Are you in one of those “We’re just spending time together” situations? You go out on dates and have physical intimacy, but still don’t label it (do I smell a gen-zer?). Or, maybe he treats you like a queen on some days but acts cold on others. If only you knew about the signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, right?
That’s where we come in. We know, we know, the mixed signals might make it seem like it’s impossible to try and get a grasp on what’s going on in his head. Trust us, the indications are far more apparent than you think.
So, how exactly do you figure out that he has eyes just for you? Or, more specifically, that he wants you to have eyes just for him? Let’s take a look at a few sure cues that he’s got the hots for you and wants to be your one and only.
15 Sure Signs He Doesn’t Want Anyone To Have You
It’s possible that while you’re trying to uncover what’s really going on in that mysterious mind of his, you might just uncover the signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants. In all likelihood, he’s giving you those mixed signals because he’s giving them to himself.
Or, he might just not want to tell you about what he’s feeling for whatever reason. Or, he might be fighting his feelings because he’s not over someone else. The point is, the reason behind him not telling you about his true feelings can be anything, and you might not necessarily be able to put your finger on it.
However, what is possible to know is if he’s just keeping you on the hook, or if he likes you to the point where he can’t imagine you with anyone else. Let’s list out all the signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you:
1. He’s jealous of other men in your life
The biggest sign he doesn’t want anyone else to have you is when it’s apparent that he doesn’t like the other men in your life. Expect to hear things like “Oh, so you’re hanging out with Jason now? Didn’t know you guys were that close. Hmph.”
You might not be romantically involved with any of these people, you might not even be super close with them, but you’re going to see him get unmistakably jealous of the other men in your life. Of course, if the jealousy goes extremely overboard and turns toxic, you might be looking at an unhealthy emotional attachment instead.
2. He makes remarks about your male friends
If you’re both comfortable with each other and already indulge in banter, it’s no big deal to sometimes hear things like, “I bet Jason never cooks for you, does he?” Yes, this man really hates the Jasons in your life.
Such remarks will mostly be sarcastic and not with the intent of being rude or offensive. Once you notice a pattern of harmless banter aimed toward your male friends, you can count it as one of the indications he doesn’t want anyone else to have you.
3. He’s his best self around you
He’s extra nice, extra dedicated, extra social, and extra fun when he’s with you. He’s always trying to make sure you’re having a good time, and you’ll see him do better in his own life as well. That’s because he’s advertising the best version of himself, so you get enticed by him until he starts ignoring you for his PlayStation 6-months down the line. Kidding!
Point is, if he’s using you or if he’s keeping you on the hook, he’s not going to try too hard. On the other hand, even if he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship but still likes you a lot, he’s going to be his absolute best around you and you won’t be left wondering about the signs that he likes you back. PS: we weren’t kidding. The PlayStation always wins.
4. He’s your Mr. Dependable
If a man is emotionally attached to you, he’s going to want to be the person you can always count on. He’s going to want to be your date for everything, the problem-solver for any issue that comes up, and the entertainer for nights when you’re bored.
At least for the times when he’s not overwhelmed and trying to ignore you as a result of that, he’s definitely going to try and do his best to be the person you can rely on. We swear he’s just coming to fix the lamp, nothing else. Wink, wink.
5. He’s trying his best in bed
Speaking of “fixing the lamp”, if there’s any physical intimacy involved, he’s probably trying to give you the works to keep you interested. Out of all the signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, we’d say this is the most fun.
However, you’ve got to be a bit careful with this one. If your relationship is solely physical, it might just be a sign he sees you as a possession.
6. He remembers the little things about your life
“Oh yeah, you have an uncle there that you told me about,” wait, did he remember that time you told him about uncle Sam who lives in Dakota for no particular reason? Yeah, he’s in deep.
If he’s super into you, he’s going to remember the things you tell him because they matter to him. Even if he says he doesn’t want a relationship, this sign proves that he cares about you, wants to get to know you, and wants to show that he’s interested, albeit subconsciously.
7. He treats you like you’re the only one for him
Sure, yeah, he might have told you that he’s just “not ready” for a relationship or that commitment freaks him out, but that’s not going to stop him from being incredibly romantic with you. He just can’t help himself.
This sign he doesn’t want anyone else to have you might just be the most annoying of the lot. One day he’s the epitome of commitment issues, the next he’s getting you two-dozen roses and a home-cooked meal for your not-a-date night. Make up your mind!
8. He asks about your relationship history
No, it’s not going to feel like he’s probing into your life to judge the kind of person you are. That may happen when there’s an unhealthy emotional attachment, but if a man is emotionally attached to you, he’s going to want to get to know you better.
Hence, he’s asking you about that awkward first kiss or that tough breakup you had. He wants to know about the kind of people you’re into, and what you’re like in a relationship.
9. He’s emotionally vulnerable with you
He’s not always Mr. Dependable, the macho man, around you, but he also lets you see his vulnerable side. The reason why this is a sign he doesn’t want anyone else to have you is that it takes a lot for a man to be vulnerable with a woman, and it usually means that he really trusts and likes you.
