One of the bigger complications that starts in youth is having crushes. And with crushes come endless questions, the most popular being: Does he like me back? If you have a crush on him and haven’t confessed, then you’d naturally start to wonder how he feels about you. Let’s put your mind at ease. Instead of constantly obsessing over his thoughts, go through the list below carefully. Let’s find out how he really feels about you, shall we?
Does He Like Me Back? 17 Ways To Know
During the transition from the easiness of childhood to the confusion of adulthood, everyone goes through similar emotions of attraction, crushes, first loves, and of course, first heartbreaks. You see your friends, and occasionally even yourself, circle the same doubts: He likes me. He likes me not. Is he genuinely interested in me too? How do I find out if he likes me back?
Be it your teens, twenties, thirties, or forties, these questions persist whenever you navigate the dating scene. You’re not alone, because when it comes to understanding guys and their feelings, they can be hard to read for many of us. So how do you find out if your crush likes you back?
We have compiled a list of 17 different ways for you to answer this never-ending “does my crush like me back” puzzle. If some of these are relatable, it might be time to reconsider the relationship that you have been seeing as a platonic connection till now.
1. Body language betrayal (but the good kind)
This is one of the primary indicators of a person’s interest in you. When it comes to guys, there are a few actions that can disclose his intentions. For example, does he lean in when you are talking to him? Does he have prolonged eye contact with you while having a conversation? Pay attention to his body language as it will tell you a lot about how he feels for you.
- He laughs with you: Are there moments when you are hanging out with him and you crack a joke which would make other people cringe, but he laughs aloud? When you see him, does his face light up?
- He looks straight into your eyes: Especially during your one-on-one interactions, do you notice how his eyes never lose sight of you?
- Holding you close: There may have been a romantic moment or two between you both, when he puts his arm around you or holds your hand, leaving you in big smiles. Does he try to stay physically close to you or engage in subtle touches like hand grazing or caressing your hair?
Research explored the relationship between interpersonal attraction and enacted behavior in 2018 and came up with tangible proof of the importance of attraction in the creation and control of interpersonal relationships, and how that attraction is highlighted by particular actions linked with trust. So if your answers to the questions above have been yes, chances are your suspicions are correct and he does like you back.
2. He tries to impress you endlessly
Have you ever been out on a first date with a guy you really like and he just cannot shut up about his accomplishments and achievements? In an incredibly twisted way, this is a sign that he likes you. My friend Camille shared her story, “I went on this date where the guy, although chivalrous, kept bragging about his proficiency in his field. By the end of the date, I was so fed up that I couldn’t get away fast enough.”
It can be quite irritating and off-putting and there certainly are times when you, like Camille, can’t help but think “Does he actually like me, or is he just in love with himself?” When guys like someone, they primarily want to make sure that the person is impressed enough to be interested in them. Bragging about their accomplishments is a safe space for guys because their achievements make them happy about themselves. So, they seek to impress you with all the talents they possess.
Related Reading: Confused About A Guy? 18 Tips To Help You
3. He goes out of his way to be around you
It is a common human tendency to want to hang out and spend more time with the people who make you happy. If you are looking for an answer to “Is he into me?” then pay a little attention to his comings and goings around you. Oftentimes, when guys like someone back, they tend to blow off plans with friends or create plans with you separately to ensure that you end up spending quality time with them. They actually put in a lot of effort in being with you.
Even if it is a mundane chore like getting dry cleaning, he won’t complain about accompanying you on your errand. The next time you hang out with him, maintain eye contact with him and question him seriously if he had any other plans other than going to the dry cleaner’s with you. If he gets evasive about answering the question and is unable to act normally, you might have your answer!
4. He drunk texts/calls you
Growing up with crushes, drunk texts and calls come as no surprise to most of us. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes you forward and honest, allowing you to lean forward and reveal your innermost feelings. It is an old adage that “A drunk mind speaks a sober heart,” and we couldn’t agree more.
