12 signs your husband is having sex outside the marriage

Swati S
husband having an affair

Marriage is believed to be a sacred institution in India. It is believed to be a holy union of two individuals to share their lives and have a family. A couple vows to live together until death. But we live in the real-world where cheating, heartbreaks and adultery is very real. And there are physical signs if your husband is sleeping with someone else.

A survey conducted by Ashley Madison, a global dating website, concluded that infidelity is not uncommon and largely an accepted practice among married couples and people who are in a committed relationship. The findings are truly surprising. Statistically, of nearly 75,000 plus people surveyed, 80% were married. It was found that 81% of men and 68% of women think that infidelity has a positive effect on their relationship with their spouse.
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There has been an immense shift in the way we think as a society. Many feel that life is short and they should have fun. Some people get bored with their partners and some just want to explore and score. This could be a very short-sighted approach where the person is neither satisfied nor is certain of what they are doing. In a scenario like this, how can you tell if your husband has slept with another woman?

12 Ways To Know If Your Husband Is Having Sex Outside The Marriage

Though adultery is common, I do not suggest you doubt your man all the time. it is possible that your husband is sleeping with some other woman and these are just some of the signs that indicate so but they are not a guaranteed way of knowing. How can you tell if your husband has slept with another woman? If you have noticed your husband act strangely and you have been having some arguments lately, or there are negative reactions from him all the time, you should try to figure what is causing the crack and making your relationship break down. You have to find out what is happening and confront him. Your husband could be sleeping with someone else.

Make sure you evaluate all facets of the situation. It could also be that he is tired of your crabby behaviour or is simply hurt by something you did or said that pushed him to look for support outside the marriage.
Standby lover understands you better than your boyfriend.
Here is a pick of a few clues that might help you to decide whether he is drifting apart or cheating on you by having sex with another woman. This is how you can know if your husband has slept with another woman.

1. He is unusually busy

This could be one of the clues that he is in an extramarital affair. If generally, he gives you time and of late you find him acting busy this is a cause for concern. It is better to be cautious before the lion leaves the den. If you notice he is suddenly traveling more than usual for office work with no other professional developments, it could mean that not all of his trips are business-related. If you find that when he returns after long periods of time and is not excited to take you to bed and make love to you, it’s a signal he has been getting his sexual satisfaction from somewhere else. This could be as serious as going to a brothel to meet his physical needs. This is an absolute sign he is sleeping with someone else.

always busy husband

Having a busy husband Image source

2. Frequent nights out

How can you tell if your husband is sleeping with another woman? Well, if your man is not the kind who has a lot of friends and goes partying with them often without you but suddenly wants to go out clubbing every few days, there could be something fishy going on. Has he started to come home late every day with the excuse of some friend of the other? Try finding out who these friends are. If he takes different names and never introduces you to them, then it is a sign that he may be spending that time with the other woman.

Related Reading: My husband is openly having an affair

3. Started hiding things

If you find your man hiding things, lying, and being secretive or not talking much, maybe he is having an affair; unless there is a birthday or an anniversary around the corner. Otherwise, he is being secretive to avoid spilling the beans. This could also mean that he suddenly doesn’t confide in you about things he normally would or does not speak to you as much to satisfy his emotional needs.

We know of a woman whose husband was caught having an affair and a few weeks prior to this she noticed that he no longer called her frequently or informed her of his whereabouts. She also said he always had vague reasoning and never gave exact details of where he was.

4. Too much into his phone texting

If your husband is suddenly addicted to his phone and you constantly find him texting, it could mean that he is speaking with another woman. You are, therefore, advised to check his messages and call history from unknown numbers. If he is smart, he may be deleting all the messages. Or he is smart to save the number with some other name which you might not be able to figure out. Check out his social media accounts. He might be having multiple accounts. Another sign that he is texting another woman could be that he is now willing to part with his phone and doesn’t let you near it.

5. Grinning too much

If you feel like he is smiling too much or blushing after returning late in the evening or after answering a phone call, ask him what he is so happy about. He may not reveal anything much, but may also not be able to give you definite answers. If he is sleeping with someone else, he would come home in a jovial mood and you may catch him humming a song or two.

You may also check his wallet or pockets. You might find a bill for a restaurant or a hotel. This could be a warning sign for you. However, this may also count as intrusion so unless you feel something is going on, do not take this step as it could destroy the trust in your marriage.

We know of someone who walked out on her husband after finding a hotel booking in his email and this turned out to be for a relative. Before taking any drastic steps please ensure you have all the facts.

Related Reading:Her SMS To Me Revealed My Husband’s Extra Marital Affair

6. Talking on the phone privately

If you find him speaking on phone with somebody in privacy and he suddenly ends the conversation as you walk into the room, be careful; he might have found a new love interest. Whenever he takes a call in private, try to notice if he is talking to another woman and what he is talking about.

