The rampant increase in emotional affairs is a sign that most couples have something lacking in their marriages. Success of any relationship depends not only on physical intimacy but also on emotional support and stability. However, in today’s hustle bustle of life, married couples are forgetting this essential fact, as a result of which emotional infidelity is becoming a rampant phenomenon.
Statistics show that couples who are in their 20s are likely to fall prey to emotional cheating, which is not actually viewed as real cheating. The workplace is the breeding ground for around 60% of affairs, whether physical or emotional.
What is an emotional affair?
It is really difficult to differentiate between physical and emotional affairs, because the former might lead to the latter and vice versa. In simple terms, an emotional affair would be an intimate relationship between two people which does not necessarily involve physical intimacy but has to do with heart-to-heart connection. This would not seem wrong to many, but in a marriage, emotional support should be received from the spouse instead of an outside person. Married couples are supposed to be there for each other in good times or bad times. And this is why, emotional affairs are also viewed as ‘cheating’ in marriage.
If you are curious as to how emotional affairs start, then here is a snippet of the stages an emotional affair usually goes through-
- First, the two people become friends and get to know about each other
- After that, they start hanging out together and share every detail about their lives with each other
- Later, they start focusing on this newly formed relationship and start checking out of their married life
- Ultimately, they get invested in this relationship, which ends the marriage terribly
Emotional affairs at work
‘Common’ is the perfect term to describe the frequency of emotional affairs at work. As spouses and lovers get to spend quaility time with each other only during the weekends, work place becomes the perfect ground for attachments as co-workers bond over work challenges, gossip and get-togethers. Work environment is extremely social and one gets to meet a lot of different people. Along with that, it is stressful and having someone to share work related tension, memories and ideas with is worthwhile. This someone is usually not the partner because you two get to meet in the evening only. Add some family responsibilities into the equation and the chance of sharing the day goes out of the window.
But, as humans, we need to feel loved, appreciated and cared for, everyday, everytime.
So you turn to this person to share trivial office gossip, and slowly, without you even realising it, he or she becomes a important part of your life.
Sometimes, you start enjoying your workplace because of this one person, and do not even get to know that you are having an emotional affair.
However, boundaries should not be crossed and work relationships should remain appropriate. Instead of being a seedbed for emotional affairs among married couples, workplaces should become the ground for long-lasting and genuine friendships.
Why are emotional affairs more hurtful?
As mentioned earlier, an emotional affair has to do with the connection of two hearts. This means once a person gets involved in it, he/she finds it hard to let go. Emotional infidelity is sneaky, difficult to comprehend and resolve. Because of this, emotional affairs are more cruel and disturbing. Since this form of cheating leads to violation of mutual support and trust among married couples, it is actually fatal.
10 signs your husband is having an emotional affair
Though exciting and adventurous, emotional infidelity still counts as ‘cheating’. It could also be that your partner is involved in an emotional affair and does not even know it. He or she may be addicted to this one person, and thinking of whole episode as a case of ‘harmless flirting‘ , because the physical aspect is not yet involved. If you suspect that your spouse is involved in an emotional affair, then here is a checklist of certain signs which will help make up your mind.
1. Secrecy envelops your relationship
This basically means your husband adopts measures to preserve his privacy, which he never did earlier. He will stop sharing details about his day with you; will hide his phone and passwords from you and so on. He may move out of the room to take calls and could be seen texting in the dead of the night.
2. Criticising you or putting you down becomes his regular habit
It is a healthy relationship when both partners criticise each other and help each other improve. But when the criticism becomes frequent, then there is something wrong for sure.
3. Your husband becomes extremely addicted to social media
All of a sudden, if your husband starts utilising social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc. endlessly then you have reasons for doubting him. The logic behind this would be that he would use social media to remain in contact with the other person at all times.
4. His day does not end without mentioning the other person
So you are talking sbout something and your husband keeps on mentioning how his friend did something fabulous or looked great. Instead of mentioning the other person’s name at times, you will notice that your husband will keep mentioning it again and again.
5. He becomes protective when it comes to the other person
If you or anyone else happens to mention the other person in a bad light then your husband will take her side and be extra protective about her. He may even go the extent of helping her more than once, and more than required.
6. Comparing you to the other person without second thoughts
As a partner, you expect your husband to accept you completely. However, if you find that your husband fails to do so and keeps comparing you to the other person, then it is a cause for concern.
7. Your husband develops novel interests behind your back
This should give you an advance warning that your husband is developing novel interests on the suggestions of the other person.
8. His opinions change drastically
As the closest person to your husband, you would obviously be aware of his opinions. But any drastic change in his opinions would definitely be due to the undue influence of the other person in his life.
9. Your husband’s appearance transforms
You will notice your husband changing his clothing style and preferences or trying to become healthier. He may be giving more attention to his looks and may even try shunning those extra pounds too. Emotional infidelity can be the reason behind this.
10. Physical intimacy between the two of you becomes negligible
Are your efforts to be intimate with your husband failing daily? Does he tend to spend more time hooked onto the TV or his mobile? Is he hesitant to get intimate with you? If yes, then there is a high chance he is having an emotional affair with someone.
The moment you feel that your relationship might be the victim of an emotional affair, you must keep calm. Approach your husband and try to sort it out as two rational human beings. Give your husband the benefit of doubt, because he is the person you have chosen to spend your entire life with. Do not give up and strive to save your marriage from such a devastating phenomenon like an emotional affair.