So, you’re into this guy, but he doesn’t seem interested. How do you tell he is not into you? Is there a way to tell if he is indeed into you or not? If only Cupid had made modern-day dating that easy. Whether a guy is into you or not is a real brain scratcher because you can’t directly ask him as you don’t want to sound too needy or desperate.
On the other hand, he sends you these confusing signals and it’s hard to decode whether he is friend-zoning you or just hiding his feelings. What you can do is listen to your gut, and read the signs he’s not into you anymore. And be sure for once and all.
20 Signs He Is Not Into You – Don’t Waste Your Time
Whether a guy is into you or not is confusing especially if he is your close friend. Or someone you get to interact with a lot often. You see his caring nature and think that he’s into you but on the other hand when he talks about other girls you feel that he’s not.
You are caught in this misery and you do not seem to have a way out. But, with a little attention, you can figure whether he is into you or not. If he’s not into you, you will be able to tell through body language. When someone is not into you. they do make it obvious in the way they carry themselves around you.
Roger went on a few good dates with Annette but soon started losing interest in her. He would still hang out with her because he did not know how to let her down easy, but his body language gave it away quickly. He stopped holding hands with her, never looking her directly in the eye and often seemed anxious in her presence.
So he might not directly tell you that he’s not into you but will expect you to understand his motives through his body language. Here are 20 subtle signs he’s not into you.
1. He doesn’t spend much time with you
When a guy is into you, he wants to spend most of his time with you because he wants to know more about you. No matter how much time he spends with you, he will still think that it is not enough. If he doesn’t spend much time with you, it is clearly a red flag that he’s not into you.
Many times it will appear as if he’s with you but his mind is wandering somewhere else. A guy who is into you will give his full attention to you rather than being mentally absent. So don’t kid yourself and know that he’s not into you anymore if he is just not putting the same kind of effort into your dates anymore or is refusing to spend time with you like he used to.
Related Reading: 6 Ways Bitterness Creeps Into Your Loving Relationship
2. He isn’t the first one to contact you
This is indeed one of the warning signs he’s not into you and sadly, most women seem to be so smitten that they tend to condone this one. Well we are here to remind you of the same. If he is not making the effort to reach out, consider that a problem.
You are the one who is always texting him and calling him. He never initiates a conversation, though he mostly replies back. He never texts you first. It is almost as if you are forcing him to talk to you. There are times when guys avoid contacting you first through text or calls because they don’t want to seem too desperate. However, if this is a recurring habit, it’s a sign that he’s not that much into you.
3. He doesn’t get jealous
Jealousy is a sign of possessiveness. Every guy gets a bit jealous if he sees his girl with someone else whether he shows it or not. He may not tell you about it but you can make it out through his body language.
Try flirting or getting close to other guys and see how he reacts. If he doesn’t even pay attention to what you’re doing with other guys, it is a clear cut sign that he’s not into you.
4. You are the one making plans
Are you the one who is always making plans? If he is not taking any interest in trying to have a good time with you, it could be one of the subtle signs he’s not into you. When you make a plan and ask him for his inputs, he gives vague replies and tells you to decide.
You feel that it’s a typical guy habit and men are just like that but that is not true. Know that it is because he doesn’t want to make plans at all. Do you feel that you’re forcing him to make plans with you? This could be another red flag.
If you are often left asking yourself, “Is he busy or not interested?” then consider the latter to be true and you will thank us.
Related Reading: 6 Signs You Are in a One-Sided Relationship
5. He keeps cancelling
How to know he’s not into you anymore? Consider the following situation. After putting in so much time and effort in planning, you’re finally excited for your date with him. With every minute that passes, your anticipation to meet him grows stronger and stronger until he cancels on you, unabashedly.
This isn’t the first time he has done this. It is always a work thing or something he needs to take care of. Moreover, what’s worse is that he hardly feels any sort of guilt for standing you up. He just considers it another day and moves on without having any regards for your feelings. Ask yourself, could this ever be love?
6. Flirting with other women is one of the signs he’s not into you
Remember when in Sex And The City 2, Carrie took her husband Big to a Hollywood premiere, only to find him laughing in the corner with a woman he had started chatting up at the party. While he was gleeful during that encounter and had a lovely time that evening, as soon as he came home, he jumped into bed in front of the television and his charming personality had fizzled out completely. When he came back home with Carrie, he just ignored her and went back to being by myself.
Now consider a similar situation. You two go to a party, and you see him joking around and flirting with other women. The moment you join the conversation, he goes back to be dull and uninterested. He’s more interested in talking to other women rather than giving you company at the party. Is he really into you? How to know he’s not into you anymore is about watching out for whether he’s acting a little bit like Mr. Big.
7. He doesn’t know anything about you
The more time two people spend with each other, the more they get to know about each other. A person who is into you doesn’t stop just at you, he will also ask about you from your close friends. In his case, you know all about him but he doesn’t know anything about you. Does he know things like your favorite flowers, cuisines, restaurant, movie or color? Do you feel as if he treats you like a stranger?
Know that he’s not into you anymore if he does not care to ask about you. If he doesn’t bother about how your day went, how you spent your free time or what is really going on in your life, it is probably because he does not care enough to know.
Related Reading: What Are We Attracted To?