However, if you see signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants while he’s also vulnerable with you, it basically means that he loves being emotionally attached to you but still suffers from doubt about any sort of commitment.
Related Reading: 15 Clear Signs Your Crush Doesn’t Like You Back
10. He’s involved in your life
A casual fling doesn’t really feature the both of you going grocery shopping together, or helping the other out with a ride back from the dentist, right? On the other hand, if he’s really, really invested in you to the point where he doesn’t want anyone else to have you, you can bet that he’s always your ride back from the dentist.
When he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you, he’s not going to leave any room for anyone else to get close to you. When he wants you, he’s going to be super-involved and tell you that he wants you.
11. He doesn’t like it when you’re too busy for him
If a weekend goes by and you don’t make the time to see him, he’s going to be annoyed. If two go by and you’re still brunching with Jason instead of him, he’s going to be fuming. Even if he says he doesn’t know how to be in a relationship but wants you bad, he’s going to clearly show his disdain when Jason features all over your Instagram stories but not him.
When he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you, he’s going to be upset about you making plans with others but will never initiate making plans with you. It’s one of the most obvious signs of him being jealous.
12. You guys fight, but he always makes up for it
Just the fact that you guys have had a few arguments means that there’s something more than just a casual friendship/relationship here. Think about it, why would you go through the effort of fighting with someone if they didn’t really matter to you?
But the fact that he always makes up for it or makes sure that things go back to normal is a huge indication that he doesn’t want anyone else to have you. He’d rather let go of his ego and fix things with you than risk losing you to someone else.
13. He’s jealous and insecure
When he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you, there’s a possibility that that’s happening because he’s a jealous person and just can’t bear the thought of you being with someone else. Perhaps it’s his insecurity, ego, and jealous nature that’s making him like you.
Perhaps he’s sticking around because his ego just can’t accept that you’ll be with someone new once he leaves. If this is the case, you’ll also see signs that he’s using you, and signs he sees you as a possession.
14. He gets overwhelmed and leaves but comes back when he thinks he’ll lose you
When he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you, this is going to be a constant. He’s going to leave every time he loses interest but the minute he starts to feel like you’ve lost interest as well, you’ve suddenly got seven DM notifications from him.
This isn’t the healthiest sign, and it’s going to leave you saying things like, “He said he doesn’t want a relationship but keeps contacting me!” Yeah, you might want to rethink this one.
15. You’re always in his plans
If you’ve noticed signs he sees you as a possession, he’s probably not going to involve you too much in his life. Hell, you might not even know what he does every day. But, if he’s someone who really wants you, you’ll see it translate into his actions when he’s always trying to get you to be a part of everything he does.
Going out for a movie? You’re the first person he calls. Planning a trip? He’s thinking about going away with you. Thinking of attending a concert 6 months from now? He has already booked the tickets.
Related Reading: 17 Signs There Is Someone Else In Your Partner’s Life
The signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you might confuse you from time to time because of his hot and cold nature. Don’t sweat it though, just try and think about if you’ve seen any of the aforementioned indications. If not, you’ve probably just got someone who’s keeping you on the hook, like the surplus grain set aside for times of crisis.
How Do You Know If A Man Is Emotionally Attached?
Now that you know that this person doesn’t want you to be with anyone else, the question then arises: is this feeling of his stemming from unhealthy ego and jealous tendencies, or is he actually emotionally invested in you?
If a man is emotionally attached to you, it means that he’s found comfort in you, he has developed a sense of intimacy that allows him to be his true self around you, and he greatly appreciates your presence in his life. And if that’s the case, here are a few things you’ll easily be able to spot in his behavior:
- He wants to spend every waking minute with you
- He tells you everything about his life, the good, the bad, and the ugly
- He wants you to meet his family, friends, and siblings
- He has let his guard down around you
- He respects you and asks you for advice
- Fights don’t cause rifts, he tries to fix them
- He’s always going the extra mile for you
- He’s always in contact with you
- He cares about you and remembers the important things
If you see the signs he doesn’t want anyone else to have you and you see the indications that he is emotionally attached to you, it’s usually good news. However, it’s also worth noting that emotional attachment and love are not the same things.
In a nutshell, love stems from empathy in relationships and a desire to give precedence to the well-being of another. Emotional attachment, however, stems from wanting your own needs met. You can be attached to someone without truly being in love with them.
- If he’s jealous of other men in your life and comes into your life when he thinks he has lost you, he doesn’t want you to be with anyone else
- Not wanting you to be with anyone else isn’t always positive, it may stem from egotistical and jealous tendencies
- If you notice that he is emotionally invested and doesn’t want anyone else to have you, you’re both most probably already acting like a couple
- It’s important to note that emotional attachment is not the same as love
- Have an honest conversation with the person, keep your self-respect in mind and make clear decisions to demystify the relationship
Hopefully, you now know enough about what he’s looking for so that you don’t end up saying things like, “He said he doesn’t want a relationship but keeps contacting me, I’m so confused!” Before you make any decision though, our final piece of advice would be to have a candid conversation with the man, even if you need to help him detangle the jumbled thoughts he has been harboring.