7. Smelling different

Your husband may be coming back from work and smelling different and fresh. After a day at work, he should be sweaty and tired, not fresh out of the bath! There is a chance that he was with someone and took a bath to get the scent of the other person off. If your husband has been sleeping around, he would surely be very vigilant so he doesn’t get caught. Be cautious if you smell a new fragrance of soap/shampoo or even perfume. You have all the right to question him in this case.

8. Takes a shower as soon as he is home

If he has slept with someone other than you, he would be eager to take a shower and feel fresh so you don’t catch any feminine smell on him. He may also rush to the bathroom to ensure there are no lipstick marks, love bites, or any other signs that indicate his proximity to another woman. However, to be sure that he is heading for the shower because he is trying to avoid getting caught, give him a hug and a kiss as soon as he is home. If he hesitates, you know why!

Related Reading: Why she is happy for her husband to have affairs outside their marriage, even though they love each other

9. Trying new things in bed

If your guy is trying to do things differently in bed and is being over-enthusiastic, there is a chance that he is trying things out with someone else. Perhaps you are not the kinky one so he is living in fantasies with someone else. He may also be trying to cover himself by giving you the best time in bed – if he was not like this before. Additionally, he may have hot sex with you and imagine being with someone else. These are physical signs that your husband is sleeping with someone else. Nevertheless, sometimes husbands initiate kinkier sex to spice up the marriage so this is a tricky sign.

experimenting with sex

Trying new things in bed Image Source

10. A sudden increase in bills

If you notice his credit card bills have increased when the household expenses are still the same, it is a sign that some money is being spent in places it shouldn’t be. If he is having an affair, he may be spending money on restaurants and hotels and buying expensive gifts for his new-found love. Keep an eye on the bills and take a print out as proof when you have a serious discussion with him so you have something concrete to confront him with. Make sure you wait to observe a pattern.

11. Lipstick stains/marks

This is a clear clue something is wrong. If he is returning late after a long day at work and you find lipstick marks/stains on his clothes or elsewhere on his body, it can be safely said that he is having relations outside the marriage. And if you recognise the shades as definitely not yours, there are good chances of him having an affair. There’s no better way to know that he has slept with another woman.

Related Reading:I came home to find my husband and his lover, locked in an embrace, on my bed

12. Taking too much care of himself

How can you tell if your husband has slept with another woman? Your husband has found a new interest in fitness/sports and grooming himself. These could be signs that he is dating someone. A sudden change in hairstyle, or going from a clean-shaven look to beard or vice versa, which you might not like him doing. He may shop frequently and dress up, unlike his usual self. He may be trying new things to eat which he never did earlier. He may become conscious of what he is eating and look forward to going to the gym every day.
Perhaps he is trying to impress someone at a sports/fitness club.

All these clues are generic. If something of this sort is happening in your marriage, it is good to be wise, spend some time to evaluate whether your suspicion is right or not. Till you are sure and have enough proof, do not question your husband. If you have facts then do approach him with an open mind. Following him to a restaurant where he is meeting the other lady is a good idea to gather proof. Having a conversation as an adult might help you understand why he is doing so. Try to figure this out as a couple and do not jump to conclusions or start a fight. This will make him get defensive and he will not tell you the truth.

Related Reading: Surviving An Affair – 12 Steps To Reinstate Love And Trust In A Marriage

Why Would A Husband Cheat By Having Sex With Other Women?

Let’s understand what could be the possible reasons your husband might be cheating on you.

  • Men also need an emotional and physical support system as women do. If he gets it outside the marriage, he may be drawn to the other woman and eventually develop intimate relations with her. Most affairs start as emotional affairs
  • There could be unsettled resentments in the marriage and an effort to keep everyone happy in the family could be taking a toll on your man. He may look for happiness outside the marriage, and sex may just come naturally in the equation
  • You could be two different personalities and the initial charm may be slowly fading away. Differences might have given way to resentment and he seeks that excitement outside the home
  • He may be emotionally drifting apart and looking for support elsewhere

Now that does not mean that men always cheat, some do, some remain loyal till their last breath. It is wise to take stock of your marriage from time to time and keep healthy communication flowing so that you can sort out differences and work on your marriage.

If things go out of hand, then seek legal help. Good luck!

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1 comment

Jane Jane
Jane Jane May 22, 2020 - 5:55 am

My husband’s emotional return
Thanks to you priest manuka for what he has done for me! My husband stopped to fill out the divorce papers after I contacted him to help me stop the divorce with my husband and now things are much better now. As he said, the whole divorce process was canceled and the nasty woman who caused the problem in my marriage was fired by my husband and peace has been restored. Thank you for your help. [[email protected] com]

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