8. Lack of emotional connect is one of the signs he’s not into you
Think about this. Your guy always seems distraught. Even when you feel low, he doesn’t seem to care and you even can’t count on him to be there to console you. It is because there’s no emotional connection between you both.
Love and feelings are derived from an emotional bond but here, that bond itself is lacking between you both. You might be infatuated with him and that is why it might be hard to see, believe and accept the signs he’s not into you. But when the emotional distance is there, your heart already knows that this is a relationship that is probably not worth holding onto.
9. He is not into you if he is still a stranger to you
Relationships are all about communicating and getting to know each other on a more personal and emotional level. This guy hasn’t yet opened up to you. Initially, you thought that he was being an introvert but now you feel as if he isn’t interested. He always keeps the conversation formal and treats you as an acquaintance, not even a friend let alone a girlfriend.
10. It’s just about sex for him
The only time you both communicate with each other is when he wants to have sex with you. After the sex is over, he goes back to being his uninterested self again. It’s as if your relationship is just based on sex. Do you feel like you can resonate with this? Because if you can, then consider this a major relationship red flag.
If he finds it all too simple to just zip up and walk out, once the deed is one, then you have some thinking to do about what this relationship actually means to him. Perhaps he only thinks of it as a casual relationship or a booty-call situation.
11. His social media activity doesn’t include you
On social media, you will see him liking pictures of other women but if you post something at the same time, he will not like or comment on it. It is as if he doesn’t want to be associated with you online. He’s interested in the online activity of other women and has sidelined you specifically even on social media.
Related reading: 18 Male Body Language Signs Of Attraction
12. He talks to other women
How to know if he’s not into you through text? Well think about whether he is quick to reply to you or does he take hours to get back to you. If he is not consistent with texting you online, it might not be a situation of texting anxiety but it just could be that he is texting and talking to multiple women at once.
Are you constantly left thinking, “He is always online but not talking to me!”, then it is because he could be talking to others. Talking to other women doesn’t seem that big a deal. After all, you don’t want to be a jealous and clingy girlfriend. But if he is talking to other women and flirting with them then that’s a problem. His messages to you are plain and cold but when he is talking to other women, all of a sudden he’s the funniest person on Earth.
13. You haven’t met his friends
When a guy is into you, he talks about you in front of his friends. Since he loves you so much, he just likes to boast about you a little bit. Also, this is because he turns to his friends for opinions and suggestions.
But if you meet his friends and they behave as if it is the first time they are hearing your name, it’s because they don’t even know that you exist. If a guy is into you, he talks about you with his inner circle.
14. He doesn’t hold your hand in public
Guys who are into you feel proud and happy to have you in their life. They like to hold your hand in public or even put an arm around your waist to show the world what you mean to them. If you’re dating an introvert, you’ll know they don’t usually don’t hold hands in public that fast but eventually, with time, they too open up.
If your guy doesn’t hold your hand at all in public even though much time has passed since you two have been together, it’s one of the signs he’s not into you body language wise.
15. He’s not present on significant events
This is indeed one of the warning signs he’s not into you since it is so terribly obvious. Imagine it’s your birthday and you are very excited to spend it with him. He cancels on you because of something more important that has ‘suddenly’ come up.
Sometimes emergency commitments come up and one can’t do anything about it. What matters is what he does after that. Does he make it up to you or does he just get away with his excuse?
16. Treating you ‘normally’ is one of the signs he’s not into you
One of the signs that he’s not into you is evident by the way he treats you. If he treats you like a regular friend or an acquaintance, it is because he isn’t interested in you. This implies that you are still in the friend zone and need to up your game if you want to get out of it.
17. Telling you to date other people is one of the signs he’s not into you
If he’s asking you to date other people, it means that he himself wants to date other people or may not want to be in a committed relationship at the moment. It is also a sign he is not ready for an exclusive relationship with you. The very fact that he’s telling you to date other people means that he doesn’t have you in mind when it comes to dating or being in a relationship. He still considers you as a friend.
18. He doesn’t let you leave stuff at his place
If you are spending most of your nights at his place, you will prefer leaving your stuff at his place rather than carrying the same stuff every day. If he is objecting to it, it may be because he doesn’t want the relationship to go too fast or worse, there’s another woman in his life.
Related Reading: 21 Do’s And Don’ts When Starting A New Relationship
19. He contacts you at his whims
Whenever he is in the mood to talk or wants to have sex, he will call you for a booty call. Other than that, you won’t hear from him. When you try to call or text him, he will never call back and two days later, all of a sudden he will call you as if nothing happened. Such a person is just interested in a physical relationship and isn’t interested in any type of commitment from you.
20. You just know that he is not into you
You might try to console yourself saying that he’s into you but it’s just the circumstances that aren’t acting in your favor. However, deep down you know the truth. He’s not into you and you’ve known it for some time now. You are clinging on to this one-sided relationship expecting for things to change. Ask yourself, is he really going to change?
The fear of rejection always hangs above our heads because of which we look out for signs to understand for ourselves. After reading the signs he is not into you, what to do next? Don’t hold on to him anymore. If it is meant to happen, it eventually might but just don’t force it on him. It will drive him away further. Keep an open mind as Cupid has a ways of working his magic. You never know who you might meet at a café or a bookstore and fall in love all over again.