Relationships 101

20 Signs He Is Not Into You

You shouldn't waste your time if you spot these signs.
he is not into you

How do you tell if he is not into you? Is there a way to make sure whether he is indeed into you or not? If only Cupid had made modern day dating that easy. Whether a guy is into you or not is a real brain scratcher because you can’t directly ask him as you don’t want to sound too desperate or needy. On the other hand, he sends you these confusing signals and it’s hard to decode whether he is friend zoning you or just hiding his feelings. What you can do is not follow your heart, but read the signs he’s not into you anymore. And be sure for once and all.

20 Signs He Is Not Into You

Whether a guy is into you or not is confusing especially if he is your close friend. Or someone you get to interact with a lot often. You see his caring nature and think that he’s into you but on the other hand when he talks about other girls you feel that he’s not. You are caught in this misery and you do not seem to have a way out. But, with a little attention, you can figure whether he is into you or not. If he’s not into you, you will be able to tell through body language. He might not directly tell you that he’s not into you but will expect you to understand his motives through his body language. Below are 20 subtle signs he’s not into you.

1. He doesn’t spend much time with you

You don't spend much time together
You don’t spend much time together Image source

When a guy is into you, he wants to spend most of his time with you because he wants to know more about you. No matter how much time he spends with you, he will still think that it is not enough. If he doesn’t spend much time with you, it is clearly a red flag that he’s not into you.

Many a times it will appear as if he’s with you but his mind is wandering somewhere else. A guy who is into you will give his full attention to you rather than being mentally absent.

2. He isn’t the first one to contact you

You are the one who is always texting him and calling him. He never initiates a conversation, though he mostly replies back. He is not the one to text you first. It is almost as if you are forcing him to talk to you. There are times when guys avoid contacting you first through text or calls because they don’t want to seem too desperate. However, if this is a recurring habit, it’s a sign that he’s not that much into you.

3. He doesn’t get jealous

When he is not into you he doesn't feel jealous
When he is not into you he doesn’t feel jealous Image source

Jealousy is a sign of possessiveness. Every guy gets a bit jealous if he sees his girl with someone else whether he shows it or not. He may not tell you about it but you can make it out through his body language. Try flirting or getting close to other guys and see how he reacts. If he doesn’t even pay attention to what you’re doing with other guys, it is a clear cut sign that he’s not into you.

4. You are the one making plans

Are you the one who is always making plans? When you make a plan and ask him for his inputs, he gives vague replies and tells you to decide. You feel that it’s a typical guy habit but what if it is because he doesn’t want to make plans at all? Do you feel that you’re forcing him to make plans with you? This could be another red flag.

Related reading: 6 Signs You Are in a One-Sided Relationship

5. He keeps cancelling

After putting in so much time and effort in planning, you’re finally excited for your date with him. With every minute that passes, your anticipation to meet him grows stronger and stronger until he cancels on you. This isn’t the first time he has done this. It is always a work thing or something he needs to take care of.

6. He flirts with other women

You two go to a party, and you see him joking around and flirting with other women. The moment you join the conversation, he goes back to be dull and uninterested. He’s more interested in talking to other women rather than giving you company at the party. Is he really into you?

7. He doesn’t know anything about you

He barely knows you
He barely knows you Image source

The more time two people spend with each other, the more they get to know about each other. A person who is into you doesn’t stop just at you, he will also ask about you from your close friends. In his case, you know all about him but he doesn’t know anything about you. Does he know things like your favourite flowers, cuisines, restaurant, movie or colour? Do you feel as if he treats you like a stranger?

8. There’s no emotional connection

Your guy always seems distraught. Even when you feel low, he doesn’t seem to care and you even can’t count on him to be there to console you. It is because there’s no emotional connection between you both. Love and feelings are derived from an emotional bond but here, that bond itself is lacking between you both.

