Have you ever encountered this phenomenon where a relationship starts to disintegrate as soon as you realize that you’ve been steadily dating for 3 months? Everything is going so smoothly, you can’t seem to get enough of each other, and your partner is an angel sent from above. It begins to feel like destiny. And then WHAM! It all falls apart out of nowhere.
But why? You were so good together, then what happened? You sit with your closest people and talk about it. Only to realize that this keeps happening to you. Not only that. It seems all my friends keep going through this too, after dating someone for 3 months. You begin to wonder, did some vengeful God with a bad case of unrequited love curse all humankind? Let’s dig deeper and understand why a 3-month relationship is a milestone. And whether it really is cursed or not.
Why Is The Three-Month Milestone Important?
Relationships require effort and it is good to celebrate your relationship milestones. If for no other reason, then just to appreciate the fact that you got here despite the uphill climb. Yet, of all the occasions to celebrate, the 3-month relationship milestone should not be taken lightly. Now you must be wondering, when we enter a relationship, we want it to last forever, then why do the mere first 3 months of dating hold such import?
When you first start dating a person, it is safe to say, both you and your date are putting your best foot forward. One is careful not to grunt while laughing and the other is definitely holding in that fart. Even if that fart has accidentally slipped out, you are more understanding about it. However, when you have been dating for 3 months, around that time, the rose-tinted glasses begin to slip off.
During this phase of transition, you start finding flaws in your perfect relationship. The cute, little quirks turn into annoying habits. The individual conversation patterns become clearer and could create friction between the two people. You begin to find it difficult being immaculately dressed all the time. The hormones are beginning to balance out and reality kicks in.
If your relationship was superficial or was not built on a strong foundation, then it is around this time things will begin to go south. The wise thing is not to make any big decisions during the first 3 months of dating, and maybe even follow the 3-month dating rule.
What Is The 3-Month Rule In Dating?
This dating rule applies to both – couples who have been dating for three months, and couples who have recently broken up and are wondering what the healthy amount of time is to wait before getting back in the dating game. So, for those who are wondering what this mother of rules is, it is ‘the hold your horses’ rule.
1. The 3-month rule in relationships
To put it down in layperson’s terms, this rule asks you to wait for about 3 months. The first 3 months of dating can be very exciting, and it is very easy to confuse infatuation for love at this point. So, if it is your second date and you feel you have finally found the one you’ve been waiting for all your life and you have already started to picture your life with them, then it is time for you to step back and rethink everything.
2. The 3-month rule in sex
This rule also applies to sex. The idea is to get physically intimate with your partner after 3 months of dating. This ensures that the relationship you are building with your partner has a healthy amount of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connection.
3. The 3-month rule in breakups
The 3-month rule is also practised in the breakup scenario. It is advisable to wait three months post-breaking up with your partner before you start dating again. It is but natural that emotions run high after a breakup. It is a good idea to wait for these emotions to subside or return to normal and for you to heal before you start dating again.
All emotions, be it happiness, sadness, love, lust, pain, or anger, are by-products of certain hormones in our body. The reason 3 months hold so much importance is that this is ample time for the brain to regulate or even acclimatize itself to the surge of hormones. There is a huge chance that any decision made during this period is largely hormone-induced.
If you have been dating for 3 months, then you might soon notice some subtle changes in your relationship. Here are some things that happen when you are dating someone for 3 months.
Things To Expect As Your Relationship Passes 3 Months
Change is the only constant in life. So, it comes as no surprise that your relationship dynamics will also change with time. It is actually a good sign. After all, nothing is more caustic to a relationship than stagnancy. People evolve, and so should your relationship with them. Here are some signs that there is growth in your relationship.
1. You are beginning to relax around each other
The first thing that happens after 3 months of dating is that you begin to relax in each other’s company. No more covering your mouth while laughing because he might notice your crooked teeth. She has already seen the condition of your nails and knows you bite them when you are nervous. And neither of you apologize when you accidentally bump shoulders while walking next to each other.
By now, you are familiar with each other’s quirks and are even comfortable laughing them off. You and your partner know that you are not perfect. What is amazing is the realization that they find your imperfections just a regular part of you. They might not find these flaws adorable, but you are loved despite them.
2. Sanity begins to prevail
When you start a new relationship, there is this constant urge of wanting to be with that person. You want to hang out with them as often as possible. If you are not able to hang out all the time, then you find yourself constantly texting them. And if they don’t text for a while, then you find yourself checking the phone to see if you got a message. They are always on your mind, so understandably, some things like doing the laundry or getting the car washed do take a back seat.
Once you hit the 3-month relationship milestone, this urge for constant companionship mellows a bit. You can focus a bit more on the other aspects of your routine. You can stick to your priorities and maintain a little harmony in your life.
