Everybody loves returns on their investments. Be it a business, a job, or a relationship – we want to be rewarded for our time and effort. But there comes a moment in our lives when we come to a dreadful realization; that the path we’re on has no visible destination. A dead-end relationship is an awfully tricky thing to identify. People are torn between wanting to give it a chance or taking the exit route.
An informed decision cannot be made without a proper understanding of the dead relationship signs. We’re here to help you assess your connection from 9 unique lenses. If you resonate with these indicators, something is kinda sorta almost definitely wrong. But hey, don’t hop on the anxiety train just yet. Take a look at our comprehensive mini-guide first. There’s so much you may not know about staying in a dead-end relationship…
How Do You Know If You Are In A Dead-End Relationship? – 9 Signs
We can (hypothetically) bet you a hundred million dollars that an infamous question is plaguing your mind: “Where is this going?” Hollywood and sitcoms have given it much ill repute but if you ask us, we think it’s a perfectly reasonable query. A relationship is hard work and if it is going nowhere, you’re better off channeling that energy elsewhere. After all, you don’t want to regret the fact that you wasted years in a dead-end relationship.
But here’s a teensy-weensy problem. The dead relationship signs can very much resemble a temporary rough patch in an otherwise strong bond. So, how can you discern if your connection is worth working for? Allow us to step in. Like complete know-it-alls, we have curated this ultra-informative list. Our goal is to help you answer one question – “Should I be ending a dead-end relationship?” Let’s get straight to it!
1. (Dis)honestly speaking…
No flag has been redder in the history of red flags. If you can’t be honest with your partner, why are you with them in the first place? There are many layers to being truthful. First and foremost, comes being your most authentic self. The romantic sphere of your life should provide a comfortable space where you are free to be yourself. When you have to conceal parts of your personality or hide anything about your life, know you are stuck in a dead-end relationship.
Second comes lying literally. Are your pants on fire when your partner calls you to make plans? Suddenly very busy, are you? If you’re avoiding them and making excuses, please introspect; avoiding each other isn’t a habit of couples in healthy relationships. Lying in any form or having difficulty in communicating honestly is indicative of a wall – a tall, brick wall that lies at the end of the dating road for you.
2. Should you stay in a dead-end relationship? Spot the differences
If you were to make a Venn diagram of your partner’s and your goals, would you find very little congruity? A relationship is created on the foundation of shared meaning. There has to be a commonality in vision, goals, core values, and ambitions. When two individuals have absolutely nothing in common; when they are actively headed in the opposite direction, it is one of the biggest dead relationship signs.
Say, you want to get married and have children but your partner doesn’t. You believe in traveling and exploring while they like leading an anchored life. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an impasse. There are slim to no chances of you both reconciling your goals or views of life. In such a situation, you’re bound to part ways eventually because you will never compromise on certain things. Is it wise to stay in a dead-end relationship like this? You tell us…
3. Cause of death: Boredom
Friedrich Nietzsche astutely wrote, “Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?” And this is exactly what you ought to be asking yourself. We mean, boredom creeps into the relationship for every couple temporarily. But it should NOT be a perpetual state of existence. This is the dead-end relationship meaning you must understand. While no partner can give you butterflies 24/7, it is reasonable to expect spontaneity, fun, surprises, and adventure.
If your romantic trajectory has been bleh from start to end, things ain’t looking very good for you. This is simply because you will reach a point of saturation and want more from your partner. Because boredom doesn’t just have to do with physical activity; it has to do with conversation, routine, and love languages. When you part ways (and you most probably will), you’ll regret that you wasted years in a dead-end relationship.
Related Reading: 11 Things To Do When A Relationship Gets Boring
4. Touch me not
Dating for just sex is a big no-no. But disregarding sex completely while dating is also a no-no. Physical intimacy is a crucial component of a healthy relationship. Many underestimate the importance of sexual compatibility and live to rue the day later. If there’s no chemistry between you two, then you’re most likely in a dead-end relationship. An absence of sexual activity is also a tell-tale of underlying problems like trust issues or insecurities.
Besides, physical intimacy entails a lot more than just sex, it comprises hugs, pats, caresses, kisses, or something as simple as holding hands goes a long way in contributing to the success of a relationship. Being averse to your partner’s touch is something you should take seriously. Still think you should stay in a dead-end relationship? Hmmm, what’s the word we’re looking for? Sustainable. Your relationship isn’t sustainable if you aren’t physically comfortable with them.
5. Future? More like Few-ture
Allow us to ask a very cliché question… Where do you see yourself 5 years down the line? Now, as you paint a picture of the different spheres of your life, think about your partner. Are they present in this hypothetical photo? Or did you forget about them completely? A relationship is a coming together of two people who want to create a shared life. The ultimate dead-end relationship meaning is this – there is no future to your bond.
Maybe you’re stuck in that odd space where you don’t have a reason to break up. Or maybe being with them is a habit at this point. It’s easier to date than to not, right? WRONG. You’re a part of something that will only cause pain and heartbreak eventually. When you stand facing a wall at the end of the road, you’ll wonder why you wasted years in a dead-end relationship. Better have some foresight now, we think…
So, what should be your cue for ending a dead-end relationship? A tendency to hang out with the whole world before your partner. If you prefer the company of others, it is indicative of a lack of compatibility between you and your (in)significant other. And we aren’t speaking of a once-in-a-blue-moon happening. (It’s normal to want to socialize outside the relationship.) We specifically mean prioritizing others before your partner.
