Seeing signs your husband is having an emotional affair? As distressing as it may be, it is essential that you confirm the same before jumping to any massive conclusions. Cheating and infidelity are growing all too common these days. But with counseling and the right approach, it is possible to navigate these hurdles.
The rampant increase in emotional affairs is a sign that most couples have something lacking in their marriages. The success of any relationship depends not only on physical intimacy but also on emotional support and stability. However, in today’s hustle-bustle of life, married couples are forgetting this essential fact, as a result of which emotional infidelity is becoming a rampant phenomenon.
Statistics show that couples who are in their 20s are likely to fall prey to emotional cheating, which is not actually viewed as real cheating. The workplace is the breeding ground for around 60% of affairs, whether physical or emotional.
What Is An Emotional Affair?
It is really difficult to differentiate between physical and emotional affairs because the former might lead to the latter and vice versa. In simple terms, an emotional affair would be an intimate relationship between two people which does not necessarily involve physical intimacy but is based on a heart-to-heart connection. This would not seem wrong to many because in a marriage there is an unsaid expectation of both spouses turning to each other for emotional support instead of an outside person. Married couples are supposed to be there for each other in good times or bad times. And this is why emotional affairs are also viewed as ‘cheating’ in a marriage.
If you are curious as to how emotional affairs start or want to know more about emotional cheating psychology, then here is a snippet of the stages an emotional affair usually goes through-
- Friendship: First, the two people become friends and get to know about each other
- Spending more time: After that, they start hanging out together and share every detail about their lives with each other
- Neglecting their married life: Later, they start focusing on this newly formed relationship and start checking out of their married life
- Becoming completely invested in the new relationship: Ultimately, they get invested in this relationship, which can have terrible repercussions for their married life
Is it common to see signs of emotional affair at work?
‘Common’ is the perfect term to describe the frequency of seeing signs of emotional affair at work. As spouses or partners get to spend quality time with each other only during the weekends, the workplace becomes the perfect ground for attachments as coworkers bond over work challenges, gossip and get-togethers. Yes, office romances are far more common than you think.
The work environment is generally extremely social and one gets to meet a lot of different people. Along with that, it is stressful and having someone to share work-related tension, memories and ideas with feels worthwhile. This someone is usually not the partner because you two get to meet in the evening only. Add some family responsibilities into the equation and the chance of sharing the day goes out of the window.
But, as humans, we need to feel loved, appreciated and cared for, every day, every time. So you turn to this person to share trivial office gossip, and slowly, without you even realizing it, he or she becomes an important part of your life.
Sometimes, you start enjoying your workplace because of this one person and do not even get to know that you are having an emotional affair. However, boundaries should not be crossed and work relationships should remain appropriate. Instead of being a seedbed for emotional affairs among married couples, workplaces should become the ground for long-lasting and genuine friendships.
Related Reading: Consensual Love In The Workplace: You Could Be Disregarding Consent Without Even Knowing It
10 Signs Husband Is Having An Emotional Affair
As mentioned earlier, an emotional affair has to do with the connection of two hearts. This means once a person gets involved in it, he/she finds it hard to let go. Emotional infidelity is sneaky, difficult to comprehend and resolve. Because of this, emotional affairs are more cruel and disturbing. Since this form of cheating leads to a violation of mutual support and trust among married couples, it can actually prove fatal for a marital bond.
Though exciting and adventurous, emotional infidelity still counts as ‘cheating’. It could also be that your partner is involved in an emotional affair and does not even know it. He or she may be addicted to this one person, and may still think of the whole episode as a case of ‘harmless flirting’ because the physical aspect is not yet involved. If you are seeing signs of emotional affair in your partner, then here is a checklist of certain signs which will help make up your mind.
1. Secrecy envelops your relationship
Looking for signs your husband is having an emotional affair? Then watch out for this one closely. Are you two keeping more secrets from each other? Is your husband getting more and more guarded around his phone?
This basically means your husband adopts measures to preserve his privacy, which he never did earlier. He will stop sharing details about his day with you, will hide his phone and passwords from you, and so on. He may move out of the room to take calls and could be seen texting in the dead of the night. These signs of emotional affair can be harrowing but cannot afford to be overlooked.
