Maybe her father was an alcoholic, maybe he was abusive toward her mom. Perhaps he was strict to a fault, or was too busy at work to be emotionally available. Many women grow up with fathers who are unable to develop healthy relationships with them.
This inability to have a close relationship with the father creates all kinds of issues that she herself does not know of. A woman discovers their existence when she is trying to build a relationship with a man in adulthood. Hence, a woman is said to have daddy issues if she is trying to resolve the problems that were created in her childhood with her father through her other relationships as an adult.
What Are Daddy Issues In Women?
The origin of daddy issues, like all other tabooed sexual issues, goes back to Papa Freud. He said, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” When this need is not fulfilled, the emotional and cognitive development of a person goes awry.
In simple language, women having daddy issues have an unconscious hook by which they attract men who typify all kinds of unresolved issues in their relationship with their own father. The emotional baggage of the past is carried forward into their romantic life.
They replicate a similar relationship which can fill up the void of an absent father or the lack of a relationship with a significant male person from their childhood. Developing secure relationships is quite challenging for these women; attachment is not as simple or straightforward for them. Let’s take a look at these symptoms of daddy issues to understand the term better.
Symptoms Of Daddy Issues
There are always a few telltales of any problem. A woman struggling with daddy issues signs is bound to exhibit these:
- The first and foremost symptom of daddy issues is a woman’s inability to sustain a stable relationship. She is usually jumping from one man to another because of attachment problems that stem from her childhood.
- The woman has a tendency to like older men, and regularly falls for married men too. The end of these relationships is quite hurtful, leading to further mental turmoil.
- She wants attention and importance like a child, and is actually quite aggressive in bed. Many men like this aggressiveness and need for attention in the initial stages of the relationship, but it becomes tiring swiftly.
Do you resonate with these daddy issues symptoms? Now that you’ve identified your problem, let’s talk about it in more detail. We have to answer the question plaguing your mind: Do I have daddy issues? There are 5 signs you absolutely need to know; get ready for a few reality checks… the truth bombs are about to drop!
Related Reading: Oedipus Complex: Definition, Symptoms and Treatment
5 Signs Of Daddy Issues In Women
Women with daddy issues usually have trouble knowing what they want from a relationship. This happens because they never had their fathers by their side when they were growing up. There were no daddy-daughter hide-and-seek games, any bonding time at KFC, or play-time at the park.
They say that a father is a girl’s first love. But what happens when it becomes the first heartbreak? This emotional and physical unavailability of the father creates issues for the daughter in her adult life. She feels sexually inadequate, becomes a clingy girlfriend, is often extremely aggressive, and tries to control her partner.
Dating a girl with daddy issues can be very draining from all aspects. But understanding the problem at hand is the first step to take. Here are 5 signs that show a woman has daddy issues.
1. Signs of daddy issues: No concept of boundaries
I don’t just mean sexual aggressiveness here; a sense of individuation in such women may be completely absent. You may see your girlfriend or spouse not only struggling to find her own space, but continuously breaching your boundaries. You have to understand that they are still not ‘adults’.
Women with daddy issues are stuck in their childhood stage of clinging to a parent, demanding attention, space and accommodation. As an adult, you may understand notions of personal space, but she has no awareness of such things (she’s still stuck in her 7-year-old bubble).
In fact, most of these women feel guilty for laying down any boundaries for themselves, because they feel like they’re upsetting you. No wonder dating a girl with daddy issues is a Herculean task.
2. A constant need for validation
As I said, daddy issues are not simply about getting attracted to an older man in order to replicate a childhood relationship, but also mostly about the ‘absence of a father’. This can even mean that the father existed, but was never emotionally available. In such cases, you find your girlfriend or spouse hankering for attention and validation.
Everything in her world is of value and worth only because you approve of it. Criticism of any sort may be taken personally in an intense manner. Sometimes this is followed by anger, crying, and aggression to the extent that you have to amend the negative statement you made earlier. Aren’t the signs of daddy issues taxing to just read?
Related Reading: Child Abuse By Parents? Here Is What You Need To Do
3. Crippling jealousy
Unrelenting jealousy and insecurity are classic signs of a woman who might be having daddy issues. She may not have gotten over her childhood world where everything was about fighting for attention from her father who was occasionally more attentive to the mother. That’s actually the root of the Electra Complex.
It’s the envy or the jealousy of a female child for her father in competition to her mother. As per Freud, it’s an essential part of sexual development. Some women unfortunately find themselves stuck in that stage. By extension, they make life hell for their partners in adulthood. The daddy issues signs are a hindrance in all stages of the relationship.
4. Pathological fear of being single – Worst daddy issues symptoms
This is almost addictive because such an insecurity may drive a woman into serial dating with anyone who walks into her life. They cannot, I repeat, just cannot handle breakups as they find them apocalyptic and damaging. They have to move on to another person.
In many cases, they would keep reconciling with their ex, re-connecting with them physically, mentally and emotionally without any sense of self-respect or self-esteem. The fear of being single may drive them into an addictive cycle of losing their own sense of self, as they find it immensely difficult to be comfortable in the presence of their own company. This is an absolute sign of daddy issues in a woman.
5. Do you really love me? Daddy issues symptoms…
Since everything in their world is motivated by fear and a deep sense of threat and loss, the thought that their partner may leave them any day is recurrent and terrifying. Women with daddy issues know that they would have to survive alone… Hence, they need constant reassurances.
As children, we are, of course, scared that we will die in the absence of our parents. Even when you first start going to school, you remember feeling a deep sense of fear and loss about being separated from mommy or daddy. What if they don’t come to see you or pick you up? It’s a crippling and debilitating thought. But with time, as we grow up into singular beings, we are more comfortable being by ourselves.
Certain times, in dysfunctional families and abusive marriages, the child constantly witnesses violence and aggression from the father; they are trapped within that fear that ‘that’ experience may repeat itself in their lives. And because their father didn’t love the mother, the woman has to constantly find some kind of reassurance that her quasi-father-partner loves her and wouldn’t abandon her.
Daddy issues are prevalent in more women than we can imagine. They stem from a deep sense of neglect in childhood. Many people have emerged stronger after battling their unresolved trauma in therapy. Seeking professional help can be beneficial for your relationship and general well-being. At Bonobology, we have a panel of licensed therapists and counselors who can help you analyze your situation better. Healing begins a click away.