Related Reading: A Rundown On The 5 Stages Of A New Relationship
3. The true colors
According to psychology, a person can put on an act and remain in character for a maximum period of 3 months. Post which the façade begins to slip. It is completely normal for couples to put their best foot forth at the beginning of the relationship. However, if your partner is not compatible with you, or has some hidden agenda and is using you to fulfil these needs, then it is around the time when you reach the 3-month relationship mark that things will become apparent.
Whether your date is into you for your financial stability or whether they are not looking for something serious but are hanging around because they are getting laid – whatever their real reason for seeking you out, it will become more obvious when you have been dating for three months. You’ll be able to see their true colors.
4. There are going to be more arguments
No matter how compatible a relationship is, fights are inevitable. In the initial months, the fights, if any, are few and far between. But once a couple nears their 3-month relationship milestone, the frequency of arguments tends to increase. As a person begins to relax around their partner, their adorable quirks become a little annoying, and their flaws more obvious.
You might find it sweet that your partner feels comfortable enough to burp in front of you. But when they burp in front of everyone when you are introducing them to your family, that cute, little act becomes annoying pretty much right away. It’s not that love flies out the window after you hit the 3-month relationship milestone, but life happens simultaneously as well. And that cannot be ignored either.
5. You can create a level of balance
After 3 months of dating, you are at the fag end of the honeymoon phase of your relationship. This doesn’t mean the romance in the relationship dies out. Rather, you can set aside time for other important things in your life like your career, family, and your personal growth.
When you are dating for 3 months, you will notice there will be a slight shift in your priorities. You will realize that your relationship doesn’t seem to be as time-consuming as before. Chores get done, you can meet your deadlines, and even find time to go for your regular evening walk, while simultaneously spending quality time with your partner.
6. Feelings are going to get stronger
We already discussed that once you hit the 3-month relationship mark, the urge to spend each waking moment with your boo will subside and you will be able to compartmentalize better. But just because you have finally managed to get out of that constant loop of thinking about your special someone, doesn’t mean you are done with them. It’s actually the opposite.
When you have been dating for 3 months, the feeling of security comes in. You might not get butterflies every time you see them, or your heart might not skip a beat when you make eye contact but instead, you will get the warm feelings of familiarity and camaraderie. The connection between you two will get stronger as you start building emotional intimacy.
7. Your friends are in the picture
When we like a person, we want our friends and family to like them too. It is natural to wonder how well they will gel with our loved ones. If you do not have common friends in your circle, then when you are dating for three months, that’s about the time you will start meeting your date’s closest friends.
This is a good sign for your relationship. It means that your partner values your presence and hopes that this thing that you two have becomes more than a mere 3-month relationship.
Related Reading: Every Guy Has These 10 Types Of Friends
8. You are beginning to make plans for the future
Okay! Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. When we talk about the future here, we don’t mean marriage. Just because you have reached the 3-month relationship milestone doesn’t mean you are ready to get married. However, the thought that you are heading toward a serious relationship might have entered your mind.
When you are dating someone for 3 months, a sense of stability permeates the relationship. You will start taking each others’ opinions while making decisions. You might even start planning vacations and trips together, and be the plus one at family events or office parties. It will be the little things, but you will be there in the picture after steadily dating for 3 months.
9. The urge to make it official
If things are going well after 3 months of dating, then it is natural to want to take the relationship to the next level. You want to date your partner exclusively and work on the relationship together to see where it goes.
It is also quite possible that you are deeply in love with your partner and your confession is ever-present at the tip of your tongue. There is also a chance that you have accidentally spilt everything on a drunken night. Your urge to express your feelings grows drastically around 3 months of a relationship.
- After 3 months of dating romantic love wanes, but the companionship remains.
- There might be more arguments and friction in the relationship.
- If the relationship lasts beyond this period of turmoil, then there are chances the relationship will last.
Where dating is concerned, there is no fixed rule. Everyone takes a different amount of time to process and express feelings. So, the feelings you’re going through after 3 months – might happen to someone after 6 months of dating or even after a month of knowing someone. But in most relationships, things change after 3 months of dating.
In case you find your relationship going through the above changes around the 3-month mark, then you know it’s not a curse and you will come out of it stronger.
There is no fixed date for the relationship to be termed serious. Sometimes people can date casually for months and sometimes dating for a month has resulted in a relationship. That said, an average relationship can be considered serious when you have been dating for 3 months.
It takes 3 months for both you and your partner to understand what your core values are and whether you are compatible enough to go long-term with this relationship. If you continue dating even after this time frame, then there’s a huge chance that the relationship will last long.
People evolve so it is obvious that their relationships, too, will evolve. This is where the problems begin. The moment a relationship begins to transition, the couples involved are unable to gauge their situation and handle this change. The first time a relationship goes through transformation is around the 3-month duration.
After this time frame, the honeymoon phase of the relationship begins to die out. The couple is forced to face each other’s imperfections and analyze if they are compatible or not. This can make or break the relationship. This makes it one of the hardest time periods in a relationship.