A study found that one of the top three reasons for drunk dialing was “called a person you were romantically interested in or involved with to see if they were willing to meet you later in the evening.” According to the same study, intoxication leads to unfiltered honesty which gets expressed when the person drunk dials you.
The next time he calls you when he’s drunk, your mind might fill with the thoughts of “Does he like me or does he only like me when he’s drunk?” Allow us to tell you: Yes, he does like you back, and no, it’s not just him being drunk. Chances are he’s a shy guy who sometimes gets nervous around you and alcohol just helps him express his feelings for you without self-consciousness.
There’s a flip side to this, of course. Imagine a scenario where a guy likes you but you have no feelings for him. He drunk calls to tell you how much he wishes you were with him. You might then wonder, “Why is he into me after I rejected him a few times?” Alcohol can lead to revelations of all kinds, from the ones that are welcome to the ones that make you cringe.
5. He texts you first and keeps the conversation going
There are several ways guys hint they like you through text, and texting you first every time is a good sign of that. Guys do not go out of their way to text someone (unless it’s their mom) and if he texts you first, be it just a meme, a “How’s your day been so far?” or even a simple “Hey,” be assured that he does like you back.
Of course, texting first cannot be the only indicator that he has strong feelings for you. Guys are simple creatures. If they find you interesting, like you romantically, and want to make sure that you know it, they will keep the conversation going at all costs. This is one of the major ways guys hint they like you through text.
6. He gets jealous
Jealousy, although an ugly emotion, is a sure-fire way to find out a man’s feelings toward you and is a great way to confirm if he is into you or not. Research on romantic jealousy in relationships discovered that jealousy in relationships is associated with insecure and anxious attachments. Of course, there are more mature ways to know if he likes you back, but if you are a little juvenile like me, the green-eyed monster always has your back.
- Getting jealous of other guys: If other men flirt with you, compliment you, or even look at you around a guy who likes you back, try as he might, the jealousy will show up on his face and sometimes even in his actions
- His body language around your friends: He might become uncomfortable when your friends join you two, as he was hoping to have you all to himself
- He asks if you are seeing other men: This is a great sign to determine if he likes you or not. If he is taking an interest in your love life and openly trying to enquire about it, he is probably interested in you
7. He teases you and gives you cute nicknames
I had a best friend who had a very specific nickname for me. It’s not like he didn’t have other female friends, he just reserved that nickname for me to the point that I debated whether or not he knew my actual name. Fast forward to a month later, he confessed that he had liked me for almost two months and he wanted to see if we could be more than friends.
If you’re scratching your head wondering, “Does he like me or is it in my head?” then think about whether he indulges in such kind of silly behavior with you. And listen intently to what he says to you. Playful behavior is a huge indicator of a person’s willingness to engage in romantic intimacy. Giving you nicknames like “pretty girl” or “my girl,” teasing you endlessly, making you laugh – all of these are subtle signals that he genuinely likes you and probably wants to date you.
8. He wants to know your insecurities on a deeper level and helps you accept them
When you like someone, you want them to be happy and secure in who they are. It is all too easy to get caught up in the web of insecurities and self-hatred, especially with questions of self-doubt like “Is he into me?” Feeling inadequate, like you aren’t enough, and that he deserves better than you are thoughts that can eat you up from the inside.
However, if a guy gives you time and space to open up and unveil your insecurities and then stays to help you overcome them, can there be a bigger green flag? He remember all the little details you tell him and consciously makes the effort to check in on you. If you feel secure enough to be the worst (not abusive) version of yourself in front of the guy you like and have him accept you regardless, you can definitely put your doubts about his affections to rest.
9. Is he seeing other girls?
How to know if a guy likes you? See if he has any other romantic interests, or if he still talks to people from his past relationships. If he does, then there is a good chance he is not serious about you. But if he is not involved with anyone, then it is a classic sign that something could be brewing between the two of you.
