Marriages, like any other relationship, are not free from problems. But it’s only when couples are unable to deal with these marriage problems that their relationship hits rock bottom. There are certain obvious signs which indicate that a marriage is on the rocks and almost over. If you notice these signs, then you must take quick action to save your marriage.
When Does A Marriage Take A Downturn?
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When is your marriage on the rocks? It is essential to get a rudimentary definition of a stressful marriage so that appropriate steps can be taken to protect the relationship.
You both will might distant with and often get into useless arguments. Everything about marriage will make you unhappy. The children become more important than the bond with your partner. You will definitely know your relationship is on the rocks when you start thinking about the prospect of getting separated. What to do when your marriage is on the rocks?
15 Signs your marriage is on the rocks and almost over
You might try to convince yourself that you're doing fine. That all marriages face issues and that every relationship goes through ups and downs. This is true to an extent but sometimes marriage problems go deeper than that
To help you identify if your marriage is at that stage, we put forth 15 signs that it is over. This should help you judge if your marriage is beyond repair and is going to meet its imminent end.
1. You both become not only physically but also emotionally distant
Forget about showing your love by cuddling, hugging and kissing each other. You both even fail to be there for each other even emotionally. Instead of sharing your feelings and supporting each other, you both become disconnected and fail to understand one another.
The physical and emotional detachment makes you distant from each other. You feel like stangers in the same house.
You don't seem t understand each other anymore neither are you interested to. This is the most tell-tale sign that your marriage is on the rocks
2. You both argue over silly things
Since you are not able to connect to your partner on an emotional level, arguments characterise your relationship. Instead of having healthy debates, you both start quarrelling over silly things. In fact, you keep on fighting over the same things. You are easily agitated and fail to have meaningful conversations with your spouse. It's as if a switch flipped and you just don't have the patience to deal with the other person anymore. The fights could be about anything from unpaid bills to sharing chores or even what to watch on TV. It starts small but snowballs into a big fight - almost always. This is an absolute sign your marriage is on the rocks.
When do you know your marriage is on the rocks? When you don’t argue at all. A relationship after marriage is able to survive only if the couple fights at times to let each other know their respective viewpoints. But if both of you do not argue at all and let things pass, then it is definitely one of the signs it is over. Remember, differences of opinions are extremely important for the growth of any relationship. You can opt for marriage counselling to help you realise a few things.
Married life is about being mindful of your spouse’s likes and dislikes and sometimes making sacrifices for each other. However, if both of you complain a lot and have the feeling that only you are making efforts to make the relationship work, then it means there is something definitely wrong. You still do things for each other but never with a happy heart. Instead, you grumble and complain about it. Doing a cost-benefit analysis is good for businesses, but not relationships. You have to do things for your partner without always expecting an equivalent in return.
5. You think about a life without your spouse
The moment you reach a phase in your married life when you start daydreaming about a life without your partner, it is a sign that your marriage is on the rocks. Deep in your heart, you might actually know that your marriage is not working out. This is why you often imagine how great a life without your husband/wife would be. This is the definition of a stressful marriage.
6. You get attracted to other people
Since you are genuinely not happy with your relationship, you will obviously find comfort with other people. You might even find yourself getting attracted to another person. The fact that you are married and still attracted to someone else may make you feel guilty at first, but later your desires overrule the guilt.
When you start developing feelings for someone else apart from your husband/wife, then it's probably time to end your relationship. Your marrige is definitely on the rocks.
The prospect of going home to your spouse does not excite you. Instead, you try to find excuses to avoid going home so that you do not have to face your partner. You prefer going out with friends or other family members rather than going home and spending time with your ‘better half’.
8. You both refuse to make things work
Living together and facing problems in your marriage has become so common that you don’t even make efforts to make things work anymore. You both seem to have lost the motivation to change certain things for the survival of the relationship. You tend to blame your partner for everything that is wrong in your life and vice versa. However, no one takes the initiative to work things out. Not wanting to make things work is one of the signs that it is over.
9. You doubt whether your spouse is the right partner for you
If your marriage is on the rocks, then you will continuously think about your choices and regret your decision to get married to your spouse. Your feelings towards your partner change and you begin to doubt if they are the right person for you. Constant second-guessing equals a stressed marriage.
10. Secret-keeping characterises your relationship
Once both of you start keeping secrets from each other, it is the beginning of the end of your married life. If you start hiding things from your partner, especially on purpose, then it means you are no longer comfortable with him/her. There is a lack of trust in the relationship. The institution of marriage functions on trust. If you feel like you can’t trust your partner, your marriage is on the rocks.
11. Sexual compatibility disappears between the two of you
You both do not have time for each other, because of which you both are unable to get sexually intimate. You may as well be in a sexless marriage. Even if both of you try to make love with each other, it leaves you both disappointed in the end, because you fail to satisfy each other's sexual needs. Maybe it's even mercy sex from one partner's view.
Perhaps you find ways to avoid sexual encounters with your spousebecause you are no longer sexually attracted to him/her.
12. Both of you start leading your own separate lives
A relationship can grow and prosper only if both partners are willing to share life experiences together. But if both of you start living lives that are mutually exclusive, it points towards a stressful marriage. You start pursuing your own interests and hobbies, enjoying your own social lives and ignoring your family life after marriage. It’s like you both have nothing in common any more. This is an absolute sign your marriage is over and you could be heading for a separation.
13. Children become the top priority in your lives
The equation between the couple changes after children come into their lives. But the couple should know how to balance the needs of the kids and the intimacy of the relationship with the partner. Once you start making the kids your only priority and ignoring your personal relationship, it is a grim sign. It’s easy to shift focus onto your kids and ignore your marriage problems. But how long do you think you can continue to live in this facade?
14. The relationship fails to foster individual growth
It is very essential that partners support and encourage each other to become better people. However, if you find yourself becoming jealous of your partner’s success then perhaps your relationship is on the verge of collapsing. You fail to genuinely be happy for him/her. You, as an individual, are unable to grow due to such feelings, and even your spouse’s growth is inhibited due to lack of support from your side.
15. You try to create a façade
You feel like you're in a play, pretending everything is alright. Especially when you are around other people and have to act like a happy couple. If you have to create a façade in front of other people, then it means your relationship is really not on the right track.For example, you feel the urge to post pictures of your spouse on social media. You do this because you are insecure about your relationship and what others think about it. Why would you have to pretend if you already had a healthy relationship?
The moment you realise that your marriage needs help, you must look at the options that you have. You can either throw yourself into taking all the efforts to make things work and approach a counsellor/therapist. Or, if you feel like there is nothing left for you in this marriage anymore, head for a separation. Leaving each other to live happier lives would be the better option for you instead of suffering. Go ahead and get a divorce from your spouse, but try to end the relationship on a good note
