What are Daddy Issues and how to identify them?
The origin of daddy issues, like all other tabooed sexual issues, goes back to Papa Freud. Though the coin “Electra Complex” was coined by sidekick Jung, in simple language, any woman having daddy issues will have a subconscious hook by which they attract or fall in love with men who typify all kinds of unresolved issues in their relationship with their own father, or rather a way by which they replicate a similar relationship which can fill up the void of an absent father or the lack of a relationship with a significant male person from their childhood.
Here are five signs that your woman has daddy issues.
Related reading: 15 signs YOU are being a clingy girlfriend
Sign 1: No concept of boundary
Not only do I mean sexual aggressiveness here, but a sense of individuation in such women may be absolutely lacking. You may find your girlfriend or spouse not only struggling to find her own space but continuously transgressing into your space. You have to understand that they are still not ‘adults’. And are stuck in their childhood stage of clinging to a parent, demanding attention, space and accommodation. As an adult, you may understand your boundaries and space, but she may have no awareness of any boundary (she’s still stuck in her 7-year-old time energy capsule). In fact, most of these women would feel guilty of laying down any boundary for themselves, because they’d feel they’re upsetting you by doing that, much like they’d upset their parent by retreating into an adult life where everyone exists as an individual.
Sign 2: Abject plea for validation
As I said, Daddy Issues are not simply about getting attracted to an older man, in order to replicate a childhood relationship, but also mostly about the ‘absence of a father’. This can even mean that the father existed but was never emotionally available. In such cases, you may find your girlfriend or spouse constantly hankering and bawling for attention and validation. Everything in her world is of value and worth only because you approve of it.
Everything in her world is of value and worth only because you approve of it.
Criticism of any sort may be taken over-emotionally. Sometimes followed by anger, crying and aggression, to the extent that you may have to amend a negative statement that you made earlier.
Sign 3: Crippling jealousy
Unrelenting jealousy and insecurity are classical signs of a woman who might be having daddy issues. This may also come with extreme clinginess and demand for attention. She may still be inhabiting her child body, where everything in her world is about fighting for attention from her father who is occasionally more attentive to the mother. That’s actually the root of Electra Complex. It’s the envy or the jealousy of a female child for her father in competition to her mother as a part of sexual development. And some women unfortunately may find themselves stuck in that stage and make life hell for their partners in adult life.
Related reading: Why men and women feel jealousy differently
Sign 4: Pathological fear of being single
This is almost addictive because such a phobia may drive a woman into serial dating and settling down with anyone who walks into their life. They cannot, I repeat, just cannot handle breakups, as they find them apocalyptic and damaging. They have to move on to another person. In many cases, they would keep going back to their ex and indulge with them physically, mentally and emotionally without any sense of self-respect or self-esteem. The fear of being single may drive them into an addictive cycle of losing their own sense of self, as they find it immensely difficult to be comfortable in the presence of their own company.
Sign 5: Constantly asks – Do you really love me?
Since everything in their world is motivated by fear and by a deep sense of threat and lose, that their partner may leave them any day and then they would have to survive alone, they need constant reassurance. As a child we are, of course, scared that in the absence of our parents we will die! Even when you first start going to school, you remember feeling a deep sense of fear and loss about what if mommy or daddy don’t come to see you or pick you up. It’s a crippling and debilitating thought for the child. But with time, as we grow up into singular beings, we are more comfortable with being by ourselves.
Certain times, in dysfunctional families and abusive marriages, because the child constantly witnesses violence and aggression from the father, they are trapped within that fear that ‘that’ experience may find repetition and because father didn’t love mother, the child has to constantly find some kind of reassurance that he (the quasi-father-partner) loves her and wouldn’t abandon her.