2. Criticizing you or putting you down becomes his regular habit
It is in a healthy relationship where both partners criticize each other and do so to help each other improve and become better versions of themselves. Yet, there is a fine line there. When the criticism becomes frequent, then there is something wrong for sure.
Is he constantly nagging you about the way you talk? Does he often dislike most of the outfits you put on and criticize your shopping habits? If this is a new routine with him, then it could be one of the signs husband is having an emotional affair.
3. Your husband becomes extremely addicted to social media
All of a sudden, if your husband starts using social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat endlessly, then you have reasons for doubting him. The logic behind this would be that he would use social media to remain in contact with the other person at all times.
Maybe he didn’t care much for Messenger before but now his bright green ‘online’ sticker seems to perpetually stay. Who is he talking to?
Related Reading: Technology And Relationships: Is Love Getting Better With Tech?
4. His day does not end without mentioning the other person
How to know if your husband is having an emotional affair? Consider the following scenario. So you two are talking about something and your husband keeps on mentioning how his friend did something fabulous or looked great. He may not bring up their name but will also not be able to stop talking about that person.
Clearly, there’s a new person in his life that he is completely enamored by. But he also won’t tell you everything about them or introduce them to you. These signs an emotional affair is in the making rank high among men who have recently started cheating on their wives.
5. He becomes more protective when it comes to the other person
Looking for signs husband is having an emotional affair? Then check for this one. If you or anyone else happens to mention the other person in a bad light, then your husband will take her side and be extra protective about her. He may even go to the extent of helping her more than once, and more than required.
This is what Sheila, a homemaker whose husband Nelson had been cheating on her, told us. She said, “My husband is having an emotional affair with a woman from his workplace, Nicole. Every time I bring Nicole up, my husband seems to become extra defensive of her.”
6. Comparing you to the other person without second thoughts
As a partner, you expect your husband to accept you completely and love you for who you are. However, if you find that your husband fails to do so and keeps comparing you to the other person, then it is a cause for concern. Such emotional cheating signs are inflammatory to your relationship.
Not only is it demeaning to you but it is also a suggestion that your marriage is on the rocks. Clearly, your husband is unafraid to put you down, which means that his other relationship is growing to be serious.
Related Reading: How To Forgive Yourself For Cheating And Not Telling – 8 Helpful Tips
7. Your husband develops novel interests behind your back
With such signs husband is having an emotional affair, you definitely have a reason to worry. Perhaps he used to enjoy spending Sundays lounging at home. Suddenly, he’s got a new habit of playing golf every Sunday morning. If this seems off-brand for him, this should give you an advance warning that your husband is developing novel interests on the suggestions of the other person.
8. His opinions change drastically
One of the bigger emotional cheating signs is if he suddenly has new opinions and takes on things he used to feel differently about. As the closest person to your husband, you would obviously be aware of his opinions and perspectives on most things.
Any drastic change in his opinions would definitely be due to the undue influence of the other person in his life. She’s bringing new ideas to the table that he’s adopting in his life.
9. Your husband’s appearance transforms
Lauren had suspected Ricardo of cheating for a long time. She noticed he was now paying extra attention to his looks and outfits. She said, “My husband is having an emotional affair, there is no denying it. He’s suddenly got a new arsenal of colognes and shoes. He didn’t care much about these things at first. He’s definitely trying to impress someone.”
That same way, you will also notice your husband changing his clothing style and trying out new grooming tips. He may be giving more attention to his looks and may even try shedding those extra pounds too. Such signs of emotional affair are hard to avoid.
10. Physical intimacy between the two of you becomes negligible
One of the biggest signs your husband is having an emotional affair is this. Are your efforts to be intimate with your husband failing daily? Does he tend to spend more time hooked onto the TV or his mobile? Is he hesitant to get intimate with you? If yes, then there is a high chance he is having an emotional affair with someone.
The moment you feel that your relationship might be the victim of an emotional affair, you must keep your calm. Approach your husband and try to sort it out as two rational human beings. Even give your husband the benefit of doubt because he is the person you have chosen to spend your entire life with.
Do not give up and strive to save your marriage from a phenomenon as devastating as an emotional affair. Even with all these signs of emotional affair, it is important that you hear him out before taking any drastic steps.
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