When a guy is genuinely attracted to you, he wants to make sure that you know (albeit in a roundabout way) that you’re the only person who captures his attention. If you never see him talk about his attractions in conversations with you, and if he never pays attention to potential romantic candidates who come up to him, then trust us – you don’t need to worry about the ‘how do I know he likes me back’ conundrum at all.
Related Reading: 21 Signs He Wants You To Notice Him REALLY BADLY
10. He is protective of you
In ancient times, men were supposed to be the brave protectors and women soft and nurturing. We have definitely come a long way from the archaic gender associations (hello feminism!) but if there is one thing that hasn’t changed, it is the male tendency to protect that which he deems precious. A guy showing that he is protective of you (and therefore, likes you) manifests in small ways.
Rosa, a reader who has been in a relationship for 2.5 years, shares, “Moving me away from traffic when we were walking on the road, helping me out with tasks like carrying heavy stuff, making sure that I eat on time – these are some of the things my partner would do for me when we were friends. It used to make me wonder – Does he like me or is he just being nice? So one day, I asked him head-on. And here we are!” If your guy has been doing little things for you that he doesn’t for anyone else, it may just be more than chivalry.
11. He tries to look his best around you to make a good impression
According to evolutionary psychology theories, we often want to appear our best, most irresistible, selves in order to entice possible romantic partners into pursuing a relationship with us. It dates back to ancient times when evolution and continuing the human race was the sole priority of procreation but in today’s times, this action is a foolproof sign he finds you irresistible.
Weston, now married to his husband of 2 years, shares with us, “When we were just friends, he would come to meet me in shorts and his raggiest, most comfortable t-shirt. He never cared for fashion until he started liking me romantically.” He laughs, and adds, “So huge was the contrast in the way he dressed up for me after he caught feelings, that I was forced to wonder if he liked me back. He finally confessed one day. The silly goof!”
- His dressing style has changed: Has he started dressing a little bit edgier, or is trying to incorporate more fashion trends in how he looks?
- He has been shopping: From his watch to his belt to his shoes — he does not seem to be repeating clothes anymore and everything looks fresh off the rack
- He is more put together: Even if you two are just heading out for an ice cream run, you notice how he removes his eyeglasses to put on contact lenses for you and there is mousse in his hair
So the next time you’re with a guy, try to see if he’s making an effort to look nicer for you or seem cooler, friendlier, smarter, or funnier. These tiny indicators can help you find your answer.
12. He makes you smile or laugh to get your attention
A study compared flirting styles and behaviors. According to it, traditional male flirts usually exhibit assertive and open behavior, and engaging and teasing behaviors are displayed by the more playful flirts. Playful flirts don’t take flirting too seriously and their main agenda is to have fun in the process. Their behavior includes cracking jokes to make you notice them, trying to catch your eye in some goofy way, essentially making you laugh and realize the amount of fun you have with them around.
Traditional male flirts keep their intentions clear when it comes to sending you signals about liking you. They tend to be well-dressed for you and make sure you know that they are in it for some sort of commitment. TikTok has endless videos on ‘classic signs a guy likes you’ where guys reveal what they do when they like someone, and making you smile or laugh is at the top. Guys love it when the person they are into is happy – and if the reason is them, even better. If he’s not afraid of acting silly to get a laugh from you, know that he is love-struck and it’s just a matter of time before a confession comes your way.
13. A good sign is that he talks to his friends about you
Friendships are ride-or-die, especially when your friends are people whom you’d trust with your life. Whenever you have news, your friends are definitely the first people you want to go and share your news with. You can trust them to always be happy for you (even if they tease you mercilessly).
So, you might find out from somewhere (*cough* mutual friends *cough*) that a guy you think is a great catch, talked to his friends about you. This can help clear up so many of your doubts! You can trust him to be completely honest with his closest friends. If he is talking about you with others, there is a good chance he sees you more than just a friend.
