It is not uncommon to see wives waiting for their husbands to get back home after work. While many do have a routine that they follow, most of the men arrive late and then plop on the couch citing a bad day at work. Or he might have had a party with his friends. Once in a while, you may not mind it. But what if your husband usually starts to come home late? How can you make him come home fast without pushing it? What should you do if his long days are causing a rift in your marriage? Read on to know.
Why do husbands come home late often?
There could be a lot of reasons that makes your husband drop by the house just to catch some sleep. You may feel as if he is there only for half of the night, and rushes off in the morning. There will be no time to talk, and communication would take a huge backseat. Some probable reasons for your husband’s late nights could be-
1. Career could be a big reason
It is a hugely competitive world and he may be eyeing that promotion for quite some time now. It could be that he is honing his skills to get a better position or working overtime for some returns. If career is his reason of coming home late everyday, we’d suggest you support him, but also tell him that both his health and his family need time and he should take things lightly.
2. Friends can also make him stay away from home
Oftentimes, friends can make a man stay late. Another drink or another joke, anything can halt your husband’s steps towards his home. If it so happens that he gets late because he was out with his friends and one thing followed another, you need to remind him that he needs to priortise his family over his friends. You could say he can have a few days a month when he can hang with his friends, but he should not be getting home late because of them everyday.
3. Figure if he is addicted
If your husband stays out late binge drinking or smoking, because he is not allowed to do so at home, he might as well be addicted. If you think there is a repetition in his behaviour and inspite of reminders he continues to spend his money on his addictions, it may be wise to talk to a therapist and seek rehabilitation help.
Related reading: 10 ways to get your husband to quit smoking
4. He wants to escape talking to you
There might be a pending issue at home that requires some discussion, and he may avoid it altogether by coming home late in the dead of the night. He may be buying time to put his view across, or he may just not want to talk to you. However, this kind of behaviour will die soon as the issue resolves. In any case, when in a good mood, tell him it is not in the best interest of the relationship to escape communicating with each other – good or bad.
5. He does not want to share household chores
This one is a classic, isn’t it? Maybe it’s his duty to put the baby to sleep in the night, or do the dishes. If he doesn’t feel like doing it, it is convenient to come home late when the dishes are done and the baby is sound asleep. Reason it out, and if it still doesn’t work, put the baby to sleep and you sleep too; leaving the dirty dishes in the sink. Wicked, yes.
6. It could be another woman
Extramarital affairs are more common than you think. Just because your husband comes home late is not a huge sign that he is having an affair. If at all he is having another woman in his life, watch out for other signs which have been summed up in the related article. How you wish to take this blow in your stride is entirely upto you.
Related reading: Signs your husband is having an affair
What can you do if your husband comes home late?
There will be many instances when he will be late – work, parties, social get-togethers and the like. But since he is the centre of your world, it is natural to feel anxious and worried till he gets home. But if you are having a hard time because of your husband’s habitual latecoming, we suggest you work on the below tips to ease things for both of you.
1. Ask him upfront
The first rule to follow is to ask, and not to conclude. Understand what is making him late everyday – work, friends or something else. Then reason it out in a matured fashion – tell him how weak he looks because of all those hours at work. Or if its friends, ask him to cut meeting them down since you miss talking to him. Hopefully, this will yield results.
2. Make his time pleasant at home
Do you start cribbing about your in-laws the minute he is home? Or remind him umpteenth time how hard you work the entire day looking after the house and the kids? Stop! This will only make him want to stay away from the house for as long as he can. Men work hard in their offices too, and before you start complaining, let him atleast enjoy a cup of tea and a few tête-à-tête with his kids. Make his time pleasant when he is home, not regretful.
3. Do not nag him
If he is late, do not start to nag and accuse him right away. Do not shout, scream or create a nasty mess everytime he gets late. Do not nag him if he forgot to do something you wanted him to. Perhaps, you’d reminded him too. All in all, no one wants to come home to a nasty, nagging wife who is waiting with her weapons of accusations and tears. Stay calm and sane, and reason things like a matured adult.
4. Give him a few surprises
Every husband is different, but most would appreciate surprises! Surprise your man by treating his eyes in a body-hugging dress you bought an year ago, instead of the usual pyjama and tee with a bun and a tired face look. Make his favourite dinner once in a while and watch him go all lovey-dovey for you. Book a movie on Netflix and order in some popcorn. Most men would love to have some time off their routines and if it’s at home, who would want to stay late?
5. Send him love notes
Love notes can work wonders in reviving a relationship. If your has witnessed a storm over the last few days, you can instantly reclaim your love through love notes. A miss you text, a come home soon note in the lunch or a simple email telling him you are already waiting for him. Will make him smile ear to ear, and make you happy to see him home earlier than usual.
If you are having a hard time making your husband come home early, these tips will definitely help. Given the times of today, it is natural to worry about your man’s safety, but worrying only pushes logical reasoning away. Have a heart-to-heart discussion with him and LISTEN to him. You may get a hint or two as to why he gets late.
Be the reason he wishes to rush home. Skip the drama, and have a happy life.