9. He is not into you if he is still a stranger to you

Relationships are all about communicating and getting to know each other on a more personal and emotional level. This guy hasn’t yet opened up to you. Initially you thought that he was being an introvert but now you feel as if he isn’t interested. He always keeps the conversation formal and treats you as an acquaintance, let alone a friend or a girlfriend.

Related reading: 8 ways to deal with saying I love you and not hearing it back

10. It’s just about sex

It's just about sex
It’s just about sex Image source

The only time you both communicate with each other is when he wants to have sex with you. After sex is over, he goes back to being his uninterested self again. It’s as if your relationship is just based on sex.

11. His social media activity doesn’t include you

On social media, you will see him liking pictures of other women but if you post something at the same time, he will not like or comment on it. It is as if he doesn’t want to be associated with you online. He’s interested in the online activity of other women and has side lined you even on social media.

12. He talks to other women

Talking to other women doesn’t seem that big a deal. After all, you don’t want to be a jealous and clingy girlfriend. But if he is talking to other women and flirting with them then that’s a problem. His messages to you are plain and cold but when he is talking to other women, all of a sudden he’s the funniest person on Earth.

13. You haven’t met his friends

You haven't met his friends
He hasn’t made you meet his friends Image source

When a guy is into you, he talks about you in front of his friends. This is because he turns to his friends for opinions and suggestions. If you meet his friends and they behave as if it is the first time they are hearing your name, it’s because they don’t even know that you exist. If a guy is into you, he talks about you with his inner circle.

14. He doesn’t hold your hand in public

Guys who are into you feel kind of proud and happy to have you in your life. They like to hold your hand in public or even hold your waist to show the world what you mean to them. Introverts usually don’t hold hands in public that fast but eventually, with time, they too open up. If your guy doesn’t hold your hand at all in public even though much time has passed since you two have been together, it’s one of the signs that he’s not into you.

Related reading: Is your man with you just for sex? 20 signs to watch out!

15. He’s not present on significant events

Imagine it’s your birthday and you are very excited to spend it with him. He cancels because of something more important. Sometimes emergency commitments come up and one can’t do anything about it. What matters is what he does after that. Does he make it up to you or just gets away with his excuse?

16. He treats you normally

He treats you as everyone else
You do not get any special treatment Image source

One of the signs that he’s not into you is by the way he treats you. If he treats you like a normal friend or an acquaintance, it is because he isn’t interested in you. This implies that you are still in the friend zone and need to up your game if you want to get out of it.

17. He tells you to date other people

If he’s asking you to date other people, it means that he himself wants to date other people or may not be inclined to be in a committed relationship at the moment. It is also a sign he is not ready for an exclusive relationship with you. The very fact that he’s telling you to date other people means that he doesn’t have you in mind when it comes to dating or being in a relationship. He still considers you as a friend.

18. He doesn’t let you leave stuff at his place

If you are spending most of your nights at his place, you will prefer leaving your stuff at his place rather than carrying the same stuff every day. If he is objecting to it, it maybe because he doesn’t want the relationship to go too fast or worse, there’s another woman in his life.

19. He contacts you at his whims

Whenever he is in the mood to talk or wants to have sex, he will call you for a booty call. Other than that, you won’t hear from him. When you try to call or text him, he will never call back and two days later, all of a sudden he will call you as if nothing happened. Such a person is just interested in a physical relationship and isn’t interested in any type of commitment from you.

20. You just know that he is not into you

You just know that he is not into you
You just know that he is not into you Image source

You might try to console yourself saying that he’s into you but it’s just the circumstances that aren’t acting in your favour. However, deep down you know the truth. He’s not into you and you’ve known it for some time now. You are clinging on to this one-sided relationship expecting for things to change. Ask yourself, is he really going to change?

The fear of rejection always hangs above our heads because of which we look out for the signs to understand for ourselves. After reading the signs he is not into you, what to do next? Don’t hold on to him anymore. If it is meant to happen, it eventually might, just don’t force it on him. It will drive him away further. Keep an open mind as Cupid has its ways of working its magic. You never know who you meet at a café or a bookstore and fall in love all over again.

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