Marriages, like any other relationship, are not free from problems. But it’s only when couples are unable to deal with these marriage problems that their relationship hits rock bottom. There are certain obvious signs which indicate that a marriage is on the rocks and almost over. If you notice these signs, then you must take quick action to save your marriage.
When Does A Marriage Take A Downturn?
15 Signs your marriage is on the rocks and almost over
1. You both become not only physically but also emotionally distant
The physical and emotional detachment makes you distant from each other. You feel like stangers in the same house.
2. You both argue over silly things
3. Sometimes you both do not argue at all
When do you know your marriage is on the rocks? When you don’t argue at all. A relationship after marriage is able to survive only if the couple fights at times to let each other know their respective viewpoints. But if both of you do not argue at all and let things pass, then it is definitely one of the signs it is over. Remember, differences of opinions are extremely important for the growth of any relationship. You can opt for marriage counselling to help you realise a few things.
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4. Both of you complain a lot
Married life is about being mindful of your spouse’s likes and dislikes and sometimes making sacrifices for each other. However, if both of you complain a lot and have the feeling that only you are making efforts to make the relationship work, then it means there is something definitely wrong. You still do things for each other but never with a happy heart. Instead, you grumble and complain about it. Doing a cost-benefit analysis is good for businesses, but not relationships. You have to do things for your partner without always expecting an equivalent in return.
5. You think about a life without your spouse
The moment you reach a phase in your married life when you start daydreaming about a life without your partner, it is a sign that your marriage is on the rocks. Deep in your heart, you might actually know that your marriage is not working out. This is why you often imagine how great a life without your husband/wife would be. This is the definition of a stressful marriage.
6. You get attracted to other people
When you start developing feelings for someone else apart from your husband/wife, then it’s probably time to end your relationship. Your marrige is definitely on the rocks.
Related Reading: 8 Things You Can Do If You Are In An Unhappy Marriage
7. You find excuses to avoid going home
The prospect of going home to your spouse does not excite you. Instead, you try to find excuses to avoid going home so that you do not have to face your partner. You prefer going out with friends or other family members rather than going home and spending time with your ‘better half’.
8. You both refuse to make things work
Living together and facing problems in your marriage has become so common that you don’t even make efforts to make things work anymore. You both seem to have lost the motivation to change certain things for the survival of the relationship. You tend to blame your partner for everything that is wrong in your life and vice versa. However, no one takes the initiative to work things out. Not wanting to make things work is one of the signs that it is over.
9. You doubt whether your spouse is the right partner for you
If your marriage is on the rocks, then you will continuously think about your choices and regret your decision to get married to your spouse. Your feelings towards your partner change and you begin to doubt if they are the right person for you. Constant second-guessing equals a stressed marriage.
10. Secret-keeping characterises your relationship
Once both of you start keeping secrets from each other, it is the beginning of the end of your married life. If you start hiding things from your partner, especially on purpose, then it means you are no longer comfortable with him/her. There is a lack of trust in the relationship. The institution of marriage functions on trust. If you feel like you can’t trust your partner, your marriage is on the rocks.
Related Reading: Should You Stay In An Unhappy Marriage With Kids?
11. Sexual compatibility disappears between the two of you
Perhaps you find ways to avoid sexual encounters with your spousebecause you are no longer sexually attracted to him/her.
12. Both of you start leading your own separate lives
A relationship can grow and prosper only if both partners are willing to share life experiences together. But if both of you start living lives that are mutually exclusive, it points towards a stressful marriage. You start pursuing your own interests and hobbies, enjoying your own social lives and ignoring your family life after marriage. It’s like you both have nothing in common any more. This is an absolute sign your marriage is over and you could be heading for a separation.
13. Children become the top priority in your lives
The equation between the couple changes after children come into their lives. But the couple should know how to balance the needs of the kids and the intimacy of the relationship with the partner. Once you start making the kids your only priority and ignoring your personal relationship, it is a grim sign. It’s easy to shift focus onto your kids and ignore your marriage problems. But how long do you think you can continue to live in this facade?
14. The relationship fails to foster individual growth
It is very essential that partners support and encourage each other to become better people. However, if you find yourself becoming jealous of your partner’s success then perhaps your relationship is on the verge of collapsing. You fail to genuinely be happy for him/her. You, as an individual, are unable to grow due to such feelings, and even your spouse’s growth is inhibited due to lack of support from your side.
15. You try to create a façade
For example, you feel the urge to post pictures of your spouse on social media. You do this because you are insecure about your relationship and what others think about it. Why would you have to pretend if you already had a healthy relationship?