwise it will become one-sided love.
If they reciprocate your feelings, want to spend as much time with you and get jealous of your other friends then you will know your best friend is in love with you.
Best friends can make great lovers. Best friends share the emotional intimacy first that then becomes physical intimacy. So, if the answer to “Is my best friend in love with me?” is pretty evident and you also feel the same, you can try giving it a shot.
You will know they have feelings for you when they spend most of their waking hours with you, always compliment you and want to do the couple things with you, like going out for dinner and the movies.