Here’s a hypothetical scenario: You accidentally made dinner plans with your friend and your partner on the same date. Given a choice between the two, who do you pick? If you’re in a relationship that’s a lost cause, you’ll opt for the friend in a flash. Justify it how you like but we both know the truth. Your connection with your partner doesn’t rank very high on the list of priorities. (FYI – A healthy relationship is one where partners actively make time for each other.)
7. On cloud zero
We know that dating someone isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; every couple has their fair share of highs and lows. But when you take a birds-eye view, your relationship should be a happy one. The good times ought to outweigh the bad ones significantly. Know that you’re in a dead-end relationship if you are discontented and unhappy. The prospect of being with your partner forever should be exciting and hopeful. If it induces dread, things are surely not right.
Love is a choice we make every single day. We make it because our partners bring us joy, comfort, and security. If you cannot seek solace in their company and find happiness with them, you should not be together. So, you tell us – what does the pie chart of your relationship look like? Does the thought of your partner put a smile on your face? Or does unhappiness reign supreme? (Bet you’re wondering how to get out of a dead-end relationship now.)
Related Reading: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships – 10 Characteristics
8. Good communication? What’s that about?
If you want to know whether you’re on the path to nowhere, examine your communication patterns. A dead-end relationship sees the most dysfunctional patterns of conversation and conflict resolution. A minor remark escalates into a full-fledged fight and said fight opens a zillion cans of worms. There are days when you have silent spells for hours and others when you’re passive-aggressive. The top statements you use are “I didn’t mean that” and “what are you getting at?”.
Basically, your conversations are grade-A train wrecks. Personal attacks, passive-aggressiveness, bouts of yelling, name-calling, blame-shifting, manipulation, and gaslighting are a few of your expert areas. The dead-end relationship meaning everyone should know lies in the quality of communication. A bond can never last when two individuals are incapable of speaking to each other clearly, honestly, and rationally.
9. The bad, the ugly, and the ugliest – How to get out of a dead-end relationship?
A relationship is dead-end not only when a breakup is inevitable, but also when there’s no scope of growth for both people involved. Your connection isn’t very okay if you are harming each other, albeit unintentionally. We’re referring to toxicity and abusive patterns in your dating life. These can appear in various forms – emotional, physical, psychological, or financial. You cannot go on in such an environment for a long time.
There will come a point when you’ll experience burnout. Staying in a dead-end relationship is immensely exhausting because your boundaries keep getting breached. You begin to feel invaded and uncomfortable in the setting. If you are being subjected to any kind of abuse, please extract yourself from the situation immediately. Seek help from authorities and reach out to friends and family. Be fully cognizant of the damage a dead-end bond inflicts.
The quandary of the hour is whether you ought to stay in a dead-end relationship or not. Let’s talk about the pathways open to you right now. What can you do if you find yourself stuck in a rut? Evaluate the pros and cons of each course of action listed below. Here’s what to do when you’re tackling the dead relationship signs…
How To Deal With A Dead-End Relationship?
On account of the history and intimacy shared with their partner, people are reluctant to end relationships. But sometimes, that is the best thing they can do for everyone involved. You’re probably wondering what the next step is and we’re here to ease your dilemma. Take a look at these options that’ll help you deal with a dead-end relationship.
- Communicate with honesty: Having a heart-to-heart with your partner is the first thing you should do. Talk about where you see the relationship going and whether your visions are compatible. What can you do to make things function better? The role of communication is not to be taken lightly!
- Work hard: Partners have to work in tandem to make a relationship work. If you both are willing to improve your bond by spending time together, building trust, figuring out the loopholes, and supporting each other, then your relationship stands a chance. But mind you, this will require you to invest time and effort
- Seek help: If you’re staying in a dead-end relationship and are confused about how to deal with it, you should seek guidance from a mental health expert. At Bonobology, we offer professional help through our range of licensed counselors and therapists. They can help you understand your dynamic better
- Part ways: A breakup is a difficult choice but it is a smart one too. Don’t stay in a dead-end relationship out of comfort and habit. If it has no scope for improvement, walk out of it immediately. Trust us, it’ll save you a world of hurt later
Just like that, we’ve come to an end of our sojourn. We hope our advice helped you see things clearly. If you think we missed something, please write to us – we love hearing from you. And always remember that you can come back to us anytime. Bono is here for you.
With God’s grace, your efforts, and some couples counseling, you can revive a dead relationship. ‘Fix’ is the wrong word to use since an emotional connection is not a machine. However, it is important to note that most dead relationships don’t work out; there’s a solid reason behind them not working. You should definitely give it a try, provided the bond is worth saving.
As stated before, ‘fix’ isn’t the right word. But you can try working for the dead-end relationship by seeking professional help, communicating effectively, and spending time together. A major reason behind dead-end connections is an incongruity in vision. You should try and reconcile your and your partner’s goals for healthy functioning.
There’s no objective way to answer this question. Each relationship is unique and has different requirements. Generally speaking, space is healthy in a relationship. If your partner wants some time away, let them take it. Space can be a good pause button that’ll help you both recalibrate (but there’s also such a thing as too much space, so tread carefully).