Marriages, like any other relationship, are not free from problems. But it is only when couples are unable to deal with these marriage problems that their relationships hit rock bottom. There are certain obvious signs which indicate that a marriage is on the rocks almost over. If you notice these signs, then you must take quick action to save your married life.
When does a marriage take a downturn?
It is essential to get a better definition of a marriage taking a downturn so that appropriate steps can be taken to protect the relationship. First of all, you both will become distant with each other and often get into useless arguments. Everything about the marriage will make you unhappy. The children become more important than the bond with your partner. You will definitely know your relationship is on the rocks when you start thinking about the prospect of getting separated from each other or perhaps regret your decision to get married.
15 signs your marriage is on the rocks and almost over
You might try to convince yourself that your marriage is not facing any issues and that every relationship goes through such ups and downs. However, we put forth 15 signs which should give you the signal that your marriage is beyond repair and is going to meet its imminent end.
1. You both become not only physically but also emotionally distant
Forget about showing your love by cuddling, hugging and kissing each other. You both even fail to be there for each other emotionally. Instead of sharing your feelings and supporting each other, you both become disconnected and fail to understand one another. It is because of the physical and emotional detachment that the marriage does not seem to be working out for you.
2. You both argue over silly things
Since you are not able to connect to your partner on an emotional level, arguments characterise your relationship. Instead of having healthy arguments and conflicts, you both start quarrelling over silly things. Infact, you keep on fighting over the same things. You seem to get irritated very easily and you fail to have any meaningful conversation with your loved one.
3. Sometimes you both do not argue at all
A relationship after marriage is able to survive only if the couple fights at times to let each other know their respective viewpoints. But if both of you do not argue at all and let things pass, then it is definitely one of the signs it is over. Remember, differences of opinions are extremely important for the growth of any relationship.
4. Both of you complain a lot
Married life is all about compromises and making sacrifices for each other. However, if both of you complain a lot and have the feeling that only you are making efforts to make the relationship work, then it means there is something definitely wrong. Instead of happily doing anything for each other, you both gain a tendency to grumble about your stressful marriage. Keep in mind that doing cost-benefit analysis is good for businesses, but not relationships.
5. You think about a life without your spouse
The moment you reach a phase in your married life when you think about a life without him/her even while daydreaming, then please pay heed to the warning. Deep in your heart you might actually know that your marriage is not working out, which is why you are conveniently imagining a life without your partner.
6. You get attracted to other people
Since you are genuinely not happy with your relationship, you will obviously find comfort with other people and might even get attracted to another person. And the fact that you are married and still attracted to someone else may make you feel guilty at first, but then the emotions overrule. When you start developing feelings for someone else apart from your husband/wife, then probably it is time to end your relationship and move on.
7. You find excuses to avoid going home
The prospect of going home to your spouse does not make you delighted and excited. Instead, you try to find excuses to avoid going home so that you do not have to face your partner. You prefer going out with friends or other family members than going home and spending time with your better half.
8. You both refuse to make things work
Living together and facing problems in your marriage has become so common, that both of you do not even make efforts to make things work. You both might have even lost the motivation to change certain things for the survival of the relationship. You tend to blame your partner for everything that is wrong in your life and vice versa. But no one takes the initiative to work things out.
9. You doubt whether your spouse is the right partner for you
If your marriage is on the rocks, then you will continuously think about your choice and perhaps regret your decision to get married to your spouse. The feelings towards your partner will also transform to such an extent that you will doubt whether he/she is the right one for you or not.
10. Secret-keeping characterises your relationship
Once both of you start keeping secrets from each other, it can mark the beginning of the destruction of your married life. If you start hiding things from your partner, especially on purpose, then it means you are no longer comfortable with him/her and there is a lack of trust in the relationship.
11. Sexual compatibility disappears between the two of you
You both do not have time for each other, because of which you both are unable to get sexually intimate. You may well be in a sexless marriage just for the heck of it. Even if both of you try to make love with each other, you both feel disappointed in the end, because you fail to satisfy each other’s sexual needs. Perhaps you find ways to avoid sexual encounters with your spouse, because you are no longer sexually attracted to him/her.
12. Both of you start leading your own separate lives
A relationship can grow and prosper only if both the partners are willing to be together and share wonderful experiences with each other. But if both of you start leading your own separate lives, pursuing your own interests and hobbies, enjoying your own social lives and ignoring your family life after marriage, then your relationship is doomed for sure. It is like you both have nothing in common any more.
13. Children become top priority in your lives
The equation between the couple changes for sure after children come into their lives. But the couple should know how to balance the needs of the kids as well as the intimacy of the relationship with the partner. Since children become top priority in your lives, you fail to give enough time to your better half, and in the end your relationship takes a downturn.
14. The relationship fails to foster individual growth
It is very essential that partners support and encourage each other to become better people. However, if you find yourself becoming jealous of the success of your partner and you fail to genuinely be happy for him/her, then perhaps your relationship is on the verge of collapsing. You as an individual are unable to grow due to such feelings, and even your spouse’s growth is inhibited due to lack of support from your side.
15. You try to create a façade
If you have to create a façade in front of other people that everything is fine, then it means your relationship is really not on the right track – but you stay in it for the sake of society. For example, you post pictures of your spouse on social media websites on a continuous basis because you are perhaps insecure about your relationship and what others think about it. Why would you have to pretend if you already had a healthy relationship?
The moment you realise that your marriage needs help, you must take all the efforts to approach a counsellor/therapist. However, if you find no solution to your marriage issues, then leaving each other would the best option for you instead of suffering. Go ahead and get a divorce from your spouse, but end the relationship on a good note.