14. He replies quickly to you
I once dated a guy who would never text me first. He couldn’t even be bothered to reply to my texts on time. His reason? I’d give you one but he changed them so much that they kept blurring after one point. I hated it. I was giving too much in the relationship and getting nothing back. It made me feel like the basic communication that I expected from him was ‘too much’ as well. This created resentment and doubts along the lines of “Does he like me or is it in my head?” that ultimately led to our breakup.
The guy I dated after him was the complete opposite. He would reply to my texts so quickly it made me feel unsettled and even confused. Not only that, he’d text me first and voluntarily share the happenings of his day. After the relationship I had before, this was a completely new arena and it made me feel confused as well as cherished. This was a relationship where I didn’t need to beg for attention, where I was a priority, and he made sure that he let me know it.
This is a huge indication of a man’s affection for you. Answering your text quickly, prioritizing his communication with you even when the two of you aren’t together, and not making you feel like you’re unimportant in his life, it all goes a long way to assure you that he likes you back.
15. He stays off his phone when he is with you
In the 21st century, when phones and social media are everything, parting from your mobile for even a short period of time seems like an unrealistic expectation. Everyone is updating moments of their life, and we are either one of them or we are the consumers on the other side of the screen.
Finding someone who prefers talking to your face instead of constantly hopping onto their social media accounts is a rarity. And if you find someone who actually sets his phone aside for the entire duration that you are with them, it just proves how much they prefer your company. Staying off his phone to spend time with you is a legitimate reason to vanquish the “How do I know he likes me back?” doubt from your mind.
16. He remembers little things about you
Of the five types of love languages, dating someone whose love language is gift-giving is perhaps my favorite. Probably because gift-receiving is how I express love in my own way. Nothing beats that good feeling of being handed a box wrapped in shiny wrapping paper, tearing it open, and realizing that you have been given something that you have wanted forever.
Having the guy you like remember your little quirks goes a long way toward cementing affections. Barb, a 25-year-old freelance designer, shares with us, “I really liked my friend, Seth. I used to wonder if he liked me back. I remember instances when I was late for class and missed my daily caffeine intake only to find him waiting for me with an extra cup of coffee outside class. Or when I would be making notes and not paying attention, until later, when I’d realize that he kept handing me the right colored pen I needed for each subheading. These are small instances that warmed my heart and made me realize he likes me too.”
Do you have a Seth in your life that does nice things for you? If you do, then he’s a keeper. His love language might not be gift-giving, but it could be acts of service which makes him so devoted to you.
17. He gives you special attention around his friends
Getting you to hang out with his friends is a big step in any budding romance. However, if you are still at the “Does he actually like me back?” stage, one thing that you can do is observe how he treats you around his friends and how his friends act around you.
If they like you, you’ll see them tease him about you or find them telling you embarrassing stories about him. These are indications that they approve of you for their friend. Also, if you see him bringing you into conversations around his friends, being comfortable with having you around them, or finding ways to have subtle physical contact with you (like casually slinging his arm around your shoulders, maintaining considerable eye contact, etc.), you can ease your apprehension. Trust me, he likes you back.
- Understanding guys and their emotions is hard, especially when you’re trying to understand if a man likes you
- Noticing his language and behavior around you can help you answer the “Does he like me back” conundrum
- To identify if he likes you, see if he initiates conversations with you all the time, tells about you to his friends, pays attention and listens well, and does cute little things for you
Determining whether someone likes you back can be an exhausting endeavor, especially when you cannot just go up to them and ask. However, knowing there are clear signs of someone’s affections toward you definitely helps a lot. You don’t need a dating coach to figure these things out.
Instead of giving in to the fears of rejection and uncertainty, and never finding out what could have been, own your self-worth, accept your inner confident spirit, arm yourself with these 17 tips, and find out whether he likes you back. It would save you a lot of heartbreak and regret in the future and help you ascend to a happier, more fulfilled version of yourself.
This article was updated in July 2023.